It's Just Trash | By : KSipesh Category: Final Fantasy VII > Het - Male/Female Views: 1079 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
It’s Just Trash
Chapter 6
We remained there beside one another for some time, staring silently into each other’s eyes. There was nothing that we needed to say in those moments. It was enough that Tifa was just there with me and that I knew the truth. I could have lingered there indefinitely, however, as was so often the case aboard the ship, there were other things to be dealt with.
"Get your asses on deck. We’re hittin’ Midgar today before headin’ north," demanded our pilot through the intercom.
It seemed that Cid had a knack for knowing how to ruin a moment.
"Damn it," Tifa huffed, rolling her eyes.
I sat up and moved to retrieve my clothing. "We need to go, lest they become suspicious."
Tifa was standing and picking her clothes up off the floor. "Suspicious? Come on, I don’t give a rip what they think, anymore."
While I appreciated what she was willing to face if our relationship became public knowledge, I was reluctant to let that happen. As I dressed, I looked over at her. "Yes, but do you not recall how angry you became this morning? If they had evidence of what was transpiring between us, it would escalate."
Tifa spun to face me, already fully clothed. "Do you honestly think they aren’t going to notice something at some point? Why hide it, Vincent? I’m proud to be with you. I don’t want to have to go around pretending that we barely know each other!"
I was deeply touched by her bravery and resolve, but I wasn’t willing to resign my reservations about the situation. I went to her and placed my right hand beneath her chin. "And I couldn’t be happier myself, but I don’t want their taunts to cause you pain. I couldn’t stand the notion of being the reason that you were mistreated."
There was a flame that flashed behind her eyes. "I’ll fight for you, Vincent. I don’t care. After this is all over and done with…we can leave them and never have to deal with any of them or their crap again. We’ll be free."
Tifa closed the distance between us and put her arms around my waist, letting the side of her face rest against my chest. I still hadn’t buttoned up my shirt, and I closed my eyes, reveling in the sensation of her against me.
Her faith in some sort of future beyond our mission was bittersweet. Yes, I wanted there to be something for us other than just the upcoming fight, but I knew the odds were greatly out of our favor. At the very least, I was determined to fight to the death, knowing that the upcoming battle would, in a way, serve as purgatory for me. Before Tifa had shown any interest in me, I had honestly resolved to die in the fight, win or lose for AVALANCHE, I had possessed no intention of surviving. However, with the revelation that Tifa loved me, my plans needed to change. I wanted to live so that she and I could try and scrape together some sort of acceptable existence. Yet, the thought of our final battle for the Planet against Sephiroth made my hackles rise. Intrinsically, I knew that it was going to go badly for me. Thus seemed to be the will of the universe, something for which I had little defense.
Tifa stepped back from me. "Vincent?"
I brought my gaze to meet hers. "Yes?"
"What’s wrong?" she asked, her expression reflecting her concern.
There was no way that I was going to burden her with my conjecture regarding the struggle we were facing. I offered Tifa a smile and moved away from her. "It’s nothing. Come on, we need to get going."
I know that her eyes never left me as I turned, buttoned my shirt, tied my headband back on and threw my cloak around my shoulders. Thusly prepared and looking my usual manner, I went to the door. I glanced back at Tifa. "I’m going to go. Don’t follow immediately."
I then stepped out before Tifa said anything, knowing that if she did so, I wouldn’t be able to leave her side. I myself wanted nothing more than to be able to walk with her hand in mine through the ship, resistant to the commentary regarding us doing so, but that just wasn’t the way it was.
I headed up to the bridge, for the most part being ignored. Cid was at the helm, and when he finished his cigarette, he let it fall to the floor, before looking over at me. "Look what the fuckin’ cat dragged in."
Nanaki growled from where he was sitting by the window. "I did no such thing. He walked here."
I cocked an eyebrow and sighed, going over and standing near the lion, looking out at whatever was holding his attention. As my eyes scanned the scenery, I heard Nanaki laugh quietly. I turned to look down at him.
The cat switched his tail from side to side behind him, never turning his gaze away from the outside. In a tone barely audible, he spoke. "It’s about time, Valentine. I hope it was…pleasant."
I quickly faced the window again, feeling that I needed to hide my outright grin from the others. I reached over and patted the cat on the head. "Very pleasant."
