R.E.M.

Title: R.E.M.
Author: Justin Tyler
Fandom: "Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children"
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Crackfic, crackfic, crackfic! Totally out of character, like, for serious. Canon? Ha! Self-insertion? You betcha! It's still an awfully pretty picture, though. I'd watch... :-)


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He softly growled through a sleepy haze, his eyes still closed tightly as wakefulness settled on him slowly, feeling hands caressing his warm, bare skin.

Her lips on his neck made him moan. It was a sensitive spot: one he didn't allow to be touched very often, or by just anyone.

His hands traveled down, familiar and well-practiced, touching her hair, her neck, her shoulders. Absently, he thought oddly that he didn't seem to recall her ever having worn a turtleneck before.

Her hands were warm, and she seemed to know exactly what he wanted, the kind of touch he liked. He kept his eyes closed, savoring the tingly, erotic sensations that had so pleasantly awakened him.

Her mouth moved slowly down his neck, nuzzling for a moment on his collarbone, her soft hair grazing his naked chest until she reached his navel. Her hands drifted lower to press against his pajama-clad erection, then busied themselves with the drawstring of the silk trousers; she pulled them down, reaching under him to nudge his ass off the mattress to enable her to pull the garment down to his knees.

He was exposed now, already starting to stiffen as her hand reached for his cock. Blue eyes looked up briefly, as an amused smile crossed their owner's lips.

His eyes were still closed, the dark lashes fluttering slightly against his cheekbones, the hint of a contented smile on his own face. Without warning, she took the head of his cock into her mouth, swirling her tongue around until she had the taste of him on her tongue, then ever so slowly took him in further.

He moaned, arching into her; he remembered not to force himself into her throat. Not that there was ever a problem with her throat in that regard, just that he knew from experience that she needed to be the one to control the movement. Instead, his hands came up to gently cup her head, careful not to be too rough. Quiet little words gasped between moans and grunts expressed his appreciation for her obvious talents. He noticed the softness of her hair as his fingers threaded through the silky locks, and it was then that the odd feeling of not recalling returned, this time not recalling the layering, the jaggedness of her haircut...

Vincent Valentine opened his eyes, slowly, against the dim light of the dawn peeking through the window into their bedroom, and as his eyes adjusted to the semi-darkness the odd feeling was compounded by the recollection that she wasn't a blond, either....

"Holy god! Strife???"

Cloud looked up momentarily, his blue eyes flickering mischievously. "Um hmm," he mumbled, his mouth full but still somewhat smiling, regardless.

"What... what are you..." - Cloud swallowed Vincent's cock down to the root - "...DOING? Oh my god..."

Cloud released Vincent's dick in one swift motion, the stiff-as-a-board organ sliding out of the blond's mouth with a wet pop to fall back against Vincent's tummy with a loud slap.

Cloud grinned, an evil, playful little thing. He scooted back on the bed to take a position directly between the black-haired man's legs. The blond man pushed Vincent's thighs apart, the movement causing Vincent's cock to rise off his belly just a bit and sort of hover there at an obscene angle, he was that fucking hard. Cloud wedged his knees between Vincent's thighs, the coarse cloth of his fatigues scratching at tender flesh, and he dipped his head down to once again engulf the man's rock-hard dick.

"Oh... my... god," gasped Vincent.

"Hmmmm," hummed Cloud, which made matters that much worse...better...worse... for Vincent's current state.

Cloud continued to suck Vincent's cock, up and down, swabbing his tongue down the full length of one side and right back up the other. At times he would suck only the head, teasing around the ridged ring, while at other times he would suck the entire length of it deep into his throat, never gagging, but making muffled gulping noises as he swallowed around it. The deeper Cloud swallowed, the wetter his mouth became, the easier it was for him to keep up his oral assault, and the louder Vincent moaned.

Cloud paused momentarily, wiping a dollop of spit from the corner of his mouth as he raised his head slightly to look at Vincent.

"You make really nice noises," Cloud purred.

Vincent grappled and grasped at the bed sheets, his knuckles turning white from the effort, and he moaned and keened and whimpered as Cloud continued sucking on his cock. Just when Vincent thought he simply wouldn't be able to stand it another second, Cloud did something... interesting.

It took Vincent a second to realize what was happening, as Cloud pressed the knuckle of his index finger deep into that space between his cock and his ass, a fleeting thought flying through Vincent's mind as he tried vainly to remember what that spot was actually called, and as he brushed that random thought aside Cloud pressed harder, hitting his prostate from the outside and suctioning harder with his mouth and...

"Ohgod, ohgod, ohgod, ohgod, ohgod...!" Vincent wailed, at the suction and the pressure and the... oh hell...

