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Dirty Little Secret	By : crymsonpassion Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 834 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Dirty Little Secret: Chapter Six
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Don�t own them, never will. Unless Square wants to
share�.Please?
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The next couple of days seem to fly by in a blur, and
because of that, I haven�t had a chance to see Squall at all. I wish that I
could just march right up to him and demand an answer. Because lets face it, a
choice between me and Dante? How hard can that be? I have asked both Selphie
and Irvine
about the brunet lion�s whereabouts, but neither of them seemed to have an
answer for me. It caught me completely off guard when I actually made it down
to breakfast yesterday morning, and they were still being civil to me. Selphie
seems to be able to see the good in everyone, and she also seems to have taken
a liking to me, and as much as I hate to admit it, the little imp has started
to grow on me. Even her cowboy boyfriend has some good qualities about him, and
the couple have adopted me readily into their circle, whether or not I really
like it. But what the hell, everyone could use a friend or two. Now with that,
I think I�m about to hurl.

I am currently lying alone in my dorm room, still playing
what happened in the elevator over and over again in my head. As much as I
can�t believe that he might come back to me, I know that I really don�t deserve
him. Deciding against analyzing the situation for the millionth time, I clear
my mind of all thoughts, not that hard, to prepare for junctioning Alexander
before I have to spar against those damn greenhorns. Trust me when I say that
it is not even remotely as fun as it sounds.

I lay there in complete silence, the room brightening more
and more with each passing minute. Fuck, it�s not even 09:00hrs and I am
already in a pissed off mood, thinking about having to deal with those snivelling,
snot nosed little runts. Those little fuckers, most of them only joined Garden
because of Squall and his stupid �I gotta save the world� mind set. Still,
since the war, Garden has yet to produce a single gunblade master since Squall graduated,
no matter how many start on the gunblade. Not counting myself, of course.

The silence drags on, and I almost begin to pray to Hyne for something to
happen, just to have the noise. And as if my unspoken prayer has been answered,
a knocking on my door breaks me out of my silence. I jump off the bed, excited
that there was actually something going on around here. But more importantly, I
hope that it might be Squall, telling me that he is breaking up with Dante and
coming back to me. Hey, a guy can dream, can�t he?

Although the dorm room is extremely small, it feels as if it
takes a lifetime to reach the door. I try to compose myself enough to not act
as if I was waiting for this all day. I smooth off my black t-shirt, and take a
deep breath before stepping on the sensor pad. The door slides open, leaving me
speechless at what I see there.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Fuck this.

I curiously look down the hallway and back, both ends eerily
deserted. Cursing a colourful curse that would make even the foulest mouthed
White SeeD blush, I turn around and begin the trek back to gazing aimlessly off
into space from my bed. As I am almost completely into the dorm, something
catches my eye attached to the door frame. A small piece of paper, no writing
on the outside, folded to be about the size of an ID card. Once again, out of
habit, I look both ways down the hall, only to see no one. The fuck? Who could
have put it there? Giving up quickly, I grab the note off the door and step
fully into my room before opening the note. There, in familiar, compact scrawl
are five simple words.

My room. Ten Minutes. Squall.

Holy fucking Hyne. I think my heart may have just stopped
there for a few seconds. This is the answer that I have been waiting for! His
impromptu invitation must mean that he has made a decision. I only hope that it
is the one that I will like. I can hardly contain myself to wait the prescribed
ten minutes, but I mentally give my head a slap. I have got to be calm, I don�t
need to scare him off, or make him regret his decision. Wait, I don�t even know
if that is why he is calling me to his room. Hyne knows what he actually wants,
despite my hearts eagerness. For all that I know, he is calling me in for
official SeeD business. Not likely. I sit down on my bed, choosing to count to
a thousand before heading over to his place.

