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A Matter of Spirit	By : gcpeifer Category: Final Fantasy VII > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 824 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 7, neither the story nor anything else (exept my OCs) and I don't make any profit by writing this.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 7, neither the story nor anything else (exept my OCs) and I don't make any profit by writing this.
Author's note: Can't believe it myself - but here's chapter six!
Warnings: Nothing serious, aside from Reno's trauma, Cid's language and a tiny bit of citrus.
Chapter 6: Dealing with the past, a Cadet's Afternoon, and something about SOLDIERS and pets
Lazard looked questioningly at Rufus when he entered the passenger's section only about ten minutes after they started. "Everything ok?", he asked.
"Yes. We're on autopilot now, " said Rufus, kneeling aside of the stretcher where Reno laid and tooking his hand again, "He didn't woke up?"
When Lazard confirmed that Reno was still fast asleep, the VP asked about the other cost savings his father'd decided.
"First thing is, that from now on for all units of the ShinRa army sick days aren't any longer paid if they aren't caused by service for ShinRa. SOLDIER won't be affected by that really much as they hardly ever get sick, but for the cadets and the regulars this measure will be quite hard. As far as the regulars are concerned, no meat, nor poultry or fish are allowed in their cafeteria from now on. The proteins are to be completely replaced by cheap soya products. Eggs are to be replaced by vegetable products as well. But this won't affect the cadets , only the regulars. Concerning the cadets though: from now on the Saturday afternoons aren't any longer free time. Instead classes will take place so the first year training can be reduced from twelve to ten months.
"That's insane! Does he want to demoralize the forces?," Rufus muttered and shook his head pensively: "My father did this on purpose. He knew I had a appointment in the hospital that day and he knew we would have a fight about these cost savings. So he brought up the topic on a day when I couldn't attend the meeting. Gods, the salaries of the regulars are poor enough. I bet some of them only stay in the army because they would have to live on porridge and potatoes under the plate."
Lazard looked curiously at his half-brother: "I wonder what became of that cold bastard old man ShinRa had raised?"
Rufus stroked tenderly Reno's cheek, who was finally stirring: "Love can change your point of view in surprising ways," he took a deep breath," And then...I think the last bit of that bastard died when I saw this bloodstained surgery table with the improvised restraints."
The Director looked at his half-brother: "Rufus, did you ever attend the basic treatments, when the young SOLDIERs get the J-cells implanted and receive their first Mako injections?"
Rufus shook his head: "I knew that this can't be comfortable...But is it that bad?"
"They call the lab-hall the chamber of pain with a reason, " Lazard said, "Just imagine you get your spine pierced at three places, followed by a burning pain when the cells overtake your body and then, when they inject the Mako, it feels like fluid fire in your veins. That's what I was told and I believe it as I saw what happens at the treatments,"
"I never knew this. No, that's not true. I never cared. I think, I'm just learning to become the human being my father never wanted me to be." said the VP.

XXXXXX
About forty minutes later Rude announced that they were approaching Midgard and the VP went again into the cockpit to assist him with the landing. When they left the chopper, Reno was on wobbly feet, but managed to walk with Rufus's help.
Holding with one arm Reno, while he tried to keep with his left hand the ash-blond hair out of his eyes, he shouted in an attempt to drown out the thunderous wind on the roof of the ShinRa building: "I'll send you a message as soon as possible!"
'Which means after he had his talk with Tseng', Lazard thought, nodding. ' No need to speak it out and put our little conspiration at risk. They would need to find hidden ways of communication and safe places for meetings' The Director was already planning ahead when he went to his own apartment.

XXXXXX
When they finally made it to VP's apartment, Rufus lowered his lover carefully on the bed and undressed him.
"Uh, sorry babe, but I don't think I'm in the mood for this right now," slurred the Turk.
"Of course not," smiled his lover, "I'm just bringing you to bed....Please, Reno, tell me what's wrong," said Rufus when Reno winced.
"That's what they told me....always."
"But you know that I'd never do a thing like this to you. You don't do such a thing to a person who you love," murmured Rufus, his heart shattering as he had to watch helplessly when the only person he ever really loved was falling apart before his eyes.
