One (Last) Chance | By : RotSeele Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Seifer/Squall Views: 3719 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8. I do not make any money from this story. |
Thirty-Eight - Seifer POV
I threw up my arm to shield my eyes from the bright white light that suddenly exploded out of the darkness, a string of curses escaping me. When the light faded, I lowered my arm, and found myself in a pure white room. I wasn’t alone; everyone was there. Everyone, except Squall.
I spun around, trying to find him. My heard pounded in my chest, and an almost painful feeling came over me. Squall was gone. He’d been right beside me and he was gone! His words came back to me - I don’t belong to this time. What if I disappear at the end? - and my chest tightened with incredible pain. Irvine ran past me, then Selphie, Zell, and Quistis. Their voices filled the empty space, echoing together. I didn’t listen.
I wanted to yell out for Squall, but I was sure he couldn’t hear me. I didn’t know where to begin looking either, in this white void. What if he really had been sent back to his own timeline? Or worse, what if he had died? What if time hadn’t allowed for Squall to survive after we beat Ultimecia? Or what if he had survived, but had lost all the memories we’d made over these long weeks? What if he didn’t remember me? What if he didn’t remember the promise we’d made?
I stopped panicking.
My fist clenched. Our promise. The promise we’d made each other, specifically for this situation. First, we had to escape the Time Compression and make it back to our proper time. I closed my eyes and thought about Balamb Garden. I pictured the training grounds, and the secret place. That was where we were going to meet after we’d finished this. If anything, that’s where Squall would be waiting for me. And if he didn’t show, he and I were going to have words when I found him. I hadn’t gone through all this bullshit, hadn’t had Guardian Forces sacrifice themselves to protect me, hadn’t decided I could love Squall, just to have him taken away from me.
Somewhere in the distance, I heard Rinoa’s voice. She was calling out for Squall, for me. I didn’t answer her. Somehow, I felt that if I did answer her, I would lose my chance of ever meeting Squall. I forced my body to relax and closed my eyes. I focused an image in my mind of the secret place in Balamb Garden’s training center. I tried to make it as real and as lifelike as I could, as if I was standing right there, right now. I imagined I could smell the scents of the plants and animals kept there, that I could hear the noises of the training center. I imagined that, when I opened my eyes, Squall would be standing there beside me.
I didn’t feel anything different. I didn’t feel my body shift from the nothingness where I stood to the training center. The sounds and smells I imagined became more pungent, became more tactile. When I opened my eyes, I found myself standing in the secret place, overlooking the nighttime sea. The smell of the ocean made my nose sting a little, and the sound of the surf crashing against the hull of Garden seemed far too loud. I was also alone.
“Squall?” I called, not daring to let my voice get too loud. I wasn’t sure if there were any other people around, and I didn’t want word getting back that I was crying out for my rival. I didn’t hear anyone, and I didn’t hear a response.
Squall, you bastard. You better not be dead. You better not have disappeared! I swept out of the secret place and into the training center, but I heard nothing out of the ordinary. No footsteps on the ground. No sounds of a gunblade. No sounds of extra belts and leather. I couldn’t even feel his presence.
I gave in.
“Squall! Squall!”
Nothing. Silence, except for the chatter of a bird.
My stomach twisted. I felt sick. My chest tightened and it was hard for me to breathe. Where was he? Had he really been consumed by the Time Compression and sent back to where he actually belonged? Was I going to come across a different Squall? Was I going to come across him at all? Was he going to be stuck in that place, that wasteland, forever now?
My eyes burned. I wasn’t going to give up. I couldn’t give up. We’d made a promise to each other, and Squall always kept his word. I ought to wait right here for him; this is where we said we would meet. If I wasn’t here, and he showed up, what would he think? Would he have the same thoughts I’d had? That I was dead, consumed by the Time Compression? I scrubbed my face with my palms. Who would’ve thought that I’d miss Ifrit’s commentary? The GF had sacrificed himself for me, when Ultimecia had attacked my mind. Ifrit, Cerberus, Diablos, and Carbuncle had fought Ultimecia within the battlefield of my thoughts, and had fallen one by one. The only one that had held on to the very last minute had been Ifrit, but he had at last fallen, just after Rinoa had joined the battle. Then it had been sorceress against sorceress, with Ultimecia whispering evil sweet nothings to me and Rinoa demanding me to remember my feelings for Squall, and how real they were. That what he and I shared now was far more real and far more precious than anything Ultimecia could promise me.
