Midgar Thearter 5002 and 3/4

>Darkness
>by littlemaiko

Tseng: *On P.A.* Rude...
Rude: Present!
Tseng: *On P.A.* This one is for you!
Rude: Really?
Reno: YOU FOUND ONE!
Rude: Yes!
Elena: You found a Reno/Rude?
Tseng: *On P.A.* Er...it’s not a Reno Rude...but...it is a Yaoi with Rude.
Rude: Then...who’s my partner?
Vincent: *walks in*
Rude: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Reno: Now I know how you guys feel... *covers ears*
Vincent: I’m only here for the beer afterwards.
Tseng: *On P.A.* As promised...begin...


>DESCRIPTION: I never thought this paring was possible... Vincent and
>Rude!! Yes, this story is a yaoi involving that beautiful Vinny and ever-
>grim-looking Rude.

Rude: I’m grim?
Vincent: I’m beautiful???
Reno: Rude’s stoic and silent...
Elena: And Vincent’s a pretty little vampire.
Vincent: I’m NOT a vampire.

> Um, I had an inspiration in AP Calculus class, during
>the mid-term exam. My brain must have been totally screwed. Sorry if

Reno: You’re brain must be really screwed if you have AP Calculus...
Rude: You’re just saying that because you didn’t pass regular math.
Reno: It was after lunch, I needed a nap.
Elena: Sure...
Vincent: Excuses, excuses...

>offend any Vincent or Rude fans! But, if you want to see Rude being totally sweet,
>this fic is for you! Enjoy!

Reno: Rude? Sweet???
Rude: I can be sweet...
Vincent: But the whole idea is that you are going to be sweet to me.
Elena: I hope they don’t show the rest of the Turks as jerks.
Vincent: *holds up a sign that says ‘Turks are JERKS!’ on it*
Rude: Nice, but you are one too.
Vincent: I know, but people tend to forget that, because of my dashing smile...*Smile*
(Cue fan-girl swoon... *SWOON*)


>Multiple sounds of war-cries and explosions echoed through the Cosmo
>Canyon. In a ragged clearing surrounded by dry trees and closed to the
>side by a river canyon, two opposing parties were having a violent showdown.

Elena: Say-a-what-a?
Rude: We are fighting. Plain and simple.
Elena: who?
Vincent: I would guess Avalanche and Shin-Ra.
Rude: True.

>Rude dodged an array of shots aimed at him, and took cover behind a tree.

Rude: Watch the gun, man...
Vincent: Hey, we haven’t fucked yet! We are still enemies.
Elena: *snicker*

>Seemingly without a delay, he threw a Molotov at his enemy. Not even Reno
>noticed the slight hesitation which flashed across the bald giant's face before
>his reprisal. Nor did anyone catch the sigh of relief he released seeing Vincent
>Valentine escape the harm.

Rude: Molotov? I threw that???
Vincent: Didn’t hurt me...
Elena: Nah-nah-nah-nah nahhhhhh nahhhhh!

>The battle was a heated one; the two Turks faced Cloud, Vincent, and
>Tifa , and countless blows and spells were exchanged. Now, after an
>hour or so of fighting, both sides were exhausted, running out of stamina.

Reno: After an hour of anything, I’d be out of steam.
Elena: Yeah, see the last few chapters... you come real fast...
Rude: *snickers*
Reno: HEY!
Vincent: I hope that I don’t come so fast.
Elena: Thirty years out of commission... I’d say you will come.
Rude: Quickly...
Vincent: TURKS ARE AGAINST ME!

>Through the corner of his dark lenses, Rude saw his redhead partner land a
>successful blow to the girl combatant's head, incapacitating her from the
>battle. Lady Luck was on the Turks' side; Cloud ran for Tifa's cover, and
>Vincent was left alone to fend away Rude.

Vincent: I’ll fend off Rude alright... sounds like I’ll fend him off in more ways than one.
Rude: Eh, I can’t complain, I mean... I am getting laid for once.
Reno: For a change.
Rude: Which reminds me, you owe me seventy four gil... Reno
Reno: FOR WHAT?
Rude: Our last bar crawl, I paid when you were so plastered you didn’t know where your wallet was...and what’s in your pockets is your own business... I ain’t going in there after money.
Elena: Don’t blame you. You might find a little something.
Vincent: And we mean little.
Reno: What is it, pick on Reno day?
Elena: Yeah, didn’t you get the memo?

>"Cloud! Take Tifa and go!" The handsome vampire ordered his
>young comrade.

Vincent: I am not a vampire.
Elena: Ah, but you are handsome...no doubt about it.
Reno: Elena, you are giving him an ego.

>"But Vincent!?" The blond ex-SOLDIER returned unsurely. He had no time
>to object further, though, for Reno resumed his attacks. Taking limp Tifa,
>Cloud ran off without a second look back. The redhead contemplated whether
>to pursue, but shook his head leisurely and turned to Vincent.

