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Equinox	By : sergeantshardykins Category: Final Fantasy VII > Het - Male/Female Views: 1205 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Equinox
- 1
Notes from Shardy: Hello, everyone. This will be my debut fic for AFF.Net. I hope you all enjoy this, as it took me a while to spit out.
Please note that the following smut scene between Cloud and Tifa occurs just before he left to join Soldier. Meaning that they�re both barely fourteen years of age and doing �the nasty�. XD It was definitely a different kind of fic altogether for me to write, especially when in the midst of it all, you have a little mentally instability going on in the background (I like making my audience think).
So, if you are offended by this, please go find another ClouTi fic to enjoy. No, I won�t get mad if you leave. I never claimed my stuff to be written for everyone.
I must also warn that my writing is a little shaky as it�s been awhile since I�ve written ficcage. Not to mention this is my first ever Final Fantasy VII fic. The Cloud and Tifa muses are still not used to me yet, and visa versa, so if it�s a little OOC, I apologize in advance.
And with that out of the way, enjoy!

Disclaimer: No, I do not own any of the characters dwelling in or having to with the universe that involves Final Fantasy. Square Enix (Squeenix) are the ones who lay official claim to them. I�m simply borrowing these lovely characters for my own demented purposes.

***

Again. Here again. Why? Why was he always coming back here? He had been here so many times before, but, like now, he could not remember what exactly happened. He could when he was awake, at least he thought he could, but every time he returned to this place, the memory seemed to vanish and all he experienced here was as if for the first time. Only the lingering sense of familiarity indicated that, yes, he had been here before.
�Let�s do something crazy!�
The voice, the cheerful female voice filled with so much energy and hint of mischief came out of nowhere, echoing throughout the void that surrounded him. Suddenly, with a mere eye-blink, he found himself under a starlit sky that looked all too-familiar, wearing clothes that were all-too familiar, and apparently hiding in a small patch of trees on the outskirts of a tiny, country village that was all-too familiar.
He had indeed been here before. And though all senses told him that, logically, he should inquire as to his whereabouts and what was going on, other words left his mouth before he could even register a thought: �Tifa, you�re going to get into a lot of trouble.�
Perhaps this was a memory of some kind? It would explain why he couldn�t say what he really wanted to say, why the words just left his mouth so automatically.
He also noticed that he didn�t use �we� in his remark. Well, truth be told, he would get into serious trouble simply for being ten feet near her in the first place, and so it had been for the past six years. But considering the reputation he had established for himself, he no longer felt obligated to consider those mediocre things called consequences.

Glancing back to her, she was glaring at him from over her shoulder, her brown eyes flashing amidst the few strands of black hair that clung stubbornly to her face. Ever the tomboy, she didn�t seem to care that climbing this wall was especially difficult in a dress, nor that he was entertaining the dirty pleasure of where he was fixating his gaze. However, he had learned long ago to bottle any emotions that came across him, if he felt any at all by this point, and so his face remained expressionless.
But he had not practiced repressing the tiny fluttering that tickled the pit of stomach, making him terribly uncomfortable.
Yes, yes, this was a memory. He was even beginning to recollect what happened now. A first.
By this time, she had reached the top of the wall. She grinned down at him, perched regally like a princess in sole authority over everything around her, including him if she so desired.
�No backing out now!� he reminded her. �This was your idea!�
�I�m just making sure that you don�t chicken out on me, soon-to-be Soldier!� she shot back.
�Yeah, whatever. Now move it, so I can climb.�
Once she jumped down, disappearing to the other side, he grabbed the same tree branch and scrambled up and over the wall with surprising quickness. Well, surprising to anyone else who saw him, for he had been training night and day since he was eight for the next dawn. Tomorrow was spring. Tomorrow he would finally receive the respect that had been denied to him his whole life.
That�s right. She had called me outside again, saying she wanted to explore the Shinra Mansion with me before I left. That was our last memory together, just like the night when we made our promise. Strange. How come I never thought about this before?