317�this is getting really boring. Anything else that I could
do to waste another�six minutes? I could start thinking about the really hot
make up sex that we�re going to have. I smirk at the thought. Well, I have a
year of celibacy behind me, and I can�t wait to have his creamy skin begging to
be fucked, licked, bit�You name it, and he�d thoroughly consider it before
rejection. And some of the things that I actually got him to try�593�a pink
apron comes to mind, and I find myself assaulted with thoughts of an impure
nature. Hyne, these thoughts are making me horny. I�m really starting to pray
that he has chosen me, just so I can fuck him! 784�I don�t even want to
consider what will happen if he chooses to stay with Dante�856�At least nine
minutes have passed without me resorting to speeding up the clocks�920�Close
fucking enough. I jump off the bed and walk, yes walk, out into the hallway and
down the corridors to the High Commander�s quarters. No need to let the rest of
Garden know that I am on my way to fuck their precious commander senseless.

I think the lion was taking into consideration that
something like this might happen when my room assignment was made. I�m literally
only like four doors down the hall from him. That gives me an explanation on
how I found the note, but there was no one around to have delivered it. The
little bastard must have gotten back into his room before I was able to get to
the door. I step in front of the entrance to his room, and quietly knock three
times, just like before, when we were younger. I patiently wait, using every
ounce of my will power to stand still. After what feels like an eternity, but
was really only like a few moments, the door slides open into a darkened room.
Knowing Squall, he was doing this so there would be no possible way for someone
to spy on us, however much the boy is an exhibitionist. He�d let me fuck him
anywhere there was even a chance that there would be someone to overhear us.
Said that it added to the thrill. I step into the darkness, and the door slides
closed behind me, blocking out the only source of light, and engulfing
everything in the blackness.

�Squall?� I whisper into the darkness, for the first time, a
thought runs through my head that it might be Dante setting me up in a trap.
I�m completely unarmed, because who in Hyne�s name needs a gunblade to fuck
someone? Don�t answer that.

�You came.� The familiar voice of my lion comes from
somewhere in the tiny room. With the darkness so encompassing, I can�t even
make out where he is.

�You doubted I would?� I smirk, although I know that he
can�t see it. Before I can get another word in, I get a body thrown at me, my
reactions still sharp enough to catch him. And to my surprise, my bare hands
come in contact with skin, not the normal leather that I am used to.

�Seifer�� he trails off breathlessly, before crushing his
lips against mine. I guess it�s safe to assume that he has chosen me over
Dante. What a pity. I start responding immediately to him, wrapping my arms
around his naked torso, running my hands down his smooth back, before coming to
rest on his ass, his very naked ass. This is fucking awesome! I feel his tongue
rubbing against my teeth, franticly begging for entrance to my mouth. Too horny
to bother with teasing, I instantly thrust my tongue out into his awaiting
mouth. Needing to prove that I am the dominating one in this relationship, I
take all control of the kiss. Lifting him so his feet are no longer touching
the floor, I spin us around so that Squall is trapped between me and the wall.
As if it were a cue, I feel Squall wrap his legs around my hips, locking his
ankles around my waist. With that, I can feel his cock, semi hard, pushing
against mine, which is still in its cloth confines. But it shouldn�t be trapped
in clothes for much longer. He wraps his arms around my neck, his fingers
instantly seeking out my hair.

My tongue is locked in a passionate dance of lust and
emotion, my actions mirrored by his tongue. The soft pink organ stroking mine
as I attempt to taste every nook and cranny of his mouth. He tastes exactly
like I remember, cinnamon and leather. Every thrust of my tongue is met with
force and lust, but it just isn�t enough for Squall.

Just like our first night together, he starts to trust his
hips, in a mimic of our duelling tongues. Oh sweet Hyne above! I honestly think
that I am going to cum right this second. Here I am, after a year of running,
locked in an embrace with the only person that I think I could ever love, and
he is naked, grinding his hard cock into my equally hard erection, and testing
my restraint. I don�t want to come this way. I�d rather be inside him in any
way. I need to feel him that way.

�Holy fuck, Squall.� I breathe heavily; finally breaking the
kiss, but continue to hold his body closely to mine.

He throws his head back, calling out my name as he does so.
By now, I am as hard as a rock, and am almost desperate for any type of
release. But I won�t submit to him like that, instead, I will focus on his
pleasure. Still sandwiched between myself and the wall, Squall uses every bit
of strength that he has to produce friction between our bodies. I give into the
requests of my body and begin to meet his hips, thrust for thrust. Squall�s
reaction to my movements is to rake his fingernails over my shoulders, piercing
the flesh, even through the black shirt that I am wearing. And the denim jeans
that I have on have become way to confining.