"Always the past comes back and bites you in the ass when you don't expect it. I should have known better. I was happy, for the first time in my life and I felt safe with you. I was so sure that I finally buried my past. But first, there was the baby and then, when I heard the boy crying....You should know, I wasn't born in a hospital. They did it when I was eight...They were holding me down and then there was this greasy old fucker with a scalpel...I was still bleeding when my first customer came!"
Reno reared up, biting his lips to prevent himself from another fit before he calmed down again: "What did they say at the hospital?"
"You're suffering a serious nervous breakdown and probably PTSD."
"Shit", whispered Reno,"When a Turk is injured physically - no problem. But when he looses his marbles - that means retirement. And you know as well like me what this means: a bullet between your eyes.
"No, no, I wouldn't allow anyone to hurt you!"
"Of course you wouldn't, I know this. But it's still your old man who's is in charge of ShinRa, not you."
"Please, Reno, neither myself nor Tseng would allow this!"
"He won't have a choice - just like with Veld..." Reno's voice sounded endlessly tired now, " These are the rules of the Turks..."
Rufus took hold on his lover's arm: " Nothing like this is going to happen. Thanks to Lazard, it looks like we have maybe SOLDIER on our side now. And... if I have to kill my father with my owns hands to keep you safe, I'll do it!"
The doorbell rang. "That's Tseng. Please take your tablet now and try to sleep while Tseng and me are discussing what to do to against my father. Please..." Reno nodded and swallowed obediently the pill Rufus gave him together with a glass of water. Rufus closed his eyes for a moment before he answered the door. That meek gesture of his beloved man made clear to him more than anything else in which state he was.
"Tseng..." The leader of the Turks nodded curtly when he entered the spacious apartment. After Rufus had closed the door behind him, he said: "Rude gave me already a complete rapport about the events in Junon. How is Reno?"
"Sleeping. He was diagnosed with a severe nervous breakdown. I gave hime one of the strong sedatives the doctor in the military hospitaly prescribed."
"I was always afraid this would happen one day. The best Turk I've ever trained - and the most breakable," Tseng shook his head sadly:"He never told me really any details about his past. Only that he was born in that house, called "The Red Lantern" - one of the countless small backyard brothels not even Don Corneo knows about. Three whores, the owner and a bouncer. He stayed there until he was thirteen, then he was able to flee. After that, he lived for three years on his own under the plate : thefts, robberies, streetfights and so on. That's the way I found him."
Rufus decided not to tell Tseng about the cruel details of Reno's experiences," What became of the "Red Lantern?"
"I sent Rude to take care of it - together with a bunch of young Turk trainees. It was a good exercise for them. Officially, a "John" got on a killing spree and set the house on fire after he was finished.
"But that doesn't change Reno's situation. He told me that ....he told me of the rules of the Turks. I know them, of course, but I'd never thought that..."
The leader of the Turks said calmly: " I'd suggest that what both of you will do first thing on the next morning is to fly to your apartment in Costa Del Sol. Reno has still more than enough leave days in his credits. So a two week leave won't be a problem. I have something in mind. But for this, I'm going to need the help of SOLDIER, especially Lazard and Genesis..."
" Oh , by the way, Lazard made a suggestion concerning Reno," said Rufus," He offered the help of a Dr. Martin to councelling Reno..."
Tseng hmmed: "Exellent choice. I wish we had such an luminary psychologist among our own staff. An expert for PTSD. You should accept the offer."
Rufus nodded. "I understand why you want to talk with Lazard. But Genesis ?, "echoed Rufus, Why...?"
"You'll see," Tseng smiled, "I'll send Cissnei, together with Martin to you as soon as I spoke with Deusericius, the General and Rhapsodos. I won't be able to talk to Hewley and Fair as they are on a mission, but this doesn't really matter in this case."
"Very well, Tseng. But at first I have to send a message to the leading medic officer of the military hospital of the regulars in Midgar."
"I see. But he, as well as the leading medical officer from Junon military hospital can send you the statement of cost to Costa Del Sol and you can transfer the payments from there- or not?"
