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Let Him In	By : GodOfInsanity Category: Final Fantasy VII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Cloud/Sephiroth Views: 2233 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Square Enix’s Final Fantasy 7 or its characters. Nor do I own Morrissey’s passage, either. I do not profit from any of it. I just had an itch to write this, so I did.

Chapter List
- 6
- 7
- 8
Let Him In

Chapter warning(s): Language, Slight humor, Slight angst, Amnesiac Sephiroth

“True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.”-Socrates

[:+ + + + +:]

CH06: Comprehension

Staring blankly at the pages of the open book propped in his lap and held by one hand, Sephiroth found it exceedingly difficult to concentrate on reading. He was stuck rereading the same sentence over and over again. Due to his problem with focusing, the words zoomed through his mind without bothering to sink into his brain. It was like trying to catch water in your hands only to have it slip through the cracks of your fingers.
Why couldn’t he focus? It was most likely because of a pair of ruby colored eyes that felt like they were burning holes through the back of his head.
The dark-haired ex-Turk stood motionless across the room watching his enemy’s every single move. He never spoke nor made a noise. He just watched.
Sephiroth was extremely unnerved by the man and found that his patience was thinning. He felt frustration welling up in him to the point that he had to grit his teeth together in an effort not to snarl. He didn’t like this…this babysitter, no, intruder, more like. Intruder was a much better description for what this gunman was.
It wasn’t easy to just sit there and pretend to read a book that no longer held his interest. The silver-haired man desperately wanted Vincent to leave and longed for Cloud to return to him. This was the first time that he didn’t have the blond with him and it was…well, it was unbearable. It hurt.
For the first time in many years, Vincent felt nervous. The gunman couldn’t even recall the last time he felt such a feeling. He could feel the palms of his hands sweating and it suddenly felt very hot in the room. He wasn’t particularly frightened or intimidated by the presence of Sephiroth per se. It was just…watching him sit there and read like a normal, sane person was unbelievable. He kept half expecting the other man to just go berserk by going on a killing spree, but no, Sephiroth was always calm and composed.
It felt like a surreal dream.
The worst of it, though, was how much Sephiroth resembled her. He wasn’t a carbon copy and he did seem to inherit some physical traits from the one he called “Mother.” Nevertheless; Vincent could still spot all of the similarities that the other male shared with his birth mother. It wasn’t just his looks; it was also in the way he moved and in the manner that he acted. It was all the subtle things. The way he sat there with the side of his face resting against the top of his hand, the way his eyebrow twitched or arched whenever he read something questionable, and the way he curled his thin lips were all things that tied him to Lucrecia.
It had been easy to deny Sephiroth as her son, but now that he saw the former madman in a different light, he could deny it no longer: this was Lucrecia’s child.
What stung him the most was the fact that Vincent could have been Sephiroth’s father. If he had been the father, then perhaps everything would not have transpired the way it had. Maybe they all would have been happy, but no, he knew it was folly to think like this. Things could have turned out worse for them if he had sired Sephiroth. Or maybe better. There really was no way of knowing.
The blame for all the atrocious events had always rested on Sephiroth’s shoulders, but in truth, the blame belonged to many people. It was Hojo’s fault. It was Jenova’s fault. It was also Lucrecia’s fault and yes, Vincent knew he was to blame as well.
The longer he stared at his ex-lover’s son, the more he began to see that Sephiroth had been a victim. Yes, he had been a victim that had been methodically built into a psychotic monster by his own biological father and by an alien entity.
It was more comfortable to label him as a monster than to think that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t necessarily evil. He was an insane man who had perceived himself as a rightful god. He had believed that what he had been doing was right and logical. He hadn’t believed himself to be insane, evil, or wrong. That made some sense, though, since insane people don’t know that they’re insane. They don’t know nor understand that what they’re doing is wrong and that they’re hurting anyone.
In truth, anyone could go mad at any time by pretty much anything. Most people tended to believe that evil and madness walked hand in hand. The difference between evil and insane people is that evil people know what they’re doing is wrong whereas crazy people don’t know what they’re doing is wrong.
Vincent had had a lot of time to think about everything. Like Cloud, he had immersed himself in steeped guilt and had drowned himself in troubling, maddening thoughts of Sephiroth. Of everything that had led up to METEROR.
That’s how he was. He was a tragic, solitary man that kept to himself and brooded in the shadows. But unlike Cloud, he did not isolate himself completely from his comrades. He at least popped around every now and then to check on how they were all doing.
Still, Vincent didn’t know anything to be certain, though. The very observant gunman had his own opinions, but that didn’t really give voice to any solid, hard facts. Even though he was starting to see the other man in a different light, he still couldn’t trust Sephiroth just yet. Old habits always died hard and he was dying very hard at the moment by the way he watched his old adversary’s every move and by the way his hand itched to use Cerberus.
Sephiroth had been crazed and psychotic as a result of a sequence of events that most of them had all dealt a hand in. The blame lay with both the dead and the living, but it seemed to weigh heavier with the survivors. And Vincent knew that Cloud was one of them. He knew that the blond burdened himself with so much anguish and guilt that it was just plain ridiculous.
If Sephiroth was truly amnesiac as Cloud claimed he was, then Vincent couldn’t help but wonder what Sephiroth was going to do when he finally remembered. Would the man feel pain and guilt like Cloud regularly did, or would he feel the opposite?
Only time would tell.

