Adult-FanFiction.org : Final Fantasy

Insanity	By : Naniris Category: Final Fantasy VIII > General Views: 611 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Insanity
- 2-Denial
- 3-Masks
- 4-Reaction
- 5-Dreams
- 6-Misunderstanding
- 7-Voice
- 8-Cruelty
- 9-Overwhelmed
- 10-Childhood
- 6
- 7
- 8
This is a SeiferxZell yaoi and if you don�t like it don�t read it.
Disclaimer: Not mine now, tomorrow or ever.
��talking
~�~thoughts
{�}memories
Italics Zell�s self-preservation
&thing, except the rape�.Why?....Listen, you put yourself into this shit-pile
when you ignored me about Squall, so now I have to get you out�But why not
the rape?... Men don�t get raped, only
women�. That�s not� Just do what I
tell you. That guy nearly died and he would have if it wasn�t for me� Nida�Yes, Nida. So do exactly what I tell you, so it won�t happen
again.~

�Zell, are you with me? Zell, come back.� }

Turning on the lights, he squint his eyes until they grew
accustomed to the brightness. The living room and kitchen were even more
impeccable than the bedroom. To the side was a small bathroom with only a
toilet and a sink. Every SeeD was supposed to have an
apartment like this one, but cutbacks and a reconstruction in some parts of the
Garden forced many to share with roommates. Luckily for him, he had special
privileges.

In the spotless kitchen there was a lack of any food with
nutritional value. �Chips and hotdogs.� His stomach
rumbled, but he just stood in front of the food. ~What are you waiting for?~ �I�m not that hungry, I�ll eat the chips.� ~You haven�t eaten for nearly two days,
remember? You didn�t have dinner with Quistis and
you�ve been sleeping the rest.� So?.... Eat the fucking hotdogs�.they remind me
of�..stop whining~

Dumping several wieners into some boiling water, he returns
to his room to find something to wear. A simple white T-shirt and a pair of
black slacks seem like the best choice. ~I don�t want to draw attention�.I�m sure that tattoo on your face, your
spiky blond hair or your world famous stature will be hidden by clothes�.Shut
up~

The alarm clock blinked 12:16pm.
At the table next to a glass of milk and some chips was a plate of steaming
hotdogs. Plump, red, juicy hotdogs; Zell�s favorite.
Holding a fork and knife in each hand he sat there, silently still. Inside was
another matter. ~Eat it now�..I don�t
want to�.You think I�m going to let you
starve�.I can�t eat them�..There�s nothing
else here�.. Then I�ll go to the Cafeteria�.At lunch hour! You only have half an hour before the meeting�..Either
I won�t eat or I won�t go�..Stop being a
baby�..Stop ordering me around~

A blinking 12:43pm
could be seen in the shadows of the room. In the kitchen sat a young man with a
disgusted face. He was staring at a plate of coldeasyeasy hotdogs. Next to it
was an empty glass and a bag filled with potato crumbs. The knife and fork were
settled on the table, as clean as they were an hour ago.
~If I could hit you on
the back of the head, I would�.I�m nthing, except the rape�.Why?....Listen, you put yourself into this shit-pile
when you ignored me about Squall, so now I have to get you out�But why not
the rape?... Men don�t get raped, only
women�. That�s not� Just do what I
tell you. That guy nearly died and he would have if it wasn�t for me� Nida�Yes, Nida. So do exactly what I tell you, so it won�t happen
again.~

�Zell, are you with me? Zell, come back.� }

Turning on the lights, he squint his eyes until they grew
accustomed to the brightness. The living room and kitchen were even more
impeccable than the bedroom. To the side was a small bathroom with only a
toilet and a sink. Every SeeD was supposed to have an
apartment like this one, but cutbacks and a reconstruction in some parts of the
Garden forced many to share with roommates. Luckily for him, he had special
privileges.