Landing on the grass, he found her standing against a tree, waiting for him. Her eyes were staring up at the looming black mansion before them, her expression a mixture of fascination and fear. His gaze joined hers, beholding an edifice that could have very well been the breeding ground for every childhood nightmare imagined. �This place is even scarier behind the wall,� she whispered.
�You seriously don�t believe there�s a zombie or vampire or whatever living in that basement, do you?� he snorted. Truthfully, he was masking his own doubts and sense of foreboding.
�That�s what the other kids in the village are saying!� she snapped defensively. �I just want to see it for myself!�
�Yet you ask me to come along with you,� he teased.
�Well, it is an old house and it could still be dangerous,� she pointed out. �What if I fall or something? It is much safer to travel in numbers, even in abandoned houses.�
When he was younger, he probably would�ve accepted the answer and leave it at that. However, he wasn�t a little boy anymore, he wasn�t exactly what she thought him to be, and it seemed that his cynicism would always force its way out to have the last say in the end.
�That still doesn�t explain why I�m here,� he retorted, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he also leaned against the tree.
Where am I going with this? Shouldn�t we have gone inside by now?

What? You mean you don�t know?

She understood the question now and her hands folded in front of her, fingers interlacing delicately again and again from jumpy nerves. �Because�� She was struggling with the words and he could tell. ��because�tomorrow�s spring, right? And you may be gone for a long time.�
So? But he didn�t react, nothing. He stood there silently, waiting patiently for her to finish her thought, unable to help but wonder just how sincere she was being.
Perhaps we didn�t go in until later.
Or maybe you didn�t go in at all. Ever thought about that?
�Cloud�� Her voice was so soft. Soft like a feathery caress down his spine. He shivered slightly. That annoying, ticklish feeling returned to his stomach, much more prominent this time.
�Cloud, I�I think�I think I like you��
HUH?? No, this had to be wrong! She wouldn�t say such a thing now and she most certainly wouldn�t say such a thing back then! Every day they passed each other, with a glance, a slight gesture, it meant nothing beyond a simple friendship. A childhood relationship that lasted even as adults, but would never step into the boundaries of a relationship between a man and a woman.
Right?
He shivered again and his face burned. He knew he had to say something, but when he opened his mouth to make his usual sardonic comments, his throat felt sticky and dry. Words, made for no matter what the reason, refused to form.
�I guess�� she continued, �well, I was hoping that we could make one last special memory together--like on that night when we made our promise. Before you go.�
By exploring the Shinra Mansion? Talk about special.
But that�s what we did! I remember, we did explore the mansion to see if the rumors about some monster living in its basement were true.
Did you find what you were looking for?
Technically, but not then. There was nothing there that we could see at the time so we quickly got bored and went home.
Hmph. What a dull substitute.
�Hey! Aren�t you going to say anything!�
He snapped back into focus to realize that she was glaring at him again. She actually wanted him to say something? What could he say?
I think I like you.
No, that wasn�t right. No way that could be right.
�When you say that�you mean, beyond friendship right?� It was a stupid question. A really stupid question. But he had to know. For the stupidest reason, he had to know the answer.
This feeling had been hurting him for far too long now.
She squirmed, uncomfortable, and didn�t say anything. He�d thought as much.
But I like you. I like you so much. More than friends.
The silence between them stretched thick and heavy, near to the point of suffocating. His stomach churned viciously upon nothing, and he was suddenly scared about becoming sick. He could hear his heartbeat, slamming over and over in against his chest and drummed like relentless thunder in his skull.
I don�t wanna be friends with you anymore! It hurts too much being your friend.
Such a bizarre thought.
Fingers slipping into fingers. A small head resting on his shoulder. He stopped shaking so much, but his pulse was racing and he could barely breathe.
�Cloud?�
�Hmm?�
�You�re gonna come back, okay? Once you�ve become a great Soldier like Sephiroth, you�re gonna come back. I�ll hunt you down and kick your butt if you don�t.�
He didn�t doubt it for a moment. Not her. They were already fourteen years, but she was still taller than he was. And with her own intense training she had been taking, he knew he still had a way to go before he could match her fighting skills.