"Sure - but why?", The VP inquired. "Because I want to see both of you in relatively safety for the time being. Parts of the cost-savings go to Scarlett for her "Sister Ray project", parts go to Heidegger for the enlargement of the regular army and even a few breadcrumbs go to Palmer. But the biggest piece of the cake will go to Hojo. And I still don't know what he's planning. It will take time to hack his files - probably months, possibly years - but until then no-one exept your father knows what he's planning- and we have a very threatening situation here."
"And my father? His mental state?" "Please trust me, the Turks will watch him very carefully. And if you allow me a remark, Sir: it was very careless of you to sneak into the files of your fathers personal doctor, " The leader of the Turks smirked, "Please don't do that again."
"Very well, Tseng. I'll behave from now on. So I can await your message in Costa Del Sol?" "Yes, Sir. Good Night, Sir!," and with these words Tseng left Rufus apartment.

XXXXXX
"Meh! Our very last free Saturday afternoon and you have to have your C-day today, " muttered Tommy when he was dealing out cards, sitting at Kris's bed.
The dorm was empty aside of them as Kris was the only member of his squad who was from outside Midgar. So, as Kris had to spend the time in bed, Tommy decided to teach him how to play Poker.
"How was it, by the way?", the boy from under the plate asked.
"Hmm, the worsest part was the injection with the local anesthesia. That really sucked. But after that I decided to close my eyes. I didn't want to watch them carving on my private parts."
His friend bursted with laughing.
"Hey, what's so funny?," growled Kris.
"I bet...,"gasped Tommy, "I bet they carved flower ranks around your dick!"
"Hahah, just what I needed right now....You can't remember when they did it to you?"
"Nah, when you're born in a hospital in Midgar or Junon, they do it as soon as you're slipped out of your mother's belly."
"But well, there's no need that you sit with me all afternoon, When the effect of the local anesthesia is fading and I'll have to take the painkiller, I'll sleep anyway the rest of the day - or so the doctor said."
"But until this's going to happen I'll teach you how to play poker. Believe me, when you're a full grown SOLDIER you'll need it!," replied Tommy, smirking.
Just in this moment the door was smashed open and and extremely exited Kunsel bursted in, accompagnied by a pretty looking Third Class, obviously of Wutaian origin.
Kunsel called: "Ho! Ho! Ho! Happy C-day!"
"Uh, hi Kunsel, really nice that you pay a visit to me. But I'm afraid I have to take the painkillers very soon,"gasped Kris when he felt a slight sting in his neither regions.
"No way, " called Kunsel, swinging his materia armlet,
"Today we're going to Sheng's restaurant as they're having their 'All you can eat day' today. And I'm planning to take you guys out to mark the occasion. There's no way you're going to spent your last free Saturday afternoon in bed! And, Oh, by the way, this is Ken, my friend - and much more than that," said Kunsel, giving Ken a slight hug.
"You mean, you want to perform a cure on me???", asked Kris amazed, " I 've never saw before someone performing magic!"
"There's a first time for everything," said Kunsel cheerfully, "Now toss off the planket and let the cure do it's work."
When Kris hesitated, Kunsel and his compagnion grinned and he said: "Oh, c'mmon, I'm pretty sure you've got nothing we didn't seen before."
And true, when Kris watched with fascination how Kunsel's hand glowed in an eery shine, he forgot all of his embarrassment. A slight feeling of warmth - and it was over in a couple of seconds.
"Now get up, take a shower and dress up. The Wutaian chicken, the spare-ribs and the Wan-Tan are waiting for us. ....Oh, and by the way...You should wait with removing the gauze until you are under the shower, when it's thoroughly soaked.
While Kris was showering and trying to get used to the sight of his redesigned - now bicolored! - dick ( Aah, it seemed they had cut off at least half of the skin!), Kunsel and Ken decided to teach Tommy how to equip materia.
Fifteen minutes later Tommy was panting and covered in sweat.
"Huh, what did you do to him?," asked Kris when he came in again, " Looks like you did at least two hundred push-ups."
"He tried to equip a materia, " smiled Ken, " Don't worry, Tommy! Most of us spend at least one or two weeks with dayly training until we can do it without any difficulties."
