"Ergo"

[Author:] jadesilver
[Series:] Final Fantasy VII (Post D.O.C.)
[Timeline:] Based off Information from: http://www.answers.com/topic/final-fantasy-vii-timeline
[Pairing:] ReevexVincent in many forms. I hope.
[Warnings:] There will be spoilers. Don’t get spoiled now! There will, knowing me, be angst, fluff, drama, action and such. I try to anticipate upcoming things for marking for content. If something changes, I'll add more warnings. This has plot. Lots of plot. We will be getting to the sex eventually.
[Criticism:] If you see any spelling errors or stupid goofs, go for it. Otherwise this is here for you to enjoy. If you don’t enjoy it, walk away and don’t say anything. If you do enjoy it, let me know. Encouragement motivates me, attention whore that I am ^_~.
This will be a Yaoi fan fiction. There will be the ReevexVincent pairing. I like my timeline, and my interpretation of it. I don't care what yours is. If you whine about any of these things, I personally wonder what you are doing here at this site. XD
[Thanks:] To Havocmangawip for the Beta

ONWARD TO FICTION! ^_^

~*~

Chapter Five:


Cloud paced, distraught.

“There are some damages that Mako and materia cannot fix,” The doctor explained to him.

“It can’t be!” Cloud said sharply.

“She doesn’t know who you are…and more than likely, she never will again,” the man explained gently. “How would you like us to proceed?

Reeve’s fingers clenched and unclenched at his sides, every word from Cloud’s mouth was pained, reflexive and it was obviously tearing the WRO President apart.

“Do everything you can. She’s a fighter, she wouldn’t give up just because we did. She wouldn’t quit when we were fighting Sephiroth, and I won’t quit on her now!”

“Cloud, did ya…did ya hear the doctor?” Cid asked, rough voice oddly soft. “Her aorta burst under the stress. She had no oxygen to her brain for a really long time. The fact that she didn’t bleed out before the repair is a miracle…”

Cloud spun on Cid, eyes narrowed.

“She’ll be all right! She has to be!”

Vincent’s stomach clenched. Cloud was so loyal and so simplistic that it was hard for him to believe that he could fail. They had been lucky that while trailing Sephiroth he had been so focused on others and revenge. Now he could do nothing but turn his single-mindedness inward for the purpose of self destruction.

“We cannot take her off the respirator…she established an unsteady heart rhythm and we had no choice but to intubate her and give her a feeding tube. Mr. Strife…we cannot repair this damage.”

“What do you want me to DO then?! Cloud cried sharply, Mako blue eyes narrowed as a single tear streaked down his cheek.

“Cloud…it’s up to you…we can give it a few more days…” Cid said, trying to help ease the other man into the decision, and give Tifa a fair chance to rally.

Vincent felt as helpless as Cloud. What could he do? Reeve looked like he was breaking inside, and Vincent was helpless to stop that too.

“I can’t…what about Denzel? Marlene? Who will tell them?!”

“I will,” Reeve said softly. “It was my fault. I’ll tell them.”

Cloud’s face was a mix of expressions. Pain. Fear. Betrayal.

“You can no more blame yourself than Cloud can. All of us failed her when she needed us, but we can’t change that, and she wouldn’t want us to hate ourselves. We all should have died in the fight against Sephiroth. What we got from there…was borrowed time,” Nanaki said softly.

“Tch…” Cloud hissed, turning on his heel and stalking from the room.

Yuffie moved to take a step forward, and Vincent rested a hand on her shoulder.

“Let him go,” Vincent said quietly.

“I will go keep Marlene company,” Nanaki said before stalking off.

“I’ll…talk to Denzel,” Cid said tiredly.

“I’ll go with ya!” Yuffie said softly, her tone cheerful even if the situation wasn’t.

The doctor left when everyone else did, and that left Vincent and Reeve.

“Fresh air will do you well,” Vincent said. “Come.”

He turned, and was surprised when Reeve actually followed him.

Reeve flopped onto a hospital bench in the garden with a moan. Vincent sat with a bit more grace.

Reeve raked his fingers through his hair in frustration, and then tilted his head back to the sun.

Vincent stared at his boots for a while, keeping Reeve company. It was almost palpable when Reeve’s mood switched from inner agony to rage, there was an aching thickness to the air between them and it was electric when Reeve stood resolutely.