[:+ + + + +:]

“Can I help you?” Snapped Sephiroth after enduring several hours of Vincent’s stare-a-thon. A few minutes before he had broken the silence, Sephiroth had carefully marked the page with a bookmark and placed it on the coffee table.
“…” Vincent didn’t move.
“You don’t say much, do you?” Sighed the green-eyed man after a few moments of strange silence.
“…” The ex-Turk was tempted to smile, but he didn’t, of course. Instead, he merely offered him more silence.
“Why do you keep staring at me?” Ground out Sephiroth after a couple more of awkward minutes of silence. He could feel the tension in the air, but strangely enough, the gunman wasn’t the one radiating it. What had changed?
“I’m babysitting you,” Vincent spoke dryly as he continued to regard the other man. A moment or two later in a barely audible voice, he added, “It’s not like there’s anything else to look at that’s remotely interesting.”
Sephiroth clenched his hands into tight fists when he had heard him speak the first part, but before he could retort, he heard the word ‘interesting’ uttered. As soon as he heard that word, he blanched visibly while he felt red hot pain spike up in his chest like dozens of needles stabbing him. Confusing, terrifying images sped through his mind in a matter of seconds. Images, images of men in white coats, white sterile walls, and stainless steel tables flashed through his brain with disturbing familiarity.
The green-eyed man felt wave after wave of anger, confusion, trepidation, and anxiety brutally assault him without reprieve.
Still seated in the chair, he hastily bent over and breathed sharply through his mouth as he panted long and hard while feeling the nausea build up. His body shook from the convulsions with relentless tenacity. Was he having a heart attack, or just going crazy? He didn’t know. He was forced to cling to himself as he desperately wondered what was happening and why.
Sephiroth was suffering from some sort of panic attack that was triggered by something specific. That much Vincent could figure, however, he didn’t know why.
Rooted to his spot, the dark-haired gunman suddenly wished he had not sent Cloud away. He knew what he should do, but this was Sephiroth. That man wasn’t like anyone else.
“Sephiroth, listen to me. You need to calm down. I am not going to hurt you. No, not anymore,” promised Vincent in his best soothing sort of voice as he approached the other man with nimble, cautious steps. He didn’t want to run or sneak up on him lest he surprise the man. He suspected that might cause a violent and undesired reaction on both of their parts. The ex-General may seem changed and non-threatening now, but he was still labeled as unpredictable and possibly dangerous in the ex-Turk’s book.
Said man didn’t seem to notice Vincent at all. He remained leant over and hugging his thighs to his chest as he trembled and shook. The pupils of his cat-like eyes were dilated to the point that they were almost round and normal looking like a human’s.
As he watched Sephiroth, something occurred to Vincent. Perhaps this was exactly how Sephiroth reacted in the Shinra mansion after he had read that journal. Maybe he was remembering everything now and going batshit crazy again. But no, he didn’t know. It was best he kept it as a possible explanation in the back of his mind for now. He would get his answers soon enough. The last thing he wanted to do was do something stupid and have Cloud be pissed at him.
“Sephiroth, can you hear me?” Vincent murmured in an effort to divert his attention. He was hesitant to touch the man. But what could he do? He had to think of something and something fast. But what? What did Cloud do to…oh wait; didn’t Cloud call him something, like a sort of pet name? Oh, right. “Seph? Seph, are you ok?”
As if by magic or instant cure, Sephiroth abruptly snapped out of it. He stopped shaking and panting as he slowly rose up to an upright position. Even his slit-like eyes were back to normal, well, normal for him. In a calm voice devoid of emotion, he quietly inquired, “Yes…?”
Not sure what to make of this, yet, Vincent watched with careful eyes. He didn’t want to let the relief flood him until he was certain that Sephiroth wasn’t bonkers. “How…how do you feel?”
Sephiroth shrugged, rolled his eyes, and then hissed, “Why do you care?”
Relieved, yet not thrilled at the other man’s sour attitude, Vincent offered nothing in reply. Sephiroth’s despondent, snippy behavior wasn’t something he particularly enjoyed, but if he had been in Sephiroth’s boots, he might react the same way to someone who had previously attempted to shoot him dead.