As hard as it was for me, I turned on my heel and returned to the secret place. I leaned against the wall, arms folded one on top of the other. My nails dug into my arms through my coat, the little pricks of pain somehow keeping me rooted to my spot.
We’d won. We’d defeated Ultimecia and the Time Compression had fizzled out, which allowed us to return to our proper places in time. I wondered where the others had ended up. I wondered if they had all appeared at Edea’s orphanage like they had planned, and I wondered what they were thinking when Rinoa, Squall, and I didn’t show up. Were they worried about us? Where had Rinoa ended up? Had Squall stayed behind in order to make sure Rinoa made it safely out of the Time Compression? He was like that, I mused with a slight smile. He sacrificed his own wants and needs to make sure someone else stayed safe, whole, and healthy.
“I hate waiting.” I said to the cool night air. “Especially waiting by myself.”
There was no answer, save for the splashing waves and the occasional call of an animal or bird. My patience was starting to run thin by the fifth or sixth hour. I was sitting now, my back to the wall so I could stare down the short hall that led from the training ground to the secret place. No one had come by. Not even a student looking to find a place to smoke a quick one before heading off to class. Was class still going on? Or had Cid suspended class because of the war? Everyone was still recovering from the battle between Balamb and Galbadia Gardens, so no one was looking to fight anything right now, but had Cid allowed everyone to take a vacation? We’d left the Garden at Fisherman’s Horizon. Were we still docked there?
The back of my head hit the stone of the wall behind me as I focused my eyes above me. I was losing the resolve of sitting here and waiting. I was going to get up at any second, I told myself. I was going to get up and I was going to find that son of a bitch Leonhart that was testing my patience to the last thread.
“Squall, where the fuck are you?” I whispered to the empty night air. Five more minutes, I told myself. Five more. That was it. Then I was going to get up and I was going to hunt him down.
Five minutes and a handful of seconds passed by me in stellar silence. Nothing happened. There were no footsteps, no sound of a voice. Just the ocean waves and the night sounds that the training center probably usually made.
“Fuck it.” I said. I hauled myself to my feet and pushed away from the wall. I started down the short hall into the training ground proper and stared around at the dimly lit area. I readied Hyperion, figuring I’d be better off letting some of my frustration on helpless monsters and T-rexaurs than Squall when I finally caught up to him.
I came to the conclusion that leaving the training grounds entirely was probably stupider than me leaving the designated meeting spot. I could make circuits killing everything that dared throw itself at me and check the secret spot to see if Leonhart finally showed up. I don’t know how many passes I made before my burning muscles finally beat out my temper and I found myself reclining on the floor of the secret place, staring up at the stars that pinpricked the sky. I’d folded my coat under my head to serve as a pillow and had my hands folded on my chest. Hyperion was propped against the wall nearby, ready and waiting if I needed it.
I saw the dark boots first. They just simply appeared in my peripheral, flickering into existence as merely a shadow. If I looked too hard, they would lose clarity, as if my attention was making the difference between existence and non-existence. So I sat up and twisted myself so I was leaning against the wall beside Hyperion, and closed my eyes. A chuckle escaped my throat. Maybe if I thought it, it would come true.
It was strange, I thought, that I could smell him before he even really fully came into existence, released from whatever power had kept him trapped for so goddamned long. Squall’s scent was subtle and refined, like the air after the storm he’d been named for. I refused to open my eyes, waiting for him to make the first move. Maybe I could get the upper hand if he thought I was sleeping. Deception, after all, is a SeeD’s greatest weapon.
