Misery's Son | By : Pixxit Category: Final Fantasy VIII > General Views: 721 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Seein’ Red
Follow the leader now… Swallow your pride and drown…
He stood there, in all his stoic glory, for what seemed like
hours while the man who’d taught him what it meant to truly feel slumped before
him on his knees, his head hanging pitifully. Squall felt the first telltale
pinprick of the arrow pierce his heart, and it stung as
though it were coated in poison; the venom of years of hollow disappointment,
all of it belonging solely to Seifer Almasy. Only now it belonged to Squall, too.
It was then that Squall’s pent up rage reared its ugly head. Someone had
done to Seifer what Seifer
had done to him and he didn’t like it. Something had happened to his longtime
rival, something that had broken him and yet here he was. Whole and golden and
perfect, but was he? The bitter tears that were leaving tracks across his
cheeks told a different story. Where was Seifer’s
self-confidence now? Who had taken it from him?
He knew that there was a hell of a lot that Seifer
wasn’t telling him. Not really a lie, unless you can call concealing the truth
a lie. Lies of omission. Squall didn’t believe in
them. Some things were meant to be hidden. But this…whatever… that Seifer had endured surpassed even those simple little lies
that Squall could have overlooked. Someone had taken away a part of Seifer and had never given it back and Squall was willing
to bet that Kiros knew more than he let on.
Looking down at Seifer, whose tears had since
dried, kneeling brokenly at Squall’s feet, still clinging to him like his
sanity depended on it, Squall swallowed past the lump in his throat. Yes, he
loved him. So fucking what? He’d deny it to anyone who asked but he’d be damned
if he’d deny it to himself any longer. And all because of the
murderous rage that rushed through his veins crying for retribution.
Someone had blackened Seifer’s soul, even more so
than he’d done all by himself and Squall would seek revenge in his place. For he had a horrible feeling that Seifer
had done his share of killing already. It was time to help Seifer unburden his conscience, and if he had to take a few
lives to make it happen, then so be it. He was going to be the one to give Seifer back his life, and not in a handful of broken,
jagged pieces.
Kiros would tell him what he wanted to know. And
he wouldn’t have to ask more than once.
Squall tightened his fingers in Seifer’s hair once
more, marveling at its silky texture when it looked so unmoving. It slid like
silk through his fingers and he closed his eyes, savoring it. Why did no one
ever tell him how much it hurt to love someone? Squall only hoped that spilling
a little blood would appease the devil in him today. He was going to face Seifer’s demons, and he could only imagine how terrible it
would be.
He stepped back slightly, releasing his hold on Seifer
who looked up in surprise. Surprise because Squall was letting him go, or
surprise because he’d held him so close in the first place, Squall didn’t know.
He supposed it didn’t really matter since he didn’t plan on speaking about this
again.
He turned slowly, almost as an afterthought, operating on autopilot now and
bent to retrieve the two forgotten blades that lay in the grass. Almost
symbolic in their abandonment, Squall shook his head. He always saw the hidden
meaning, when no one else could.
"Get yourself together. I’ll take these in to Kiros."
His distant tone wasn’t lost on Seifer and he didn’t
raise his head in an attempt to meet Squall’s eyes. What could he say anyway?
He’d humbled himself, disgraced himself, revealed the coward that lurked inside.
The one he’d thought he’d hidden so well. Squall would never meet his eyes
again. He might as well crawl back into a sewer somewhere, since it was what he
seemed destined for.
Squall must have sensed what he was thinking because he paused near the
conservatory’s door, the slight, sheathed blades hefted easily within his
grasp.
"Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be back later." It was not a request.
Seifer acknowledged him with silence. Acquiesced with his lack of argument. Squall heard his
agreement, unspoken as it was and he moved through the glass doors with as much
grace as he could manage with Seifer Almasy’s tears still drying on his skin.
***
"Where are you going with that look on your face, little lion?" Kiros’ light, superior tone wasn’t something Squall was in
the mood for at the moment, if he was ever in the mood for it at all.
"Don’t call me that, Seagill." His
annoyed tone was entirely different from the one he’d used at the table this
morning. Kiros caught the subtle alteration
immediately.
"Something wrong, Commander?" He asked, the teasing note gone from
his voice.
Squall started to shake his head but instead paused and considered Kiros’ words.
"Yes. Something’s wrong." How to learn what he needed to know?
"Well, are you going to tell me or should I start guessing?" Kiros’ voice was edged in irritation. Hyne,
this boy was a real pain in the ass. Moody little bastard.
Squall scowled at him as he placed Kiros’ weapons
back in their display case.
