Becoming SOLDIER

Cloud grimaced; where…am I… The showers…? No… Cloud stirred as his eyes became active between his lids trying to draw himself back to consciousness. He was laying on something to comfortable to be the cold tiled floor of the shower. He wondered had someone found him; he searched through his memory trying to grasp the events that unfolded. He remembered him facing the spray of water; remembered the man throwing him up against the wall; recalled him fighting back and almost escaping… Almost… But he couldn’t remember what exactly happened after; he remembered falling forward and cracking his head against the floor. The pain throbbing throughout his skull confirmed the event; but had he… was he…

Cloud tried to open his eyes; he strained to do so as the light pierced his pupils making them burn painfully. His frown grew as he brought his hand to his forehead to block some of the light so he could open his eyes. Cloud forced himself to sit up and thankfully noted that there was no pain other than the pain in his torso and skull. Cloud sighed softly in relief; but he was sure that the man was on top of him at one point. He, though half conscious, did feel a numb tingling crawling over his body; no doubt the man had touched him. Cloud visibly cringed as he felt the sensation over his skin; it made his stomach twist and his body flinch. Cloud finally sat himself straight up in the bed taking in his surroundings. The room was a ghastly shade of white; so was everything else in the room; it was painful to his eyes, he briefly wondered if it was just him or if even adjusted eyes flinched at the rooms overwhelming brightness. His eyes settled on the form slouched in the chair not to far from his bedside. Cloud smiled softly at the raven-haired man and it became to clear what had happened; Zack had protected him just like he promised he would. Almost immediately after the realization hit him he frowned; sure he appreciated Zack coming to his rescue. It wasn’t that he was ungrateful; he was indebted to the boy for protecting him; but he couldn’t help but feel ashamed. How was he ever going to become a SOLDIER if he couldn’t protect himself against one man? Larger than he was granted but that’s no excuse; and he knew that. Cloud’s frown only further deepened as he glanced over his friends troubled features; the boy though asleep; had his lips pressed tightly together in a thin line. His face was scrunched together as if he were sleeping through a nightmare. Cloud knew the boy probably only fell asleep because of his utter exhaustion. It was evident seeing that Zack was still wearing his training clothes and had obviously not bothered to wash up or let alone move from his place next to Cloud’s bed. Cloud’s fists clenched tightly in his lap as he stared down at his balled fists; Cloud more than ever needed to rebuild his bruised ego. He wasn’t going to be small and helpless; he wasn’t going to be weak. Nor was he going to be seen as some delicate fragile boy who needed to be rescued; he needed to face things on his own; he needed to redeem his hurt pride.

Cloud took a deep breath before relaxing his hands; he peered over to Zack’s sleeping form speaking softly to gently arouse the boy from his slumber, “..Za-ck…” Cloud’s brows pressed together in frustration; I guessed he really did a number on my throat…. Cloud’s voice was rasp; a dull pain erupted through his neck when the sound tried to push through his throat. He inwardly cursed but made a second attempt forcing his voice past his lips, “..Zaack…” He sighed; better but still pathetic…

Zack shifted as his eyes blinked open; Cloud would have laughed as Zack encountered the same issue with the brightness of the room invading his eyes. Zack, however, added a few curses under his breath. Zack paused and nearly jumped out of his chair realizing it was Cloud who drew him from his slumber. He didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep, “Cloud!”

Cloud chuckled very softly as he watched Zack’s huge grin cross his features. When Cloud focused on his friends grin his amusement faded; he looked worn and tired; the grin he wore was somehow sad. Cloud couldn’t explain it but he knew the grin, although looking like a trademark Zackery Fair grin, was hollow and strained. Almost….Sad…

Zack instantly knew Cloud had seen past his farce; no matter how happy he was to see Cloud OK it still killed him inside to know that he was here in the first place do to his absentmindedness. He saw the strange looming figure; if he only paid more attention; if he only kept a better eye out for Cloud. If I only kept my promise…he wouldn’t be here right now.. he wouldn’t be in pain; he wouldn’t have gotten hurt; he would’ve never had to experience what had happened… Zack concluded to himself. Cloud almost reading his thoughts summoned his voice to speak lowly, “It’s not your fault Zack… I let my guard down…”

Zack looked at the boy in disbelief, “Cloud I promised… I said I would and I …”

Cloud felt a pain stab at his broken pride; he hadn’t meant to speak so loudly but it came out forceful all the same, “I don’t need someone to look after me; I’m not a child!”

Another pain hit Cloud’s chest as he saw Zack’s face twist into a hurt expression; he looked that of a whipped dog. Cloud swallowed ignoring the pain as it followed down his throat, “ …I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean… I-I just…” Cloud looked down to his hands again, “I can handle myself…”

Zack felt a burning in the pit of his stomach, “Sure Cloud you really had the situation under control..”

Zack nearly flinched when he saw the fire burning behind Cloud’s eyes; he wanted to make his point but he didn’t mean it the way it came out.

Cloud’s tone was that of warning as he spoke low under his breath, “I was caught off guard… I can handle myself Zack…”

“But Cloud…,” Zack started but Cloud didn’t give him a chance to finish.