Reno: Boy, I’m a jerk.
Vincent: *still holding up the ‘Turks are JERKS’ sign* I rest my case.
Rude: You aren’t that mean, really Reno.
Elena: Yeah, most of the time, he’s lazy!
Reno: *sniffle* It IS pick on me day...

>"Are you really stupid or just plain full of yourself?" Reno asked the
>vampire, mockery written all over.

Vincent: Damn it, I’m not a vampire.
Rude: We know...
Vincent: But I must be really stupid...to go one on two with two younger Turks.
Elena: Younger?
Rude: Elena, he was a Turk about thirty years ago.
Elena: He looks good for his age then.
Vincent: *bows* Thank you.


>"...I'm not sure myself." Vincent answered with a cryptic smile. He pushed
>back the disarrayed bangs with a graceful motion, and aimed his Winchester
>at the two men. "But I will not let you go after them."

Rude: Wow, that looks really good.
Vincent: I am always graceful...
Elena: And one of the most popular dead guys in history of video games.
Reno: What sort of ego are you giving them?

>"He he, I like your attitude. C'mon Rude, let's take him out!"

Vincent: You like my attitude?
Reno: Eh, it’s a Turk-itude.
Vincent: Reno, you are wearing one of my old uniforms.
Reno: YOU WERE A TURK?
Elena: Welcome to planet ‘Planet’ Reno...glad you could join us.
Rude: Yes, welcome to Planet...

>Reno swished his electro rod, and charged. His bald-headed partner set
>his mouth in a grim line; there was a definite hesitation this time. The redhead
>took notice, and eyed Rude strangely.

Reno: Rude, is something wrong?
Rude: Nothing...

>"Rude? What's with you!?"
>"...Nothing." The giant shook his head shortly.

Elena: That was scary...
Rude: I’m a giant?
Reno: A gentle...giant.
Elena: You too been writing your OWN yaoi?
Reno: Er...ugh.
Rude: We said we’d... write our own yaoi.

>"Give me a hand, then!" The smaller Turk urged impatiently. Once again,
>he attacked Vincent, this time for real. The vampire intercepted the rapid
>swings of the deadly stick with skillful shots. Reno stopped his attacks in
>time to shield off the bullets, counting six and waiting for the enemy to reload.

Reno: Hey, even Turks have to have some diginty...
Vincent: Not much, I know.
Rude: We didn’t say HOW much, we just said some....
Reno: You alright Elena?
Elena: I’m just...unsure where to jump in today.
Reno: Still recovering from your sack session with Tseng?
Elena: *blush* Shut up! *kicks Reno in shin*
Reno: OUCH!

>Vincent backed away after emptying the stocked ammunition, hastily reaching
>for the spare rounds. He was not granted time to recharge, however; just as
>he pulled out the new bullets, Rude closed in from his side and maneuvered
>a powerful punch. The iron fist grazed the vampire's cape as he sidestepped.

Vincent: Easy...if a bull charges towards you, side step.
Rude: I’m a bull?
Reno: *Snort*
Vincent: *as a matador* Ole! Toro! TORO! *waves cape*
Rude: *snorts like bull and charges*
Vincent: *pulls cape away* OLE!
Elena and Reno: *Clap*

>Rude grabbed the flowing garb and yanked violently, toppling the lithe
>enemy forward. Vincent lost his footing and rolled upon the ground.
>The bullets cluttered across the dirt, useless.

Vincent: Damn...
Elena: Scatter!
Rude: He’s GOT THE FOOTBALL! *tackles Vincent*
Reno: Pretty much...
Vincent: Get off of me you big bald lug!
Rude: *stands up, sniffling*
Reno: Oh no, you said the ‘b’ word...
Rude: *sniffle, sniffle*

>"You knew this would happen, didn't ya?" Reno pointed the tip of the
>nightstick close to Vincent's face. The handsome vampire remained on the
>ground, unmoving, his scarlet gaze fixed on his enemies. Slowly, resignation
>spread across the pale countenance.

Vincent: Yes I did know that would happen...go ahead. Shoot. And I’m STILL not a vampire.
Elena: He doesn’t have the guts.
Rude: I know he doesn’t.
Reno: *growls* Don’t tempt me, I’ll really shoot him.

>"Go ahead. Kill me." The low voice was hollow, devoid of emotions.
>Vincent relaxed, and awaited the finishing blow. Reno was correct;
>there was no way that Vincent could win against the two Turks, armed with
>only one hand-rifle. He was not much of a combatant anyway, and his
>limit breaks were not easily activated. Yes, he knew that he would be defeated.

Vincent: Who you calling weak punk?
Rude: You really do have an air of weakness about you...
Reno: He’s stronger than that...
Elena: It’s part of the Porn...
Vincent: I am very strong... just in this fan-fiction it appears I’m weak.
Reno: So, I’m a jerk... and Vincent’s weak...and Rude is grim...
Rude: How odd...


