Dinner at Cid's | By : MackyoStar Category: Final Fantasy VII > General Views: 731 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: **Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all of the characters/ locations mentioned in this fic are © SquareEnix** |
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**Disclaimer: I make no financial gain from this story.
Final Fantasy VII © SquareEnix**
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Dinner at Cid’s
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The silence was shattered by a mysterious noise; it sounded like incessant grating. Shards of white started to fall on top of the wooden table, covering it like snow. The atmosphere was tense.
“Do it.”
“No…”
“DO IT!”
“No…”
“YOU’RE NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU DO!”
“I said no.”
“FOR GOD’S SAKE, VALENTINE!” Cid’s teeth were beginning to wear down from the friction of continuous grinding; his gums were practically rubbing against each other as a result.
Vincent glared. “For the last time, no.”
“DRINK YOUR GODDAMN TEA!”
“I don’t like tea. I’m not going to consume something that I do not enjoy. Besides, it’s gone cold.”
“THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S BEEN SITTING THERE FOR THREE SOILD HOURS!”
“I told you the last time I came that I do not care for tea. And when you offered it to me, I distinctly remember declining.”
“SHERA, GET VALENTINE ANOTHER CUP OF TEA AND HURRY UP!”
“Of course, right away” Shera picked up Vincent’s cold tea cup and quickly went to refill it.
“Got no excuse now, Vincent.” Cid sniggered.
Vincent crossed his arms and slouched back in his chair, pouting at his predicament. Shera placed a fresh cup in front of Vincent and stepped away from the table.
Cid smiled “Now, drink it.”
Vincent shook his head in protest.
“I SAID DRINK IT!” Cid snarled.
“Would you care for some coffee instead, Vincent. Or perhaps a nice cup of Cocoa?”
“No thank you, Shera. A glass of water will do just fine.”
“WATER? HELL NO. YOU’LL DRINK YOUR TEA AND LIKE IT!”
“But if Vincent doesn’t want tea, wouldn’t it be better to get him something that he does want?” Shera inquired sweetly.
“NO, EVERYONE LOVES TEA! AND IF THEY DON’T…THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ‘EM!”
“I don’t like tea.” Cloud voiced, sipping on a glass of orange juice.
“YOU DON’T LIKE TEA? BUT YOU DRANK IT LAST TIME YOU CAME, AND WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!” Cid pointed to Cloud’s plastic panda beaker.
Cloud held up his drink and smiled “Its orange juice, Shera made it for me.”
“Would you like some orange juice too, Vincent?” Shera asked, gesturing to the cold refreshing jug on her tray.
Vincent politely refused. “No, water will be satisfactory, thank you.”
“ONLY TEA WILL BE CONSUMED IN MY HOUSE. EVERYTHING ELSE IS OUTLAWED!” Cid was fuming, bashing a fist on the table. A large pulsating vein erupted over his forehead; it beat merrily to a rapid rhythm and Cloud had the compelling urge to poke it.
“Captain please, calm yourself down. Remember the mess you made the last time your vein exploded? I still can’t get the stain out of the carpet.” Shera pointed to the remains of the stain in question, located on the cream coloured carpet on the living room floor. Suddenly, the kitchen window abruptly opened and a large head of red hair poked its way through.
Cid looked up and sighed. “We have a front door you know, Nanaki. The window ain’t a doggy flap.”
The red headed stranger fell to the floor and quickly picked himself up. While dusting off his navy blue suit, Shera floated towards him armed with her jug “Excuse me. Would you like some orange juice, sir?”
“Err, no thanks” Reno grinned.
“Coffee? Cocoa? Or, how about some tea?”
“Yeah, tea would be great” Reno nodded, pulling out a chair. He flipped it around and sat on it backwards, leaning his arms against the table. The kitchen was silent, the occupants were dumbstruck. Apart from the cheerful hum that came from Shera as she boiled up the kettle. Cloud coughed.
“Errr, can we help you?” Cid inquired, raising an eyebrow with interest.