Nanaki pushed his head against my hand harder, indicating that he wanted me to scratch him behind the ear. I complied, honored that he wanted me to touch him like that. Generally, the lion only let Tifa scratch or pet him. I suppose it was his way of showing me that he was comfortable with my presence. I genuinely appreciated the gesture.
The cat began to purr. "Good. You needed it."
"I most certainly did," I laughed to myself quietly.
Cid then banked the ship so that we could finally see Midgar up ahead. What I saw caught my attention and my hand fell away from Nanaki and returned to my side. The cat didn’t seem to notice the cessation of my petting, as he, too, was mesmerized by the spectacle.
Midgar was in the distance, its probable fate hanging in the sky above it. Meteor looked incredibly unnatural, suspended above the metropolis. How something of such mass could be loitering in the air like that was perplexing and beyond comprehension. Gravity no longer seemed to apply to the laws of physics. It was as though there was a precarious balancing act going on between the city and the fireball that could be broken at any moment, sending Meteor careening downward. We had been in Cosmo Canyon shortly before this, and Nanaki’s caretaker had informed us that it would be only a matter of days before Midgar and the Planet’s collective luck ran out and Meteor fell. Seeing it like this, however, I didn’t see how it could hold out any longer.
I felt Tifa’s presence suddenly come up beside me, between the cat and I. When I felt her hand brush against mine, I clutched it. For the time being, I knew that everyone’s attention was upon Midgar and not us. Besides, I could feel the fear and tension coming from Tifa, and I knew that I had to comfort her in some manner and this seemed to be the best I could do for the moment.
"Well fuck, screw it, let’s head north. We don’t have time to circle jerk any more," Cid said in his usual colorful way.
For once, I have to say that I couldn’t have put it better. We needed to get our mission over with.
However, Yuffie protested. "No! I’m going to Wutai one last time before jumping into that crater on some suicide mission!"
It was like listening to my talons upon a chalkboard. That’s what I equate Yuffie’s voice to. I apologize if anyone finds that offensive, but it is my take on her phonation.
Barrett spoke up as well. "Yeah, an’ I wanna see Marlene."
I wondered how much of this was just a desire on their parts to delay the inevitable. I, for one, just wished for us to go and finish. Procrastination hadn’t served me all that well in my past. However, if there was to be a brief intermission between now and our mission, there was something that I felt I should do. I did not cast my vote one way or another, though. It was up to the others.
"God damn it! We don’t have time! Look out there!" Cid threw his arm toward the window, his frustration with everything boiling over. "That thing ain’t gonna wait for us to take walks down memory lane!"
Once more, I tended to agree with Highwind. That made two times in less than five minutes. The world was ending, this was surely a sign of the apocalypse.
"We have enough time to go say our good byes, Highwind," Nanaki said, moving away from the window and turning to face our pilot.
Cid placed his hands upon his hips, maintaining his discontented air. Yet, there was something within him that managed to show through it. He was wavering in his determination to just go. "I’m flyin’ this mother to the crater. I’ll give it two days, and if everyone ain’t back by then, we’re goin’ in without you."
I knew what it was. I smiled inwardly as I realized that Cid was giving himself just enough time to go back and see Shera. I thought fleetingly about that woman. She was meek and timid, and terribly mismatched with Cid. He walked on her and treated her like dirt. With as sweet as she was and with how she let his constant running commentary about her value as a woman slide off her back, I couldn’t help but wonder if someday Shera would snap. There was a good likely hood that when that happened, her picture would be on the cover of some tabloid, as it prattled on regarding the gruesome details of how she one day decided to take a pair of pruning shears and relieve Cid of his manhood. Either that, or she’d take one of Cid’s own spears and run him through. I think I rather like the former, though.
I realized that I was still holding onto Tifa’s hand and I let it go. The others, no longer looking at Midgar, would have noticed soon had I not relinquished my grip upon her.
Cid huffed and went back to the helm, coaxing the airship to face away from Midgar. He was getting us on our way north.
Tifa turned back to face the window once more, seeming to resign to what was happening. I remained at her side, and heard the others leaving the bridge.
Quietly, I asked her, "And what will you do?"
Tifa looked up at me. "I’ve got nothing to do. I guess I’ll just stay on the ship."
Staying with her there alone on the empty airship for two days was beyond appealing, however, there was something that I felt obligated to do, since I’d been provided with the time. Still, it hurt me to tell her that I had to leave. "I will come back as quickly as I can, Tifa."
Her lips pulled down into a frown. "I’ll go with you."