>"Alrighty, then!" Reno raised the electro rod, ready to strike down. Vincent
>closed his eyes.
>"Wait."

Reno: I have to fart. *farts*
Elena: *sitting beside Rude, dies* gah!
Rude: *laughs*
Vincent: *casts Life2 on Elena*
Elena: *gasps for air*

>The redhead Turk paused in mid-blow, and looked at Rude. The interruption
>was sudden and unexpected; besides, the bald man was never the one to speak
>up like that.

Reno: Rude never talks...
Rude: Yes I do...
Reno: You hear something Elena?
Elena: *snicker*
Rude: *fumes* I...AM...TALKING...

>"Dammit, Rude! Why are you stopping me?!" Reno asked with irritation.
>"...I," Rude began, uncertain of what to say. He couldn't tell his partner how
>he felt, really, about the enemy vampire.
>Reno will kill me if I tell him that I care for Vincent. No, he'll kill Vincent
>first, then me.

Reno: Damn straight.
Vincent: *jumping up and down* I...am not...a vampire! *trips on cape, lands on face* ouch...

>The darkly attractive foe had stolen Rude's heart at first sight, back at
>Nibelheim. Following Cloud's party, the two Turks had snuck into the Shinra
>Mansion and seen the whole event concerning Vincent's entrance to the group.
>Even from some distance away, Rude was shaken by the mysterious young
>man's gothic beauty.

Reno: I prefer my Rude shaken, not stirred.
Elena: To Reno, 007 isn’t his number, it’s his I.Q.
Rude: *snickers*

>"Rude, you gotta have hell of a good reason to stop me from killing this
>one!" Reno growled menacingly, his semi-anorexic frame straightening
>taller into more formidable stance.

Reno: Semi...anorexic?
Rude: Small, slender... slim, delicate, lithe... thin...
Reno: ENOUGH!

>Rude saw Vincent staring at him with an amused look. Their eyes met, one
>set nervous and other coolly observing. It was Vincent who looked away
>first, probably having dismissed Rude as insignificant.
>What should I say?

Rude: Go away. I should say that.
Reno: *laughs*

>Rude searched through his mind frantically for a smooth lie. For a moment,
>he wished for a tactful tongue like Tseng's.

Reno: He does?
Rude: Sometimes I do wish I had a tongue like Tseng’s...
Tseng: *on P.A.* Heard that!
Reno: Oh go get shish-ka-Tsenged by Sephiroth again.
Tseng: *on P.A.* Remind me to dock your pay twice this week.
Reno: Yes sir.

>However, the bald Turk did not have to come up with a reply. While the
>three men were preoccupied with their small problem, a large behemoth had
>approached the clearing. Hungry for live flesh, the giant monster roared at its
> newly-found preys.
>"Oh shit! Great timing..." Reno spat out, quickly readying his weapon at
>the demonic mutation.

Rude: yes, good timing.
Vincent: For who? I’m about to die...either by anorexic boy or a raging monster...
Rude: Which one is Reno?
Vincent: The raging monster.
Reno: *glares at Vincent*

>Vincent got up to his feet, snatching some bullets and loading them into
>the Winchester. He adapted to the new situation immediately; the monster
>was a common enemy, and a formidable one at that.
>Rude half sighed with relief at the interruption, but knew there was no time to
>linger upon the gratitude to Fate. He took the fighting stance, shuffling his
>legs in small boxing steps.
>GRRRRRR!

Reno: I’m fine, not saying anything about my friend the mountain lion here...
Elena: no using quotes from other fictions...
Reno: Where’s the rule about that?
Rude: There is none.

>The purple monster charged at the three like a rabid bull. Its horns dug
>up the soil, as Reno and Vincent dodged to the sides. Rude delivered a full-force
>kick at the behemoth's neck. The monster didn't even budge; angrier than ever,
>it bared its fangs and tried to catch the tall Turk in its jaws.
>"Watch out, Rude!" Reno cried, but knew it would be in vain. The
>behemoth was too quick. Rude watched the monster advance toward him,
>notion of death becoming sickeningly real.
>Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Vincent: *acts like he’s blowing off his gun*

>The shots fired without a warning, and scored upon the mutation's head. It
>reared back, though apparently not immobilized. Rude fixed his eyes on
>Vincent, who had just saved his life. The slender vampire was reloading
>the shells and aiming the gun at the behemoth once again. This time,
>the monster was well aware, and it charged blindly.


Vincent: I am *NOT* a vampire.
Rude: *laugh*

>"Vincent!" The cry was out of his mouth before Rude even realized. In
>front of his very eyes, the cape-clad man was run over by the behemoth's bulk.
>Rude saw red.

Reno: Not just Vincent’s cape?
Rude: *growls* Monster...hurt... Vincent... *SNORT*
Vincent: *hands cape to Reno* Here... you be the matador now.
Reno: *glances at cape, gulps*
Rude: *snorts and charges towards Reno*
Reno: *runs*
Elena: *laughing* So...how’s Vincent.
Vincent: Dead and loving it.

