Recollecting

The sunlight streamed in through his window straight onto his face, and Cid squinted his eyes before he slowly opened them. Morning had crept up on his already, and he could feel under the covers someone warm and inviting shift beside him. Cid wearily rubbed one eye before he slowly sat up, and the delicate, female arm that was laying across his chest slid off and landed gently where his chest had been on the bed.

Cid looked down at his wife, the long morning tangle of brown curls she hated brushing out every morning making a halo affect under her head, and she slept peacefully on her side. He sat there for a moment and stared at her as he brought his knees up and leaned his elbows on them. She was breathing softly, barely making any noise, and her skin shown softly in the early morning light. Shera was what most men would call a beautiful woman, and Cid would have to agree with them. There was that long brown hair of hers, and coupled with the shape of her body and the beauty of her face she was very, very attractive. It didn’t hurt that she was a great mechanic, good with her hands and made the most erotic noises during sex. Cid brushed two fingers over the long scratches on his shoulder he got from last night with a sigh, vaguely remembering what happened.

He’d been mopey, she’d gotten pissed off. She slapped the ever living shit out of him and stomped off to her room. He’d gotten that weird ass phone call from Tseng about the whole Shinra academy thing (which he later agreed to, he remembered) and then came to his bedroom expecting a turn out that really ended in tears, a lot more appologizing and sex. Lots of sex, if he remembered right. Cid stole a glance back towards Shera’s form with another sigh. Daddy and mommy and baby make three, wasn’t that right?

He got up and slipped the pants from the other day on, grabbing a sweater from the closet as he walked out of the room towards the back door. The early morning air was growing colder with the approaching autumn, but that didn’t deter him from lighting up his first early morning cig. The nicotine hit his system and he could feel himself relaxing. He’d better enjoy this while he can- gotta quit before the baby comes....Christ, the baby.

“Hey...”

Cid turned around and watched Shera walk towards him, wrapped up in a thick woolen blanket and still looking sleepy. “Hey yourself. Ain’t you cold?”

“You should know, you stole my body heat.” There was a small trace of a smile at her lips. “....Stop looking so pensive, Cid. It doesn’t work for you.”

“I know...go inside before you freeze to death, I’ll come inside in a minute.” He watched her turn back around and walk inside, shutting the door behind her before he turned back to look into the backyard. He took another drag and suddenly the cigarette tasted even more horrible in his mouth, and he flicked it into the dew covered grass below him. Had to plan this right, say his words right and pick the right ones in order for what he had to tell Shera to work, and for Cid, whoever blurted whatever he was thinking out without thinking of the consequences, this would take some work. He could smell the aroma of bacon and coffee being made as he opened the door, and he sat down at the kitchen table, watching Shera as she worked. “...Shera, put that off for a minute and sit down. We gotta talk bout some things that need to be talked about.”

Shera lifted an eyebrow at him, but turned off the burners and sat the frying pan down before she sat across from him. “Like what...”

“Like me and Vincent....like what happened and why.” He watched her shift around a bit before he continued speaking. “Ah know this is something you want to know and deserve t’know, so I’m gonna tell you. First of all, it didn’t come around cause of something you did or didn’t do. I told you that last night- it was never you.” He waited for a response but got none, so he kept going. “And it ain’t all my fault or Vince’s fault either- it was a joint effort kinda thing, ya know?...yeah..anyway....I’m not going to go into all of the details but I’m just gonna say I’m sorry ‘bout keeping it from ya and hurting you, and hell, confusing you, the way we did..but I ain’t gonna say I regret what happened ‘tween me and Vince.” Cid brushed a hand through his hair with a sigh. “And...I know you got something you wanna say or ask so...so go ahead.”

“.....I don’t know which was more shocking...it being HIM or it being another MAN.”

Cid lifted his eyes off of the table to look at hers when the slight amusement came through her words. “Yeaah....bout that... I don’t know how to explain THAT one, cause as far as I can recall I don't get the hots for another guy...didn’t know how to bring up what was going on to ya, cause as far as I know you’re not one of them women who get off on two men getting it on...are ya?” Cid glanced up at her, and almost chuckled at the blush creeping across her face. “Anyways...I..don’t even know what you think of me now ‘cause of all of this, other than I’m a lying, cheating scumbag, etcetera.”


“Cid...” Shera sighed and folded her hands in her lap. “I kind of... knew you were cheating on me.”

“You..what? You knew? Since when!”

“About two weeks ago...and the ironic thing is, I asked Vincent wether or not you were, and he said no, that you weren’t cheating on me with another woman...that’s when I figured it out. I just didn’t want to believe it. That you were....”

Cid sighed. He could have stabbed himself with his own spear in the groin and have it sting less than this. “Yeah...cheating.”

“With another man.”

“That REALLY bothers you that much?”

“Not bothers me so much as....confuses me and makes me feel...inadequate. I couldn’t understand what it was they had that I didn’t, what you wanted I couldn’t give you.”

“....Just do me a favor and take the butcher knife and cut my heart out, will ya?! I already feel like shit!” Cid’s eyebrows narrowed, and he could feel his temper creeping back in. “I already know I fucked up, do you have to add injury to this?” He stood up and looked down at her, staring her straight in the eye. “I already TOLD you that none of this was your fault in any FUCKING WAY!”

“Cid..”

“WHAT?!”

“You love him...don’t you?”

The rage that was being built up suddenly diminished to nothing, and Cid stood there staring down at her. It took a moment for him to tear his eyes away from hers, and slump defeated down into his seat. “....Yeah.”