"You want to try it too?,"queried Kunsel, grinning mischeviously at Kris.
"Yes, yes, absolutely! So, how it's done?" Kris was more than eager to try it out.
"The most important ability to do magic is visualisation, "Kunsel explained, " So, in case of equipping a materia, I always found that the most easy way to do it is to imagine that the orb is changing into a drop of viscous fluid which flows slowly into the slot."
Kris nodded eagerly and took the bracelet and the green orb from Kunsel's hands. He closed his eyes when his fingers closed around the orb, it felt warm in his hand, even slightly hot, but not in a unpleasant way.
"Is it a Fire?, "he asked.
"Very good! Yes, it is a first level fire, " said Kunsel calmly, "Now try!"
Kris closed his eyes again and imagined how the hard green orb was changing into a honey-like substance. Slowly the orb changed into a drop and the drop grow longer and longer...and then in was settled in the slot of the bracelet, changed again into the solid orb it was before.
"What the heck....?!, " gasped Kunsel, " You made it on your very first try! And obviously without any effort!"
Tommy and Ken looked at him with big eyes.
"I...I just did, what you told me to do. I changed the orb into a kind of honey and then then it simply flowed into the slot..."
The Second Class nodded and smiled: "You did very well, Kris. But now, let's go to Sheng's and fill our empty stomachs."
'This, for sure, was something Genesis would be interested to hear about. Until now, aside from his outstanding ability to focus on a problem and to make instinctively the right decisions, well, the achievements of the boy were ok, but nothing exceptional. He would make a good Third Class,he was intelligent, his abilities in sword work and hand-to-hand were satisfactory, but he didn't show any promise to make it into a higher class - which would exclude him from the mentorship program.'
"OK, guys, let's hit the train to sector three, before at Sheng's only rice and noodles are left for us!"

XXXXXXX
Thirty minutes later all of them took seat in a cosy Wutaian restaurant, their plates filled with loads of meat and vegetables. Giant bowls with rice and noodles were on every table, kept warm with hot plates.
"Sir, " muttered Tommy after he swallowed a bite of pork and looked at Kunsel, "May I ask a question?"
"Sure, but please call me Kunsel. So, what is it?"
"Well...Sir...I mean Kunsel...By no means I want to sound disrespectful. But as far is I could see, well it seems to me that most of the SOLDIERs are...," and here Tommy lost his courage, "Is it true that the Mako changes you in...that way...I mean like you and Ken?"
Kunsel looked helplessly at his lover who grinned at him challenging: "Yeah, love, you accepted the question and now you're obliged to give an proper anwer," Ken smirked.
Kunsel harrumphed. "Ok. Actually they are telling you these things right before you sign the actual contract for SOLDIER. But I don't see any harm when I explain it already now to you," again he paused, "Soo, ummh, no, Tommy. It hasn't anything to do with the Mako or the J-cells - at least not directly," after that he continued, " I guess that you know already that there are three kinds of guys...heteros, bisexuals and gays. Most people think that heteros are the majority, but I know for a fact, that the bisexuals are the majority, only most of them doesn't know about it - or doesn't want to know it."
"Oh, please come to the point, "grinned Ken.
"Ok,ok, " sighed Kunsel and continued seriously, " There are two problems with SOLDIERs: First is: You know that even a Third Class is at very least two or three times stronger an a sturdy average man?"
The boys nodded. "So when you're doing it with a woman, you have to be very careful. I don't won't to make you afraid, but at the beginnings of SOLDIER, there were some very...nasty...accidents. Broken bones and worser. So, if you want to sleep with a woman, there isn't any other choice for you than to stay passive. Kneel, take a seat or lay down flat on your back and then let the woman do all the work - or you endanger your girl's health. OK. So far so good. Second problem is the way how SOLDIER works: in contrast to the regulars, we rarely work in big troop units, the war in Wutai had been a rare exeption to this. So, we usually go on missions in small units from two to maximal seven men and - most important - we have to be on standby nearly all the time - exept if we're on vacancies. Often it's a question of a couple of hours when the next mission begins And there are hardly any women who like to live like this. Sooo.....,"
Kunsel took a deep breath, "Yes, we have heteros among us. A couple of them were lucky enough to find incredibly patient women. Others go one time a week to the the Honeybee Inn, where some of the girls are specialized in doing SOLDIERs.