>"Rude!?" Reno stood awed as his muscular partner tackled the monster five
>times his mass.
>The behemoth was stunned by the sudden attack, but it was not intimidated at all.
>It turned on the bald Turk, after giving Vincent another good stomp; that made
>Rude berserk further. With a vicious yell, the man literally stabbed his hand
>into the monster's side. The tough skin broke through, but in the process
>damaged Rude's fingers. Rude couldn't care less.

Vincent: Rabid Rude!
Elena: RUN RENO RUN! He’s right behind you!
Reno: *running around the room, cape flowing behind him* I KNOW THAT!
Rude: *snort, snarl*

>GYAAAAAAH!
>The mutation gave a deafening roar before rolling down to the ground. It
>struggled violently, taking down Rude also, but the Turk held on, his arm
>embedded to the monster's innards to the shoulder. After what seemed like
>forever, the behemoth ceased to move, blood pouring out of its wound as well
>as its mouth. Rude sat straddled on top of the monstrous body, and slowly
>withdrew his gut-stained arm.

Reno: *glares at fiction* Eww...
Rude: Gross...
Elena: Hmm...who wants roasted Behemoth?
Vincent: I’ll pass...
Elena: Come on, we’ll have mashed Vincent with it...
Vincent: ........
Rude: ........

>"Rude, man, that was reckless and stupid!" Reno approached his victorious

Rude: But you do stuff like that all the time, Reno...
Reno: I do not.
Rude: Do too...
Reno: Do not...
Elena: Do too.
Rude: Do too.
Reno: Alright, alright, I do...I do...

>partner, wincing as he noticed the tattered state of one muscular arm. Rude's
> nails had broken off, and some fingers were twisted at impossible angles.

Rude: Ouch...
Elena: That looks nasty.

>Rude ignored the redhead companion, his attention only on the limp body of
>Vincent. The bald Turk hurried to the fallen man's side, buckling to his knees
>in panic.
>Don't die, don't die, don't die...

Vincent: I don’t die...
Rude: You don’t?
Vincent: No, fanfictions like this one keep me alive, and laid.
Reno: Fictions keep me laid.

>With the unstained hand, Rude pressed against the side of the delicate
>neck. Finding a pulse, he sighed and went on to check out the bodily injuries.
> Vincent was wheezing out ragged breaths, single trail of blood trickling down the
>side of his mouth. When Rude tried to wipe it off, Vincent went into a fit of
>agonized coughs, and more of the red substance colored the pale lips. Rude took
>off his sunglasses, and narrowed his eyes at the suffering man.

Elena: Rude...without...sunglasses... *shudder*
Vincent: Ouch...I’m in pain.

>Broken ribs. Punctured lung, possibly both lungs. Other internal injuries?

Rude: Ouch...
Reno: How do you know that...
Rude: Turks Training.
Reno: I must have been drunk that day.
Rude: You were.

>"Vincent? Vincent, hang on." Rude spoke softly to the vampire. He took out a
>Cure materia, and began casting the highest possible healing magic.

Reno: Cure 2 and a half?
Elena: *sighs*
Vincent: Why is he curing me?
Rude: It’s a Vincent/Rude yaoi, we have to do something before we get to the porn.
Elena: I like this build up, it’s got potential for major... *squee*

>All that time, Reno stood watching his partner, a look of puzzlement on his
>narrow face. Rude was acting very strangely; it was so unlike the quiet giant
>to lose his cool. And it was so unprofessional to try save an enemy. The redhead
>narrowed his eyes disapprovingly, but decided to let it go just this once.

Reno: Besides, Rude hasn’t been laid in a while.
Rude: Yes I have.
Elena: What was her name?
Reno: NOT the authoress...
Rude: er...............

>"Rude, I'm going back to Elena and Tseng. You have a day to catch up
>with us."
>"Thanks, Reno."

Rude: Reno’s a jerk.
Reno: Yes, in this fiction, I am a jerk.
Elena: I HAVE THAT RECORDED!
Rude: .......
Elena: Subtract the ‘in this fiction’
Reno: YOU WOULDN’T!

>Reno didn't answer to the gratitude, and walked away in his usual slow steps.
********************
>The darkness engulfed Vincent as he struggled to escape the sickening hands which
>violated him. He screamed over and over, not begs for mercy but more so disgusted
>cries. His surroundings suddenly lit up as if by lightening, the face of malicious
>rapist vividly illuminated.

Vincent: *shudder* Hojo...er...
Rude: He actually did that?
Vincent: *blank stare* ..................
Rude: *blank stare* ...............
Vincent: .............
Rude: .............
Vincent: ............?
Rude: ...........!
Vincent: ...............
Rude: ............ ..............
Elena: What are they doing?
Rude: Communicating. And I see your point Vincent.
Vincent: Knew you would.

>Hojo!

