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Dirty Little Secret	By : crymsonpassion Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 834 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Dirty Little Secret: Chapter Four
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Don�t own them, never will. Unless Square wants to
share�.Please?
PS. This is Yaoi. If you don�t like it, don�t read
it!
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~We Run Like Thieves
Through the Temple Of Sin
'Til We Fall On Our Knees
Then You Go Back To Him
I Wanna Feel Alive~
Bon Jovi, �Dirty Little Secret�
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No one looks twice at me as I make my way down the hallways
towards my destination. It was way too easy to find out where Leonheart was
going to be. Maybe the gate keeper wasn�t thinking when he just told me that
�The Commander� was currently in a meeting in the conference room. He didn�t
even make note of who I am. He only raised an eyebrow, as if he might have seen
me sometime before. Fuck, I spent the last eight months in hiding, afraid of
the world�s reaction to a washed up knight, when in my own former home, I can�t
even turn a single fucking head. Next time I try to take over the world, I�m
gonna make sure that people will remember my name.

I�m not sure why exactly it took me two months to come back
here after I beat Squall, but for some reason, I just couldn�t come back right
away. No matter all the shit Squall was going on about with me belonging, I
didn�t want to come back, and it didn�t have anything with having to see all
those kiddies that I tried to personally kill. Nope, I just didn�t want to. And
honestly I�m not sure why I chose today to come back. I was quite content living
under my rock, until I got this nagging feeling to return. And frankly, while
I�m here, I�m going to make an impression.

As I approach the double oak doors, a fleeting thought flies
through my mind. Am I really ready to come back into this mundane routine I had
been so eager to leave less then a year ago? Well, it�s not exactly the thought
of doing the same thing every single that is so enticing to me, but the challenge
of getting Squall back.

Even in fear of sounding like a hopelessly romantic pussy,
seeing Squall walk away from me after the fight made me realize something. I
still want him, and I could possibly even learn to love him. The only thing
right now that I am certain of is that I need him.

So, swallowing the last bit of dignity that I hope to ever
possess, I push open both doors, only to find the small conference room full of
gaping mouths and utter silence. Seems I have interrupted a �Saviours of the
World plus One� Meeting. Heh.

�The hell? What are you doing here,
Almasy?� a growled voice is the first to speak up, and with the words Chicken
Wuss jumps out of his chair and takes a defensive stance.

�Is that anyway to welcome back your former classmate,
Chickie?� I smirk, unbothered by his typical anti-Seifer reaction to my arrival
in a room.

�Former is the proper word, Seifer.� The blonde instructor
has a glare aimed at me from through her sliver framed glasses. Too bad for
her, I learned my glare immunity from the only person who could ever manage to
pull off a good one.

�Oh, I�m hurt, Quisty. Didn�t Squally-Boy here tell you all
about our deal?� I finally turn my eyes towards the stormy eyed brunet, who
still has that bad habit by the name of Dante attached to him. Hyne, I�ll have
to break him of that habit. It�s not good for him.

Said bad habit turns towards the commander swiftly. �What is
he talking about, Squall?� Dumbass� voice holds a lot of hate, very apparent by
his tone. Heh, thank Hyne the feeling is mutual or I might be a slight bit
offended.

�Yeah, Squall. What deal is he talking about?� this time it
is the messenger girl to pipe up. The cowboy to her side only nods his head in
agreement to her statement, offering no comment. For a self proclaimed player,
that guy seems to be pretty whipped. Who cares, really?

Looking no more upset then usual, Squall looks around the
room with an expression commanding silence. Or at least that�s what I think it
means from the way that Chickie squeaks and quietly slides back into his chair.
Then again, I haven�t really been around for most of the past year, and I don�t
know Squall all that well anymore. I spare a second to look at all the faces
that are focused on the famed lion. Cowboy�s is a neutral one, which surprises
me, and the hyperactive speed addict has a curious smile on her face that
almost scares me. No, wait. Not almost scares me, definitely scares me. Chickie
has a disbelieving look, while the Trepe doesn�t look very happy to see me at
all. But it is the look on Dumbass�s face that confuses me. When we first met,
it was like he could sense the threat I held on his claim over Squall�s ass,
yet now, although his look is one of pure hatred, it is not directed at me. It
is directed at Squall. Odd.

�As of right now, Seifer Almasy is SeeD, level four. This is
fully approved by the Headmaster.� As always, Squall is blunt and straight to
the point.

�You gotta be kidding me!� Chickie
exclaims, jumping up out of his seat, only to have Trepe glare at him and wave
him back down. Interesting. Seems that Cowboy isn�t the only one who has become
pussy whipped in my absence.

