Wish

Disclaimer: The characters Cid Highwind and Vincent Valentine belong to Square not me, I'm not making money from this, etc.

If you want to see more of my fics, check out my webpage http://www.geocities.com/teka_yaoi and yaoi art gallery http://yaoi.y-gallery.net/user/cideon/

Summary: Takes place sometime after the game. Cid is dying, and makes a hard choice because he loves Vincent so much.

COmments or questions you don't wanna post on here? Feel free to e-mail me at teka[at]tokyo[dot]com

***
-Wish-


Cid tried his best to muffle his cough with the sleeve of his jacket. It was rough and wet, and when he finished he saw blood mixed with his spittle. Cursing he took off his jacket quickly, and jumped off his plane to run over to the hose on the side of the house. The sun warmed his back when he turned on the water, using it to wash off his sleeve. If his lover had been anyone else but Vincent, he would have been confident wiping off the practically microscopic evidence on the dirt and thought nothing else of it. But Vincent, not only gifted with whatever Hojo had done, was also a Turk. His skills of observation were on par with no one. He would have been caught easily.

Finished wiping it off (and a few more obvious stains from the grass and such), Cid tossed up his jacket on the clothesline, smiling a little. Looks like he was safe this tim-

"Cid, I heard you coughing, are you all right?" The ex-Turk had rushed out of the house in record time, and was quickly walking over to the captain. "I thought the doctor told you to take it easy!"

The blond smiled at his lover, and took a second to really look at him. They were best friends in Avalanche, and before they went in for what was their most dangerous battle, they became lovers. Now, almost two years after everything, they were happily living together in Cid's home in Rocket Town. None of the townspeople treated them oddly (having worked under the captain for years), and they often discouraged anyone searching for them so they could enjoy some peace and quiet. But Cid knew it was going to be over soon. Not only had he smoked for most of his life, he had gotten a slight case of mako poisoning that enhanced the cancer growing in his lungs. The mako had come from when he was young, and just entered Shinra.

He wasn't the only member of the higher-ranking air force members that got a shot, but he had, during his time hunting for Sephiroth, been close to pure mako, which seemed to cause the so called 'purified' substance in his body to mutate. Vincent had escaped similar harm because he had been injected with Jenova cells which seemed to keep the mako doing excellent work to keep his body perfect. Not only did he never get sick, he did not age.

Cid knew that he would die, and wanted to enjoy everything about Vincent. But the only thing that kept him from trying to be with his lover every second of the day was how Vincent had changed. Ever since finding out that he was going to die, in a matter of weeks perhaps, Vincent lost some of the sanity he had regained after they had beaten Sephiroth. He would alternate between nagging, then angst to himself, sometimes he'd be angry and violent (though he had never turned that rage onto Cid), and even baby Cid around. Although the pilot still loved Vincent, it was too much for him. But he also blamed himself for Vincent's change of personality. He hated himself for ruining whatever chance the ex-Turk would have to find some bit of peace in his possibly eternal life. He might have given him two good years, but then what? Nothing, because he would be gone, leaving him alone, just as he had been in his coffin.

"Yeah, just some dust tickling my throat, nothing to worry about." The blond smiled at Vincent, wanting to relieve his worries. He felt disheartened when the ex-Turk only nodded, but didn't smile back. "Ya know, I think I'm gonna take a break from fixing up the Tiny Bronco. Wanna eat some lunch?"

"Yes, of course. I all ready made some soup and a little bit of salad." Vincent moved to go and hold the door open for Cid. He no longer wore his cape and cowl, and his hair was brushed out of his face, but it seemed to Cid he was often as expressionless as before.

"All right. I was hoping for a burger, but I like your soups." Cid craved any sort of junk food. But Vincent was determined to stretch out his life as long as possible, if even by mere minutes from changing his diet. The one time Cid had complained about eating such bland food, Vincent had been so upset that he couldn't bare to do that to him again. Not when it was his fault his ebony haired lover was suffering.

The pilot was plagued with guilt that he had ruined Vincent's life. And there was nothing that he could do to fix it. He was quiet most of the day, except when Vincent would ask him something. It wasn't often, but he always tried to respond as if everything was fine, and to make sure to be thankful to him, though he didn't want to overdo it and sound fake. That night he was curled up in the middle of his bed, hugging his pillow. Vincent wouldn't even just sleep with him, because he was afraid of hurting Cid. But that actually hurt worse than anything physical.

Shivering from the force of his emotions, Cid closed his eyes tightly, trying to force himself to sleep. Sometimes he was lucky and dreamed that everything was fine between him and Vincent, like it used to be. But nightmares were often more common. Still, it was better to be asleep with fake dreams, than awake with real worries. After an hour of mental torment he finally passed out.

His dream was rather fuzzy at first. He was inside that one church in Midgar. The one Cloud said that belonged to Aeris. He took a few steps down the center, wondering how this had anything to do with his current life. Then it hit him. He knew he was dreaming, and that had never happened to him. Before he had much time to think about that, a soft feminine voice called his name behind him.

"Aeris?!" Cid hadn't known the flower girl for very long before she was murdered, but he had liked her and was very upset with her death. "This is one hell of a crazy dream, damn."

The brown haired girl smiled at him, and gave him a light hug. "Hello again Cid. I didn't think I'd get to see you so soon. I guess I should tell you that this isn't really a dream. It's very real."

An ashen blond eyebrow moved up at her comment. "Oh really? Ya don't say." He didn't honestly know what to think, but he decided to go along with it anyway.