“I am so SICK of this!” He cried, making a sharp slashing gesture away from his chest with the side of his hand.

Vincent looked up, just quietly listening.

“I know that I have to sacrifice my happiness for everyone else’s safety…but I’m tired of being AFRAID and hunted! I know I have to atone for my sins, but does everyone AROUND me have to atone too? Pay for my MISTAKES!? I wish they would just KILL me and leave everyone else alone! Haven’t we ALL suffered enough?! Haven’t the people!? The planet!?”

Vincent stood up slowly, and Reeve watched him through narrowed eyes. A moment later Reeve’s face was wet with tears.

Vincent merely stepped forward and slipped his arms comfortingly around the other man. Reeve clung to him almost violently, one fist pounding a scarred shoulder, and the other twisted in Vincent’s shirt.

“WHY!” He shouted in pain, frustration and helplessness, the sound muffled by Vincent’s chest.

Vincent lowered his cheek to the top of Reeve’s head, and then with a tired sigh, kissed that silky hair.

“I don’t know,” Vincent said, accepting the pounding he was taking.

Reeve didn’t really feel better, he just exhausted himself with the small fit of rage. No man liked when he was helpless to comfort a friend. Especially when he feared he was at fault for the distress. This was far from over and Vincent knew that.

“It should have been me!” Reeve choked, shoulders shaking.

“I’m glad it wasn’t, not that I’m happy that…” He couldn’t even say the words, so he didn’t.

“She’s going to die! All because I…”

“Because you had a hard decision to make,” Vincent said, his tone surprisingly empathetic. “You did what you had to do, to protect innocent people. Tifa did what she had to do to protect those children. Neither of you would have the circumstances of the consequences any other way, nor would you want the other to blame themselves.”

Reeve shuddered. He knew what Vincent said was the truth, but he couldn’t believe it either.

He nodded once, miserably.

Reeve slowly backed away, to glance up to Vincent. Vincent let him go easily, ruby meeting blue. Something shuddered, the world tilted and…

A moment later, Reeve was kissing Vincent.

Vincent did an interesting little dance in place that looked vaguely like a startled sea anemone. He was caught between kissing back and running for his life. He hesitated, almost pulling away. Reeve definitely hesitated, feeling Vincent pull back. Half a heartbeat later Vincent was sliding an uncertain arm around Reeve’s waist, the clawed one tangling through Reeve’s hair as the taller man clumsily returned the kiss. He was tentative, feeling the seething desperation between them spurred on by shared grief, feeling the tension between them finally snap.

He had never kissed anyone before, and he really didn’t know what he was doing, but Reeve led, and the kiss slowed down until it was shy touches that tasted like tears and coffee and then like a bit of slick nothing as Reeve’s tongue swept into his mouth.

Vincent made a low sound of want into the kiss, not even realizing he was doing it. He was lost in the scent of Reeve, the taste of him, the delicate and broken feeling in his claw as hair slipped through the metal digits.

A moment later he gasped and pulled away.

What the HELL was he doing?!

His first thought was of Lucrecia, his second of Tifa.

There was no TIME for this kind of nonsense.

“I…” Vincent began, reluctantly letting Reeve slip away from his grasp. “This is not the time or place…I am out of line…forgive me!” And then he fled, because he did not know what to think or feel.

“Vincent! Wait!” Reeve called out.

Vincent was halfway to town before he stopped to sit under an old apple tree, his breathing still coming too quickly, his hands trembling minutely. That was death for a gunman. He shouldn’t have left Reeve alone in the courtyard. He should not be involved. He would get Reeve KILLED with hands that were unsteady.

He wasn’t certain about physical contact…touching had always been a cruel and twisted thing. He was afraid that this too was just another form of that perversion. Tifa was dying. And they had been pawing at each other in the courtyard.

But had he not told Reeve that Tifa wouldn’t want them to suffer? To… not live? Vincent snorted and shook his head. He never was any good at taking his own medicine. But Reeve’s lips had been oddly soft under his, his neatly trimmed mustache that tickled slightly. His goatee was a little rough…but it was a wonderful contrast.