His fingers moved on their own accord, stroking her palm. He immediately liked the feel of her skin, smooth and soft; liked it so much that he felt the urge to taste it. He turned his head slightly to gaze at her. She looked so pretty--no beautiful--standing there with winter�s last moonlight filtering through the leaves above her. The light accented softly with her dress, a delicate fabric of aquamarine that tenderly hugged long legs, rounded hips, and blossoming breasts that he had caught himself staring at for more than a few times in the past. And her eyes! They looked so dark now, sparkling like endless midnight. Eyes that revealed a entire spectrem of emotions without shame, without�
�I�m sorry!�
What?
She had backed a few steps away from him, eyes watering over like she was about to cry. �I�m sorry! Exploring the mansion�I really didn�t want to do that! I just�wanted to see you again!� She quickly backtracked, and he find himself almost smiling at the display. How many emotions could possibly be going through her right now that she couldn�t decide which one to reveal? �I�I mean, because you know how Daddy says that you can�t be around me anymore, and so that means we can�t really hang out or even be seen together around the village, and this place is so small that we can�t--�
�Tifa��
Her voice died in an instant as she watched him approach her.
If only I could feel as much as you do. If only I could show so much. How is it that you can live every day with such passion unveiled to the entire world and not regret it? How?
What am I doing?
He would try it. If just to remind himself that he was still a feeling human being, then he would try it.
He was mere inches away from her, now, and though she seemed scared and unsure of herself, she did not back away any further. Heart racing and skull throbbing, he stared at her, noting the way her face flushed and her lips were parted ever so slightly, inviting�
She said she had wanted to do something crazy. Let�s show her insane!
Their hot breath intertwined as their faces drew closer and closer, eyes nearly shut, noses brushing against the other. His lips hovered over hers, quivering, hesitant, before he finally closed the space between them. Now their mouths were softly rubbing together in a tender moment, while his arms wrapped around her tiny waist to pull her even closer to him.
It wasn�t enough for him. But it had been more than enough to shatter the bottle into a million pieces inside of him. Delicate emotions that he had carefully planted far from his mind over the years raced to the surface in a frantic rage. Somewhere in the distance, he heard her gasp. His awareness returned to him in time to realize that his tongue had shoved its way into her mouth, and his hands were touching her in places he had only considered in the private sanctuary of his room in the dead of night. He almost pulled away, to apologize to her, but mostly to escape from these strange and frightening sensations that were threatening to overwhelm him again.
She wouldn�t let him. Just as he started to pull back, her own tongue darted forward to compete with his, and her arms slid tightly around his shoulders to clutch at his back. What started as a sweet first-kiss between two sexually inexperienced teenagers became a hot, moist wrestling match between their mouths, tongues slapping wetly against each other while thread-like slivers of saliva trailed down their chins. Their hips began grinding together roughly, in a torturous foreshadow of things to come, if they would let it.
But�why does it hurt so much? Why does my body feel so good�but at the same time, I�m going to break apart?
At some point, they found themselves lying on the cool grass, drenched with spittle and sweat that rolled along their heated skin underneath too-tight clothes. As he devoured her neck, lapping and nipping at the salty flesh, she somehow managed to wiggle her arms out of the thin straps of her dress, pushing the fabric down to her waist. The stakes were raising higher now, and he stared down at her, unsure if she really wanted to go this far or if this was some terrifyingly realistic scene from another sick fantasy he was having in his bedroom. �Tifa�� he groaned, and he couldn�t even pick a reason why he had said her name.
As the battle between nature and reason raged within him, nature seemed to win out for a moment as he lowered his head to flick his tongue over the tiny nipple of one of her breasts, the nub red and hard with need.