"Cid, you're dying. But you saved the planet from that fate. And in return, it wants to help you. Anything you want that it can do will be yours for the asking." Aeris' green eyes lit up from her joy. She really did want the pilot to live, which is why she was glad that she could do something to help him.

Cid was quiet for a minute or two. He wanted to say this was ridiculous, just a silly dream. But he somehow knew it was real, just like she said. He actually felt a little stupid for patronizing her. //But how do I know it's real? I don't have any proof just this crazy ass feeling.// His mind went through a few more things, and then he finally spoke to the Ancient. "Listen Aer', do you really mean anything? Like, anything-anything?"

"Within it's power, yes. But that's not much of a limit."

Her smile was infectious, even though he wasn't all that happy at the moment. But he had learned well to fake a smile his heart didn't feel. "...I know what you're thinking I'm gonna ask. That I get better, or was never sick. But I can't do that to Vince. He's gonna live a real long time. Maybe not forever, but longer than me. And then you're thinking, I should go ahead and do that, but I can't. I... I love him too much to give him a lover he only settled for. It's only because of what happened to him in Nibbelheim that we kinda clicked. He was feeling weird, and I never asked him any questions, or looked at him funny."

Aeris' smile dropped, and she looked very worried. She placed a hand on Cid's arm, trying to give him some support. "Are you saying he wouldn't love you if his past was different? I don't believe that--"

"Yeah, I don't either. But I do think he would have been more in love with someone else, if things had been different." He could no longer look at those tearing green eyes, they made his own sting.

"You want to go back, change his past." The young girl hugged him fully now, as if she could comfort him better the tighter she squeezed. "Are you sure?"

"You said the planet would do anything for us. I will do anything for Vince."

Aeris sniffled, but controlled herself. "All right, if that is what you truly want."

Cid was going to thank her, but before he could even open his mouth, she was gone. And he was no longer in that place. He found himself sitting on the ground, on old cobblestones in an alley. He looked around and recognized the Shinra mansion from a distance. //Here I am then. I just wish I could have said goodbye.// The pilot got up on shaky legs, and took a deep breath to try to calm himself. He stepped out of the alleyway and realized he was holding a spear that Vincent had given him. //I don't know if that's lucky or just twisted irony.// Looking around, he saw Professor Hojo walking around the town's well, muttering to himself. A little farther was Vincent, talking to Lucrecia.

Hojo looked just like Cid remembered, only with fewer lines on his face. But Vincent was incredibly different. Even if the man had only experienced two or three years after this time, he was obviously not the same man. His short hair was perfectly smoothed down, and he walked with a confidence that Cid's Vincent did not have. This was the Turk side of his lover, a killer with finesse and sophistication. But his heart still hurt to see him so close to the female scientist. But he knew this had to be done for Vincent's good, and if he wanted to do it, he needed to hurry.

The captain's boots pounded into the cobblestone path as he sprinted towards Professor Hojo. Halfway to him his lungs felt like they were on fire, reminding him he didn't have long to live. The next thought was of pure satisfaction as his spear pierced through the thin man's chest, shoved in so deeply that the blade was sticking completely out of his back. Cid barely felt a touch of relief when he realized he was on the ground, facing up at a cloudy sky that threatened rain.

//Fuck, my chest really hurts now.// He instinctively looked down and saw his shirt and jacket were covered with blood. //I couldn't have hit him that hard, could I?// Then he realized all he could hear was a loud ringing, and his own breathing was muffled. When he saw the younger Vincent running up to him with his gun held out, he knew what happened. //I knew there was a chance. But it's better this way.//

Vincent kept his gun trained on the assassin as he crouched down to Hojo's body and put his fingers on the scientist's neck. There was no pulse. Some bodyguard he turned out to be. Lucrecia grabbed onto him tightly, sobbing and shaking. He managed to edge her off him so he could get closer to the killer. It was funny how he didn't really look like the normal anti-mako nuts that went after Shinra employees. Then he saw that the man was crying. He looked like he was almost at peace, but desperate at the same time.

"Vince..." Cid wheezed out, feeling his warm salty blood in the back of his throat. He'd either choke or just plain die in seconds, so he needed to hurry. He held out his left hand towards Vincent, stretching it as far as he could without hurting the gaping hole in his chest.

The Turk was confused. Did this man know him? But no one called him 'Vince'. He'd never had a nickname like that. Without knowing why, he put his gun on the ground, and started reaching out with his right hand.

"No... other one..." Cid's voice was barely indistinguishable from the bubbling noise that was getting louder with each breath he struggled to take. Thankfully, the brunet understood and used his left hand to touch Cid's. The blond squeezed his fingers, and chuckled a little. //It's a normal hand. He won't lose this.// His momentary joy was erased as he started to cough up blood.

Vincent didn't know what to do, except to keep a hold on the man's hand and squeeze it reassuringly. It was almost over for him, what did it hurt if he were to give him some comfort? Even though all his Turk training yelled at him to stop this, he couldn't help himself. Finally the man's coughing stopped, and his eyes stayed shut when he didn't move.

"Vincent? Is he dead? Why are you touching him?" Lucrecia had managed to stop sobbing, but her voice still shook a little. "Who is he? Why did he have to kill Hojo?"

The Turk dropped the killer's hand, though he did it gently. He got up and forced himself to look away from him, and instead to look at Lucrecia. Beautiful Lucrecia. "It's all right. He's dead. Let's call the helicopter and head back to the city. It might be dangerous for you to stay around here." He wrapped an arm around her, and started to lead her back to the mansion. No matter what odd thing had happened between him and Hojo's killer, his most important responsibility was Lucrecia right now. Both from his job, and his heart.

---to be continued....---