“Oh yeah, nearly forgot.” Reno delved into his pocket and pulled out a DVD case, handing it to Vincent, he smiled. “Great movie, had me crying like a baby.”
Both Cid’s and Cloud’s jaws dropped and landed noisily against the table; their tongues rolled out onto the surface and fell over the edge. Shera handed Reno his tea. Vincent lifted up his cloak and placed the case inside, watching it disappear within the crimson material, he happily allowed the fabric to fall again. “It’s one of my favourites.”
“Yeah, action thrillers always make me emotional” Reno sniffed, wiping away a tear. He then slapped Cloud upside the head and snatched the knife from his hand. “QUIT THAT!”
“I was only helping out” Cloud pouted and handed the freshly chopped onions to Shera. She took the vegetables from him and placed them into the now simmering stew.
“I take it you’re staying for dinner?” Cid inquired, replacing his worn down dentures for the seventh time that day. Shera shook her head with disapproval. He always invited people after she’d started the cooking…she hoped she’d have enough to go around.
Reno stretched and placed his hands behind his head “What are we having tonight?”
“Stew and dumplings” Shera replied with a smile and happily arched her eyes. Tying a bow in her apron strings, she picked up her rolling pin and started to beat back the persistent pastry-- She had a feeling that she’d used too much lard.
“Yeah, sounds great” Reno grinned. Placing his hand over Vincent’s, he gently squeezed his fingers. Vincent’s cheeks began to flush with embarrassment.
Cid’s lip wobbled. “Y-you’re dating Reno?”
Reno nodded. “Yeah, we’ve been seeing each other now for about…three days?”
“Three days and twelve minutes” Vincent replied, leaning over to grant Reno a kiss. They quickly settled into the passionate gesture. Cloud gagged at the sight. “EWW, THAT‘S GROSS!”
“B-but Vincent, what about Thursday night…when you told me that you loved me?”
Shera dropped her rolling pin.
Vincent withdrew from Reno and became lost in thought, the confused gunman started to rub at his chin. Reno’s eyes narrowed in response. “What’s he talking about, Vincent?”
Vincent shrugged “No idea”
Cid rose to his feet, knocking back his chair. He pointed his large novelty latex finger at Vincent and screamed. “YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU LOVED ME, WHEN WE WERE SHAGGING UNDER THE STARS!”
Reno removed his hand from Vincent’s and scowled. “Is this true?”
Vincent shook his head violently and grabbed at Reno’s shirt. “Lies Reno, all lies. I’d never cheat on you.”
“HE BLOODY WELL DID, HE FUCKED MY BRAINS OUT AND BRUISED MY ASS IN THE PROCESS!” Cid shouted, dancing around on the spot; his arms were flapping around with so much fury that he smacked poor Cloud in the face. Cloud was knocked unconscious.
Reno glared. “I can’t believe you shagged him behind my back. After I was gunna propose and everything!”
“NOOOOO, Reno. I didn’t do it. He’s lying!”
“NO I AIN’T!” Cid pulled down his trousers and displayed his ass, it was covered in purple and blue “I got proof!”
Reno stood up and backed away, glaring at Vincent with rage. Suddenly the front door swung opened and several Shin-Ra troops invaded the house. President Rufus pushed his way through them and flicked back his hair. “Highwind residence I assume?”
“Sure is” Cid smiled while pulling up his pants, he began buckling up his belt as he spoke. “You guys come about the Tiny Bronco?”
Rufus shook his head. “No”
“Then why are you here?” Cid asked, struggling to fasten his belt. He was now regretting eating that last piece of pie for breakfast.
Palmer and Tseng suddenly appeared from behind the president. Tseng expression looked as cold as ever, everyone in the room started to involuntary shiver as the kitchen turned to ice. Shera swiftly interrupted.
“Errr, anyone for tea?”
Everyone raised their shaking hands up instantly, apart from Vincent and Cloud (for obvious reasons). Shera sighed and reached for her coat. “I’m going to have to buy some more mugs then.”