Vincent: Knew it...

>Vincent shouted at the hunchbacked scientist, who snickered above his
>immobile body. That moment, the dream and the reality crashed.
********************
>"Wake up!"

Rude: No...five more minutes Mommy...
Reno: Get up now, you’ll be late for school!
Elena: Honestly... I just work with these idiots.

>A light slap across a cheek fully restored Vincent's consciousness. He blinked in a
> state of daze, and found the familiar bald-headed man looking into his face. Their
>faces were uncomfortably close, noses almost touching. Vincent looked at the
>Turk's harsh face, for the first time without the dark glasses.

Vincent: Wow...nice eyes...need a breath mint though.
Rude: Hey!

>"...Rude?" Vincent whispered dumbly. His senses gradually returned, along
>with the sickening images in the dream. He became fully aware of Rude's
>closeness, and dubbed it with Hojo's presence. Automatically, the vampire turned
>his face to the side, looking insecure.

Vincent: You mean I think that Rude is Hojo?
Rude: How DARE YOU!
Hojo: *walking by* Heard that!
Vincent: *hiss, snarl, grumble, growl*
Rude: *Grabs gun and fires it through window*
Hojo: *falls over* DAMN IT!

>"Are you all right?" Rude asked, sitting back to give the other man
>more space.

Vincent: I’m seriously injured, I’m NOT alright.

>"I..., what happened...?" Vincent tried sitting up, but failed. His insides throbbed
>with strange sore, and he felt weak all over. The memory of being ran over by
>a huge behemoth dully replayed in his mind. He looked around, and saw that he and
>Rude were in a hut of some sort, Vincent upon a bed and Rude kneeling beside it.
>The place looked deserted. Small flame warmed the dusty fireplace.

Vincent: *flatly* How romantic......
Rude: Isn’t it.
Elena: you suck monkey balls, Yes! Monkey balls!
Rude: Where did that come from?
Reno: Rude is going to be sucking Vampire balls here soon.
Vincent: I AM NOT A FUCKING VAMPIRE!
Elena: Soon you will be fucking though.

>"...You were injured by a monster. I cast Cure, so most damage should be gone.
>I found this place while looking for a shelter. Does your chest still hurt?" Rude
>said everything in one breath, thinking those were the most words he had
>spoken in a longest time. He was rather proud of himself; with Vincent, he felt
>comfortable talking.

Reno: Holy shit, it talks...
Rude: I talk all the time, Reno.
Reno: I know, I just like pushing your buttons.

>"A little. ...I should thank you." The handsome vampire wiped cold sweat from
>his forehead; he noticed that his headband had been removed. With other hand,
>he checked the rest of his body, and found himself without his cloak and belts.
>His boots and metal gauntlet had been taken away, too. He felt naked, although
>the black shirt and pants still clung to him. Ever since the unspeakable
>horrors at the ShinRa mansion, he couldn't stand being without the all-
>concealing attire.
>"Give me back my clothes."
>"?" Rude gave Vincent a puzzled look.
>"My cloak, gauntlet, belts, boots, and headband. You took them off, didn't you?"

Vincent: *looking at metal hand* It can’t come off... *wiggles fingers* It IS my hand...
Rude: It...it is?
Vincent: Most people don’t understand that, it is my arm...it can’t come off.

>Vincent sent a frantic searching gaze, and found his belongings neatly folded and
>placed by the fire. He rolled to one side, and tried to get off the bed to retrieve
>them. However, a pang of real pain suffocated him as he sat up; clutching his chest,
>the vampire sagged forward.

Vincent: OUCH!
Rude: ... That... hurt.

>Rude caught Vincent before he fell off the bed. Ignoring the protests, the bald
>Turk forced the slender man back against the sheets.
>Horrific de javu made Vincent cringe; in his mind, Rude's big, warm hands
>exchanged with Hojo's bony, cold ones. Crimson eyes wide with new fear,
>the vampire began to struggle against the restraints. More pain exploded inside
>his thin chest, and he groaned.

Vincent: I can’t believe how I am so messed up.
Reno: Aren’t you messed up as is?
Vincent: Yeah...but there is a limit you know. Just like there is a limit to Reno’s laziness...
Reno: *snore*

>"Vincent?" Rude loosened his grip on the lithe body, and watched the
>young man writhe in agony.

Vincent: I’m not young...I’m really fifty seven, I just look twenty seven.
Rude: You aren’t a vampire either.
Vincent: this author likes to call me that...
Elena: You are...how old?
Rude: ........he’s older than us...

>Damn, I didn't set his ribs straight!
>The Turk realized the problem, and cursed his thoughtlessness. Hastily, he
>reached out and began unbuttoning Vincent's high-collared shirt, intent to check
>the injury again.
>Vincent screamed at Rude's advance, mistaking the action in his panic. All logic
>and coolness lost, the vampire clawed at other man's arm, almost sobbing. His
>lungs were on fire, and each intake of breath led to painful groans. Torment
>pushed his mind over the edge; tears swelled in the blood-red eyes, and
>trailed down the delicate cheeks.