He could still smell Reeve in his arms, and he took an unsteady breath, not really certain what to do. What was right or wrong? He knew nothing really of love, lovemaking or kissing, although of course, the basics he understood well enough. The concept. But never had he experienced such things with another. There had been pain in the past, things barely remember through a haze of tranquilizers and anesthetics. But those were things he could push aside. Of course he could. They couldn’t have been real…of course not.

~*~

Vincent returned at nightfall, and Denzel was sitting by himself on the chair in the research room. Cloud was on the couch, sprawled and asleep.

“What are you doing up, Denzel?” Vincent asked, kneeling in front of the chair.

Denzel hung his head. “I did research on what was wrong with Tifa,” Denzel said contritely.

Vincent knew the knowledge had been punishment enough.

He cupped Denzel’s face with his flesh hand.

“Denzel…none of this is your fault. Please believe me?” Vincent asked softly.

“Tifa…Tifa’s is going to…”

Vincent nodded, his own heart heavy with pain.

Denzel sobbed softly, his face expressionless, as if the sound had not come from him.

Vincent hugged the boy gently, and he didn’t push away. He still had a splint, and the IV catheter was still taped firmly into his arm. He felt so frail against Vincent. So terribly young and so…mortal.

He stroked that soft hair, and the boy collapsed tiredly to his chest. He blinked when he caught sight of Reeve through the doorway. He expected the other man to flee, but he didn’t. Instead he smiled a gentle smile for Vincent, and came over.

“Denzel…you out-stubborned Cid. He is asleep at your bedside, and I find you here?”

“Yes sir,” Denzel said quietly, still sheltering in Vincent’s shoulder.

A moment later, Yuffie swept in and plucked him from Vincent’s grasp.

“Vincent has to put Mr. Tuesti to bed, so you need to come with me and go back to sleep, and I have to get a nurse to hook that thing back up!” Yuffie encouraged., pointing at where the boy had disconnected himself as professionally as a doctor.

Vincent blushed a little at her description. He didn’t know how the girl managed to make it sound so… nefarious.

“My body guards know I will be fleeing, that the matter of where I will be is of secrecy.”

“I see,” Vincent said softly, surprised Reeve was not upset about him fleeing earlier.

“Vincent I…I don’t regret what happened, but…I moved too fast. I apologize for that and…”

“No, no, it is my fault entirely,” Vincent told Reeve.

It had been frightening to find his feelings and desires at all, let alone returned.

Cloud stirred on the couch and Vincent glanced at him. They were going to wake him if they were not careful.

“Come,” Vincent encouraged softly.

~*~

This time a hotel on the far outskirts of town furthest away from the direction of Edge.

Vincent patiently got them a room, this time with two beds. He hoped it would make Reeve more comfortable.

He was surprised to find that Reeve had brought night clothes this time, and he was a bit more relaxed about showering. He took the bed against the wall, and Vincent took the bed closest to the door. He thought things had gone more smoothly as he shut off the lights and settled in for a long and sleepless night when he heard Reeve take a heaving breath and roll over.

Vincent listened to the man cry for several hours, until apparently he cried himself to sleep. His breathing evened out, and the ex-Turk listened to the man talk in his sleep and sniffle.

It was when Reeve woke up screaming in terror that he got up and moved to the same bed as him, stroking the tears from his face.

“No…” Reeve sobbed. “No! please! No more blood!”

“There is no blood Reeve,” Vincent said, checking bandages carefully. “The medication they put you on for the infection may be giving you nightmares?” Vincent tried to console.

Sometimes it was better to think a nightmare was related to anything other than a violent past and distressed mind.

“Why did you get two beds this time…can you not stand me?”

Vincent blinked. He hadn’t thought Reeve would take it that way…he thought the man would have been relieved!

“I…no, you seemed uncomfortable with our…arrangements last time. I had no urge to stress you more than you already are,” he said. “I will sleep beside you.”

“Will you leave the light on?”

“As you wish.”

~*~

A/N:

Finally dammit! The at least KISSED. I think next chapter is going to get a little heavier on both angst and Romance. Vincent has yet to deal with what is going on, and Reeve so far is being very understanding and patient, so :grins: I know it's a slow takeoff, but I hope the plot can hold you until Vincent stops circling around his feelings and just gets on with it! ^_^;

~*~

TBC