In the spotless kitchen there was a lack of any food with
nutritional value. �Chips and hotdogs.� His stomach
rumbled, but he just stood in front of the food. ~What are you waiting for?~ �I�m not that hungry, I�ll eat the chips.� ~You haven�t eaten for nearly two days,
remember? You didn�t have dinner with Quistis and
you�ve been sleeping the rest.� So?.... Eat the fucking hotdogs�.they remind me
of�..stop whining~

Dumping several wieners into some boiling water, he returns
to his room to find something to wear. A simple white T-shirt and a pair of
black slacks seem like the best choice. ~I don�t want to draw attention�.I�m sure that tattoo on your face, your
spiky blond hair or your world famous stature will be hidden by clothes�.Shut
up~

The alarm clock blinked 12:16pm.
At the table next to a glass of milk and some chips was a plate of steaming
hotdogs. Plump, red, juicy hotdogs; Zell�s favorite.
Holding a fork and knife in each hand he sat there, silently still. Inside was
another matter. ~Eat it now�..I don�t
want to�.You think I�m going to let you
starve�.I can�t eat them�..There�s nothing
else here�.. Then I�ll go to the Cafeteria�.At lunch hour! You only have half an hour before the meeting�..Either
I won�t eat or I won�t go�..Stop being a
baby�..Stop ordering me around~

A blinking 12:43pm
could be seen in the shadows of the room. In the kitchen sat a young man with a
disgusted face. He was staring at a plate of cold, greasy hotdogs. Next to it
was an empty glass and a bag filled with potato crumbs. The knife and fork were
settled on the table, as clean as they were an hour ago.
~If I could hit you on
the back of the head, I would�.I�m not eating that�..You have to leave in less than ten minutes to make it on time�..Good,
I don�t have time to eat this crap�.Bullshit,
you�ve eaten twice this much in less time�..I�ll eat later.~

12:54pm blinked
away in the dark. The kitchen sparkled and next to the sink were a clean plate
and a glittering glass next to some utensils. In the trash, several dirty, oily
and pale red sausages lay next to a crumpled bag of chips. Next to the door, a
starving SeeD marked the code as his stomach grumbled
loudly. ~You�re going to regret this�.A
couple of hours isn�t long�..Sure it
isn�t.~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
�Zell isn�t here yet.� Rinoa wrung
her hands compulsively while staring at the clock on the wall. �It�s already
five minutes after one. Where is he?�

�Don�t worry� Bent forward, Squall held his forehead in his
hand. Even though he was worried about his comrade, all he could think about
was yesterday. ~Goddamn, short-tempered, arrogant asshole. Everybody�s
defending that jerk. When Zell gets here, I�ll find
out what that bastard really did to deserve a broken arm. He better hope I
don�t catch him around.~

�Mr. Dincht should be around
shortly. Have you and Ms. Trepe thought about what
you�re going to say?� The older woman stood next to the door. She disliked the
room for its plainness. The bright lights and bare walls were disquieting. It
felt empty and wasn�t the best place to treat people�s problems, yet her office
was too small and any other place wasn�t private enough.

�We have, doctor. I�ll tell him my experience in Time
Compression�I wanted to get it off my chest anyway.� A few loose strands of her
blond hair lay in front of her eyes, but it didn�t bother her. She didn�t care
about it anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Damn it I�m late�.Hmm.
I wonder why? ....Shut up~ After nearly crashing
into several cadets, he still ran as fast as he could.

~I thought you didn�t
want attention�.Shut up already. If you say one�~ �Shit!
Look out!� Skidding on the polished floor, he knocks down an unsuspecting
bystander and countless files and papers fly into the air.