I knew he’d become real when I felt his presence right before me. I imagined he was crouching, watching my face. Looking for a tell. He was trying to decide if I really was sleeping or not. I felt him reach out to touch my cheek. It was an exploratory touch, and I knew he was trying to get me to react. Then I heard him sigh.
“Seifer. You smell like blood.”
I opened my eyes and looked up at him. Squall looked tired. There were bruises on his face that I didn’t remember being there. His eyes were still bright and sharp, but they were soft when they gazed upon me. He crouched in front of me, perfectly balanced. Lion Heart lay on the ground beside him.
I grinned. “I got bored waiting for you.”
He smiled. “I see.”
“What took you so long?”
Squall’s smile vanished. He rocked back on his heels for a minute, then sat on the ground cross-legged. I imitated his position and reached for his hands; they were ice-cold. I started gently massaging his palms and fingers, trying to get the blood moving to warm him up.
“I was wandering the wasteland again.” he said quietly, watching me. I made a point of focusing on his knuckles and the gunblade callouses on his fingers. Squall tended to talk more if he wasn’t being stared at. After a minute, he continued. “I couldn’t find my way out again. It was like... I was doomed to end up there again. But I didn’t see you. I didn’t see anyone. I couldn’t hear anyone. But then... then I saw my mother.”
I looked up at him now, arching an eyebrow. Squall looked a little dazed. “She give you the bruises?” I asked.
Squall shook his head. “These came from fighting my way out of that false little world the Time Compression tried to build around me. I once existed in two times - my current body and my memories of Before - and I couldn’t exist like that. So it built me a world where I could exist on my own, with everything I had ever wanted and dreamed of.”
“So you had your mom. Sis. Your dad. A real chance of a family. A chance of a life without violence.” I surmised.
Squall nodded slowly. “Everything I wanted.”
“But you didn’t stay.”
His stormy blue-grey eyes focused on my face. “You weren’t there.”
I smiled lazily. “Well, Squally-boy, I’m touched. I would’ve thought I would’ve been, considering I’m everything you want.”
He choked as he aborted his laugh. “You were. Just not... you. You acted different. You weren’t as haughty and stuck up. You didn’t curse every other word. There was no swagger or bravado. And you didn’t know Fujin and Raijin.”
I scoffed. “Fuck that me. Who thought a version of the powerful and awesome Seifer Almasy that acted like a chicken-wuss would fool you?”
Squall shrugged. He just watched my face as I scowled, thinking about his description of this other me. Then he leaned in, slowly, and pressed his lips to mine.
I responded immediately. I reached to cup the back of his head, deepening our kiss. I brushed my tongue over the soft flesh of his bottom lip, getting him to open up for me. As soon as he did, I slid my tongue into his mouth and turned the gentle action of kissing into a rough, physical fight for domination. I won, of course. Squall pulled back first, slightly red in the cheeks and panting for air. He was clutching my shirt, as if he was trying to keep me close. Like I wanted to get away from him. If anything, I wanted to get closer.
“Seifer,” he breathed in a soft tone that made lightning sear my blood, “the other you didn’t kiss like that.”
“I don’t know whether to feel grateful or jealous of myself.” I said. Then I pulled him against me and kissed him again, harder this time.
Now that I had him, I wasn’t going to let him go. I wasn’t going to let him talk me into stopping and finding somewhere else to do what I was damn well going to do. I wasn’t going to let him do more than say my name in that soft whisper of his, or make the barest of noises like he’d made when we had that moment in Fisherman’s Horizon. I urged Squall up onto his knees. When he obeyed my command, I pulled his jacket off and tossed it on top of mine. Then I slid one hand beneath his white cotton shirt and ran my fingers over his stomach, heading upwards. His muscles twitched and flinched under my touch, and he pulled back from the kiss to breathe, staring down at my face as he gripped my shoulders.
“Seifer,” Squall started.