�Zell�s right, baby, Why would the
Headmaster authorize that a murderer like him be readmitted into our Garden.
Especially when we know hat his hands are stained with blood from all three
Gardens.� Dumbass finally shifts his hate fill gaze from Squall over to me.
Ooh, I think the dust bunnies in the corner just scampered away.

�Oh, pish posh, Dante. Matron
already explained everything to us. Remember, I was part of Trabia, too.� And Irvy is from Galbadia. If we can forgive
him, you should too.� This causes me to look at the petite brunette in
confusion. �Oh, come on Seify. Like I could hold a grudge
against one of our orphanage gang.� The smile on her face is what
frightens me. I�ve seen this kid kill others without hesitation, yet she has an
innocence around her that tells you that she probably believes in faeries and
elves and such. Then again, she probably does, or appearances can be deceiving.
But with her, it�s most likely both.

�We had a deal, Leonheart. I beat you fair and square. The
choice was mine to make. Explain it to them.� I ignore everyone for a moment
and focus solely on Squall. His face is neutral, but I know how much is
probably going on behind the stormy eyes.

�Seifer showed up two months ago. I asked him back into
Garden. He agreed only if I could beat him in a spar. I lost, so the choice was
his to make. Obviously, he chose to come back.� Squall summed up, his eyes
never leaving mine.

The Trepe had clearly decided that it had been long enough
since she had inserted her two gils worth to the
conversation, because she chose now to butt in.

�Two months ago? If you had actually won the fight like
Squall claims you did, why didn�t you come back right away? Why make a deal
then wait to collect your winnings? And Squall, why didn�t you tell anyone that
you were sparring with him? We could have been there to make sure that the
fight was as fair as you say it was!� Although her exterior is calm and
collected, the panic in her voice betrays how upset she is by these turn of
events. But it�s been long enough, I�m out of patience.

�Okay, fuck it. I�ve been running like a thief for the past
year. So sue me if I am drawn to the only place that could have ever been
considered my home.� I growl, directed at the blonde instructor. How in Hyne�s
name could they ever understand all the shit that I�ve been going through?
Shunned at every place I went to, spit on, and cursed at. And I wasn�t even in
control of my own body to claim responsibility for any of this.

�Well, I agree with Squall�s decision. We�re mercenaries. We
fight against one another all the time! The messenger girl holds firm on her
ground, surprising me. �Besides, it could have been anyone of us that were
taken under Ultimecia�s control. Would we treat Squall or Zell the same way if
it had been one of them?�

�That�s totally different! It would never happen!� Chickie argued,
jumping up once more.

�Almasy, you are now SeeD Level Four. Please report to the
assignment office at 0900hrs tomorrow morning to receive your first assignment.
Admissions will assign you a room. Please report there immediately. Selphie,
you and Irvine
are to escort him and negate any open hostilities against him on my word.�
Squall didn�t get this even out of her mouth before messenger girl jumped up
with a �whoot� before running over and grabbing my arm. She pulled me out into
the hallway with Cowboy following us at a much more leisurely pace.

�You�re going to let him roam the hallways with only two
guards?! Are you crazy!� this was the absolute last thing that I heard Chickie
shout before Cowboy pulled the door closed behind him.

�We�ll let the lion deal with the rampant predators.� Cowboy
grinned, with Messenger Girl still on my arm.

�Will you let go?� I glare at the spunky brunette. She gives
me a smile and a �tee-hee� before removing herself and attaching onto Cowboy in
the same way.

�So, Seify. What kept you away from this temple of sin for
so long?� she questions as she begins to pull the cowboy towards admin and
signals for me to follow.

�What does it matter? I didn�t want to be here, no one else
obviously wanted me here, and so what was the point?� I shrug, wanting nothing
more than to get my new dorm and curl up and fall asleep in a real bed for the
first time in Hyne knows how long.

The brunette stops and turns to face me. �That�s not true.
Matron thinks of you as her own flesh and blood. The same way that she feels
about every child she takes in.� I roll my eyes at that comment. Fuck, I should
have expected. �Plus I think that you actually broke Squall�s heart.� Now, that
one I wasn�t expecting.

�What do you mean broke Squall�s heart?� I ask before I can
stop myself. That�s it. I have to train my mouth stop talking before my brain
makes it talk.

�I was there in Timber that day. Seifer, when you showed up,
his eyes brightened, but then when you attacked the president, it was if you
held your blade to his neck instead. And when we went to Galbadia Garden,
when Rinoa was going on about you and we all thought that you were dead, Squall
got really angry and upset and everything! He actually displayed emotions for
all of us to see.� She was emphasizing each point with dramatic arm flailing,
despite her arms still wrapped around Cowboy�s.