�Hyne!� I whisper as Squall�s lips move from mine, leaving a
trail of moisture along my cheek, up to my ear, where he places a single kiss
on my earlobe, then moves back down to my jawbone. His tongue darts out of his
mouth, and outlines the bone, before he bares his teeth and starts to nibble at
my flesh. He alternates between kisses, and taking small portions of my skin
between his teeth and using his tongue on the trapped skin that would make even
the loosest whore scream like a virgin. And it was causing an even stronger
reaction in me.

I have lost absolutely all coherent thought now, focused
only on the naked man in front of me, and how best to move this from the wall
to the bed that is not five feet from us. I need to feel his body writhing
underneath me, almost as proof that this is all real, and that it is not some
stupid trick that my body is playing on me.

�Seifer��he moans in the husky voice of pleasure he uses
only when he is close to cumming. I abruptly stop my thrusting, leaving him
moving against me alone. This causes a whimper to escape his throat, as his
hands make their way back into my hair, pulling roughly at the short blond
strands.

�Shh.� I whisper, wrapping my arms around him, more firmly
that before, in turn pushing him even closer to my body and leaving him no room
to trust against me. A moan of desperation comes from him, and that causes me
to smirk. �We�re just going to the bed, okay?� I ask and not waiting for a
response, and not even really expecting one. I feel him nod against my cheek, before
I move away from the wall and turning to face the dark room. Now there is only
one small problem, I don�t know if the bed is on the right or on the left.
�Squall, which way is the bed?� I whisper, as his lips have attached themselves
to my collarbone, creating a suction that will most definitely leave a mark
come the morning.

Once again, proving why he is such a good bed partner,
Squall holds my neck tighter, before extending one leg out behind us. He is
only being supported by his arms around my neck, and mine around his waist.
After a mere moment of being uncomfortable as his foot searches for its mark,
the small room is flooded by a bright light. I snap my eyes shut to block out
the intruding light, and I feel Squall wrap his leg against me once more.

�Fucking Hyne. Warn a guy next time.� I grumble, squinting
to allow my eyes to adjust to the bright white light. And just being Squall,
the boy is not affected in the least bit by the sudden change in lighting. He
just resumes his actions on my collarbone, occasionally moving closer to my
throat. After what seems like forever, my eyes finally focus and I am able to
see the mop of brown hair in front of my face, the strands tickling my nose as
he relentlessly attacks my neck and throat.

�Squall��I trail off, my voice horse with want and need. All
I want to do is look into those endless grey eyes and determine if this is what
Squall really wants. I feel the soft lips let go of my neck and slowly he
begins to look up at me. A scarlet flush is staining his alabaster cheeks, the
breath passing through his lips rapidly, giving the impression that he just ran
a marathon. But there is something odd about this picture. His cloud eyes are
fixed on me and me alone, but that is not what is unusual.

There is no scar between his eyes.

�The fuck?� I murmur, the euphoria of the sexual high a few
moments ago completely leaving my body.

�Is something wrong?� He asks, a look of confusion on his
face replacing his high.

�Your scar. What the hell happened?� I demand, pushing him
away. I feel his legs unwind, before setting on the floor. He removes his arms
from around my neck and steps back.

�Scar? What scar, Seifer?� he is puzzled by my questions,
that�s for sure. He looks at me with a strange look on his face, almost as if
he doesn�t recognize me.

I curiously raise an eyebrow. �What scar? The same fucking
scar that you gave me a year ago. Why the fuck are you playing dumb with me?� I
growl, the mood completely ruined. To prove a point, I put a finger to my own
nose, running down my own scar, the same way that Squall does when he�s
nervous. But there is a small problem.

I have no scar.

�What the fuck is going on here?� I demand of the brunet,
looking at the rest of his body for the first time since the lights have come
on. Besides the facial scar that is missing, many other scars that he should
have are missing as well. All the odd marks that I had noticed during our fight
months ago are completely gone, the skin no longer flawed, but now in pristine
condition. Almost like when we first got together. I begin to contemplate these
events in my head, when there is a knock on the door behind me.