[:+ + + + +:]

An hour and forty-six minutes later, a very restless and agitated Sephiroth paced back and forth like a caged animal. He was bored out of his mind and was tempted to pull out all of his hair. The only reason he didn’t actually attempt to do such an act was because he knew Cloud liked his hair. That and he liked it when Cloud played with it.
It also didn’t help that the only other living thing he had to talk to merely gawked at him, yet refused to speak much. True, he wasn’t a very verbal person himself, but still. He needed something. He needed Cloud. Damn, everything always seemed to lead his thoughts back to Cloud.
Sephiroth decided that he didn’t like this stranger. This Vincent. Well, he had already had that notion decided hours ago, but the more time he spent being stared at, the more frustrated he felt himself becoming. If only he could get away from here and be somewhere else. Somewhere where he actually recognized someone that wasn’t hostile.
And then it hit him. Hana.
Perhaps he could somehow get to Schönnbach. Cloud had taken him there a few times already and he didn’t hate it there. The people mostly kept to themselves, but weren’t unfriendly. The friendliest of them was a kid called Hana. She was relentless whenever they dropped by and she’d follow them everywhere pestering them both with all sorts of questions. Cloud never seemed annoyed and put up with her without effort, it seemed.
Hana was, well, she was kind of annoying, but she was the only other person Sephiroth knew. That and she had somewhat grown on him to the point that he could tolerate all her asinine questions and comments. It wasn’t so bad, really.
And maybe, maybe Cloud was with her there in that little town.
There was just one problem. He had to somehow get there by means of transportation. Walking would take too long for his liking. But if he had to, he would. He would do anything to get away from this place and away from this man who irked him so.
Sephiroth sighed before he turned his attention to the dark-haired man. In a quiet, but firm voice, he beckoned, “Vincent.”
“Oh, so you know my name. Congratulations,” dryly remarked Vincent.
Gritting his teeth behind closed lips, Sephiroth felt his teeth slowly grind together. It didn’t feel pleasant at all. Be that as it may, he knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere if he sank to Vincent’s level by insulting him back.
“I assume you have some means of transportation, yes?” Asked Sephiroth in a neutral tone of voice.
Vincent arched an eyebrow. “Perhaps.”
“I want to go to Schönnbach.”
“That’s nice,” drawled the dark-haired gunman.
Sephiroth narrowed his eyes and then crossed his arms over his chest. He was far from amused. “Is it, now?”
“Yes.”
Feeling his patience snap at that one word, Sephiroth then briskly strode past the other man. Walking out of the room, he then traveled down the hallway until he reached the front door. Jerking it open a bit too roughly, he slammed it behind him as he marched outside. He wasn’t about to take this shit any longer.
Vincent sighed. It figured. Just when he was getting comfortable where he was.
Pushing off of the wall, the ex-Turk casually made his way outside in pursuit of the green-eyed male.
“Sephiroth, where are you going?”
“That doesn’t concern you. Leave me be!” Snapped the silver-haired ex-General as he started walking down the road. Even if he didn’t reach Schönnbach, he didn’t care. As long as he was doing something away from Vincent, he was fine with it.
“I think it does. I’m supposed to watch you.”