Vincent: Since when am I such a wuss?
Rude: two paragraphs ago...
Reno: three paragraphs.

>"No! No! Let go!"
>"Vincent!? Be still, you are hurting yourself! I just want to check... ugh!" Rude
>grunted when neatly clipped nails drew blood from his arm. Slightly annoyed, he
>caught both frail wrists with one grip and pinned them over the hysterical
>vampire's jet-black head. With a free hand, he quickly undid the small buttons
>and bared the pale upper torso. Vincent shrieked something incomprehensible,
>and began to hyperventilate.
>"...gasp... N-No, no, no! ...wheeze..."
>"What is wrong with you? I'm not... Vincent?!"
>Rude noticed Vincent trembling. In the watery red gaze, he saw fear;
>through troublesome gasps, the vampire was mumbling objections to a
>recognizable name over and over.
>Hojo.

Vincent: Really, that name bothers me...
Rude: It bothers me.
Reno: *Shudder*
Elena: I think he’s cute.
*Cue anime sweat drop for all men*
Vincent: ..................
Elena: Joking!

>The Turk finally understood the reason for Vincent's panic. He could imagine
>what sort of sickening experience the vampire had suffered from the sadistic
>scientist. The thought wrung pity from Rude, as well as sizzling jealousy.

Reno: Jealousy?
Rude: No... mostly pity.
Vincent: Don’t...remind me.

>That crazy SOB! Did he violate Vincent? How dare anyone lay a finger on my
>beautiful Vincent, make him suffer so? Damn, I have to get him to lay still..
>Oh yeah, a tranquilizer would do...

Rude: I swear, my mind is racing in this fiction...
Reno: I know.
Vincent: someone’s hyper!
Elena: Someone’s horny!

>Gently, Rude wiped the tears off of white cheeks. He took out a vial of tranquilizer
>from one pocket, and took the contents in his mouth. Normally, during the battle,
>it would be used with special bullets to be shot into an enemy. In this situation,
>however, Rude knew that the internal taking would suffice. Catching Vincent's
>pointed chin, the bald Turk forced the drug into other man's mouth, refusing to
>break the lip-lock until Vincent swallowed the liquid.

Rude: Kissy face!
Vincent: *grabs Rude and kisses him*
Reno: *LAUGHS*
Elena: *points*

>Vincent fought the kiss, but he couldn't help drinking the substance. He felt
>defeated as the tasteless medicine traveled down his throat. The effect of the
>tranquilizer kicked in immediately, rendering his mind numb and muscles
>powerless. Unable to keep up the struggles, he continued to sob helplessly.
>."I'm sorry." Rude released the vampire's wrists from the iron grip. The frail
>arms just lay limp on the sheets, fingers weakly curling up.

Rude: No I’m not...
Vincent: Yes you are...
Reno: *snicker*

>".......n-no......, ...jo..."
>"Vincent, I'm not Hojo. Look at me."
>Rude cupped the beautiful, ashen face, and looked into it. Vincent was so broken,
>so weak now; the bald Turk doubted anything he said would help the crying
>vampire. Pity and the dominating urge fuzzed in Rude's mind, two opposite
>feelings mingling to become one strong desire.

Vincent: I AM NOT A VAMPIRE!
Reno: We know, we know...

>"I'm not Hojo. I love you, Vincent."
>With one large hand, Rude groped Vincent's chest, searching for the
>misplaced ribs. He found them, and tugged at them to straighten them into the
>right positions. Vincent gave off primitive screams of agony at the necessary
>pain; his numb body, however, only allowed him to twitch slightly. While he
>suffered, the Turk took out the healing materia and this time, cured him
>completely. The pain dissipated, but the hysteria remained.

Vincent: I am always hysterical.
Rude: You know how to fix that?
Reno: LEMON!
Elena: Lemooooooooooooooooooooooooon!

>Rude silenced Vincent's whimpers with an ardent kiss, slipping his
>tongue into the unwelcoming warm mouth and lapping the inside most skillfully.

Rude: I’ve had practice... when?
Reno: With me, handsome...my gentle giant you...
Vincent: *laughs*
Rude: *blush, glare*

>The Turk's hands pulled off the vampire's shirt, and caressed the porcelain
>body with gentle touch. Vincent remained rigid in the strong embrace, his
>mind still drowned in the dark memories.
********************
>Hojo was acting strange. Vincent felt the scientist's hands fondle his skin
>with unmistakable love, and was confused by how different this assault was
>from the past ones. No, this encounter was not even an assault. Warm lips
>enclosed around a nipple, and Vincent drew in a sharp breath. He anticipated
>a vicious bite, an attack he was too accustomed to. However, the pain
>never arrived.