�That still doesn�t mean that I broke his heart. Who knows,
it might have been indigestion or something like that.� I argue, hoping that
there is a reasonable explanation for his actions.

�But you never let me finish!� the petite girl stomps her
foot, and Cowboy places a hand on her shoulder to hopefully calm her down.

�What my little cowgirl is trying to tell you is that after
the war, Squall wasn�t his normal stoic self. He was actually sulky and such.
Sefie and I cornered his one day and he spilt the beans.� Cowboy�s smile
actually frightens me more then his girlfriends. But then it hits me exactly
what he is saying.

�Fucking Hyne.� I groan. I wonder
how much torture Squall had to endure before breaking. Then again, I think I�d
just cave to get this little imp to leave me alone.

�I think that he really cares for you, Seifer.� The girl�s
tone went completely serious for the first time that I ever heard.

I push past the two of them so I can continue on. These are
the last two people on Gaia that I want to be discussing this with. No, cross
that. Trepe and Chickie are the last two people. �Don�t you mean cared?�

I don�t stop in my trek, even when I hear both of them
calling my name. I hear their boots on the floor, running to catch up, but I
don�t notice their presence until a firm hand clasps on my shoulder and spins
me around.

�Listen here, Almasy. We�ve witnessed the breaking of that
lion. And let me tell you, when you are dealing with something that is so
fragile and it breaks, there are a lot of little pieces. Selphie and I were the
ones who had to put every single piece back together. And If you think that it
is �cared�, you can march your ungrateful ass right back out the door.� I match
the glare that he gives me, and slap his hand away from me.

�Listen here, Cowboy,� I snarl. �Don�t ever fucking touch me
again if you value your balls. And what ever happens or happened between Squall
and myself, is just that. Between Squall and myself. Not You.� And with that, I
once again turn and leave them staring at me.

I couldn�t tell if the actually followed me or not, because
neither of them said another word. I got all the way to my new single dorm
without another confrontation. Just a standard dorm, but it is more then I have
been able to claim as my own in the past year. There on the desk though, is
Hyperion. I am a little surprised at this, as they were holding her at the
gates while I was in Garden. Maybe Squall knew I would eventually come back and
told someone to deliver it here. I lie down on the bed and stare at the
ceiling. Did Squall still have feelings for me like messenger girl and Cowboy
were saying? I don�t want to get my hopes up or anything. But that is the last
of my worries right now.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The sound of knocking wakes me out of the slight sleep that
I must have fallen into. I growl, before sitting up. I rub my eyes and walk
over to the door. If it is some student council member or junior cadet wanting
me to join this or buy that, I�ll be kicked out before I even officially
re-enter.

�The fuck you want?� I growl, throwing the door open. To my
surprise, it wasn�t a snively little lower member, but the High Commander
himself. �To what in Hyne�s name do I owe for this little personal visit?�
Sarcasm is a wonderful thing.

I get a chilly glare from the brunet before he looks past
me, into my dorm. No matter how long I have been away, for Squall that will
always mean that he wasn�t some privacy. Now who am I to piss in fate�s
cheerios?

I slowly step aside and allow him entrance. Silently he
walks into closet sized excuse for a room. I close and lock the door, unable to
face my rival now that we are in my room, alone, and with out the urgency to
fuck. Or at least, not a mutual urgency. I hear the desk chair slide against
the tile floor, an indication that things have definitely changed. I let out a
sigh and turn back towards the room. Squall is of course, sitting at the desk,
but instead of staring into the exciting void of nothingness, he is admiring
Hyperion.

�You�re certainly taken good care of her. The energy
crystals give her a lot of extra power.� He whispers, lightly touching the
shimmering blade with a gloved finger.

�Cut the chit-chat, Leonheart. Why the fuck are you here?
I�m sure that every new SeeD doesn�t get a personal visit from the High
Commander. What makes me so fucking special?� I growl, with a little more
malice in my voice then actually necessary. But after everything that has gone
down today, I think I deserve to be a little bit hateful towards him. After
all, it�s his fault that I am actually here.

Squall only turns to look at me with a glare.

�Remember, Leonheart. I�m completely immune to every single
one of you glares.� I smirk, causing Squall�s eyes to widen, but the scowl to
remain.

�Fine then, Almasy.� Squall looked at me with an odd look on
his face. �I just came to tell you that I worked everything out with Zell,
Quistis and Dante about your arrival and SeeDship.�

�Oh, yay for me. I feel so much
more welcome here now that Chickie, Trepe and Dumbass accept me.� I snarl
sarcastically.

