Like a Cherry River

He felt like a bastard.

Well…more than usual.

This was like…advanced bastard condition.

He just couldn’t seem to believe it, or just how crummy he really felt about this whole thing.

He’d forgotten the day that Zack had died.

He fucking forgot that Zack had died yesterday, five years ago.

He fucking forgot.

He just lived yesterday through like normal when he should have gone and been remembering Zack…well, actually, he did that too much already, if anything…he should have at least visited that ridiculous shrine-type-thing that Cloud had set up, which was really no more than Zack’s sword jabbed into the ground.

But…he could have at least visited, or put some flowers down…something…anything…

But, he’d done absolutely nothing,

Nothing at all.

Sighing out, he made it over to the Shinra building, going through security and up to Rufus’ office, he rapped on the door. Rufus had said not to come, but how else did he expect to get those papers? There was no way he was leaving something important at the front desk. The receptionist Weddie, would have covered it in nail-polish and potato-chips in less than an hour.

But, when he made it into Rufus’s office, there was no way for him to escape that glare, no matter how much Reno avoided his boss’s gaze.

“Something really is wrong?” Rufus observed, snatching the envelope away and opening it with a sharp fingernail, going through the papers and glares of everything between approval and disappointment and pure unadulterated disgust.

Reno looked down, he really shouldn’t have been explaining this, it wasn’t anything for Rufus to worry about, “It’s nothing boss,” He grumbled out, “I uh…I’ve gotta go do something,” He excused himself, turning away, and was stopped for only a brief moment by Rufus’ curt reply,

“Have it your way,”

Reno looked down before he moved again to the door, leaving without looking back, “Yeah…See ya ‘round boss,”

--

Reno was lying though; he didn’t have anything to do. After he’d left the Shinra building, he made a small trip to his car, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and slipping one between his teeth. Drawing in a deep drag after it was lit. He could practically feel the nicotine and tar eating him away, just like it had been for at least eight years. He pulled it from his lips and went to blowing a small colony of perfect circles, watching each one idly as it drifted up and up before the particles of wind tore it apart.

He realized then, that he felt like one of those smoke-rings.

Right now, it felt like his mind wanted to be ripped away in so many directions, by so many different things. There was just, too much on his mind.

Zack’s death.

Wanting him back.

Wanting to get over him.

Trying not to focus on how much he wanted Zack and had to get over him.

Feeling like he had to do something for Cloud.

Wanting to try and make amends to Cloud and the rest of avalanche.

Trying to redeem himself just a little bit.

Closing his eyes, he relaxed as he sat on the hood of his car. A nice sleek, black car, low to the ground and carrying a silent essence of power, the type of car that big company lap-dogs owned and cared for more than their lives.

He wanted a Jeep.

Rufus said no.

Bastard.

Suddenly, Reno’s train of thought was interrupted by the loud whine of a cell-phone going off. He jumped, and bit down on the cigarette in his mouth, holding it in place as he snatched the phone from his pocket and smacked it up to his ear,

“Yo?”

“Reno…” A voice fell into his ear, making him furrow his brow; it couldn’t be, “It’s Cloud,”

It was.

Reno’s jaw fell open, the burning stick of tobacco falling into his lap and biting at the cloth of his pants, making him leap up to his feet as he gave a quick curse and slapped it away. He should have known it was Cloud, no one else could ever sound so melancholy, but it was easy to tell that Cloud was more depressed than usual. Reno didn’t need five seconds to figure out why.

Zack.

“Hey Strife, What’s with the social-call?” Quite honestly, Reno was damn-right shocked. Cloud had never once called him before, why would he now?

“Tifa said that you came by earlier,”

“Oh, yeah…I did, I had to pick something up for Rufus, But you were sleepin’ yo,” Reno gave a small unhappy growl as he observed the front of his pants. Right there, over his crotch, was a small perfectly circular burn mark with tiny little frayed edges, making a perfect little peep window to see the nose of a moogle that was printed on his boxers.

After all…Zack’s were still in the dryer.

Cloud gave a silent nod, “So you found it alright then?” Reno blinked in confusion, Cloud was actually, making…small-talk? Really?

Apparently so.

“Yup, Even in that big mess of yours,” Reno managed to laugh a bit, and even if the red-head couldn’t see it, just hearing Reno laugh made Cloud manage a weak smile as he pulled the covers back up over his naked shoulder, burrowing back down into the worn sheets on his dust-ridden cot.

“You could have woken me up,” Cloud pointed out, and Reno sighed,

”Yeah…I could have, but you would have complained,” Reno snorted and gave a quiet hum as he opened the door to his car, after a tiny intermission of silence, he spoke up again, “Hey…Cloud?”

Cloud grunted in curiosity,

“How you would feel about getting out sometime tonight, huh?” Reno was making a bold move there, one that he had no idea why he was making it, “I’ve heard you’ve been overworking yourself again,” A lie it was, oh well, it had good intentions behind it, “It would do you some good,”

Cloud lowered his head for a moment, rolling over onto his back and stretching an arm behind his head, falling silent.

Getting out?

He opened his lips to say no, but…closed them and thought on it once more,

Maybe it wasn’t really such a bad idea after all?

“Yeah…” Reno seemed shocked by Cloud’s answer, “I think…I think that would be good,”

Reno laughed to cover up his surprise, “Good to hear Cloud, I’ll drop by later tonight,”

Cloud gave a breath and pushed himself up, swinging his feet over the side of the cot and letting them press against the floor as he played with his own hair, “Uhm, Reno?” He said before the phone-line ran dead, once more catching Reno off guard,

“Yeah Strife?”

“Think you could come by a little…earlier, maybe…now?”

Reno could have shit a brick right there, but he grinned as he started up his car, “Sure, I just gotta go do something first, and no letting that Tifa talk you out of it because I’m a bad influence. You got that?” Obviously, Reno was more than amused.

“I got it,”

And Cloud laughed

Cloud fuckin’ Strife…

Laughed.

Fuckin’ laughed.