Squall nods, then gestures at the door. He wants me to open
the door with him standing there butt naked at full mast? Oh, well. It�s his
dignity, not mine. I turn around and step on the sensor pad to open the door�.

Only to fall off the bed.

I shake my head to clear my vision, my hand automatically
reaching up to feel the scar that is indeed still there.

Hyne dammit. It was all just a very, very enjoyable dream.
The knock comes upon my door once again and from my position on the floor, I
just glare at the door, wishing that whoever is at the door will take a hint
and go away. I pick myself up off the floor and take a glance out the window. I
must not have been asleep for that long, because the sun hasn�t even hit its
peek. This also means that I have yet to miss my practice session with the
brats. Great.

Someone knocks at my door for a third time, and with a growl
and a sneer, I walk over to the door and cause it to open. And if my day isn�t
bad enough already, my absolute favourite person in the world is standing there
waiting for me.

A snarl on his face, the dark haired dumbass is standing, unwelcome,
in my doorway. �When someone knocks at your door, you should fuckin� open it.�
He growls with a self assured sense of authority. I guess he doesn�t realize
that I don�t really get along with authoritive figures. Heh.

�If you were wanted here, I might have. But as it stands, I
only answered to tell you to get the fuck out of here.� I put on a mask of
indifference. The last thing I need is for him to think that he frightens me.
Oh, don�t get me wrong, he doesn�t scare me, but it scares the fuck out of me
that something that big, dumb and ugly is able to function. But that is
probably too complicated for him to comprehend. I�ll have to remember to use
only small words.

�Can it, you Hyne-be-damned lapdog. You may have won Squall
over as an ally, but I know that you�ll be showing your fangs to him soon
enough. And then he�ll see you as the worthless fucker that you are.� He stands
up to his full height, and I think that the bastard is trying to intimidate me.
Huh, I guess he doesn�t realize that when you have a maniacally insane
sorceress bent on world domination take over your life, he actually seems quite
pathetic to me. I can�t help but laugh.

�Does your asshole streak come with an on switch? Because
I�m not sure if you�ve frightened the fluffy white kittens yet, fuckface. Now
either tell me whatever you were sent to tell me, or get the fuck away from my
doorway.�

His snarl increases, giving him the impression of a drunken
wendigo, real attractive, I know. Then without warning, Dumbass stretches out
an arm and slams me into the wall, with enough force for me to say that it
might have possibly almost hurt. But I won�t give him that satisfaction. So,
trying to earn a reaction, I offer no resistance.

�Where the fuck is Squall?� the words are dripping with hate
and a weaker person would have crumpled miserably by now, but like hell am I
weak.

Now isn�t this a pleasant turn of events. It seems that the
brunet lion is not only holing himself up from me, but from this bastard as
well.

�Aww, you miss him?� I reply with a sarcastic innocence. I
reach up and grab the wrist that has me pinned to the wall, my hand barely able
to encircle the thick appendage. I give it a quick jerk, not enough to break
it, but enough to cause him to drop the hold that he has on me. I drop to the
floor, but manage to stay standing.

�I know the little bitch was with you the other day in the
elevator. Now where the fuck is he?� Great. He�s a mindless ape with a one track
mind.

I smirk, and then offer a scoff to the black haired man.
�You think that if he was here, I would have answered the door? I�d be fucking
that tight little ass as we speak. �Cause I�ll keep coming back for more of
that ass.�

�Fuck off! He�s my bitch now, and you have caused me nothing
but trouble since you came back. He was so easy to control before. But you�ve
made the little prick develop a fucking backbone. All it used to take was a
little love tap to make him as compliant as a broken horse. Now thanks to you,
I have to teach him his place more often.� Dante growls at me with a sadistic
grin. The rage in his blood coloured eyes plain for anyone to see. Am I hearing
him correctly? Did this bastard just admit to abusing my lion? All I can see is
red, as I lose control over my body and all the hate I could ever possess
channels into my body right now.

Before I know what I am doing, my arm pulls back on what
seems like its own accord, and my fist is flying at his fucking face. I connect
with his check, a little off target, but it has enough force to end him
sprawling into the hallway.