“I don’t need to be watched by the likes of you. Leave me alone,” Sephiroth vehemently hissed as he followed the road. He didn’t falter in his steps. If anything, he walked even faster. He didn’t need to look behind to know that he was being followed.
Then suddenly, the quiet steps several feet behind him stopped. A moment or two later, they started again, but in the opposite direction. It sounded like the gunman was returning back to the house. Good.
However, Sephiroth’s relief didn’t last long since a minute or two later, the sound of a quiet vehicle drove up to him. It pulled up beside him and kept up with him. He didn’t look. Keeping his eyes trained ahead, he ignored the driver.
The window rolled down as if by its own accord. A familiar, yet unwelcome voice drifted out. “Sephiroth, get in the car.”
“I’d rather not,” Sephiroth said stiffly as he continued looking ahead.
Vincent then affirmed in a steeled sort of voice that could make just about anyone shiver. “I’m not asking.”
Sephiroth then drawled out, “That’s nice.”
Narrowing his red eyes, the gunman was almost amused by the fact that Sephiroth had made him eat his own words. Really, this boy reminded him too much of himself in his younger days before Hojo had turned the ex-Turk into a monster.
“Get. In. The. Vehicle. Now.” Vincent ground out when his patience had finally withered away. He couldn’t help feeling slightly fond, yet highly annoyed by the younger man. If he had been a less controlled person, he would have laughed. Sephiroth was acting like a rebellious, disobedient child and Vincent, well, he was acting like he was his father.
Sephiroth continued walking as if he hadn’t heard him. His hands were buried in his pockets as he walked and he even looked towards the horizon as if it captivated him.
The vehicle that Vincent was driving was actually a gift from his friend, Cid Highwind. Cid had built it specifically to suit the Ex-Turk’s needs. It primarily had two different functions: to drive and to fly. Yes, it could alter its shape enough so that it could actually take off the ground and fly a great distance. It also had four wheel drive so that if need be, Vincent could travel over pretty much any kind of landscape. It also had a weapons system, which consisted of a couple of missile launchers and automatic guns. It packed enough of a punch to dissuade thieves and the like.
The car itself was a neutral tone of color, a grayish color, so that it didn’t stand out and could camouflage with most things. It could also transport at least up to six people of average height and weight. The controls were both manual and automatic in case the power wasn’t working and because of personal preference. All in all, it was highly efficient and served its purpose very well.
However, it did not have a name and Vincent wasn’t about to name it. It was just a reliable car to him. Nothing more and nothing less.
Putting the vehicle on autopilot, Vincent slid over to the passenger seat, slid the door open and grabbed Sephiroth by the arm. In a red and black flash, he swiftly yanked him inside and slammed the door. Then he slid back into the driver’s seat and pressed the automatic door lock so that Sephiroth wouldn’t get any funny ideas about escaping out of a moving vehicle.
In spite of that, the stubborn ex-General tried to open the door, yet it was all in vain. His efforts were met with dejected failure. After a few minutes, he crossed his arms and leaned back in the seat. Turning his head, he looked at Vincent and glared daggers at him while he visibly seethed.
“I’m not letting you out anytime soon. Get used to it,” Vincent quietly intoned after a few minutes of feeling the other man’s intense gaze burn into him.