I silenced him by brushing my fingertips over his left nipple, giving it a teasing pinch that made him tense, gasp, and then glower at me. I grinned in response. “Not this time, Squall. I’ve done everything you asked, pretty much without argument or question. I even fucking waited. Maybe not patiently, but I sure as hell waited. I don’t wait. And I’m not waiting one more second.”
His fingers flexed against my shoulders, gripping the material of my sleeveless shirt until it bunched in his grip. He didn’t say anything, just stared at me, until at last he leaned down and kissed me.
I didn’t need any more permission than that.
I practically pulled him down on top of me, moving my hands to his thighs to coax him into straddling me. When he did so, I slid my hands up his sides and back under his shirt, tracing the lines of muscles on his stomach and then up over his chest. His skin flinched under my fingers, but he continued to kiss me, so I knew he was enjoying himself. I eventually pulled his shirt off, leaving him half-naked on top of me. My hands moved from the front of his chest to his back, allowing my nails to dig into his shoulder-blades. Squall arched into the touch, breaking the kiss just to inhale sharply. Then he resumed kissing me, biting my lower lip to show his appreciation for the slight pinch of pain. I rewarded him by sliding my hands down from his shoulders to his ass, squeezing the flesh through the leather of his pants. That movement made him grind his hips into mine, eliciting a primal growl from each of us.
Squall pulled back from me long enough to pull my shirt off, leaving us both bare-chested. With him away from me like that, I was given the opportunity to kiss his chest and stomach, and I took it as fast as I could. My lips touched the pale flesh of his sternum, kissing and nipping and biting when I thought I could get away with it. After giving his nipples some exclusive attention, I pulled back to admire the bruises I’d given his body. Squall slumped a little against me, panting. One of his arms was hooked around my neck, keeping him from falling backwards, but it was mostly my hands on his backside that kept him from tumbling to the ground entirely.
“Seifer.” Squall hissed into my ear, his breath hot against my skin. The arm around my neck shifted and I felt his fingers tangle in the short strands of my hair.
“I know.” I replied. So I shifted us a little so I could move my hands from Squall’s ass to the button and fly of his leather pants.
I didn’t bother with foreplay now. Squall was done with it, and I honestly didn’t have the patience for it now either. My fingers fumbled with his belts, button, and fly, but I finally got them open and down, and pulled the fabric away from his skin. I slipped my hand into his pants and wrapped my fingers around his cock. Squall’s eyes fluttered shut and his mouth opened slightly to release a quick puff of air. His hips shifted upwards, allowing my free hand to pull his pants down a little further, thus freeing his cock from the leather. It gave me better leverage to tease him, giving him a repeat performance of FH. I moved my hand up and down his shaft, running my palm over the head of his hardened flesh, before squeezing as hard as I thought I could get away with. Squall panted and squirmed and made breathy little noises of pleasure. His fingers flexed on my shoulders and on the back of my neck and head, his hands constantly moving as if he couldn’t find a place on my body to leave them. I thought about whispering dirty things to him, but he kissed me hard, effectively silencing me.
So much for that idea.
He moaned into my mouth, about the loudest sound he’d made to date. I felt wetness against my palm, spreading onto my fingers as I kept jerking him off. Squall broke the kiss suddenly and tossed his head back, baring his throat as he inhaled sharply through his mouth. He came, his essence ribboning out onto my fingers, which was then smeared across his flesh and mine by my continuous movement. It didn’t take long for Squall to get hard again, especially when I started teasing that sensitive place just in the hollow of his throat with my tongue.
His nails dug crescents into my shoulders as I forced him backwards. He didn’t want to be on his back, where he was in a vulnerable position. It took some coaxing from me before he released my shoulders and accepted lying beneath me on his back. He stared up at me, his stormy eyes focused on his face. Then his eyes dropped lower.
“You wanna see it that bad?” I asked, my tone joking.
Squall rolled his eyes. “I’ve seen it before.”
“Yeah, but now you can appreciate it.”
“Hn.”