�Man, I�m sorry. Are you alright?� Rubbing the back of his
head, Zell could feel a bump. �Ow�

�I�m okay. What about you?� The victim of the collision was
picking up the papers next to him and looked quite embarrassed by the staof
of
a small crowd near the entrance of the Quad. �You had a nasty fall.�

�I�ll survive�hey, you�re Nida.�
The small blond began picking up files quickly and ended up making a bigger
mess. �Oh man, I�m sorry for this�and for the other night.�

�No, don�t be. It wasn�t your fault.� They both stood up and
gave each otnervnervous glances. �I�m fine, don�t worry.�

Looking at the ceiling, at the couple of students walking
by, at his loose shoelaces, Zell felt desperate to
say something. He rubbed the back of his neck and bobbed on his heels. ~WhatdoIsaywhatdoIsaywhatdoIsay�.Anything, just don�t stand there like an idiot�..I nearly killed
him and he isn�t angry�.So he�s a good
guy�..I have to give him something.~

�Do you want to have lunch with me tomorrow?.....You know, tell jokes and childhood stories, well the
little bit I remember anyway.� Anxiously blurting it out, he closed his eyes
shut.

�R-really, s-s-sure.� The lonely
pilot�s ears perked up and he almost dropped all of his documents.

�I mean if you don�t want to, I completely understand. I
just wanna get to know you better, maybe be
friends�.did jus just say sure?� Slowly opening his eyes he saw the happiest
smile he could ever imagine.

�Y-yeah, sure. How
about tomorrow at uh�twelve?� ~He remembers my name and he wants to get
to know me better. Maybe my luck�s turning around.~

�Twelve�s good. I have to go. I�m already late to meet my
friends.� Feeling better than he had for days, Zell
patted Nida on the shoulder and continued to run down
the hallway. �See you later, bye.�

�Bye.� Precariously balancing his files, he waves joyfully.

�So you got a date with Hyper-boy tomorrow.� Leaning against
the rail, a tall, light-brunette man scowled at him. �I thought you said you
weren�t gay.�

Surprised to hear his roommate�s voice, the Asian man drops
a couple of documents, but remains calm. �It isn�t a date. However, better him
than you.�

�Tch� Gary
crossed his arms and glared in Zell�s general
direction. ~Nida�s mine. Only mine.
He just hasn�t realized it yet. I�ll show him that I�m the only person that
acknowledges his existence. I�m the only one that sees him.~
�I�m going to the library.�

�Go to wherever you want.� Several papers had been stepped
on already as Lunch hour ended and the hallways were filling up with cadets
rushing to their classes. ~Damn it, I have to reprint these. Fucking Gary�s
fault, if I could change him for anybody else as a roommie,
I would have, but Headmaster Cid always said: �Learn to deal with your
comrades� differences in battle and in life.� I�m sure he wouldn�t last a day
with that arrogant asshole. I would love to punch�.~ �Ahhh, shit�

�Hey, loser. Get out of the way.� A
group of preteens starte lau laugh and snicker as all the documents were
spilled onto the floor once again. �I almost tripped on your sorry ass.�
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
�Here it is; the Infirmary and only ten minutes late.� Standing next to the door, Zell just stood there. ~You
go into the room now�..what am I going to say?......Depends on their questions��I don�t
think I can do this��Yes you can. Just
say what I tell you to say and everything will be alright.~

�Ok, here goes nothing.� Upon entering the room he sees
everyone�s faces. Rinoa looks jittery, Squall seems to be angry and Quistis felt indifferent. ~Shitshitshitshitshitshit�..Calm the fuck down, NOW��They�re mad�..No, they�re not. Sit in the fucking chair,
stop whining and control yourself.~

�How do you feel today, Mr. Dincht?�
Standing next to him Kadowaki offered a kind smile.

�Oh�uh�fine�didn�t see you there�I�ll sit down now.�
Avoiding everyone eyes he sat down between Quistis
and Rinoa, and stared at his balled-up fists on his
lap. ~One step at a time.~

�Hi, Zell�

�Hi, Rinoa�

�Hello, Zell�

�Hello, Quistis.�

�Zell�

�Squall�

��
��
��
��

�I see that everyone here is uncomfortable at the moment.
The situation you have been put in has strained your relationship with each
other, but I know that all of you care for the well-being of your friends.� The
oldest in the room sat down next to Squall and clamped her hands together. �You
don�t have to say something you don�t feel like saying. However the best way to
help each other is to speak about your experience and show that nobody here is
alone in their suffering.�

�I-I�ll start.� Raising her hand timidly, the small brunette
spoke in a quiet voice. �I�ve been thinking about it all night.�

�Very well, Ms. Heartilly; you may
commence.� Everyone in the room looked
up at her, the first to break the ice.