�Oooh��
It seemed that she really liked that, so he did it again, eliciting the same response. Moving as if this was nothing more than a dream, he took the breast into his mouth, sucking softly at first. Spurred by the tiny gasps and mewls she made, her fingers digging into his hair, he began applying more pressure, sucking harder�
�Ahh! Nnn�Cl-Cloud!�
He quickly backed off, realizing he had gotten carried away. The dream faded and reality quickly leaped in to take its place. This was no fantasy; nothing but the front yard of a rundown mansion where a pair of 14-year-olds were making a futile attempt to hump like rabbits in the cover of the final winter night so that their parents might not find out. Seeing her there, lying half-naked beneath him, he felt his face burn again, this time with shame. �Tifa�� he spoke up again. �Maybe we shouldn�t--�
�Please, Cloud,� she interjected breathlessly, though she was not looking at him, cutting him off completely. �Please�be my first.�
I can�t! This isn�t how it happened! None of this happened, so why--?
�I�meant it, Cloud. I really did.� He thought he saw something sparkle in the grass. Was she--was that why her face was turned away?
So I couldn�t see her tears?
�You were the only boy I ever really liked. The only boy I wanted to do�things�like this with.� Her face was even redder than his and it looked like she was doing everything in her ability to keep from crying openly. �I just wanted our last night to be really special. That�s all.�
Special? Reality was still present, so what was special about it? The current setting could hardly be deemed as anything comfortable, much less special. The night itself was chilly, but the air surrounding them was sticky and reeked with sweat. He was trembling all over, his insides twisting so violently it was all he could do not to throw up all over her. Not to mention, he had heard that it really hurts the girl the first time�

A more sinister voice pointed out that she would probably not feel anything in the first place. After all, he was just barely into his teens so it wasn�t like he was particularly endowed or anything. Actually, if truth be told, he was suddenly confronted with a rather mortifying memory of being cornered in the boys� bathroom at school, pants and underwear being shoved down to his ankles, and proving to all that Cloud Strife was indeed the smallest boy in the village�in every aspect. Why would she want him, anyway? If this kind of thing was what she wanted, then why not Daryl or Alik, who were always taking girls into the woods at night? They were obviously much more experienced�and much more packaged.
As if sensing that he was having second thoughts, she pulled the bottom of her dress up, bunching all the material in a heap at her waist. She took one of his hands and slipped it under her panties, the cotton soaked with natural lubricant, cupping his palm against that searing, wet junction between her thighs. She gasped softly, hips rising, when one of his fingers pushed inside of her, rubbing slowly against the moist flesh. �Cloud�� was all she could say, barely a whisper of a breath. �Cloud��
No, I can�t back out now. I can�t. It hurts�
Maybe now you are beginning to understand.
Trembling all over, he somehow managed to push her underwear down her knees and she kicked them the rest of the way off. Silently inside, he cursed himself for his inexperience. He wouldn�t have any other but this girl before him, and that stubborn mindset was now costing him. Many nights he had dreamed of sharing this moment with her, in a secret room, dimly lit with candlelight, and he could handle her body with the finesse of any fantastic lover.
A fantasy, and nothing more.
He positioned himself between her legs, his hands flying to his pants, not sure if he could free himself fast enough. Unfortunately, he was shaking so bad that his fumbling fingers could not properly grasp his belt or zipper or anything at all. Panic swelled in his chest and something got stuck in his windpipe. If he couldn�t�
Calm hands reached forward, unbuckling his pants and sliding the zipper down with all the ease that he lacked. She smiled up at him as she helped pull down the sweat drenched pants and underwear even though both were trying to cling to him like a second skin. Her face began blazing at the sight of him; his face was on the verge of exploding from blood overflow. He hated this. He didn�t want her to see him. Especially after that incident when the other boys had practically made him a public display. He swallowed hard, several times, forcing spit past that blockage in his throat. The cottony feeling in his mouth refused to go away. �Hey,� he managed to choke. �If�if I hurt you��
�Then keep going,� she finished, not hesitating in her command for a second as she pulled him back down to capture his lips in another wet kiss.
Occupying her as best he could with his tongue (he was actually starting to get the hang of that), he wrapped her legs around his waist and slid into her, instantly meeting that thin wall of resistance.
Looking back on it, he realized that she hadn�t been lying. He had indeed been her first.