But he pushed himself up slightly to help me open my pants and get them pushed down. His gunblade-calloused fingers wrapped around my cock and gave it a tight, healthy squeeze. I couldn’t help the cursing groan I gave at that, tangling my fingers in his chocolate brown hair. I pulled on his hair as he pulled on my flesh, making me bare my teeth in a pleasure-filled grimace. He definitely was appreciating me, in his own Leonhart way. I was surprised he didn’t treat me the way he treated Lion Heart, gripping me with two hands. That thought made me chuckle, and in turn Squall looked at me with a confused expression.
“Nothing.” I said, releasing his hair to push him back just enough to give me access to his cock again.
He gave me a healthy squeeze, making me curse. “You talk too much.” he whispered.
“Someone’s gotta make up for you.” I replied, grinning widely.
Squall rolled his eyes and continued to stroke me. I leaned down and kissed him, pushing him back down where he balanced his weight on one elbow to keep himself from going completely flat. For a while, I complied with him, but when I felt my orgasm creeping up on me, I pulled back from him completely. He let me go with only a slight struggle, now watching me with that calculating gaze of his, analyzing me like I was an enemy. I didn’t doubt he knew what I was intending to do now, just as I didn’t doubt he could lunge for Lion Heart and cut me in two before I could even think of reaching for Hyperion. But he relaxed back, using our combined jackets as a pillow for his head.
Deciding to take a Squall-like approach to my next actions, I kept silent as I moved to grip his pants and pull them down to his ankles. I debated about turning him over, putting him onto his knees, but decided against it. I wanted to see his face. I wanted to see what expressions he made when we were moving together. Since he let me keep doing what I was doing, I knew he was trusting my decision when it came to this kind of thing. Except I didn’t have a clue, except for the obvious, of course. I took off his boots and then those leather pants, leaving him completely naked. Being that vulnerable made him tense. It was a subtle movement, and if I didn’t know him as well as I did, I’d have missed it. But since I noticed it, I knew I had to make him comfortable somehow, so I made myself completely naked too. Then I covered his body with mine, making sure I was between his thighs before I did. I wanted to get him used to me being there, so close to him. He needed to get used to being vulnerable, to being at the mercy of another person.
He breathed and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He kissed me, a tentative, searching action. He was still tense, both from being exposed and being so close to me. My job now would be to get him to relax enough to let me try and figure out how to continue. Simple touches just wouldn’t do the trick. He had to trust me. I kept still, letting him lead this time, until he gave me the barest of affirmative noises. I stared into his eyes as I moved my hands, settling them on his hips and massaging him there until he relaxed enough to tell me he was ready for the next step. I moved my right hand from his hip to his thigh, moving slowly more for my benefit than his. As much as I wanted this, I didn’t have a fucking clue about how to get Squall ready for me. I mean, he was missing the exact equipment I was used to, after all.
“Wait.” Squall said in a midnight whisper when my fingers moved from his thigh to the cleft of his ass.
I froze immediately, meeting his eyes. “Yeah?”
He was staring at me. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, and for a long minute, I thought he was going to push me away. But he instead shifted his legs just a little bit, giving me a bit more room to work. Then he looked up at me through his lashes.
I kissed him hard, then pulled back just enough so that our lips brushed together. “I’ll try.”
His arms, which were still around my shoulders, tightened, pulling me down to kiss him again. As soon as our kiss deepened and our tongues started to battle, I found his hole and steeled myself. I pushed a single digit inside Squall as far as I dared to, feeling him arch and gasp and tense. Our mouths came apart as he squirmed, his eyes closing tight for a minute. He made a soft noise that I took to mean he was uncomfortable or in pain, so I started to remove my finger.
“Don’t.”
I focused on his eyes. “You’re hurting.”
“It’s uncomfortable. Different. Keep going.”
A rumble of an exasperated laugh escaped me. “You’re such a fucking masochist.”
He scoffed and rolled his eyes, then shifted his hips expectantly. The motion pushed my finger deeper into him, and this time Squall didn’t make a noise of pain. Instead the noise that escaped him was one of pleasure. His forehead pressed into my shoulder as he pulled himself closer to me, widening his legs a little more.