Cloud spit out Vincent's cock, grabbed it firmly in hand, and began mercilessly jacking it, his fingers sliding the soft, pliant skin over the hard shaft beneath, looking at Vincent's face all the while and smiling, almost lecherously. All Vincent could do was go with it, his hips writhing, his hands traveling along his own torso, his skin smooth and flushed beneath his own fingertips, a torrent of some garbled gibberish spewing from his mouth, all of him fairly disconnected from his own brain at this point.

All that mattered to Vincent at that moment was his cock, and the burning in his belly it was causing, and how fucking good it all felt, and whatever the hell Cloud wanted to do with it was just fine with him.

Cloud grinned at Vincent as he felt the dick in his hand harden further, the head beginning to swell slightly with a heartbeat pulse. Vincent was panting, his eyes clenched tightly shut, head thrown back with his long, black hair askew on the pillow beneath him, his throat tightened from a gulp that had somehow gotten lodged in it.

"Oh god..." Vincent moaned loudly, "Oh god, I'm gonna c-".

Cloud grabbed Vincent's dick at the base, squeezing hard.

Vincent's eyes suddenly flew wide open.

Cloud grinned, held up his index finger, and waggled the pale, slim digit back and forth in front of Vincent's face. "Uh uh uh," he cajoled. "Not yet you aren't."

With that, Cloud plunged his slippery mouth down on Vincent's cock again, swabbing the soft head with his tongue, licking it all around, sucking, swabbing, licking, sucking, swabbing, until Vincent was crying out like a tomcat in heat and arching his back clear off the mattress.

"Please," the dark-haired man begged breathlessly, "please!!!

Without breaking the tempo of his sucking, Cloud peered up at Vincent, smiled with his eyes, and finally decided to take pity on the poor man. He allowed Vincent's cock to slide languorously out of his mouth.

"Where?" Cloud calmly asked the black-haired man.

Gasping and panting and twitching, Vincent was barely able to squeak out his own question. "Wh....wh... where wha... what?" he managed to shudder out.

Cloud lifted his head, ran his tongue over his lips, and stroked Vincent's rather impressive erection with his hand. "Where do you want to come?"

Like Vincent was actually coherent enough to make a decision.

"On my... in your... on... ah god, I don't care!" Vincent hissed through his teeth.

Cloud chuckled, and with a bright glint in his eye he gave Vincent's dick a final, firm grasp, then jacked him off good, so good that when Vincent came he got splashed in the eye with the first burst of spunk that came flying out of his dick, under the chin with the next, and fairly whitewashed his stomach with the remaining spurts, until he was just one big, sticky, gooey, come-covered mess.

"Oh my GOD!" Vincent fairly shrieked, his breath coming in deep, labored, ragged pants. He swallowed the hard knot that was apparently still in his throat, and he reached down to run his hands through Cloud's hair, the warm spooge on his stomach clinging to his forearms and elbows as they dragged down his body. As he wrapped his fingers through the soft, blond, uneven tendrils Vincent sighed, closed his eyes, and-

Woke up.
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Vincent was breathing: shallow and labored, but breathing. He looked around the room, now filled with sunlight on a gorgeous, balmy morning. He heard breathing next to him, and the rustle of sheets, and he cautiously turned his head to the right toward the sounds.

"Well, good morning, Sunshine," Tifa chirped at him with a smile. She was lying on her side next to him, her cheek resting in her hand, propped up by a bent elbow. Her beautiful, long, straight black hair cascaded innocently over her shoulders. "Sleep well?"

Tifa was wearing a long tee shirt and a grin, the kind of grin a cat wears when he's already eaten the canary.

"I don't know," Vincent replied, slowly and thoughtfully. "I think so."

Tifa sat up, legs bent and cuddling her own knees. "Must have been one doozy of a dream you were having."

Vincent blanched.

You have no idea, he thought.

"You could say that," he said.

"I see," Tifa responded with an amused expression, almost as if she knew something that he didn't. "Well, Sleepyhead, time to get up and out into the world and take care of business. The day isn't getting any younger."

Tifa smiled, and leaned over to give Vincent a sloppy, affectionate peck on the cheek. Vincent pecked her back, and she hopped out of bed, scampering happily off to the shower.

Vincent was never one to just hop out of bed. Roll out in a daze, or more often drag himself reluctantly, but he never hopped. This morning was no exception.

For a man who'd been unconscious for a significant portion of his life, the man sure did like to sleep. As he lay there, reminiscing about his dream (and grinning like a giddy fool despite himself), he suddenly noticed something.

He whipped the sheet off his body and looked down at himself.

On his belly were a lot of white, translucent flakes, and a few stray, long, blond hairs.

Vincent curled up, and he went back to sleep.


~~~~ The End ~~~~

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Disclaimer: A big, fat, geometric company owns them. I do not. And that is sad. On account of I think they have a lot more fun playing in my sandbox. Well, maybe except for that whole tentacle episode...
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© Copyright 2006 Justin Tyler. All rights reserved. Publication or distribution of any kind is prohibited without the written consent of the author.
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