Adult-FanFiction.org : Final Fantasy

Sepsis	By : ladysanzennine Category: Final Fantasy VII > Het - Male/Female > Sephiroth/Aerith Views: 2066 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Don't own ff7. Don't make money off it.

Chapter List
- 1-1
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 7
- 8
- 9
Sepsis
Chapter 8
By Lyralina Sanzennine
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy 7 is property of Square Enix.
A thousand overwhelming emotions assaulted Aeris at once. She didn’t know how long she had sat there, locked in her own thoughts, completely oblivious to the world.
Horror and disgust and shame and desperation crested in violent, roiling waves all around her – so much so that she may have stayed there, paralyzed, for endless hours.
There was revulsion; violation. She recalled her dreams with perfect clarity just as she suddenly remembered everything else, all those vital events and details, all too late. She had seen her mother – no, Jenova – had spoken with her, and then…
Aeris trembled with her head clutched tightly between her hands. She couldn’t bring herself to think about it at all. Every time the pictures appeared in her mind, she firmly, brutally, shoved them away. She hated Jenova all the more for this, for corrupting even the memory of her mother, Ifalna. She prayed fervently that it would fade with time. Time cured all things, didn’t it? It wouldn’t always be like this…
But she was so completely alone and that made it all the harder. Ever since her twisted rebirth, she had known that something was missing. She’d known that the strange silence was wrong and left her incomplete. Now she understood. The Planet had left her - her connection with Gaia's voice was firmly severed. The Jenova cells within her, the only thing keeping her body alive, also kept the Planet from her.
And that itself was so, so revolting, it ate at her soul and made her want to retch. The Calamity, the treacherous plague of the world, lived within her and used her and caressed her in all possible ways. She felt abused and unclean, soiled from the inside. She was unnatural – an abomination that sullied the face of the Planet.
The wild, irrational urge to scrub herself, maybe throw herself onto the flickering flames in the fireplace, bubbled up within her. Furious, she swallowed and shoved the feelings down, refusing to allow them to control her.
So the Crisis lived in her, was intimate in all meanings of the word with her, but what did it really matter? She had been given a choice and she had chosen to come into the very center of the gathering evil. She had known all along the dangers…
But she hadn’t. She had never truly grasped the full consequences of this last, final mission. She had never known it would be this difficult.
And she’d never expected Sephiroth to do all that he’d done with her. Oh, he’d played his cards brilliantly, with perfect precision. She knew he was evil, knew he’d driven several feet of cold steel through her belly. He’d tried and very nearly succeeded in driving Cloud insane and again and again he attempted to rob the entire world of spirit energy, life and all of creation be damned.
He was sick and evil and manipulating her. But a part of her still refused to believe that.
A part of her was fascinated by the unknown depths the other side of existence held and hid from her.
Aeris thought that was perhaps the single worst feeling in all of life – knowing he had deliberately spent so many days conditioning her, yet still she was held in his thrall. He had so constantly and steadily taken care of her, nurturing her step by step back to health; whatever health even meant now. She cursed her humanity, her irrational, emotional weakness that so carefully bound her to him as the saved are bound to their saviors.
He didn’t save me, she thought to herself. None of that was real.
And that hurt in a way that physical pain and mental torment couldn’t quite compare to. They were short and sharp, terrible but fleeting. This was like a slow, low burn; a throbbing of despair in her chest.
He was beautiful and tragic in spite of all his wicked madness. Perhaps, such things shone all the brighter for the fact that they still managed to shine through the anger that cloaked him. In all the times he’d held her in silence and so, so carefully nursed her to health. And she knew now a side of him that possibly no one else had ever seen nor felt. The tenderness had been a charade, the warmth a carefully played game, but still, still, no actor was so skilled that he could pretend to be something that didn’t, somewhere, exist in his soul.
So she despised him for everything he was and everything he’d done and would continue to do. But she wanted him all the same for everything he had shown her in this quiet room.
And at that she wanted to scream again and bury her head beneath the pillows. She never wanted anyone to see her face again. Because, heavens above what would Cloud and Tifa and all the others think?
She prayed that they were safe and well. All those times that Sephiroth had left her, had he been fighting them? Or tormenting them in some way? And Cloud – his Geostigma – had he already fallen?
She had so many question and absolutely no answers. Did they even know that Sephiroth had returned? Did they know that she was alive and with him? Would they come for her?
Aeris didn’t know if she wanted them to. But did she not want them to?