"I was getting to that." He glared when he finally turned around. Kiros raised an eyebrow.
"I’m waiting." He prompted, crossing his arms over his chest. He
was so willowy that he could almost wrap his arms around himself and Squall
noticed, not for the first time, just how pretty Kiros
actually was. Shaking his head, annoyed with himself for getting distracted, he
closed the distance between them until he stood close enough to see how dark Kiros’ eyes really were. They were the color of umber, so
dark they were practically black with just enough warmth in them to make you
wonder what secrets he had hidden behind them.
"What’s wrong with Seifer?" Squall asked
with no preamble. Kiros grinned.
"What do you mean, ‘what’s wrong with Seifer’?
He looks okay to me."
Kiros’ slightly teasing voice was only succeeding
in angering Squall further. He knew damn good and well what Squall was talking
about. He was toying with him, baiting him. Squall’s patience evaporated. He
grabbed Kiros’ by the shirt and pulled hard. Kiros’ stumbled but caught himself just before he fell into
Mr. Ice.
"Watch who you’re grabbing, little lion, you might lose a hand." Kiros warned in that silky tone of voice. Squall caught the
warning, but was simply too angry to heed it. He didn’t release Kiros’ and he didn’t back off, he only held on tighter and
brought Kiros’ closer to him. He could feel the
taller man’s breath on his cheek.
"Something happened to Seifer and I want to
know what it is. And I want you to tell me all about it." He
growled softly as Kiros raised an eyebrow at him.
"What’s with the dramatics all of a sudden? Why don’t you just ask Seifer?" Kiros wanted to
know as he extricated himself from Squall’s iron grip.
Squall let the other man go and ran a frustrated hand through his unruly
tresses as he sighed aloud. The unknown was killing him. He never imagined Seifer’s secrets would bother him so much. He’d thought he
could handle not knowing. But he knew now that he couldn’t, he was going to
have to know. If he were going to help Seifer bury
the past, he was going to have to know what the hell had been going on for the
past few months.
"Because he’s on his knees crying in the garden, Kiros. And I don’t mean the pretty little tears that
cling to your eyelashes before sliding down your cheek. I’m talking about the
soul-racking sobs that only come from a man when he’s been completely broken
down. Now tell me or don’t tell me but don’t play with me. I’ll find out if I
have to kill to do it."
Squall’s stormy eyes had never sparked such fire, nor had his words ever
held such venom. Kiros felt something inside him sigh
in relief and it was in this way that he knew where Squall’s heart lie,
finally. He deserved to know.
Kiros walked over to the window that overlooked
the conservatory and he stood silently observing Seifer.
The boy was still kneeling in the grass, his golden head bowed, hands pressed
against the ground, most probably lost in a nightmare. Kiros
shook his head. He ached for all that Seifer had lost
and could lose again. He turned to face Squall, who was still fighting mad, and
he sighed heavily.
"I’ll tell you what I can and the rest you’ll have to promise to leave
alone, Seifer’s life could depend on it."
Squall’s brow furrowed. "I don’t see why…"
Kiros held a hand up. "Don’t argue with me
boy, just listen to what I have to say and don’t ask questions that I can’t
answer." He sounded angry. Squall nodded, not happy, but willing to take
whatever he could get.
"Fine." He finally agreed.
Kiros turned his eyes away from Seifer, knowing he’d be unable to tell the story if he were
looking at him during the recounting of it.
"It was about eight months ago, I think, that I was informed of his
arrival."
"Who told you?" Squall interrupted. Kiros
slid him a quelling glance.
"Let me finish and don’t say anything till I’m done. If you still have
questions and I’m able to answer them, I will do so then, understood?"
Squall, nodded, more than a little miffed to be taken down in such a way.
"He had nowhere left to go, he’d been in many
towns and finding no welcome in any of them, came here as a last resort. Just
between you and me, I don’t know what he’d have done if he hadn’t found a place
here."
He paused, moving over to rack on the wall that displayed his ornately
designed scythes. Fingering the edge of the blade absently, he licked his lips,
unsure of how much information to depart with. Seifer
wouldn’t appreciate this betrayal of confidence, but Kiros
felt he really had no choice. Squall needed to know what Seifer
had been put through if he were ever going to understand what made him tick.
And if he intended to save Seifer from himself, he
needed to hear this. Appreciating Squall’s silence, he turned to face him, his
expression not quite hostile, but not welcoming either.
"I won’t bore you with the details, but I will tell you that Seifer was drafted almost immediately by one of the city’s
more unsavory overlords. His reputation preceded him, you see, and this
particular group of people didn’t really care whether or not Seifer had been under a Sorceress’ influence at the time of
his defection. They knew only what they’d heard of him and they were suitably
impressed. I’m guessing that they’d planned on using him as hired muscle,
knowing that no one would stand against him based simply on his reputation.
