Save Me | By : Seiferlover86 Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Seifer/Squall Views: 972 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII or the characters. I am not making any money from writing this. |
Save Me
"How was the club last night?" asked a tall blond as they sat in the cafeteria the next day. Squall eyed him. "It was alright..." he trialed off. "You should have went with us, you know," he added, giving Seifer a look. "Yeah. I couldn't... I was-:" "-Busy?" Squall finished for him. "You're always busy." Seifer bit his lip. Squall had a point—he was always always busy. Well, he wouldn't have minded going out with them. And he would have went... if it wasn't for Devon. He kept him close last night. "Sorry. We had other things to do." Squall just nodded his head. "Yeah." Squall wondered why he was lying to him again. He knew very well that they did not have any damn plans—just Devon wanting to keep his Seifer away from him. That thought made Squall glower. He had no right to keep Seifer away from his friends—away from him. Hell Squall could damn well see it! It was not hard to tell that Devon wanted Seifer away from him. Seifer really needed to stop listening to everything Devon said. He hated when Devon ordered him around like he did. Still, there wasn't anything he could do about it... yet. But, Squall was very, very close to losing it and decking the smug asshole. Who the hell did he think he was anyway? "Squall?" "Huh?" Squall shook his head, coming out of his thoughts. "What?" "You seemed out of it. You okay?" Seifer asked with a small smile. "Yeah. It's nothing," the brunet waved it off. It was really nothing that Seifer needed to know about. "Hmm," Seifer hummed. "You think too much." "...Whatever," Squall muttered, giving him a slight smile. Seifer returned it with one of his own. God, he loved it when Squall smiled like that. He was gorgeous when he smiled. Of course, Seifer had always known that Squall was good looking—it wasn't hard to see. He had no problems thinking it, or saying it either for that matter. "You really should smile more often, Squall. It suits you." Squall couldn't help it, he blushed and turned his head away so Seifer wouldn't notice. But, Seifer did notice before he could turn his head. It was moments like this where Seifer was glad he still hung around Squall. He loved the time he spent with him. Nothing could make him happier than when he was with Squall. Sure, no one but him knew that, but still... It's the way it was. Sure, Squall could probably guess, so he really didn't need to say anything. So, despite what Devon says, Seifer didn't think he could ever stay away from Squall, no matter what his punishment may be. Dammit, Squall was too important to him. Although, he had wondered many, many times how Squall really felt about him. Though, he didn't dare ask it. He knew Squall at least like him as friends, but it didn't explain why he was so hostile with Devon. There was always something in Squall's eyes when he saw Devon—Seifer couldn't place what it was, but it was there. And he'd have it every time he was within distance of him. Seifer had thought before that it meant something more than he thought it did, but he doubted it. Squall just cared for him as a friend, his mind scolded. Nothing more than that. Seifer, on many occasions, had thought Squall liked him more than that, but knew it wasn't that—Squall could never like him like that. Though, he often wondered what it would be like to be with Squall. Sure, he thought he loved Devon, but being with Squall... it's making him question everything he once thought before. Seriously, he had no idea anymore. Okay, well, the truth was, before Devon came along, Seifer had wanted to be with Squall. But when nothing ever happened, and Devon was there, he just thought since someone seemed interested he might as well give it a shot. Sure, he had wanted it to be Squall, but knew it wouldn't happen. They were just friends. Nothing more. Actually, when he got back to Garden he had wanted to say something, but Squall had been dating Rinoa at the time, so he never had his chance. And, he didn't want to say anything about liking him when he had a girlfriend, so he kept quiet. Then, when they broke up and she left, it was already too late—he was already with Devon at the time, so he never brought it up or anything, figuring it would be a waste of time now. Not only that, but Devon had also kept him away from him a lot of times as well. He could plainly see Seifer had some sort of feelings for the smaller gunblader, thus, he had to try his damnedest to keep Seifer away. Seifer will admit, yes, he does still have feelings for Squall; they never went away. Devon was there, so they hooked up and had been together ever since. So, Seifer knew exactly why he tried to keep him away from Squall, and why he was so jealous. Shit, it wasn't like he could help how he feels. Though, Seifer had to reassure him that he loved him and to leave it at that. "Seifer?" Seifer snapped back into reality with Squall. "Sorry. Damn, I'm becoming you," he laughed a genuine laugh, a laugh Squall loved to hear and would love to hear more of. "Hey!" Squall mock scowled at him. Seifer grinned cheekily. "What?" Squall smacked his upside his head. "Oww!" Seifer rubbed his head, grin still in place. Seifer smacked him back. "Ow!" They laughed. Squall sobered up. "Seifer... tell me the truth here." Seifer also sobered up at Squall's tone. "About what?" He was honestly curious as to what Squall was going to say. Seifer felt his heart pound rapidly in his chest. "About Devon," was his simple answer. He really want an answer for why Seifer was really with that controlling, possessive, asshole. "What about him?" he asked tentatively, still wondering where Squall was going with this. "About why you're with him? I mean, I know you said you might love him, but I really don't believe it, Seifer." Seifer pondered how to answer that question. Well, he could tell Squall the truth. Besides, Squall would most likely be able to tell if he was lying to him. Seifer sighed and ran a hand through his golden blond hair. How could he just say it, though? Granted, Squall wanted to know the truth. He bit his lip and sighed again. Squall was being very persistent with finding out about why he was with Devon, and about finding out anything in general. "I-I don't know," the blond admitted with a frown. "Seifer," Squall started. "I know you know why you're with him. Shit, what do you see in him?" Squall made a