Like a Cherry River

‘…You’ll be right there waiting to shoot me…’

‘…Never failed to finish a mission, did ya?...’

‘…You just have to know…’

‘…I can’t get away…’

‘…Don’t kick the shit out of me…’

‘...I love you, Reno…’

“I know that it hurts, Reno,”

The red-head was having a hard time telling Cloud’s voice apart from the words that he’d just read in that old letter. Telling now from then was getting so hard and he could barely open his eyes. All he could feel was the cold bite of the breeze against his neck as well as the fingers that he had digging down into the dirt below him.

“He’s not here to love you like he always wanted to,”

Reno could faintly feel Cloud’s hand against his back, but he wished that it belonged to Zack instead. Zack’s hand would have been so warm and comforting and just as playful as ever. It would have taken away all of the pain and all of the hurt.

“There’s so much that he wanted to say and do…but,”

But Zack was dead.

He was rotting in the ground right below them, nothing more than bones, and hair, and broken nails by now.

Nothing but a memory now.

Zack was just a memory.

But he had to be justified.

“So I’ll do it,”

Reno’s brows lifted in curiosity. Cloud would do it. Do what exactly? A better questions was ‘What could Cloud do?’ Confused, pained and lost aquamarine eyes lifted up and locked onto Cloud’s, practically begging him to make it feel better somehow. Reno felt so weak and pathetic at this moment. He’d never felt like this before. Not once and he hoped that he never had to feel this way again. It felt disgusting. All he wanted was for all of the hurt to go away. He wished that Cloud could strip away everything, even if it meant pushing him off of the cliff to do so, but it was a foolish dream. The only thing that could make him feel better was a first class SOLDIER that had given up his life for Cloud.

“I’ll love you, Reno…I’ll love you for him,”

Reno’s eyes closed and he shook his head.

“What, but Cloud, it…it isn’t…”

“It isn’t the same, I know,” the blond moved in front of the redhead, moving a hand under his jaw and pulled his head up with that strong leather-clad grip that Cloud really didn’t look like he was capable of. Reno was surprised by how good it felt. “This isn’t really the way that I want it either,” He admitted, “Face it, we both want Zack, but he’s gone…this is the only thing that we can do now,”

“But…Cloud…” Reno tried to protest even if he didn’t know what he’d say next.

Reno wasn’t able to continue speaking when Cloud suddenly leaned forward, catching his lips heatedly and slipping his tongue along the lips of the red-head.

“Each other,” He whispered out against Reno’s lips as his tongue retracted for a split second, “We’ve got nothing but each other now….” The words were muffled and rang hard in Reno’s head, causing his vision to blur, or was it just because Cloud was kissing him? Sure, he’d always wanted to get close to Cloud and consider him a friend, but this isn’t what he had in mind. But back then he didn’t think that it would feel so good.

He wondered; Is this the way that Zack would have tasted? Would Zack have kissed him with such slow compassion and such meaning? Would Zack have ran his hand up into his hair and toyed with it the way that Cloud did now?

Maybe…maybe he would have, but ever finding out was nothing more than a dream.

Reno didn’t know, he’d kissed Zack once, but that was so long ago and it wasn’t as loving as this, it hadn’t been as slow or careful, then again, that entire situation with the lake was nothing but a huge joke.

As the kiss continued, Reno found his hands going to the back of Cloud’s head, his fingers shaking as he moaned against Cloud’s lips and closed his eyes. It was pure instinct for him to imagine Zack there in Cloud’s place, but it was alright because he was pretty sure that Cloud was imagining that Reno was Zack too. At least they were on the same page, so it didn’t hurt or anything.

From there, their movements got jerky and harsh, desperate and needing on both ends as the two of them eventually crashed down to the barren land beneath them, with Cloud hovering above the red-head. When the need for air became two great for the two of them, both of them pulled away and gasped to stop their heads from spinning so much.

With this eyes still closed, Reno panted as he now clutched onto Cloud’s forearms, his breathing unsteady as his lips remained parted. His features were poised so delicately that Cloud almost could have mistaken Reno for someone else. No words were exchanged between the two as Cloud lingered above Reno. The blond moved a hand and caressed Reno’s cheek before letting his touch move down the Turk’s neck, his fingertips taking in every inch of skin as though it was covered with the finest of wine that was meant to be touched only by Cloud.

“Za…Zack…”

Cloud’s hand stilled when heard the muted call from the red-head beneath him.

Zack…

All of this was still about him, just Zack.

Right now, there was no Cloud and no Reno.

What would Zack have done at this moment?