I kept my eyes fixed out into the distance. It broke my heart to have to refuse her offer. "No, stay with the ship. I have to do something alone. It’s nothing you would be interested in."
"I don’t want to be left here alone!" she shot back, causing me to immediately know that she’d caught Cid’s attention with her outburst.
I heard Cid walk up behind us. "What in the hell’s going on with you two?"
I locked up, not willing to have this discussion with Cid of all people.
Tifa tried to defuse the situation and turned to face the pilot. "Nothing."
"Bullshit," Cid snapped back. He may have been an ass, but he wasn’t stupid. If nothing else, despite his backward and foul-mouthed ways, the man was sharp. "I heard you two going at it, my room is next to yours."
Tifa looked over at me, and I turned to face Cid. I hid my contempt for him and the situation at hand. "The lady said nothing, Highwind."
Cid’s demeanor instantly shifted, and he looked around behind him, making certain that the three of us were indeed alone. His hands retreated into his pockets and he couldn’t bring himself to look at either Tifa or myself. "Look, you guys gotta do what you gotta do. Tiff, I’m sorry for screwin’ with you this morning. If you all are happy, then fuck it."
I was shocked to say the least, and so was Tifa. She replied, "Th…thanks, Cid."
I have never seen someone look so unduly distressed with embarrassment and awkwardness. Cid’s face was awash in color. "Yeah well, I saw how upset you got this morning, and I…I realized that you must really care so, who the hell am I to hound you for it? I like you, Tiff, I don’t want you to hate me or think that I’m a fuckin’ jerk."
Tifa reached forward and touched Cid’s arm lightly. "That means a lot."
In that moment, I realized something that I don’t think Tifa ever figured out. For whatever it was worth, Cid was in love with her. That’s the reason that he treated her differently than everyone else on the ship. Perhaps he didn’t know it himself, but that’s what it boiled down to, and that’s what was going to force him to begin showing me some respect. Cid knew that he’d never had a chance with her, but he wasn’t willing to risk losing his friendship with her if nothing else. Even at the cost of having to accept me and our relationship.
Cid met my gaze and then reached out a hand toward me, his expression looking pained. "Take good care of her."
I accepted his handshake, some of my past distaste for him fading and being replaced, in part, with pity. "I will."
"Good enough. Your secret’s safe with me. I don’t want Cloud having an aneurysm or anything." Cid needed to escape the situation and turned from us to go back to the helm. I noticed the regretful look that he flashed back at Tifa as he did so. "Now go do whatever in the hell it is you’re gonna do. Just…keep it down. I don’t need to hear that shit."
Tifa laughed, thinking that he was trying to joke around to break the tension, not realizing that as she did so, it cut right through the pilot’s heart. I saw the way he hung his head before turning and placing his hands upon the wheel of the ship again.
The fact that Cid was capable of such feelings was endearing in a way, I suppose, and I suspect that I may have smiled. I turned my gaze back to Tifa and decided that we had nothing to lose. I took possession of her hand and left the bridge with her at my side. Although no one saw us as we headed toward my room, it felt incredible to go through the ship with her like that. Openly displaying my affection for her without the fear of what others would say was something I realized I could get used to.
Once before the door to my room, I hesitated for a moment. This room was occupied by a single male and an animal. It was a dismal mess within and I wasn’t entirely certain that I wanted Tifa to witness the slovenly state of the interior. "You need not come in."
Tifa didn’t get it. She thought I was trying to keep her out in case someone saw her going in with me. "No one’s around to notice."
Then again, she’d been in Cloud’s room, and I’d seen the inside of his quarters before and knew that in the way of filth, his place put mine to shame. I consented to let her in with me. "Very well."
While I went forward to begin gathering what I wished to take along with me on my trip, Tifa hesitated over by the door. I wondered what she was thinking of the scene, and I regretted the fact that I never bothered to make my bed. Ultimately, I saw no point in doing so. Then again, compared to what Nanaki’s bed looked like, resplendent with his fur amongst the tattered sheets and blankets, mine didn’t seem quite so disgusting.
She broke the silence that had fallen over us. "Most guys have pictures of chicks hanging by their beds."
I looked back over her. I wondered about how sane what I was about to confess was. "I’ve got a picture."
She seemed to doubt this and crossed her arms. "Oh really? Show me."
I obliged and sat on my bed. I gripped the edge of my ammunition chart and raised it up, exposing the picture I’d found of her, apparently abandoned upon the bridge a few weeks before.