�You mother fucking jackass of a bastard!� I scream in fury
that I have never known myself to have and charge at the bulky man, my fists
held high. Just as I am about to connect with the other side of the bastard�s
face, his foot connects with my knee and I crumble to the floor where he is
sprawled. Heh, bad move on his part. I fly at him once again, attacking
relentlessly, but it seems like I may have finally found an opponent that is
not afraid to fight back. The jackass seems to land as many punches on me as I
land on him. My sanity is lost as I let blind rage dictate my movements. I�ve
lost all track of time, my attention focused on nothing other than the fucker in
front of me, and trying to turn him into a living pulp. I don�t want him dead,
strange enough, I want him alive so he can endure what he has been putting
Squall through. Just as I bring my arm back to throw another punch, a set of
arms are wrapped around my own, and someone with incredible strength holds me
back. I don�t like this turn of events.

�Let go of me!� I snarl, fighting with all my might against
the restraining arms. The person holding me only responds by holding me
tighter.

�Seifer, calm down!� Selphie jumps between myself and Dante,
and seeing her instead of the large bastard, calms my rage slightly, at least
enough to know not to pummel her for getting in the way. �He�s not worth being
kicked out of Garden.� I feel a pulling behind me, and in my stupor, I am
dragged backwards, Selphie being sure to remain in my line of sight. I stop
struggling as much as I am dragged into the dorm room and then ungracefully
shoved onto the bed in a slight heap by my captor, who I am pretty sure must be
Irvine. Selphie follows us into the room and lets the door close behind us.
Oddly enough, the blind rage has faded enough for me to function. I take a deep
breath and Cowboy enters my vision, confirming my assumption before I finally
make a sound.

�Give me one good reason why I shouldn�t give the bastard a
good introduction to Hyperion.� I say through clenched teeth.

�You know he�s not worth it. Besides, you don�t want to get
blood on those nice white walls.� The short brunette smiles at me, but for the
first time that I can remember, it doesn�t reach all the way to her eyes.

�The bastard has been abusing Squall! Of course he fucking
deserves it!� I growl, jumping to my feet, before Irvine shoves me back down with a glare.

�We only just found out about that too, but there are better
ways to address the situation. Ways that won�t result in your dismissal from
Garden.� For a man of almost a few words as Squall, if the cowboy puts any
force behind his words, you listen.

�Irvy�s right. Squall left yesterday. He left a letter
addressed to us telling us everything.� The permanent smile that is forever
gracing Selphie�s features is completely gone. �He just said that he would be
using some of his vacation time and would get in touch with someone soon. And
Squall hasn�t taken some vacation time since just after the Rinoa incident.� A
glimmer of the normal Selphie appears in her eyes momentarily before fading
quickly.

�Rinoa incident?� I ask out of curiosity, in spite of the
situation at hand. The poor girl, Rinoa has been turned into a bit of a Garden
joke, anytime someone does something really stupid, they�ve pulled a Rinoa,
although I have never heard the story of why,

Irvine
lets out a deep chuckle before beginning to recite the story. �After Time
Compression, she was convinced that she and Squall were meant to be together.
You see, Squall told us afterwards that because he was trying to deal with your
disappearance, her bossiness reminded him of you, and so he befriended the
girl. Anyway, to get to the point, although Squall insisted that he was gay and
couldn�t love her, she just wouldn�t let up.� The cowboy just grins and shakes
his head.

�Let me tell it from here, Irvy!� The little imp�s smile has
returned to her. After getting a nod from her boyfriend, Selphie continues the
tale. �Any who. So, Squall gets with, well, you know who, and Rinoa still
doesn�t get off his back. Well, one day, Rinoa decides to give him a wake up
call. When she went into his room, she got an eyeful of him getting and
assfull!� Selphie giggles before going on. �She just stood there and asked why
they were wrestling on the bed!�

And with that, I burst out laughing. �Wrestling?�

�You got it. And all Squall did was glare at her and told
her to �leave him get fucked in peace.� So she comes and tells all of us, and
after we explained, she was so embarrassed, she left and hasn�t been heard from
since.�

That is just too hilarious. �She didn�t understand when I
told her about me, either. I said hello to her once, and I�m surprised that she
didn�t think that I proposed or something.�

�Oh, she did. You should have heard her in when we were Galbadia.�
Selphie giggled.