Slouching in the seat, Sephiroth looked out the window as the vehicle zoomed on by. He was surprised. It didn’t even feel like they were traveling very fast at all. Everything was a blur and there wasn’t much to see except for the mid-afternoon sky.
Eventually Sephiroth’s anger dissipated and he fell into a light doze.

[:+ + + + +:]

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Asked Hana as she tossed a few pebbles at some random, half crushed soda can.
Sephiroth lazily shrugged. He was sitting on a bench next to the little girl in some park. There were a few kids playing at the playground and he watched them as if what they were doing was actually remarkable to him. He absentmindedly wondered if he had ever been just like them by playing outside in a playground. And if he did, he wondered if he played with anyone else.
“Seph…does anyone ever pick on you?” Hana asked after several long minutes of silence. She used the toe of her shoe to prod around a broken piece of a loose brick.
“What do you mean?” Curious, the ex-General tore his eyes away from the playing children to look at the girl beside him.
Hana didn’t look at him at all as she replied in a small voice, “You know, like laugh at you, call you names, throw stuff at you, hit you, make fun of you. You know, stuff like that.”
“Why would someone pick on me?”
“I dunno…’cause you’re different? You don’t look like anyone else. I’ve never seen anyone with hair…or eyes like you. You’re also prettier than most girls, too, to boot.”
“I see. Why are you asking me this?”
“Just…curious,” the red-head answered as if that weren’t the real reason. She was staring downcast at the ground as if ashamed by something.
After a moment or two, Sephiroth sighed and then said, “No, no one picks on me.”
“Oh. Well…if someone did, what would you do?”
Sephiroth had to think about that for a moment. No matter how many ideas he produced in his brain, he honestly didn’t know. As far as he knew, he had never been bullied by anyone. Since he suffered from amnesia, there was no way for him to know what he would actually do regarding a situation like that.
Finally settling on an answer, the silver-haired man shrugged. “I do not know.”
“Oh…”
Several more minutes of silence passed. The girl could stay quiet for awhile, but she tended to get easily bored and distracted. As she swayed around on the bench, her brown eyes darted around as if looking for something to distract her from her boredom. Sure enough, she found something all right.
“Seph, who’s that guy?” Whispered Hanna after she had leaned close to Sephiroth so that no one else overheard her.
“A nuisance.”
“Haha, that’s funny!” Hana giggled as she stole a glance or two at the dark-haired man who stood about twenty-five feet away from them. She then noticed something peculiar. “He keeps watching ya. It’s kinda creepy.”
“Just ignore him,” sighed Sephiroth as he leaned back against the bench. He had been a tad bit disappointed to find out that Cloud wasn’t in town, but he hadn’t been surprised. He didn’t know where Cloud was or what he was doing, but he could still feel him. If Cloud were close, he’d feel it.
“No, really, who is he? He your boyfriend?” Asked Hana in half-jest as she nudged him teasingly with her elbow. She pouted when he didn’t seem to play along with her joke. This guy was so serious and quiet most of the time, but she still liked him.
Sephiroth snorted, “He is nothing to me. His name is Vincent and he is a friend of Cloud’s.”
“I wonder how many friends Cloud has…since he usually comes here alone. You’re the first one I’ve met, actually. I’m glad he has you.”
The silver-haired amnesiac looked down at the girl and inquired, “Why do you say that?”
Hana leaned slightly against Sephiroth and he allowed it. Her brown eyes were half-hooded and she looked a bit sleepy. “He’s not lonely anymore, that’s why.”
Sephiroth nodded, yet otherwise said nothing else. He sat there in thoughtful silence watching the sun slowly descend as the red-haired girl slept against him. He didn’t mind so much. It was probably because the girl slightly reminded him of his Cloud in some way.
Against his will, he slightly shook her awake. It would be dark soon.

[:+ + + + +:]

On the way back to Cloud’s little Chocobo ranch, both men were quiet. Not a single word had been uttered since the afternoon. The sky was pitch black now with twinkling stars and a lonely, glowing moon. All was silent.
Vincent had been astounded to see Sephiroth with that girl, Hana. Their interaction had been quite odd to witness. He didn’t know what he had expected, but it wasn’t that. Perhaps Cloud was right about there being more to Sephiroth than meets the eye. There were dimensions of him that the gunman hadn’t expected to see. He was slowly unraveling each layer and wasn’t sure what to think of it just yet.
On another note, after they had arrived in Schönnbach, he had tried calling Cloud. The blond didn’t bother to pick up of course. It was a rare occasion when Cloud actually answered and even rarer for him to call back. It was damn frustrating at times.
The ex-Turk had been forced to leave a voicemail which was short and to the point. He had called just to let Cloud know that he had taken Sephiroth to that town. He didn’t want his friend to think that something bad had happened.
Pulling to a stop near the house, Vincent shut off the engine and unlocked the doors. He then stepped out of the car and didn’t even need to look to know that Sephiroth had exited as well.
There was a wary look on Sephiroth’s face. He wouldn’t go near the house. The ex-General just stood there as if something had compelled him to.
Walking around the vehicle to get a better look, Vincent came to stand beside Sephiroth. He turned his gaze to look at what Sephiroth was staring at.
It was Cloud. And he looked beyond pissed.

[:+ + + + +:]

A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews, hits, and ratings. Your reviews are always appreciated and I will always respond to them. If you wish to read my reply to your review, go to my livejournal. You don't need an account and it is visible to everyone. The link should also be in my profile, but just in case, here it is: http://godofinsanity.livejournal.com/
With that being said, thanks for your patience. I know it’s been awhile. Also, next chapter should have more Cloud action, I promise. :3
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Let Him In