�When we were fighting against Ultimecia,
Quistis was taken away by this little angel. I
got�scared�but Squall said that we�ll get her back once we defeated the
sorceress�.Soon after I was knocked out.� Rinoa stared at the white wall, so
she could focus on something other than the people listening attentively to
her. �When I woke up I was in Galbadia city, it was
sunny and �..�

{Walking along the busy streets, Rinoa stood next to store
windows admiring all the clothes and merchandize to be found inside.

�That dress is sooooo pretty.� A
younger looking and more innocent Asian girl stared back at her in the
reflected glass. �Can I get it?�

Trailing behind was a lanky teenager, only a couple of years
older than her. He was carrying several boxes and could barely see above them
all. �Come on. You already bought six. I wanna go to
the comic store.�

�If I buy this one, I�ll have a dress for each day of the
week. Besides Zone, the only thing you look at is Naughty magazines.� Placing
her hands on her hips and pouting angrily, she reprimanded him. �Those things will
rot your mind.�

�Give him a break, Princess.� Another teen stood next to the
over-baggage mule. �He�ll never see any of that in real life.�

�Thanks a lot, Watts.� He grumbled
while gritting his teeth. �How �bout giving me a hand with
these, huh?�}

�It was exactly like a couple of summers before�I met
Squall.� Pulling a handkerchief out of her pocket she sniffed lightly. �That
was the summer I met Seifer, but�then�everything
changed.�

{Joyfully skipping along, the young Princess enjoyed the sun
in her face. Her hair flowed in the wind and she couldn�t help humming her
mother�s song. Behind her though, two loyal servants carried her majesty�s
packages hoping not to trip into anything.

�Riiiinoaaaaa, you can carry
something!� Watts whined while he felt his knees buckle
at every step.

�I�ll get someone to help.� She crossed her arms and scanned
the crowds until her eyes fell on a tall, green eyed, blonde beauty. �I bet you
he can carry everything by himself.�

�Just get him here then if he�s so strong.� Sore arms and a even sorer back was enough reason for Zone to find a
replacement.

�I�m going, I�m going.� She approached the stranger who was
looking into the Weapons shop. Inside was a costly sword, with a handle like a
gun. �Excuse handsome, but my two friends over there need help carrying a
couple of boxes.�

�Really?� The stranger towered over
her. He placed his gloved hand on the glass; behind he could read the weapon�s
name.

�I�m sure a big, strong guy like you can carry all of them, soooo will you please help them? Pretty
please with sugar on top.� Giving
him the best Puppy-eyes she could muster, she continued to pester the
green-eyed giant. �Or are you just a big meany?�

The glass next to her shattered and the Hyperion was taken
out of its velvet casing. �I think I�m a big meany.�

�What are you doing? You shouldn�t be stealing that.� Rinoa
grabbed his arm and pouted again. �Return it at once and pay the owner for the
window.�

A pair of arms grabbed her from behind and pulled her away
from the menacing figure. �Damn it Rinoa! This guy�s a psycho. Run away!� Watts
pulled her up and started to run.

�I thought you wanted help, Princess.� Grinning madly he
strode calmly. �You always want help, don�t you?�

Looking around her, she still didn�t understand what was
going on. Everything turned grey and the crowds of people were now motionless
shadows. The only sounds were her beating heart and Watts�
and Zone�s footsteps. She was paralyzed with fear and couldn�t run on her own.
Suddenly a low laugh filled the alleyways and the streets.