It was definitely different, trying to figure out how to get Squall ready. I was basically stretching the muscles of his asshole, muscles that really didn’t want to cooperate no matter how much he relaxed. My confidence that I was doing something right, though, grew, only because Squall began to arch and squirm, his noises of pleasure coming more frequently as I found the angle that pleased him the most. By the time his teeth sank into my shoulder as his signal to stop fooling around and get on with it, we were both panting, sweaty messes.
I pulled my fingers from his body and pulled him practically into my lap. It was with a shaking hand that I gripped myself and positioned the head of my cock against Squall’s hole. He tensed as he felt my body’s heat and the pressure of me against him, but relaxed a few heartbeats later. Then I rolled my hips up into his and pushed inside him, inch by slow inch, until I was fully sheathed inside him.
We groaned at the same time. Squall tightened his arms around my neck, pressing us as close together as we could possibly get now. His legs wrapped around my hips, making sure I was staying hilt deep inside him. His forehead was pressed tight against my neck and I could feel his breath ghosting against the flesh of my collarbone. My arms were tight around his waist, keeping him close to me, and my cheek was pressed against his hair. I was staring up at the stars, feeling any conscious thought in my brain fizzle out into nothing.
“Seifer.” Squall ordered.
“Yeah, yeah.” I replied, panting. “You got it, princess.”
His teeth sank into my shoulder as I rolled my hips up, pushing my cock deeper inside him. His passage was impossibly tight, tighter than I had thought he would be. And he was impossibly hot, for being so cold. Squall arched back when I buried myself in him again, presenting me with the pale expanse of his chest. I licked and kissed his skin, rolling my hips into his, feeling him move back against me.
I don’t know how long we moved against each other. I don’t know when our tempo changed from slow, trying to figure things out, to quick and sharp, driven by the incredible pleasure we were getting from one another. I groaned in response to Squall’s feathery gasps and whimpers. Squall’s body trembled from the sensation of my cock sliding out of him only to slam back in as deep as I could possibly go. Our mouths met, but we were panting too hard to have a real kiss, so it ended up being more of a hasty, teeth-clacking, sloppy meeting of the lips. He was trembling against me, growing tighter and tighter around me, until he finally let out a whimper-whine and his body became bow-string tight. Hot liquid ribbons smeared against my stomach as Squall came, and I wasn’t far behind him. I pulled him tight against me as I groaned, louder than I had intended to, and gave in to my orgasm. Intense pleasure shot through me like greased lightning, and my body released every last drop of my seed into the deepest part of Squall.
I hadn’t realized how tight my body had tensed up until the last dregs of my orgasm left me and I nearly dropped Squall because my arms suddenly felt like jelly. If he hadn’t been holding onto my shoulders, he probably would’ve fallen flat onto his back. He let out a long breath and loosened the hold his legs had on me, putting weight back on his feet. He shifted his head and looked me in the eyes.
“Was it as good for you as it was for me?” I quipped.
The corner’s of Squall’s lips twitched. “I’d like to do it again.” he said at last.
I grinned. “I believe there’s a saying that goes ‘great minds think alike’.”
“...But not right now.”
The laugh that escaped me was one part disappointed, one part relieved, and one part accepting. “I guess we do need to stop fooling around.”
Squall smiled a little wider. “I have some promises to keep.”
“I didn’t invite anyone else on this vacation of ours.”
“Tying up loose ends.” Squall said.
“Fuck the loose ends.” I responded, trying to keep Squall against me.
It was like trying to keep water from escaping a bucket with holes punched in the bottom. He pulled away from me, allowing me to slip from his body. It took us both a moment to figure out how to stand again, but when we did, we retrieved our clothes and dressed. As soon as we were decent, Squall pressed his lips to mine, then leaned back with a slight quirk to his lips.
I pulled back and retrieved Hyperion with a wide grin. “I’m good with that.
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