Rude: I don’t bite...hard.
Reno: Piss him off and he might.
Vincent: he’s... so gentle...and sweet...
Elena: Vincent, you said you were dead?
Vincent: Yeah...
Elena: well, something is rising from the dead!
Vincent: *crosses legs* hmpth...
Rude: nice...

>Hojo? Why can't I see him? No, this can't be... Hojo.
>A hand slipped into Vincent's crotch, and he gave off a small moan. Hojo
>never gave him pleasure; who was this, then? Pushing aside all his panic and
>fear, the vampire concentrated to see the blurry face above him.
********************
>Rude noticed that his lithe companion had ceased to struggle. Tear-rimmed
>red eyes were looking at him, no longer fogged with previous madness.
>"Rude..." Vincent whispered raggedly, and was answered with a soft kiss to
>a cheek. "Why?" He had to ask. Rude had shed the Turk uniform down to only
>black boxers, and was most intimately fondling his naked body. Strangely,
>Vincent didn't feel fear or disgust against the teasing digits, only confusion.

Vincent: This...is so hot...
Rude: Want to see how gentle I can actually be?
Reno: No sleeping with the enemy...
Rude: YOU can, but I can’t?
Elena: *laugh*

>"I love you, Vincent, ever since I first saw you." The Turk resumed the
>movement of his large hand between the vampire's legs. "I know I'm taking
>advantage of the situation... but, you are too tempting."

Rude: You are tempting... *grabs Vincent and kisses him*
Vincent: *gasps*
Elena: Live action yaoi special?

>"...oh God, s-stop..." Vincent protested weakly. He tried to move his arms, but they
>lay useless to the sides of his head, still under the alteration of the
>sedative. Rude's fingers traced along his sex earnestly, coaxing more moans
>from him.

Reno: Get a room you two.
Vincent: Fuck you.
Reno: Someone already has... see the last few chapters.
Elena: I’m taken Reno...
Reno: Damn it.

>"I d-don't... want..." The beautiful vampire managed to object so far.
>"Yes you do." Rude's lips teased one pink fruit upon Vincent's chest, hand driving
> the lithe man over the edge at the same time. Vincent cried with
>suppressed passion, and released in the Turk's hand. Nibbling a
>reddened nipple, Rude murmured, "You want to be loved, Vincent. You
>yearn for it, don't you?"

Vincent: I came already???
Reno: Thank Fictions for multiple male orgasms...
Rude: I’ll say cheers to that.
Elena: Rude, get Vincent out of your lap...
Vincent: I’m comfy.

>The words, not meant to harm, stabbed at the vampire's heart like a knife. The
>truth of it, the awful truth that he was never loved, that he had been forced to
>give up on love, hurt Vincent like a real wound. He let out a sob at the
>revelation he never wished to reach.
>"...N-No one ever loved me." Vincent whispered through shallow, rapid breaths.
>"Not even L- Lucrecia. After w-what Hojo did to me... I'm not worthy...
>a-anymore..." He couldn't continue, silenced by his own weeping. Rude tightened
>the embrace, warming him.

Rude: *hug*
Elena: Vince... isn’t your seat getting lumpy?
Vincent: It was ‘lumpy’ when I sat down.
Elena: *sighs*

>"You are more than worthy of anybody's love, Vincent." The bald Turk
>kissed his own hand, which was drenched with the vampire's discharge. The
>nectar was bittersweet with saline aftertaste. He traced the moist fingers down
>Vincent's waist, whispering sincerely into the beautiful man's ear. "Does my love
>mean anything to you?"

Vincent: *smiles*
Reno: Tasty Rude?
Rude: Yep.

>"...I don't k-know." Vincent answered with a choked voice. He didn't know what he
>was feeling; Rude was treating him kindly, with passion, possibly with love, but
>the man was a Turk, henchman of ShinRa. The thought made Vincent sad, and
>he wept some more.
>"Why do you cry so much?" Rude wiped at the vampire's eyes.
>"Y-You are... from ShinRa. How c-can you love me?" Vincent eyed the bald man
>with half- accusing stare. In return, he received a kiss and a hand searching
>between his legs once again. The recent release had made him more sensitive to
>the touch, and Vincent felt as if he was burning up with pleasure. Small moans
>escaped his throat, muffled by the non-stopping kiss, as he was taken to the
>second climax.

Vincent: Wow...a second climax?
Rude: More... more and more.
Reno: Now I’m horny too...

>"Our stance has nothing to do with how I feel for you. Sure, we'd have to fight,
>maybe even try kill each other. But that's only until the whole Sephiroth
>thing ends." Ever professional, Rude said, and added, "No grudge will be
>held after that, I hope?"

Vincent: NOT at all... *groans*

>"...No." Vincent returned low. "But that doesn't excuse you doing this to me now."
>"I guess not." Rude nodded simply. He took the vampire's pale face in his hands,
>and looked into it with a serious gaze. "Do you want me to stop?"
>Vincent blushed crimson, his answer evident in the neediness of his eyes. Although
>he was still unsure of what he thought of Rude, his body was screaming to be
>fulfilled with what was being offered. Deep flush touching both pale
>cheeks, Vincent whispered, "No. I... want you."