�You�re never could defend yourself. Always needed others,
huh, Rinoa?�

�Back off man! She never did
anything to you.� Zone stood unsurely in the middle of the street. The voice
was coming from all directions.

�Your princess is a sorceress and you�re her Knights.
Doesn�t that bother you?� The disembodied voice seemed louder than before.
Rinoa clung onto Watts� vest tightly; tears streaming
from her face.

�What the fuck are you talking about? Rinoa can�t be a sorceress;
she�s too good for that.� Feeling his stomach clench impulsively, he stood
there afraid. His heart racing, he waited for a response, until he noticed a
shadow looming over him.

�ZONE!!!�Behind you!� Rinoa lifted her eyes when Watts
screamed, only to see the ominous warrior raise his blade and strike down on
the paralyzed teen.

�I�ll free you from servitude, too. You won�t have to follow
her orders any longer.� Walking slowly in their direction, he dragged the
blood-coated tip on the ground.

�Rinoa�stand up and RUN!!!�
Forcing her to follow him, Watts ran down alleyways
between buildings, trying to lose his pursuer. �I never should have left Dollet.�

�H-he k-k-killed Zone, he k-kill-ed
Zone.� Her hair was sticking to her face and she could barely see. �W-why?�

�I don�t know.� Her savior stopped in a dark alley and
looked around. �I think we lost him.�

�Look, o-over there.� Amongst the silhouettes was a small
girl jumping rope. Her hair was black like a raven�s feather and flowed down
and up each time she jumped.

�Hey, kid�kid! Get out of the street.� Whispering and
hissing as loudly as he could Watts fought the urge to
run out and grab the child. �I don�t think she can hear me.�

As though those were the secret words, the young girl turned
stopped playing. She turned her head and smiled sweetly. Her golden-brown eyes
were mystifying. Feeling allured to walk towards the eight year old, Watts
let go of Rinoa. But the sound of boots broke him out
of his stupor. �Run away kid�he�s a bad guy.�

The Hyperion placed casually on his shoulder glinted in the
gray fog. The raven-hairedld bld barely reached his stomach. �One two, Who are you?�

�S-shut up, you little bitch.� The young girl only laughed
at this. �S-stop i-it.�

�Three four, I�m on the floor.� She started to giggle and
sat on the ground. �Five six, Time will never fix.�

�Stop it!!....I don�t want to�AAHhhhhhhhhh.�
The older teen clutched his head with one hand and his gunblade
with the other.

�Seven eight, He�s filled with hate.� The girl stood up
again and hugged his midsection, tightly.

�No�� He lifted the blade and pointed it at the child�s
neck.

�Nine ten, always�ugh.�
Her neck pierced by the tip of the blade, she stopped singing. She let him go
and walked a few steps backwards, while blood flowed from her wound and stained
her white dress. �You kan�t kill me, you kan�t kill me, you kan�t kill me�.�

�Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!!.� He
cut her down and started to stab the corpse, except the corpse spoke. �You kan�t kill
me, you kan�t kill me�.�

�You monster, she was just a kid.� Watts
stormed out of his hiding place and was about to punch the blond killer, when
two small hands begged him to run.

�He�ll k-kill you. Le-ts go.�}

�I never understood what happened in that part, why the
little girl wasn�t afraid of Seifer or why he looked
so scared?� The handkerchief was soaked through as she cried during her entire
retelling, but she still wasn�t finished.

{After running for what seemed like hours, Ri/spa/span> and Watts reached the Caraway
mansion. Their pursuer was covered in the child�s blood and continued behind
them.

�He�s catching up. Quick, get inside.� Just as they closed
the door, a heavy pounding nearly forced it open. �Find your father�s gun; I�ll
hold him off here.�

�What�s going on here?� The general�s booming voice was
heard at the top of the stairs.