�They are Captains Dincht, Trepe and Anrone to you, Almasy.�
Squall glares at me, despite my earlier warning.

�Captain Anrone? Did he earn that rank or did you so
generously bestow it upon him?�

�I didn�t come here to argue with you, Seifer.� Squall
stands up from my desk and looks over towards me with a hard expression.
I match his look. �Then enlighten me, Squall. Why the fuck
are you here?� He did something that I was not expecting. With purpose, he
walks over to me, not stopping until we are nearly chest to chest. He looks up
at me with determination, and then shoves something up against me. I instinctively
grab the papers from his hand.

�Here are your GF release forms. You have Cerberus and
Alexander at your disposal. Use them wisely.� With that, Squall turns and
begins to walk towards the door. I let out a sigh, before reaching out and
grabbing his wrist.

�Squall, wait.� I sigh, not feeling him resist.

�You�ve already made your feeling about being here known,
Seifer. Why should I wait?� Squall manages to get his arm free from my loose
grip, and then crosses his arms over his chest while standing there in front of
me.�

For the first time since he entered my room, I look directly
into his face, and in turn into his eyes. The stormy grey is the never ending
void that I would like to get lost in for the rest of eternity.

�I just wanted to say that I�m sorry. I�ve been a jackass to
you since I arrived and you haven�t been the one to deserve it.� There, I did
it. I apologized. I guess it wasn�t too hard. Even if I can�t have him as my
own, at least I can clear the water.

Squall arches an eyebrow in disbelief. �You�re apologizing?
Seifer Almasy does not apologize.�

I roll my eyes at Squall�s comment. I should have expected
that. �So I�ve learned a little bit of humility over the past year. When the
difference between eating or not depends on you being nice, you learn it quite
quickly. Even a delinquent like me.� I laugh, despite the mood.

�Well, congratulations.� He whispers softly, staring up at
me. He doesn�t say another word as he steps closer, effectively closing the gap
between us. I can�t find any words to say at the moment, something about his
eyes have me captivated. My mind all of a sudden decides to take a southern
vacation, and my thoughts turn to a less innocent set. All I can picture are
the creamy thighs, the pale flesh, the glittering sweat. I feel the response to
those thoughts, and pray that Squall doesn�t notice and just leaves. But I have
no such luck.

But my luck is about to change.

Without warning, I have my arms full of a certain brunet,
pink lips suddenly crushed against my own. An arm travels to the back of my
head, and I feel the gloved fingers run through my short blond hair, pushing
our mouths closer together. With the renewed closeness, the welcoming feel of
his lips parting give me all the incentive I need to thrust my tongue out to
meet his. To my disappointment, it never comes.

Squall becomes dead weight in my arms, and I support him the
best I can before we both fall to our knees. I can feel him tremble in my arms
and his breaths are becoming more laboured and rigid.

�Squall?� I ask, still a little out
of breath from the sudden kiss.

�I�I�� he stutters, pushing my arms off of him. I pull back
and he instantly wraps his arms around his legs.

�Dammit.� I whisper, before
punching the floor. I can�t believe that he fucking just did that.

�Seifer�I�� he still is to shaken to finish sentences.

�Just go, Squall. Obviously, you should just go back to him.
It�s over between us.� As much as it hurts me to say this, it�s clear to me
that there is no way he can be mine anymore. I pull myself up off the floor,
and take my GF release permit, hiding behind the excuse of putting it on my
desk. �I�ll see you around.� I can�t find it in me to watch him leave me,
again. It�s silent for a time and I stare only at the wall ahead of me.

�We should spar again sometime.� The soft voice startles me,
but I still don�t turn to look at him.

With that, I hear my door slide open and closed once more,
signalling that Squall has left me alone with my thoughts. But it is his last
comment that surprised me the most. Even though he jumped me after only moments
alone with me, and had a breakdown only moments later, he wants to spend more
time with me alone. I think that things might just be starting to go my way.

And it also means something else. Something that makes me
extremely happy. The way that Squall jumped on my like that causes me to
question the state of Squall�s relationship with Dante. And who am I to just
sit back and watch when someone I have know practically my whole life is going
through a bad relationship? I should take it upon myself to make sure that Squall
is nothing but happy. And if I have anything to do with it, I will be part of
the happiness in the end too.

That kiss told me all I needed to know. Messenger and Cowboy
were partially right. Squall does still feel something for me, and I need that
something in my life from him. It�s no longer a want, or a need, but a
lifeline. With out him in my life, I won�t be alive at all. And I only want one
thing.

I wanna feel alive.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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Dirty Little Secret