Tifa came closer and leaned over me, looking at her own image. She seemed surprised. "Vincent, how long have you had that picture?"
The fact was that I’d found the picture just a day after being brought onto the airship suddenly seemed wrong. As I’ve mentioned, however, I’d been attracted to her from the outset, and I hadn’t been able to resist taking this photograph as my own upon finding it.
And when I say that I’d been attracted to her from the outset, I mean the very moment that I’d been awakened from stasis. When the lid to my box had been pushed up, I had awakened and opened my eyes, finding myself staring up at two people. One was Cloud who I basically ignored, and the other had been Tifa. Cloud had spoken to me in an attempt to coax me out, but I’d refused. The lid was closed and I fell asleep once more. Then, it was opened for a second time a short while later, and that time, it was just Cloud. Once more, I refused.
Then came the third time.
I opened my eyes, a string of annoyed obscenities coming to mind, but then I saw that it was Tifa-- and Tifa alone. The others had resolved to leave me there, but she had lingered, opting to give it one more try. She took the time to explain the entire situation to me as I listened silently, staring at her, studying her just as much as the tale she was telling me. Once Tifa had finished the story, I had nodded without saying a thing and rose up from the box. Tifa had seemed thrilled with her success, and I followed her out and into daylight for the first time in nearly three decades. I have my weaknesses, I suppose, and Tifa was one of them.
In any event, I shrugged and answered, "All along."
She threw her arms around me and nuzzled against my neck. "Aw…"
I was suddenly self-conscious about the situation and I’ll be damned if I didn’t find myself stir with arousal again. "If you had known that was there before now you would have been disturbed, I would imagine."
Tifa giggled and sat beside me. "Why?"
I cocked an eyebrow at her naiveté. "Not that I have, but why do males generally have pictures of females by their beds?"
She made a quirky expression at me, seeming to be amused. "Vincent…I can’t see you doing that!"
"I said I haven’t," I defended myself. I glanced at the picture once more before allowing the chart to fall back over the photograph. "I’ve been sleeping with a giant carnivore in the room, I would be…pressed to perform under the circumstances."
She laughed at me again as I rose from the bed and went over to my locker. "You’re hilarious."
"I’m merely stating the truth, Tifa." It was funny, however. I reached into my locker and pulled out my favorite weapon, opting to take it with me on my trip.
Tifa’s mood changed, and she seemed to grow sad. "Vincent?"
I looked over at her, wondering what was on her mind.
"Where are you going?"
I wasn’t exactly certain how much I wanted to tell her. I had secrets that no one in AVALANCHE knew. "To pay my respects."
"You’re not going back to that cave, right?" Tifa asked, her face betraying her anxiety.
I knew the cave in question, and I had absolutely no compulsion to ever return there. "No."
"Then where?" Tifa came over to me.
I swallowed hard. I couldn’t lie to Tifa. "I’ve not said goodbye to my brother."
"Your brother?" She seemed confused.
I went and took her into my arms. "My brother, Tifa."
"When did he die?" Tifa gazed into my eyes, searching for answers.
I put it simply. "In the Temple." My eyes closed. "Sephiroth killed him."
Tifa moved back from me. "Well, we saw Tseng… Oh my God, Vincent? Was Tseng..?"
I gave her a nod and then turned away from her, as I felt a sting in my eyes. "Yes."
"I didn’t know…" Tifa’s voice wavered.
I feel the need at this point to stop the story and explain myself.
Yes, Tseng was my brother, well, my half brother in any event. If you are agreeable, I will relate the story of our family.
We shared the same mother, who had been a Wutain. At the time of my conception, there was one of many conflicts that took place between Shinra and Wutai taking place. My mother was no more than fifteen years of age then.
One day, while out in the forest gathering various wild greens, she stumbled upon a Shinra airship that had been shot down. Amongst the debris, she found an injured seventeen-year-old SOLDIER named Joseph Vincent Valentine. Knowing that if she tried to seek assistance for the badly wounded man he would have simply ended up in a prison camp, she was determined to help him on her own. She knew of an abandoned shack in the forest and she somehow managed to get him there. For several days, she brought him food and water, and tended to his injuries as best she was able.
Days turned into weeks, and he slowly began to recuperate. During this time, they came to fall in love, and during one of her daily visits to him, I was conceived.