�Daddy! He killed Zone and a little
girl and now he�s after us. Make him stop, please.� She ran up the stairs and
into her father�s arms. �I�m sorry for being difficult, but please make him go
away.�

�I need a little help here, the door�s �bout to�� The blade
of the Hyperion easily cut through the door and thus through the body holding
it shut.

�WATTS.� Freeing herself
from her father, she tried to reach her friend.

�No�run.� The weapon impaling him to the door slowly slid
out. The doormat was soaked in his blood as he fell to his knees. ��run��

�Rinoa!
Come with me.� Caraway grabbed his daughter�s forearm and pulled her into his
study. �Go behind the desk.�

As she ran towards the desk, she passed next to a full
length mirror. For only a moment she caught a glimpse of herself. Tangled hair,
dirty dress and a pale face looked back. A few hours before she looked young,
beautiful and innocent; now she knew appeared na�ve and superficial. Plummeting
behind the wooden furniture, she curled up underneath it. A small box started
to yap at her.

�Don�t worry. It�s only a puppy, honey.� Caraway was loading
up his revolver. �I was going to give it to you this evening.�

�Stop running, Princess.� The
thunderous voice was coming up the stairs. �Not even daddy can protect you.�

The door slammed open, several shots fired, sparks flew into
the air. �Uh, uh, uh.� The attacker stood behind his
weapon like a shield, smirking triumphantly. �That�s no way to greet a guest.�

He strode menacingly passing in front of the mirror. From a
small space underneath the desk, Rinoa could see him
approaching slowly. Clutching the small puppy against her chest, she could see
the reflection. Instead of a muscular Aryan was a slender brunette with an
identical scar between his eyes. Instead of threatening green eyes, there were
stormy grey ones. Both had gunblades wer were holding
them differently. The unexpressive face caused recognition. �Sq-qu-all?�

Images of a gala; in the corner a silent
and cold warrior. Standing behind Sorceress Edea
as she left her to be attacked by Iguions and then
saved by a cowboy and the same cold boy. A flash of light and the feeling of
weightlessness as she drifted into space until the same warrior came to her
rescue. All of these memories exploded into her consciousness. �Sei-fe-fer�you�re Seifer.�

�Get out of my way, old man.� Thrusting his Hyperion
sideways, he tore the top of the desk off and also gutted the galbadian general.

�Dad, NO!!� Crawling towards a corner, she couldn�t believe
what she saw. �No Seifer, don�t kill him. Please
DON�T.�}

�After killing�my�f-father�I-I started sc-creaming out for you.�
The grieving girl had clamped her hand on Squall�s. �I want-ted to be s-saf-fe.�

�Rinoa, I�� ~That�s what she went
through? No wonder she feels helpless.~ Loss for words, her guardian stretched out
his arms and pulled her ian ean embrace.

�I-I�m s-sorry�I c-can ne-v-ver
defend myself.� She dug her head into the hollow of his shoulder, so her voice
became muffled and could barely be heard.

He closed the distance between even further and whispered
lovingly. �You saved me as well. When I was lost in that wasteland, it was you
that pulled me out.�

Crying even louder, she felt relief, happiness and comfort
in hims. ms. He rocked her back and forth whispering how important she was to
him, until wailing stopped.

Sitting next to the couple, sat three people that felt that
they were intruding on a very personal scene. At last, they disentangled
themselves and the session continued.
o:p>
�That was very brave of you, Ms. Heartilly.�
The doctor patted her on the shoulder. �We�ll take a little break, so you can
rest.�

Sitting precariously on the edge of his chair, Zell cracked his knuckles and tapped his feet. ~Did you
hear about that kidDon�t tell me you feel pity for that bastard�..I wanna know more, just in case�..Just in case what?......I tell them everything�..How many times do we have to go through with
this? You only tell them what I tell you to say�..I know, I know, but
still�.~ A loud rumbling sound emanated from the small
blonde.

�Zell, when was the last time you
ate?� Quistis, who was sitting next to him, lifted
her head.le
- 6
- 7
- 8
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Insanity