�As amusing as all this is, it doesn�t help with the current
situation. How the hell are we supposed to help Squall if we don�t know where
he�s gone?� I growl, thoughts of Dante�s ugly mug coming into my thoughts.

The couple in front of me look at one another in complete
seriousness before turning back towards me.

�We�ve taken the case to Headmaster Cid. We�ve all suspected
it for a while, but where he seemed so happy, we weren�t sure. Dante�s been
bugged for a while. And after a little bit of persuasion from Matron and the
letter he left us, and hearing what he told you, Security was on its way down
right behind us. He�s being stripped of his rank and title before being exiled.
He�s no longer welcomed anywhere besides D-District Prison, which is where he
has conveniently been exiled to.� Irvine
says sombrely, Selphie nodding in agreement.

�But that doesn�t help me in finding Squall.� I reply.

�Well�� Selphie trails off as Irvine reaches inside his long duster and
pulls out a white envelope.

�This was with the letter that Squall left for us. We
respected your privacy, so we didn�t read it. But it might have some clues in
it.� With that, Irvine
hands me the letter.

Selphie sends a sad smile towards me, before she pulls at Irvine�s arm and they
leave my room.

I look at the envelope, my name the only thing marking the
white. I take a deep breath, and lift the sealed flap. A single piece of paper
is all that pull out, and it is covered in the compact writing that I
immediately identify as Squalls.

Seifer-
I�m sorry for everything that I have caused you to endure
since you have come back to Garden. Everything is partially my fault. I should
have told you that Dante has been abusing me when we first sparred again at the
cliff. But I was, and still am too proud to ask for your help. I will just end
up alone in the end, and obviously that is the way that it is meant to be. I
really did, and still do love you, no matter how deep your feeling for me ran,
mine have always stayed the same. And to avoid the inevitable hurt, I am
leaving Garden for good, not just on a vacation. I already have another
position lined up, and it is something that I might actually like doing, rather
than something that I just happen to be good at. We made a promise the other
night in the elevator, and forgive me, but I ask that you keep it, please. I�m
not trying to hide my feelings for you, don�t get me wrong. It�s just that now
that you are finally a SeeD, you don�t need the ridicule that will follow you
if people think that you may have slept your way into our ranks. And even at
the risk of sounding selfish, there is one other thing that I must ask of you.
Please do not try to find me. I have issues, most psychological, that I must
take the time to deal with properly. I am not running away, I just believe that
it is what is best for my sanity as well as everyone else�s. As much as I still
care for you and would love to have you as a pillar of support, I need to do
this myself and without the hindrance of emotion. So, I guess this is farewell,
Seifer. Please, never forget that you will always be my true love and my
favourite dirty little secret.
�� Squall.

I gently place the paper down on the bed next to me, my
hands beginning to tremble. Not from love, or any of that other sissy ass shit,
but in pure anger. How dare he leave! How dare he not say goodbye! How dare he tell
me that he still loves me, but not where he is so I can go to him! It�s enough
to make me want to throttle that pretty little pale neck.
But despite the rage that I am feeling, I also feel sorrow.
I am sad to lose him. A single tear slides silently down my cheek, surprising
me. I guess even I didn�t know how deep my feelings run. Maybe, subconsciously,
I do love him. But now I�ll never know. Should I try to go find him? Or do I let
us both move on?

I might be indecisive right now, but there is something that
I know for sure. I will honour his last request of me. He will be my dirty
little secret for as long as I live, the time that we had together worth more
than anything else I could have ever wished for.� �

Is it even worth being a SeeD now? Or did I only come back
to be near Squall? I know the answer to that, and frankly the answer scares the
shit out of me. Maybe I should quite as well, but only time will tell.

But for now, I will keep only my precious memories as a
reminder of what we once had, and eventually I will decide on whether or not I
want o pursue it. To be with him again would be the greatest pleasure I could
ever dream for, but not if he won�t be happy. As much as I want to bring
happiness to myself, if it isn�t what he wants, I would be no better that
Dante.

Therefore, I will wait until I can make a non-selfish
decision and I will cherish the thought of our times together and see what the
future brings.

The End��

Fuck that shit! If you believe that, you should be shot. Now
where the fuck could he be?

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Dirty Little Secret