Adult-FanFiction.org : Final Fantasy

Parody	By : Quis Category: Final Fantasy VIII > General Views: 772 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-A Parodical Fic
- 1
Disclaimer:
We own nothing except our alter-egos, Guinevere and Auria. We have no
affiliations or anything with the WWE, Jerry Springer, and miscellaneous stuff.
(If ya smellllllll what the Rock is cooking!) Slight Rinoa bashing, but nothing
serious. (Side note: We both like Rinoa and the cast, we're just having fun).
Quis wrote this after watching Austin Powers: Goldmember, so, excuse the
high-level of insanity. This parody was meant for mature readers, preferably 15
and over. If you are offended in any way by sex, tis Nis NOT the fic for you to
read.

[Camera pans
round the audience into the studio. The camera focuses on Gwen, who is standing
in front of a long row of seats. She holds a microphone]

Gwen: Hello,
and welcome to another episode of insanity. Tonight we interview the characters
from.... [Drum roll is heard] Final Fantasy VIII! First up, let me introduce my
sister and co-host, Auria.

[Auria
appears amidst a loud round of applause, and takes her place beside Guinevere]

Auria: Thank
you, Gwen, and welcome. Tonight we'll be interviewing the introverted
gunbladist and SeeD Commander, Squall Leonhart, and his annoying but beautiful
Sorceress girlfriend, Rinoa Heartilly, along with a few more special guests.

Gwen: Do be
warned, however, that this can get pretty insane sometimes, and pigs really do
fly, only they fly at night.

[Some
applause is heard, but not much]

Auria: So,
without further ado, let's hear it for Squall Leonhart!

[Squall
walks out onto the set, wearing a pair of baggy trackpants and a Singlet that's
far too small for him, the crowds start cheering and some insults are heard]
Gwen:
Welcome, Squall....

Auria:
[looks somewhat unimpressed by what Squall is wearing]

Squall:
Whatever....

Gwen: And
now, the most dangerous sorceress on earth, Rinoa Heartilly...

[Rinoa walks
out wearing her ballroom dress...The dress is slightly darker though, and her
angel wings are just noticeable. She scowls at Squall's tardiness of dressing]

Rinoa:
Squall, what did I tell you when we were changing for this show?

Squall: I
heard nothing but your annoyingly whiny voice!
font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-fareast-font-family:"MS Mincho"'>Rinoa: How
dare you!

Gwen: Ok,
stop it....

[The crowd
seem to be chanting "Aurie, Aurie, Aurie, Aurie"]

Auria:
[looks frazzled] Ohy! No fighting allowed!

Gwen: [Nods]
This isn't Jerry fricking Springer, ya know?

Rinoa:
Sorry, it's just that Squall [pointed look], has been annoying me for no
end.[In a stage whisper] I think he's gay.

Squall: I
heard that!

Rinoa: Too
bad! I don't CARE!

[Gwen
decides to step in before it gets out of hand]

Gwen: That's
enough! Stop it!

Rinoa:
[meekly with sarcasm] Sorry

Squall:
[fighting against the restraint of Gwen] You bitch! You'll pay!

Rinoa: No,
Squall.... Don�t you understand...If you say that, I'll turn into....[demonic
voice]ULTIMECIA. Do you understand that, you pathetic SeeD?

Squall:
Wait! That means....

[Ultimecia
appears from the floor]

Ultimecia:
Yes Squall.... I am Rinoa, five hundred years into the future.... Time has
kompressed...

Squall:
Rinoa!?! What's happened to you?

Ultimecia:
[laughs evilly]. You have no idea, SeeD! You left me for Quistis Trepe, and I
was alone, alone, all on my own...

Rinoa: [in
shock] Oh...My...Hyne! My HAIR! What have you done with my hair???

Ultimecia:
Oh, you like it? It was done at the Dollet salon, it cost me only 200 gil....
Oh, and the dress. Just a slight [giggles] variation on your blue duster
outfit, hon.

Gwen: As I
was saying before all of this chaos...[nobody hears her.... she begins to
shout]...I WAS SAYING THAT WE'D BE INTERVIEWING THE WHOLE CAST! So, without
further ado, I introduce to you the bitter ex-instructor, Quistis Trepe!

[Quistis
magically appears...wearing nothing but a leather bondage outfit, much to the
delight of the male population]

Crowd:
O_O;(women).... ^_^(old men)....-_-(the hostesses)...WooHoo!(the young male
population)

Quistis: And
this is why I use a whip in BED!

Gwen: Um?
Ms. Trepe, as much as we don't want to disturb you, but could you please put
your whip down for thirty minutes?

Quistis: How
about...no? [She starts dancing around, using the whip to injure her partner,
who just happens to be a 6ft gunbladist, sorceress's knight, and ex-convict by
the name of Seifer Almasy]

Seifer:
Quistis is a GODDESS! She totally ROCKS my world, baby!

Quistis:
Seifer.... Have you been cheating on me, AGAIN?

Seifer:
DAMN! You caught me! Yes, I've been having a gay affair with one sexy Squall
Leonhart!

Squall:
[backs away]

Seifer:
Don't be shy now, kitten! [Evil laugh]

Quistis: Oh,
what the hell...my secret's out...I'm really a lesbian, and I'm fucking Selphie
and Xu all night long!

[Xu,
Selphie, Fujin, Edea, Hotdog Lady, Library Girl with Pigtail, who Quis will
call Athena for now, appear wearing bondage outfits as well.]

Xu: Let me
show you where you can stick your dick, Seifer...

Seifer: ^_^;

Hyne(aka
Quis's Mother): LAURA!, THIS IS GETTING TOO RAUNCHY! STOP WRITING AND TURN OFF
THE FUCKING COMPUTER AND GO TO SLEEP!

Quis: How
about...no? I don't have to...And besides, taking the internet away won't do
anything! [starts running around, stripping]
f !sf !supportEmptyParas]>

Irvine:
Woo-Hoo! Hey, baby [Irvine walks up to Fujin], fancy a ride on a horse?

Fujin:
[shrugs] SURE

[Irvine and
Fujin begin copulating in front of the crowd]

Quistis:
Ride me, Irvine [pushes Fujin off]

Irvine: Ok,
why not? [Smiles]

[Quistis and
Irvine begin a raunchy sex scene, too graphic to describe]

Selphie:
[begins to get pissed off] Quisty! I thought you were mine, hon!

Quistis:
[still fucking Irvine�hard]
p clp class=MsoPlainText>
QUIS WILL
STOP HERE�.THIS IS GETTING WAY TOO OUT OF HAND�

I apologise
if I have in any way offended you�so I will leave you with a charming quote by
Shakespeare.

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this and all is mended
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear
And this weak and idle theme
No more yielding than a dream
Gentles do not reprehend
If you pardon
We will mend
Else the Puck a liar call
And so goodnight unto you all
Give me your hands if we be friends
And Robin shall restore amends

-A Midsummernight�s Dream
- 1
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