“I don’t need you to play the part of hero,” Cloud burst out; regretting the words soon after he said them. He looked away from Zack and off to the side; eyes focused on the floor, “..Thank you…for what you did… but from now on I’ll handle things on my own…”

Zack couldn’t believe what he was hearing; the burning in the pit of his stomach was ready to burst. He felt his hands tightly gripped at his sides; felt the heat overcome his body as his frustration grew quickly to anger.

“All this time…,” Zack’s words were low; venomous even, “… we relied on each other. For training… for studies… friendship… and you’re going to change that all because of your bruised ego?! I thought we were in this together Cloud; I never forgot my promise but maybe you forgot yours,” Zack nearly shouted. Cloud’s flinched at the words and dropped his head lower unable to make eye contact with the raven haired man. He wished desperately to escape the man’s burning blue orbs; they seemed to burn holes into his skin and throw daggers into his chest.

The raven haired cadet turned on heel after giving Cloud one last look of disbelief exiting the infirmary; shutting the door none to gently. Cloud; only then; lifted his gaze to the door. He cursed himself for being to selfish as to not consider how Zack felt. His last words ringing through Cloud’s mind seemed to throb more painfully than the wound to his skull. Cloud sunk back into his bed and buried his head into the pillow. He took a quick gasp for air in a failed attempt to stop the sobs that would inevitable shake his huddled form. He drew his knees to his chest and covered himself with the covers; he didn’t want anyone to see him in such a weakened state. Too much happened all at once; to much were circling his mind; to many ghost-like touches were searching his body; to many guilty voices and words circulated his head. Zack would forgive him; wouldn’t he? Cloud silenced his sobs in his pillow; trying to search for sleep to overtake him. I didn’t forget Zack… I’m sorry…

Only a day later and Cloud was fit for duty; the injury to his skull and the majority of the bruising healing time was accelerated by the effects of cure spells the nurses placed on him. Lucky for Cloud the day was to start out with none other than field practice; with weaponry no less. Each cadet was given gun; filled with paintballs of course; and separated into two factions. Cloud and Zack found each other on opposite teams; and honestly it made Cloud feel uneasy. It was as if the world now dared to put a rift even larger between them. The instructor quickly went over the rules; most of the cadet’s seemed prepared; most likely they were informed of today’s activities. Cloud shrugged it off; he would just have to pay a little more attention to the instructor no harm done. A strange feeling passed over Cloud and he became a little tense. He felt eyes on him; he knew better than to cower or show his reaction so he nominated to turn and face the glaring eyes. A few of the other teams member’s were walking towards him; a glint of mischief in their beady eyes. Cloud’s own blue orbs narrowed and he pressed his lip in a fine line; trying to display the look of ‘bad day to fuck with me’. This seemed to only humor the other boys as they brushed past Cloud knocking him in the shoulder; this effectively did little to move the blonde as he stood his ground. A small hiss of a whisper followed along with the bumped shoulder, “See you out there Blondie...”

Cloud only frowned shaking his head; he knew now more than ever he would have to face some abuse from the others. Especially after finding that the larger man; who he came to find out was dubbed Ralph; was looking at a dishonorable discharge from the army for his actions. No matter how ill Ralphs’ intentions were Cloud knew he would be ganged up on because it was ‘his’ fault; Cloud had to snicker at that; that Ralph might be kicked out of the armed forces.

Each team lined up on either side of the field and began filling their respective hoppers; Cloud kept a weary eye on Ralph’s litter of flunkies. He would make sure to take them out first; or at least try. His eyes shifted over to Zack; Cloud quickly dropped his eyes back to his own gun as he noticed Zack was staring at Cloud all the while filling his own hopper. Zack grunted as Cloud dropped his eye contact and shook his head going back to his gun.

The field was set up with bunkers inside a perimeter; much like a paintball tournament would be set up. Only now add a few obstacles and two large groups of army grunts and you had field practice. Oh the joy; Cloud could only muse.

“Take Position ladies,” The instructor yelled before readying his whistle. With one large gasp of breath he blew the whistle and signaled the start. The exercise went fairly well at first; Cloud lead his team developing a strategy to overwhelm the opposing team. Zack almost immediately took charge of his team; organizing them to counter his friends' strategys. The first few matches were long and ended both teams point for point. Cloud didn't like how the day was going; he wished that Zack was on his team rather than against it. But there was no time to worry about that; he would have to speak to him later on the subject. The cadets were released momentarily to grab a drink and refill their hoppers; Ralphs' 'flunkies', as Cloud liked to call them, made it a point to make sure Cloud didn't have a chance to grab any water. The blonde was annoyed but otherwise unfazed; it would only be a few more rounds and even though he was thirsty he knew waiting wouldn't kill him.

Oh it won't 'kill me'; Cloud huffed as he scolded himself inwardly; only slightly inhabit my ability to continue living! Cloud sighed; One round left...

Both teams quickly filled their hoppers; with the exception a select few boys on Zack's team who were taking a bit longer than the others. Cloud cocked a brow over to the small group; it was all of Ralph's buddies who were holding the match up. Cloud could hear the group snickering and babbling on but he didn't pay much mind; he only shook his head and waited for the round to start.

"Final round!" A whistle signaled them to start once again. For some reason Cloud couldn't shake the strange feeling that something was going to go wrong....