Reno spoke. “It’s over, Vincent. I can’t trust you anymore.”
Vincent’s eyes welled up and tears started to roll down his chubby little cheeks. “Reno please, it was just the once. I was drunk…he meant nothing to me.”
“NOTHING? VINCENT YOU LIAR. YOU GOT MY NAME TATTOOED TO YOUR TOE!” Cid snarled while yanking up his pants, his belt snapped in two- causing the buckle to ping dangerously across the room and established itself within the wall.
Reno glared. “So, that’s why you had a bandage over it. You told me you had a verruca!” Reno broke down in tears and fled, scuttling towards the president. His stubby little legs shuffled across the floor. Tseng comforted Reno as he cried into his arms, close to sobbing himself. His shoulder had started to give way under the immense weight of Reno’s enormous head. It was hard work comforting a chibi.
Rufus growled. “I won’t have you upsetting my staff, withdraw your gun!” Rufus speedily pulled his squeaky shotgun from his belt and aimed it at Vincent. A sweat drop appeared on Vincent’s bandana as he nervously smiled.
“HEY, NO SHOOTING IN MY HOUSE. TAKE IT OUTSIDE!” Cid stated, falling over as his pants left his hips. He fell backwards and landed on top of Cloud. Cloud was now slowly suffocating beneath him.
Vincent held up his hands, gesturing Rufus to calm. “Can’t we work this out rationally?”
Rufus lowered his gun. “What do you suggest?”
Reno interrupted, pulling away from Tseng. “No, I can’t allow my lovers to fight!”
“Lovers?” Tseng snarled. “What are you saying?”
“It’s true. Me and Rufus are in love.” Little love hearts appeared over Reno’s head as he lovingly looked on at Rufus. Rufus smiled but started to growl as Nanaki curiously tugged at his gun. After a short struggle it was yanked from his hand. Rufus wasn’t amused. “Hey give that back. You’re gunna break it!”
Tseng whimpered, “But…but president Rufus. I thought…you and me?”
Cid stood up from the floor and peeled a flattened Cloud from his back. “Woah, back up. Vincent’s dating Reno…but Reno’s dating Rufus…who’s also dating Tseng?”
Rufus nodded.
Cid scratched his head “Woah, talk about fucked up.”
“I challenge you to a duel, Vincent” Rufus glared while slapping Nanaki over the head with a plastic chair; Nanaki dropped his gun as a result.
Vincent agreed “Fine, we’ll settle this like men.”
“Hey, aren’t you supposed to slap the guy you wanna duel with?” Palmer queried, but got a kick in the stomach from Tseng. Tseng voiced his disgust for the head of space exploration.
“Don’t you dare question the president’s actions! Darnit, Palmer…give me back my shoe!”
Cid was using an old fashioned bicycle pump to slowly re-inflate Cloud, inserted into the flat boy’s ear. “What are ya gunna do?”
“We’ll do what all men do in this situation” Vincent took in a deep breath and exhaled loudly (for added volume) “We’ll play………………………on the dance mat!”
The whole room gasped.
Cid tied a shoe lace around fully over-inflated Cloud’s thumb and secured him to the table leg. He didn’t want Cloud to fly off through the window Reno had left open. Although, closing the open window would have been easier, but he wasn’t thinking straight at the time.
Rufus nodded with approval and rolled up his sleeves. “I accept your challenge.”
Vincent stared defiantly, taking off his boots. “Let’s take it outside, winner gets to keep Reno!”
Both men stomped off outside, one was holding the Playstation while the other held the dance mats. They readied themselves for the upcoming battle. Reno was stunned. “They’re really gunna fight over me? Hey, don’t they need a TV and a plug socket?”
Cid jumped over the table and shouted out of the now open front door while angrily shaking his fist. “VALENTINE, GET BACK IN HERE AND DRINK YOUR GODDAMN TEA!”
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