She loved her friends – absolutely and without question…that was why Sephiroth was doing this, wasn’t it? Of course. What other reason did he have? He was using her to strike at those that she loved, and worse, she was allowing it to happen.
And Zack…
Aeris wanted to die. He had seen everything; would see everything to come. It meant that he was still watching over her, maybe even keeping her safe to some extent. She knew he wouldn’t – didn’t – hold her at fault for anything. He would never blame her for this, would never think less of her. But still, the guilt ate at her and weighed down on her shoulders so heavily that she sank back into the bed limply.
Even if Zack understood, that didn’t mean that Cloud would.
Cloud – where was he? Her handsome blonde bodyguard had been so much like Zack that sometimes, it had hurt to even look at him. Zack, SOLDIER first class, who’d never returned to her because of all the terrible things that happened at Sephiroth’s hands.
Death…she contemplated death…that which in and of itself was terrible for the living creature. But the life beyond, the still-sentient existence of the Cetra in their Promised Land, that had been nothing short of bliss. Existence was perfect and it was from there that she had come, to this – this place where she was alone save a man who confused her beyond all reason and a virus that was mad and sadistic beyond anything Gaia had ever seen.
The Crisis thrilled in toying with her. It loved to play and control and dance within the pain of its victims. She – It – wrapped silken tendrils around her mind, always so deceptively soft and delicate, soothing even. And She would touch and relax the children She lived in until they were limp in Her grasp. Then She would squeeze and squeeze and squeeze until they cried and begged and pleaded for just a moment’s respite. Then she would laugh, that eerily beautiful sound that was somehow reminiscent of home and hearth, but grimy and infested. She was like the rainbow scum that twirled upon the surface of oil-tainted rainwater.
And She had her.
It was like drowning in her own blood. She was desperate and helpless, unable to swim in a torrid, poisonous sea. She coughed and she choked and she clawed at herself and at the air. She was dying with each second, but she knew that she would never truly be allowed to die, not until the Crisis willed it. And if Its will was to continue this for all eternity, Aeris knew that It could.
But she wouldn’t submit. Not again.
Her arm was on fire. Vaguely, in her horrendously scattered mind, through blurred eyes, she wondered if it was even still there. Or had it melted off, wasted away to nothing but putrid black pus?
Still she fought and fought and fought.
The world around her tilted and spun in senseless, frenzied motions. Her body fell to pieces all around her until she was nothing but a rotted shell in a way that she had never, ever been. Her soul, her mind, still trapped in a world that was so, so black and empty. She still couldn’t draw breath; couldn’t move. There was no way to protect herself from the plague that consumed her from within.
Her skin fell away and her mind was shattered, broken, bleeding. She was skewered from within and there were claws and spears and glass against the inside of her chest and they were tearing at her heart and lungs with every second and ever spasm and she was dying dying dying-
But She wouldn’t let her die.
And she needed to breathe. She struggled desperately, but what was she struggling against?
Then she felt his hand on her and she moved by perfect instinct. She threw herself at him, not knowing if she even had a body to throw anymore. She clutched at his coat, at his arms, his hair.
He was the enemy and she was once the martyr in the apocalyptic fight against him, but what did any of that matter now? He was cruel and evil and her murderer. She hated him. She loathed him and the last thing she ever wanted to do was touch him.
But he was light and air and so sweet to her starved senses. He was her shield and her seraph.
And gods above what did it really matter? All the lines that separated them and all the ugly truths that would never be erased. All the manipulation and the lies and the terrible intent, they were nothing in this now, and what was life except one now and then the next? Heaven knew what would come tomorrow, and heaven could keep that knowledge. She just wanted to stop thinking, if only for a few precious moments.
She didn’t know why she’d been sent back to this life, or what the purpose in all of it was. Perhaps she had never known Gaia's plans; had always been a willing pawn. Maybe she was throwing herself headlong into his hands and his schemes, or maybe all of this was exactly as destiny intended. Maybe the Planet and the Cetra and the powers of the universe had scripted everything from the beginning of Creation.
Perhaps he was meant to fall and kill and hate and perhaps she had been destined to be a heroine. Perhaps they were all powerless pieces in a universal game of chess, but that didn’t quite ring true, did it?
Because in the end, it had been her choice to pray for Holy, as it had been her choice to return to this parody of life with Jenova.
As it was her choice to seek out this one moment of peace.
And it was her choice to choose him as she would, tomorrow be damned.
So it was her choice to cling to him and to finally, sweetly and desperately and deeply, kiss him.
And that was all that mattered.
.
.
.

AN: Thanks again to shetan83 and VenusBlade for beta-reading.
- 7
- 8
- 9
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Sepsis