He pushed a little deeper, but nothing happened. He tried again. Still nothing.
Just do it!
He wasn�t sure which of him formed the thought that time.
Teeth gritted in an angry snarl for not able to reach his point of release, his hands dug into her hips, leaving bruises on the tender skin. He pulled out only to plunge into her as hard as he could to break through that barrier. She screamed, or at least it sounded like a scream, the moment he rammed her virginity to crimson nothing.
He paused, momentarily forgetting his own need as he gaped down at her. However, there was a tinge of irritation as well as alarm etched in his face.
I�I killed her!
It required several deep breaths for him to speak, forcing himself not to think of his most sensitive part encased deep within her, the sensations only existent to him being soft, hot, and deliciously wet. �T-Tifa?� he choked, struggling to keep from thrusting forward anyway. He didn�t want to hurt her anymore than he already had, but at the same time he had to go deeper into that warmth. It was spreading throughout the rest of his body, tantalizing his nerves with seductive fingers, promising that there was even better further down.
�I told you,� she hissed through gritted teeth, sounding as though she were still in a great deal of pain. �Keep going. Don�t stop!�
He would�ve obeyed without hesitation, had that other side of him not felt so guilty. It actually made him form a protest. �But I--�
She grabbed his shoulders and pushed her hips further against his, forcing him deeper inside, forcing whatever breath he had left to hitch at a dead stop in his throat. She pulled back a little, and did it again. Back and again. Back and again. Rhythmic and slow.
Much too slow.
With a low growl, he lay full flush atop her, her arms clinging to his neck while he pumped into her at a quickening pace. �Cloud�Cloud�Cloud�!� She was gasping his name over and over like a religious chant but he could barely hear her, not over the continuous pounding in his head that reverberated like hammers against his brain. Faster and louder. Faster and louder.
And little did he know that his body was moving to match the frenzied pace in his head, pound for pound, tearing into her with vicious possession. His zipper rubbed the skin of her inner thigh raw from the violent friction. She had untangled his ponytail and buried her fingers in his hair, pulling at the golden strands. The pain only urged him on, the putrid scent of blood and bodily fluid driving him to an animalistic insanity.
Then he hit it. He didn�t know what, but he must�ve hit something for he suddenly exploded. It was like the boiling blood within him was too much for his body to handle, and therefore bursting him into a million pieces as he tumbled into the oblivion of his first orgasm. She came shortly after him, but he was so spent that he was hardly aware of her body quivering and rocking beneath him.
Finally, silence. Everything became dangerously still. The only exception was their heavy breathing.
What�what did we just do?
Those thoughts were forming in his head again. Those strange, repetitive thoughts. Like someone else was inside his head.
That�did that really happen? Was that what really happened?
Who knows? Considering your mental stability, you�re really in no position to determine which memories are real and which are the illusions, now are you?
�It�s cold,� she whispered, bringing him back to that cursed reality. Except that being here, with her, it didn�t seem so bad anymore.
�We should go back now,� he replied. �Before they discover that we�re missing.� But he didn�t want to move. And he could tell that she didn�t want to, either, as she was shaking her head.
�No, let�s stay here. Just a little longer.�
She snuggled under him and his head rested against her collarbone, his eyes closing for a well-deserved rest. Let them discover what they had done. He was leaving, anyway. And if he had to, he would take her with him.
When he woke up again, he found himself in a strange room, blankets tangled tightly around his body. He was lying in some bed, alone in a tiny bedroom. The body curled amongst the shambled blankets and wrinkled sheets was not a scrawny, awkward boy of fourteen, but a sleek, muscular man of twenty-three. He sat up, breathing a little faster than normal, and his body was covered in sweat.
A dream. That�s all it was. Just a fantasy I had. Funny. I suppose there are some things I just can�t get over.
On a whim, he glanced at the window, soft light trickling past the drawn curtains. He could hear the stirring and rumbling of life awakening in Edge, announcing the arrival of more than just a new dawn.
Spring was finally here.
-End-
- 1
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Equinox