Bust most of us end up with discovering the advantages of a friendship with benefits - with your comrades. They're always there for you, they understand you...and so on. And some of us, who are really lucky, are finding true love that way.
But whatever way you'll choose: you should know that the enhancements make you infertile. Not impotent - more on the contrary, Kunsel snickered, but infertile. Which means if you accept the treatments, you'll never have children on your own."
"Thank you for your honest answer, Kunsel," said Tommy, " It's ok for me. All I ever wanted to do is to care for my little sister. I don't want to have children of my own - I'm rather looking forward to see one day my little nieces and nephiews... And concerning the other thing - , " he smiled, " I think I can manage to live with meeting the Honeybee girls at the weekends."
"And you Kris ?, " asked Ken. Kris snickered, already slightly tipsy from the three cups of Sake he'd consumed: " I think, SOLDIER is perfect for me. I can't even remember ever being interested in girls," he said and hickupped.
Kunsel and Ken laughed heartily: " Well then, congratulations! You're fourteen, aren't you?"
When Kris nodded, Ken said: "In most parts of the continents sixteen is the age of consent. In the Grasslands too?" Kris nodded again and Ken smiled: "Then I'm sure a goodlooking guy like you won't have any difficulties to find a boyfriend here when you'll reach your age of consent."
The boy from the Grasslands looked at Kunsel's lover : "Ken, may I ask you a question too?" When Kunsel's lover gave him a slight nod, Kris asked: " Is it true that in Wutai they don't have an age of consent?"
Ken tilted his head: " We don't have a number which marks this age, that's true. But in no way sex with children is allowed. When I was thirteen, I witnessed the execution of a man who raped a small boy. Wasn't a nice sight, I can tell you that. The man had screamed for more than an hour. But I didn't had a choice. Every man, from us teenagers up to the very old men were forced to watch it, " Ken's face was very earnest now, " So, to answer your question... in fact, we have a stage of consent. You know, every boy needs his own time to grow up... Some of them are fully matured with thirteen, some aren't ready before they are seventeen. So, we in Wutai, determine a boy's maturity by his physical developement. And in case of doubt, a healer determines if the boy is mature or not."
It was long past "lights out" when they returned to the barracks, but somehow Kunsel managed to cover up for them. He said to the guards something about their "leisure time activities" - obviously Kunsel knew everything about everybody at the base - and they let them pass without any further comments.
After they delivered the meanwhile fully drunken Tommy in his dorm, Kunsel and Ken brought Kris into dorm No. 5. When they helped him into his bed, unnoticed by the other nine snoring cadets, Kunsel handed Kris over a small brown paperbag : "Umh, now that you're circumcised, you'll find this useful when you're busy with yourself - or somebody else, " he muttered and and disappeared together with Ken.
Kris was still sober enough to open the bag. He took out the small black bottle and read what was printed on it: "Wet Lube". Oh. Even in his Sake intoxication Kris realized what the content of the bottle was for. He decided to try it out tomorrow in one of the cabins of the restroom, as long as his squad was asleep.

XXXXXXXXX
Some days later, near Rocket-Town Zack and Angeal crawled through the underbrush of the small copse of pines twenty miles west of the city limits of Rocket town. They were well prepared: their Ice-resistant armor was equipped and both of them had mastered poison materia at hand.
"You really think we'll find it here?", Zack whispered.
Angeal shrugged: "It's worth a try. We'd already searched in most of the caves of the western ridge and the last farmer we asked said he saw it fly towards this direction. And if there are no eligible caves available then Ice dragons sometimes choose clearings in boreal forests for sleeping places. But if we aren't lucky here...," the Commander was interrupted by a low hiss.
Angeal grinned: "That's it ! Like we discussed , I will cast first a Bio 3 and you attack with your sword, then we will change, until it's defeated. Is your Poison ready?"
"Of course! Man, I'm no longer a helpless puppy!", Zack hissed. Angeal smiled whistfully.