In any event, he eventually recovered to the point of being able to leave the forest. Although his sense of duty demanded that he rejoin his unit, he was determined to keep in contact with my mother. They said their good byes and he returned to the ranks of SOLDIER. He wrote my mother several times, and she responded in turn. However, he never learned that she was pregnant, for on the day she discovered that she was with child, she received a letter from Joseph’s best friend, relaying the news that he’d been killed in battle.
Afterward, my mother attempted to hide her pregnancy as best she could, but inevitably, it became obvious to her family. Being an unwed and pregnant fifteen-year-old was unheard of in Wutain culture, and her family resolved that her pregnancy was the result of a rape, taking the shame of consensual sex off of my mother.
However, having seen the way my mother used to talk about my father, I know in my heart that rape played no factor in my creation. She had loved him with every fiber of her being.
Nonetheless, when I was born, her parents demanded that I be given up. Yet, my mother refused, feeling that I was her only remaining link back to the man she had loved. To the further chagrin of her parents, she refused to give me a traditional Wutain name, opting instead to bestow upon me the name Vincent Valentine, in memoriam of my father. Why she dropped Joseph from the name is merely a matter of the difficulty the Wutain tongue has saying that name.
In any event, my mother was basically ostracized from the village she lived in because of the birth of her half-breed son. Still, she worked diligently in the fields, supporting herself and raising me. The majority of her wages left over after food and board went to the private school she managed to enroll me in. She wished above all else to see to it that I was properly educated, hoping that it would help me attain a better station in life than she had achieved.
When I was fifteen, I was found to be of an exceptional level of skill in certain areas, and because of this I was offered a scholarship to a school in Midgar. Eager to give me every possible opportunity, my mother let me go.
No longer having to focus all of her attention on me, my mother was able to begin a social life of her own. Several months later, I received a call from her stating that a wealthy Wutain widower, I apologize for the alliteration, in town had taken an interest in her. From the tone of her voice, I knew that my mother had found happiness and within a year, she had wed this man. Shortly thereafter, she announced to me that she was pregnant.
It was just past my seventeenth birthday when I got word from my mother that she had given birth to my brother. He was named Tseng, and I took a hiatus from my education to come back to Wutai and see him.
Even though I continued to live in Midgar after that, I still made it a point to visit my mother and young brother as often as possible, even spending my summers there. Because of this, I was fortunate enough to develop a good relationship with Tseng, despite our age difference.
When I was twenty-one, I was recruited by Shinra as a potential Turk candidate. Now, having been raised in Wutai, I naturally held certain resentments toward Shinra, however, my father had worked for the military branch of the company and I felt that it wasn’t all that bad. Besides, the amount of money I was being offered if I passed all of the testing and became an actual Turk was alluring.
As is common knowledge, I did become a Turk. I remember going back home shortly after my initiation. I was wearing my suit and Tseng had looked up at me, telling me that someday, he was going to be a Turk, too.
And that he did. Not only did he become a Turk, but he’d become the head of the organization. I only learned of this, though, after awaking from stasis, as all of that had taken place during the twenty-seven years I’d been asleep. Even though we ended up on opposing teams, I was proud of him. I knew who he was from the first time I saw him, flanked by Elena and that obnoxious Reno character. I’m not sure if he knew who I was, however. His eyes fixed upon me as we faced off, narrowing. Aside from my hair being long as it now is, I hadn’t changed since the last time he’d seen me. Not knowing that I’d been put in stasis, he probably couldn’t grasp how it could actually be me since I hadn’t aged appropriately. I wish that I’d gotten a chance to speak with him, but it just wasn’t meant to be.
When AVALANCHE stumbled upon Tseng bleeding and mortally injured in the Temple, there was little chance for me to say anything to him. Tseng managed a few words to our group, and then let his head fall back. Tseng’s eyes landed upon me one final time and a smile came to his lips just before he succumbed to death. I’ve wondered ever since if it was in that last moment of life that he realized whom I really was.
Again, now that he’s gone, I will never honestly know. In any event, back to the story at hand.
"I never mentioned it," I told Tifa, finally having steeled myself beyond crying. I faced her once more. "Nonetheless, I wish to go pay my respects. The other Turks buried him close to there."
Tifa accepted this and gave me a look of understanding. "Okay, just remember, you promised to come back as quickly as you can."
"I will." I took Tifa into my arms and pulled her close. I pulled down the collar of my cloak and smiled in my gratitude, before kissing her.
A/N-- Well? Is it worth all of this writing? HM????
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