“…It’s alright, Reno…”

Cloud soothed him as his hand continued to drift downward, down the middle of Reno’s torso and brushing over his navel and then down to the waistband of his pants and further down. The blond could feel Reno’s body arch up into his fingers as Reno tossed his head to the side, keeping his eyes closed as a low moan bubbled up from the base of his throat. However, Cloud’s hand didn’t tuck itself down into the confines of the Turk’s trousers; instead, his touch skimmed over fabric and suddenly cupped Reno’s hidden length, appreciating it through thin fabric, issuing a hiss from Reno as scarlet brows lifted in surprise.

Since when had Reno become so appealing?

Had it started when Cloud had begun imagining Zack’s face instead of Reno’s? Perhaps.

It may have been a sick thing for them to do, for both of them to be imagining a dead man in the place of the man that was in front of them. But as long as it was mutual, then it should have been fine. They were using each other and both of them knew it.

Moments later, Cloud’s hand slipped under black fabric, finding amusement in the fact that there was no underwear blocking his way. He found a faint smile decorating his lips as he curled his fingers around the length between Reno’s legs, squeezing softly and reveling in the melodious groan that flew from those pale lips that he suddenly found himself entrance with. His sword calloused hand wrapped around it and slowly began to glide over the heated and now straining flesh, toying gently with the very tip and pressing the pad of his thumb to the now weeping slit.

“Nnngh! …Zack…”

Reno said the name like a chant, tossing his head and causing his hair to scatter as he slowly bucked his hips upward, trying to get more of that heat and satisfaction. Cloud just watched Reno’s face entranced, breath low as his own groin began to ache slowly. The blond didn’t know how much longer he could stand looking at the sight as Reno’s features twisted and distorted by fantasy and pleasure, being driven to the brink by Cloud’s hand and a memory.

That wasn’t good enough though and soon, Cloud undid the front of the other’s pants, surprising Reno when he slipped the Turk issued uniform pants down to his knees. But Reno still didn’t open his eyes, he only gave a ragged gasp and lifted one of his own hands to his lips, biting down hard upon his knuckle to muffle a groan. Cloud stopped and pulled Reno’s hand from his mouth, kissing his bottom lip gently and lingering there as he continued to softly toy with Reno’s now painfully engorged erection.

“No one can hear you out here…”

Cloud reminded the red-head gently as he pulled away and let himself trail down the other’s body, coming to rest with his face mere inches from the center of Reno’s desire. Reno barely had time to open his eyes before Cloud’s tongue swept against the head of his girth, causing Reno’s eyes to snap shut in ecstasy. It was so hot and so wet and Reno couldn’t keep his thoughts straight anymore as he bit down on his lip, one of his hands seeking out one of Cloud’s hands, dragging it up his chest and pressing the palm against his face.

As Cloud slowly began to draw Reno into his mouth, the red-head panted heavily, trying to keep himself under control and trying not to scream. However, that plan failed when Cloud’s free hand slipped under the length that was venturing deeper into his mouth, he gently slipped his fingers against the testicles that hung right beneath it. He squeezed them softly as he silently appreciated the velvet skin encasing them, giving them their needed attention before his fingers slipped further down and gently ran his fingernails between the crevice in the other’s backside, slipping between the skin. Gently, Cloud pulled his mouth back, dropping down a little bit and taking one of the impressively sized orbs between his lips, slowly running his tongue over it and giving it’s twin the same treatment, Reno only moaned in a wordless show of impatience.

Pulling away from them, Cloud then pulled his own finger into his mouth before slipping it back down between Reno’s cheeks, circling the entrance nestled between them but not venturing inside. Suddenly, he opened his mouth and took Reno’s cock back into his mouth, grunting gently as he swallowed it whole and forced his gag-reflex back. Cloud’s eyes water slightly, but Reno’s eyes were closed anyway, so he didn’t care, besides Reno was now too busy screaming and bucking his hips to care.

Slowly, Cloud wriggled his finger inside of the red-head and when he struck Reno’s hidden sex-nerves, he knew it by the way that Reno bucked even harder into his mouth and screamed Zack’s name out to the heaven’s. His voice fell apart as he came deep in the blonde’s throat, which in turn caused Cloud to pull back and cough hard from the taste, several drops of it falling to the thirsty ground.

“Z…Zack…”

Cloud looked up slowly at the call and smiled faintly.

They were both living in a fantasy with the same person and without each other.

Cloud sighed gently and leaned back over, locking his lips onto Reno’s and kissing him slowly, allowing himself to linger and imagine Zack under him, panting and satisfied.

When reality was too much, they still had their fantasy, so they stayed there in their dream-world, only several feet from the final resting place of the man that they both loved far too much.