His puppy - and lover - had grown into a fully serviceable First Class Soldier. Then they got sight of the dragon. It was a big female, but instead of being plain blue, it had some violet spots at it's side. The fight had been shorter than the SOLDIERs anticipated. The beast seemed to act relatively slow and sluggish. After Angeal's third attack with the Poison materia, Zack managed to finish it off with his junior Buster Sword. After the dragon had dissolved into the Lifestream and both of the fighters had catched their breat again, Zack gasped: " That's been quite easy. Probably she was stuffed with prey."
"Not only that...,"said Angeal and pointed at a heap of twigs and leafes, " She was building a nest."
"Shit, that means...,"
"There could be a male somewhere around here. But for now, we should head back. We need to re-equip our armour and our materia." When they were on their way back to Rocket Town - this time choosing a small path instead of crawling through the underbrush, they found a den of Bandersnatches - or what was left of it.
It looked like the female had bravely tried to defend her cubs, but all her efforts were without success. The remains of the mother and their cubs laid astrewn in the destroyed den.
It was a strange fact, that if a monster attacked a monster, the corpse of the inferior creature wouldn't dissolve into the Lifestream.
"So that was her last lunch," said Angeal, "No wonder she was so gorged."
Zack tilted his head: "Do you hear that?" There was a low howling coming from one of the hedges behind the den.
Before Angeal could stop him, Zack ran to the bush. A moment later he reappeared with a whimpering grey bundle of fur in his arms.
"Look, one of the cubs survived! Oh, please can we keep it?"
The older SOLDIER frowned and took a closer look at the young Bandersnatch: "NO, we can't! It's a Bandersnatch, not a puppy. It's spurting already the first traces of his golden mane, which means it needs it's mother's milk only additional to the meat she would provide. But It's still too young to care for itself. Please set it down, Zack. We should put it out of it's misery."
And he drew the Buster Sword.
"No, Angeal, It's just a baby! You can't kill a baby, even it's a Bandersnatch!"
"Zack, my love, we can't keep it! It's a wild animal and in six or seven months it will have grown to the size of an adult panter!"
Zack shook his head stubbornly, the little Bandersnatch whimpered pitiously and snuggled his head into Zack's throat and Angel was confronted with two pairs of puppy eyes, a blue pair which seemed to be ready to break out in tears at any time and a golden pair which just looked fearfully.
'Oh...what the hell.' As hard as he was fighting the feeling, the warrior felt his heart melting. The love of his life and that little helpless being, seemingly begging for it's life after it had to watch the death of his mother and his siblings.
'DAMN!' Angeal pointed at Zack: "YOU will take care of....of...,"
"His name is Fang," added Zack helpfully.
"Fang. Well, YOU will take care of Fang. And YOU will have to explain to Captain Highwind why we brought a Bandersnatch back from a Dragon's hunt. And as soon as we arrive in Midgar, we'll try to find a zoo which is willing to adopt it!" Zack grinned and took out of his emergency pack the foldable backpack.

XXXXXXXXX
One hour later they sat in the kitchen of Captain Cid Highwind. Although he owned actually a real bureau, he preferred to use his kitchen as his semi-official office. Most discussions were dissolved more quickly and in a much more comfortable way with a cup of tea and a simmering teapot in the background and Shera preparing some hotch-pot or whatever she decided to cook..
"So, did you get dat fucking beast who tried to eat my airship?" he asked while he raised his eybrows, looking at the younger SOLDIER who carried his backpack,,, backwards...forewards...what the hell.
Weird - this way that thing looked nearly like a baby carrier.
The rumors that Mako did strange things to the SOLDIERs brains were probably true. He deemed himself lucky that he never decided to take part in that crazy stuff.
"Well, that depends on how you look at it," answered Commander Hewley.
"Whadde fuck do you mean by that, man?"
"The Dragon who attacked your airship...Can you remember if it had any violet dots at the side of his body?"
"Nah! t'was just a plain blue Ice dragon. Why?"
"Well, we killed a dragon, but it was a female with the spots I just mentioned. And there's even more to it than that. When we killed her, she was just building a nest."