face. Seifer chuckled at at. "Squall—I honestly don't know. I mean, I thought I loved him, but I've been doubting it. I don't really think I do." "So, you don't love him?" Squall felt happy to hear that, but kept his face impassive. He knew that Seifer probably didn't love him, and he was glad that Seifer had said he was doubting that he did. Squall, though, was great at keeping up an expressionless face, belying anything he was really feeling inside. Well, Squall had hoped that Seifer really didn't love him, anyway. That fucker didn't deserve somebody like Seifer. Seifer was too good for him. Seifer shook his head. "No. Not really." Actually saying it was enough for Seifer to believe that he didn't. "Then why are you with him?" "It's complicated." "Oh? How so?" he inquired, wondering how complicated it could be. Didn't Seifer realize that he could talk to Squall? He was always there for him, so Seifer should be able to tell him anything. Didn't he know that? "It's nothin' Squall. Don't worry about it," he tried to be evasive, but Squall was having none of that. Hell, he had gotten this much out of Seifer, so he was going to try and push further—see if he could get anything else out of the blond man sitting next to him. He had come this far, why not a little further? "Seifer, you know you can talk to me, right?" Seifer gave him a look. "I know I'm not the best to open up to, but I'm here for you, Seifer." He sighed and nodded. Yes, Squall was an easy person to talk to nowadays, but he wondered if he should still tell him or not. Well, he knew this much, so he couldn't hurt to tell him something else, Seifer figured. "Seifer?" Seifer relented and looked at Squall. "I-I think it's because he was there, you know? I mean, he sought me out; he noticed me. And, we had began hanging out. I guess we just started being a couple." Squall furrowed his brows. That sounded like Seifer was settling to him; he shouldn't, though. Didn't he see what was right in front of him? "Are you... are you settling for him?" he couldn't help but ask. He needed to know. Seifer paused for a brief moment, then shrugged, as if confirming Squall's accusations. Well, now that he thought about it; it did sound like he was settling, which he was kind of doing; what with the suppressed feeling he had for Squall. Yes, his feelings for Squall never went away, so he dated Devon, hoping to get rid of them, knowing nothing would come of it. But, in the end, he never got over his feelings for the man sitting beside him right now. Dating Devon was his way of trying to get over Squall, but he know realized that it never worked. The feelings he had for Squall ran deeper than he once thought. Plus, Devon really was the only one who had noticed him; he also had told Seifer that no one could love him like Devon could. Seifer had believed him; he still believed him to some extent. "I guess," was all he answered with. "You don't have to settle," he told him firmly, but gently. That was ridiculous. Why would he settle for an ass like that? He could do so much better than him, Squall thought with disgust. "I do," Seifer replied simply. "He's there for me, Squall. He... he-" he trialed off. He honestly didn't know what to say. "He' controlling you." Seifer looked at him. He realized that. "It's fine. I'm use to it." "Look, Seifer. You don't have to settle for him. You can do better than that." "Who? Tell me, Squall. He was the only one to ever approach me. He has his sweet side." "I'm sure you could find someone else," he assured him. "Right," the blond gunblader scoffed. "There is no one else." "How do you know?" Although, Squall wanted to just blurt out that he was better than the asshole; he would like nothing more than to take Seifer in his arms and say what he was feeling. Seifer didn't have to settle. "He treats me... well." Enough, Seifer's mind helpfully added. "And I know because I've never been with anyone else." "Oh?" That was all Squall could say to that. "Squall, it's not that bad. I mean, sure, I may be settling, but he's all I have." "No!" Squall cut him off before he could say more. "That is not true, Seifer, and you damn well know it." "It's is true! Squall, who do I hang out with, really?" That made Squall go quiet. "Exactly. Squall finally found his voice. "It's not true. You have me, Zell, and your other friends." "Look, Squall.-" "Have you ever tried to find anyone else?" he cut him off. "Once," Seifer said in all honesty. "But it never would have worked out." That caught Squall's interest. "So, there is someone else you have feelings for?" "To put it bluntly? Yes, there is. However, I know he doesn't see me as more than a friend." There is was, well, part of the truth, anyway. "Have you tried talking to him?" he asked. "No. He was seeing someone else at the time, but when Devon came, I was already seeing him," Seifer stopped himself from saying anything more. "Then I knew that Devon was the only one that seemed interested in me." "Why didn't you just try? Seifer, I know you; you're never one to just settle." While that was true, Seifer knew that Devon plagued his mind with the idea the no one else wanted him as much as Devon did. So, that thought had just stuck with him, and eventually, he just began to believe it. "I know. Things change, though." "You should not have to settle." "I'm fine," he smiled, albeit a little sadly. "Seifer, what if I were to say that I know for a fact that someone wants you?" The tall man eyed him suspiciously. "Really?" "Yeah," he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Look, I don't want you to settle." They stared at each other, losing themselves in the other's gaze for a moment. But, before could sya anything further, Seifer saw the time. "Danm." "What?" "I'm sorry, Squall. I have to go. But, can we finish later?" Seifer hoped Squall was going to say what he thought he was was going to, but it would have to be later. Squall saw the look the other man was giving him and nodded. "Sure. Later then," he promised. Seifer smiled and hugged Squall, lingering longer that was necessary, but loving the contact. Hell, it always felt good when he touched Squall. Squall, on the other hand, was stunned by the feeling of Seifer arms around him, but slowly returned the gesture. This was not a hug of two people who were just friends, but it was something more. They let go and Seifer smiled. "See ya, Squally-boy." Squall shook his head as he watched Seifer retreat from him, the feeling of Seifer never leaving him.
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