“Yeah...” Without saying another word she stood back up and walked over to the stove again, flicking on the top burner as she picked up the frying pan. “Bacon okay?”

“....Sure.” Cid’s word came out muttered, and he flicked his eyes over to her form. She was still looking at him, and the look she gave him was, as far as Cid was concerned, the closest thing he’d get to forgiveness.
**********************************

It doesn’t take long for seven days to pass, and to the Highwind household it seemed that five went by even faster. Friday turned to Tuesday, and on Wednesday morning Cid stood outside of his front door smoking a cigarette, scanning the skies for the chopper that he was told would pick him up. He didn’t quite understand why the pick up time had to be five in the fucking morning, but that was Shinra for you. They say five, and seven rolls around and they’re still not here. He scowled slightly and put his cigarette out on the bottom of his foot, turning back inside. He didn’t know if Shera was awake, but if she wasn’t he wasn’t about to try to. She was a real monster in the morning.

He sat down at the kitchen table and began running his hands through his hair as he waited, and didn’t even notice his wife as she walked into the kitchen until she put a hand on his shoulders. “Hey.”

“How long have you been up?” Shera looked down at him sleepily, wearing nothing but her white house robe tied up at the waist.

“Since four...couldn’t sleep, kept hearing chopper blades outside.”

“Nervous?”

“....I don’t know. Something.” Shera pulled up a chair beside him and leaned against him, her head against his shoulder. “Shera- listen, I-..” cid’s words were cut off as the dull whirling of chopper blades he’d been waiting for all morning finally caught his ears, and he sighed heavily. The two of them stood, and Cid picked up the already prepared duffel bag he’d packed off of the floor before they both walked towards the back porch, the black helicopter coming closer and closer into view. Cid turned towards his wife and spoke while he had the chance. “Listen Shera...I don’t like the idea of leaving you here alone for six months, especially not pregnant...Vince’s cell phone number is on the table in there. I left it for you to call when you need him to come back....don’t be too prideful to use it, Shera....there’s no better person I can think of and besides....he really likes you.” The chopper was landing in the back yard now, kicking up a dust storm that battered the back door.

“You better hurry, Cid. I don’t think that pilot’s gonna wait much longer.” Shera went to turn inside the house before Cid caught her arm and pulled her back towards him. “Cid-...”

“I just wanna say before I leave I’m sorry I wasn’t the husband you wanted me to be...so I’m gonna come back soon and try to be the father I’m supposed to be...alright?”

Shera looked up at him, her brown eyes staring up at his blue ones. “....alright.”

“...I love you, Shera. I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me, for this, and for still feeling for him the way I do...” Cid pulled her closer and swiftly kissed her on the cheek before he let her go and opened the back door. The noise from the helicopter blades was deafening, and Shera soundlessly watched him run through the swirling dust to the open chopper door. He hopped inside, waved to the pilot, and as the helicopter lifted they watched each other until both of them were out of each other’s sight.
*********************************


“How was the helicopter ride?”

“You ever put me in a chopper with Reno for nine hours again and I will kill you where you stand, you got that Tseng?”

Tseng lifted his eyebrow as he watched Cid walk towards his house, looking about as pissed off as a stepped on scorpian. “Got it. Take off your shoes before you come in.”

Cid watched Tseng, who was wearing some kind of fancey robe (that’s right, Vince called them kimonos) turn back into his house. The pilot grumbled a bit and set his bag down on the ground before he started unlacing his boots, the scowl never leaving his face. “Why did Reno tell me to come here anyways? I thought I had to report to central HQ pronto.”

“That can wait until tomorrow.”

Cid shoved the last boot off and threw it over with the other one on the front steps as he picked up his bag and followed Tseng inside. “For what?”

Tseng turned to him abruptly, and without saying a word snatched the duffel bag out of Cid’s hand. “Go down this hallway and when you reach the door at the end go out of it. That’s the backyard. Someone is waiting for you.”

Cid blinked at the order, his scowl deepening as he started to walk past Tseng. “Guess I got no choice.” He continued to mutter under his breath as he pulled open the door as he got to it, shielding his eyes from the sudden intrusion of sunlight. The backyard was spacious enough, a small bridge leading over a pond and what looked like a collection of sand and rocks. It wasn’t any of this, but the person sitting beside the water that caught his attention. He began walking towards them, unsure of what to say. Was this Tseng’s wife or something? “Um, excuse me?” He waited until the person heard him and started to turn before he continued speaking. “I’m trying to find someone, are you the-.”

Cid’s voice was caught in his throat as the person’s eyes caught their own, and he stared into the blood red iris’s he knew so well. They were over a nose he’d heard too many complaints about to count, which was over a pair of, it seemed, even paler pink lips he knew VERY well. The pale skin was the same and the black hair, which seemed even longer now, framed that familiar face like it always had. “.....So this is where you’ve been, huh Vince?”

“...that was the longest five days of my life, Highwind.” Vincent found it hard to speak as he reached up and grabbed Cid’s hand, pulling the pilot down to the ground beside him. He only waited long enough for his body to hit the ground before he wrapped his arms around the other man’s body, his face buried in the crook of Cid’s neck..

“....Sorry ‘bout that, Vince.”

From where Tseng stood at the window looking into the back yard, he could see the two men embracing, talking to each other in low tones. He watched long enough for a knot to form in his stomach before he turned away and started to walk back towards the kitchen.