"Fuck! Fuckety fuck! You mean, that means there's more than one of them around?", Cid cursed.
Angeal nodded: "Yes. And the worsest thing is that the hunting grounds of the male dragons are much larger than the ones of the females. The dragon which attacked you could have easily his sleeping place three-hundred miles away from here. Is your airship ready ?"
"Tomorrow I'll have her fully fixed. What you're planning? A round-trip?"
"Something of that kind," nodded the Commander." It'll be much easier to discover tracks from the air. Lieutenant Fair will stay here to keep sure that no attacks are happening around Rocket Town while we are on our search mission."
"That's what I'll call a good plan, Hewley! The Highwind will be ready at latest at tenhundred, " Highwind said.
And exactly that was the moment Fang choose to stick out his head of the backpack, howling, deciding it was definitely time for a meal.
"WHAT THE HELL !", shouted Highwind.
Angeal covered his face, sighing.
"It's just a baby Bandersnatch , Sir, "piped Zack up, "He won't do any harm to anyone."
Before Cid could give anymore of his nasty comments, Shera cooed: " Ooh, you should let him out! He looks like he needs some milk." And she hurried over to the cupboard, fetching a bowl and filled it with the milk which was kept warm in a pot at the side of the oven.
"SHERA ! THAT'S THE MILK FOR MY FUCKING TEA! , " thundered Cis, but his wife, used to ignore the outbursts of her husband (as well as the falling mirror over the wash-bowl, shattering in thousend pieces - the third one for this year) put the bowl on the floor and Fang sniffed curiously at it. It took him just a few seconds to figure out how to sip the milk.
"Isn't he smart?," Zack smiled. Cid and Angeal groaned.
"OK," said Cid, "For my part you can keep that little monster. But I demand that it gets an collar and and leash. If I ever catch it without the leash, I swear, my harpoon will it pierce faster than you can say stop!"
"And where can I get that stuff?," asked Zack timidly.
"Go to Matty the leatherworker. He lives three houses on the left. He should be able to improvise something. But hurry up. He's an early sleeper!"

XXXXXXXX
A couple of hours later Angeal and Zack were lying in their comfortable bed in the 'Old Rocket's Inn'. They were spooning with each other, their tongues dancing the eternal waltz which was elder than the time.
Then Fang who slept fitfully on his blanket until then, started to yowl. He didn't left it at that. Minutes later he was scratching at the door.
"Yes, my puppy, now it's time to pull your duty! A Bandersnatch never soils it's den. So....get the leash and take him for a walk."
Zack was peeved at this. He had put a long day behind him, killed a dragon, was tired - and in spite of all, he was needy for his lover.
"Oh, Fang! You're so clever or not? Why can't you simply learn to use a bathroom? It's not that complicated, believe me!"
After fifteen minutes - Fang seemed to be quite delicate about where to put his dump, and there where several places he just had to mark with a dash here and there, until they approached the sheep pen of Mr. Eastwood. "C'mmon, Fang! This is the perfect place!" And for once, Fang seemed to agree with Zack. The dump he left was...impressive, to say at least.

XXXXXXXXX
The next morning, Angeal and Zack were eating their breakfast while Fang was resting peacefully under the table,
Mr. Eastwood entered the inn, carrying a big dirty plastic sack, definitely bloodstained.
Zack's eyes grew big: " I can ensure you, Mr. Eastwood, that Fang didn't harm any of your sheeps. He was all the night with us. I just went one time out to take him for a walk, you know? But he never was alone."
"Yeah, yeah, " muttered the farmer, " Never claimed that. In fact cause your little monster there, " he pointed with the tip of his boot at Fang," We had the first peaceful night for weeks now. The wolfes don't dare to come when they smell Bandersnatch's shit. Here, in the sack are some goodies for your little beast. Of course he can shit around my farm as much as he want."
And with these words the farmer left. Minutes later Zack had led Fang into the backyard, where the Bandersnatch cub was munching happily on a sheep's head. The young First Class grinned: " Hey that's a pretty cool way to earn one's livelihood! Now I know for sure that you're a smart boy!"
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A Matter of Spirit