Sort of like Billy the Kid, huh?" He attempted a smile. Squall frowned.
"Who?" He sounded annoyed.
Kiros closed his eyes. "Never mind, it’s not
important."
Squall shifted his weight from one hip to the other, clearly not impressed
with Kiros’ storytelling technique.
"Anyway, somehow, I don’t think Seb ever
planned on letting Seifer go. He wanted him by his
side, doing his dirty work for as long as he could keep him alive."
Squall lay a hand on Kiros’
sleeve, a strange light in his eyes.
"Dirty work?" He asked cautiously,
ignoring his earlier promise not to interrupt.
Kiros nodded. "He was a hired killer, Squall.
He’s killed more people than he can probably even count."
Squall shrugged, taking his hand away and resting it casually on his gunblade.
"We’ve all killed. How can we keep track of them all? Why would that
affect him so much? He had to stay alive, didn’t he?"
Kiros eyed Squall carefully, a sly look on his face.
"How many have you killed Squall? Give me a number."
Squall turned his eyes away. "How can I possibly remember that? I’m a
mercenary for Hyne’s sake. Don’t be ridiculous, Kiros."
Kiros moved to his side and grasped Squall’s chin
firmly between his fingers. He turned Squall’s sullen gaze back to his own and
held him fast.
"Don’t try it, prettyboy. You know exactly
how many men you’ve killed and I’m willing to bet you can remember their family
names, too."
Squall was silent for a moment, but his eyes cursed Kiros
in several different languages before he pulled away from Kiros’
knowing hold and ground out, "Hundreds.
Does that make you happy?"
Kiros snickered. "No, little lion, I’m not
happy that you’ve become such a dangerous weapon, but I needed to make a point,
which is what I’ve just done. You can remember the men you’ve killed. Seifer cannot. And he didn’t limit his kills to only men.
He’s killed women, he’s killed boys younger than him, he’s
toppled empires, infiltrated other gangs and dismantled them from the ground
up. Around here, people don’t tell their children tales about the boogey man,
they tell them stories about the Sorceress’ Knight."
Squall closed his eyes. "Seifer."
He breathed. Kiros nodded while he watched Squall
grapple with the implications of what he’d just learned. The man who owned his
heart was a murdering villain. And he was stuck – again.
"Why did he do it? He could have said no! He didn’t have to do it all
again."
Squall looked as though his heart was breaking and Kiros
hated to be the bearer of such information, but there were certain truths that
needed to be told.
"No, he couldn’t have refused." Kiros
told him quietly. "They would have executed him, no question, but only
after days, perhaps weeks, of unspeakable torture."
Squall turned his disillusioned gaze on Kiros’,
all traces of anger vanished.
"Why would they do that?" The thought was so unutterably foreign
to Squall that he couldn’t bring himself to grasp the simple concept of true
evil.
Kiros sighed. "Because they
could. It’s really that simple. You’re no stranger to evil, Squall, you know that it exists purely for its own
sake."
Squall felt as though he might slide to his knees much the same as Seifer had done only minutes before. And then the rage was
back. Seifer had compromised his soul in order to
save himself and no matter what he’d done, Squall
couldn’t fault him for that. Survival above all else.
As long as you lived to see the sun rise again, you weren’t cursed. He would
make it right again, and he just might shed a little blood in the doing of it.
"Where are they?" He asked, deadly quiet and dangerously low. Kiros shook his head, began to deny him, to shield him
until Squall stepped forward, graceful and sure, gunblade
at the ready.
"You will tell me, Kiros. You know that I can
find them on my own, and you know I will. Tell me."
Kiros closed his eyes, weighing his options.
"Laguna would kill me…"
Squall shook his head. "Don’t bring him into this. This is about me and
the bastards who made Seifer break down right in
front of me. They have to pay, Kiros. I demand
it."
Kiros’ shoulders slumped and Squall knew he’d won.
"Fine, little lion, you win. But I will accompany you." It was not
up for discussion.
Squall nodded. "Agreed."
Kiros pulled his Katal
from the rack and turned to face the young Commander.
"Let’s go. And I’ll warn you, it could get messy."
Squall nodded tightly, his face drawn in determination. "I’m counting
on it."
Kiros sighed. If they lived through this one,
Laguna really was going to have a fit. A straight up,
no-holds-barred, clear the room hissy fit. And
Squall would finally get to see where his temper truly came from. Hyne help them all…
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