Rude: Glad to hear it...
Vincent: Actually, I want you now...
Reno: GET A ROOM!

>"Glad to hear that."

Elena: This is just creepy...creepier than Vampire-Boy over there.
Vincent: I’m...wait...Hojo spliced me with several things, so I could be a vampire...
Rude: You wouldn’t have figured it out until... now?
Vincent: It’s hard to think with an erection pressing into my rear and my own nagging me, while watching myself get fucked to bliss...
Reno: He’s got a point.

>Rude smiled for the first time in their acquaintance. It was a small one, yet it
>warmed all the harsh lines and grim features, giving the bald-headed Turk
>a whole new impression. Vincent felt himself give in to the loving countenance.
>When the Turk lowered his lips in another kiss, Vincent kissed back the best he
>could in the numbly drugged state.
>Warm hands and lips pleasured Vincent like nothing else in the past. As Rude's
>large, throbbing member entered him, a single tear slid down Vincent's
>face. Pain was inevitably there, but so were pleasure, passion, ... and love.

Reno: *laughs* LEMON!
Elena: *Bangs gong* LEMON!
Rude: *was sitting in front of gong* DAMN YOU!
Vincent: *under chair* I need new pants...
Rude: Is that from the gong or because of the thought of my huge throbbing...
Vincent: GONG!

********************
>The two men lay next to each other, Rude's arm wrapped around Vincent's waist.
>Outside, the night was slowly breaking to day.
>"I have to go. Will you be all right?" Regretfully, Rude slipped out of the
>bed.
>"The tranquilizer is wearing off. I'll be fine." Vincent waved one dull hand, and
>gave a thin smile to his lover. "Rude...?"
>"Yeah?"
>"Don't let yourself be killed, whether by Cloud or Sephiroth or... me." The last
>word was the most emphasized, and a shadow flickered in the vampire's scarlet gaze.

Vincent: Still not a vampire.
Reno: Or are you?
Vincent: .............

>His voice shook a little as he continued. "I don't want to kill you, but I might have
>to. Please, defend yourself."
>"I will. Don't let me kill you, either, Vincent." After a pain-filled smile, Rude
>fully dressed himself in the Turks outfit, and put on his sunglasses. "Until next
>time, Vincent. I love you." He advanced to the door.
>"Rude."
>"Yes?"
>"Thank you... for your love."
>"No need, Vincent."
>The door opened and closed quietly. Vincent stared at the empty doorway for a
>short moment; his skin was still remembering the warmness of the bald Turk.

Vincent: *hugs Rude* this is so sweet... needed more lemon though.
Reno: That was it?
Rude: No! I need to be laid! DETAIL!
Vincent: I can give you more...

>With a yearning sigh, the vampire stood to his wobbly feel and collected his
>clothes from the floor. He wiped off the remnants of the intimate encounter with the
>sheets, and dressed in the flowing, concealing garb.

Vincent: Hiding me from the world...
Reno: Why?
Vincent: *shrug* I don’t know, why am I so philosophical and so dashing in Advent Children?
Reno: We are in that movie too... and might I say, we all look good.
Elena: *clears throat*
Rude: well, all but one. Elena’s not in the movie at all...
Vincent: *chuckles* Elena, even RUFUS is in the movie!
Elena: Shut up and wait for the release... so we can see who is IN it for sure.
Tseng: *On P.A.* I’m not dead...
Vincent: I know, I get to kill you in Dirge of Ceberus...
Tseng: *gulp*
Reno: Can we end this fiction now?

>The handsome vampire slowly approached the door, and exited the hut with
>heavy steps. The departure marked the beginning of the reality where he was
>once again ordained to battle against Rude.
>"Back to enemies, aren't we, Rude?" Vincent whispered to himself as he took
>up the Winchester and loaded it with new bullets. He had no intention of going
>against the roles the Fate had placed him and Rude in this Sephiroth intrigue.
>With a look of resignation, he began his short journey in search for the rest of his
>party, whom he figured would be searching for him, too.
>THE END

>What did you think of this story? Nice? Horrible? Or whatever? Please send
>your response to littlemaiko.

Rude: That...was it?
Vincent: Even I’m disappointed.
Reno: That build up was good...but... the lemon
Elena: leaves some to be desired...doesn’t it?
Rude: Okay, how about we go out, me and Vincent get smashed and we re-write this thing?
Vincent: *nod nod*
Elena: *laugh*
Tseng: *on P.A.* BEER BREAAAAAAAK!
Elena: Waaaaaaait, we have to do our...
Rude: right...first, we MST in love...
Reno: We only MST in fun...
Elena: And we MST those we think are truly good fictions.
Vincent: And now, I am going to get laid...
Rude: *BLUSH*
Tseng: Beer first. Laid later...