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Dirty Little Secret	By : crymsonpassion Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 833 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Dirty Little
Secret: Chapter One
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Don�t own
them, never will. Unless Square wants to share�.Please?
-I Light a
Candle
In the Garden Of Love
To Blind The Angels
Looking Down
from Above-
Bon Jovi, �Dirty Little Secret�
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Rivals. Ha. If only people actually knew what went on between me
and Puberty Boy before the war, they would know how much more than rivals we
really were. And unfortunately, it was unable to continue for so many different
reasons. I will say that I miss him, but I wouldn�t say that I am desperate to
get him back. That will never happen. He has moved on. But I suppose to tell a
story properly, you have to start from the beginning.
A smirk on my
face and my head held high, I walk down the hallway with complete confidence
that if I didn�t have, I wouldn�t be me. I�m celebrating my fuckin�
16th birthday for Hyne�s sake. And the only thing
that can complete this day complete is a spar from the only person in the
Garden who is worth the time it takes to lift my blade. I could care less that
it�s almost curfew, I�m gonna let him know what I
want and when I want it. As I travel closer and closer to his room, almost lost
in my own little world, I think off all the things being 16 means. No more
junior cadets in my classes, allowed to spar outside of Garden, allowed
attempting the SeeD exam. Best of all, I am allowed
out one whole half hour later for curfew. The corridors are relatively quiet
for this time of night, due to the fact that it�s the middle of the solstice
break and most of the other cadets, junior class men and non essential SeeDs have headed to their homes for the break. As for me,
I have no home other than Garden, just like the other remaining people. As much
as Garden is a private military academy that snobs like to send their kids to,
it�s a refuge for us orphans, a place to put down roots. But most of all, it�s
a place that the government can send us after we get too old for people to
adopt us. This is exactly why I am here.
My ever
present smirk is plastered on my face, and I am as smug as always. I know I am
hot, and I want every one else to see that too. The only difference in my
stride from any other day in day to day Garden life is the fact that I am not
being flanked by my posse. Having returned to Raijin�s
parents place in Dollet for the solstice break, I
actually like the quietness that doesn�t normally accompany them. And it is
through this silence that I hear the muffled voices coming from the closed off
common room.
�Come on!
There ain�t anyone else here. No one will hear ya.� I recognize the voice as a SeeD
cadet a year ahead of me, not really important enough for me to care about what
his name is. I�ve had a couple of run-ins with him, so you think I would care,
but when I am victorious each time, it doesn�t really matter to me.
�For Hyne�s sake, Pussyheart. Afraid that your
boyfriend will find you?� the voice caused my ears to perk up. No one but me is
allowed to insult him like that. Feeling my anger rising, I change my
motives and turn to the closed door of the common room. Noticing it is locked,
I use my new found authority to override the lock code and the door slides open
to a sight that causes my jaw to drop immediately.
There was my
favourite spar partner kneeling on the floor in front of this guy, his arms
bound behind him, eye-level with this kid�s cock. Squall�s left eye was
swollen, most likely going to blacken, and his lower lip was split, dry blood
colouring the lightly tinted lips.
�Almasy? What the fuck?� the
cadet cursed stuffing himself back into his uniform pants and zipping up. I
felt a new range of hate evolve in me, and for once it wasn�t directed to
Squall or the world in general. It was all centered on this prick in front of
me.
�Leave him
alone.� I growl, laced with malice.
This causes
the bastard to grin at me, as he placed a hand on Squall�s shoulder. �Why? Is
he your little whore? I hear he makes the absolutely cutest noises during sex.�
And as if to prove a point, he shoves Squall forcibly to the ground.
�Nah, just figured that you wouldn�t want to be thrown out of
Garden.� I shrug, trying to regain the control that I have lost before I get
all of us in trouble.
�Thrown out?
Why the fuck would I get thrown out?� Judging by the vein in his forehead that
was growing thicker and bulging more with each passing second, I�d say he was
starting to get a little bit pissed off.
I let out a
low chuckle. �You�re telling me that you forget Line 68, Paragraph 13 of the SeeD rules and regulations? That�s convenient.�
You can almost
hear the clich� gears turning as his pathetic mind tries to mentally go over
the rule book we are all suppose to have memorized. With the look of utter concentration
on his face, I can tell that someone hasn�t been keeping up with his studies.
�Library books
shall not, under any circumstances leave Garden property?� he questions, still
unsure about his answer.
To my
surprise, it is Squall who firsts laughs at this cadet�s stupidity. Mind you,
it is only a few breaths that might possibly be a laugh, but he is the first
one to make a sound.
�Line 68,
Paragraph 13: Any SeeD, SeeD
cadet or Junior Cadet cause in the act of sexual promiscuity will be
immediately discharged, no matter their rank, level or status.� the stoic
brunet said, almost with a hint of pleasure in his voice.
The cadet
looked stunned at this gem of information, but at the same time, a look of
ironic pleasure passed over his features, as if this was just what he wanted to
have happen.
�And what are
you going to do about it, Almasy? The headmaster
would never believe a tale of yours, especially if it involves you rescuing Pussyheart here. Everyone knows how much you hate each
other. You have no credibility.� He grinned a Cheshire
cat grin, looking very happy with himself. Too bad I was about to seriously
burst his bubble.
This caused me
to chuckle deeply. �So I guess you never got the message about who would be
taking over from Joni as the head of the Disciplinary Committee, then did you?� The look on this prick�s face told me
everything that I needed to know. All I was waiting for was for it to sink
completely into his thick skull.
�Is the
Headmaster on crack or something? Making you head of the Disciplinary
Committee?�
I only smirk.
�What the Headmaster does in his free time is none of your concern. Now, unless
you want to be packing your bags tonight, I�d get the fuck out of here right
now.� I glare at him and before you could even say Gripping Geezards,
he is running out of the room with his tail between his legs, leaving only
myself and the cold brunet in the room.
Said brunet
has managed to get to his knees during all the commotion and I can see him
breathing heavily. Fuck, that prick has done a number on him; even I show a
little more mercy than that. Then I notice the gentle swaying of his body,
looking as if he was about to fall right back over. I guess the ice princess
really does need my help.
�Up you go.� I
grunt, placing a hand under each arm, and pulling him to his feet. Knowing that
he was still swaying, I cast a cura spell on him. His
eyes go wide in realization of what I just did, but I think it might be more in
relief than anything. Sure that he can stand on his own now; I reach down and
pull a switch blade out of my boot. I quickly use it to cut the scarf that his
arms were bound with, letting the piece of fabric float to the ground as I
replace the switchblade in my boot. Squall lets out a sigh of relief as he rubs
his raw, red wrists.
�Thanks.� He
whispers, not making eye contact. With his head tipped forward, his chocolate
hair falls into his eyes and makes him look more innocent then I have ever seen
him before.
�You okay?� I
ask, the uncomfortable atmosphere of the situation finally hitting me.
�You�re
probably disgusted with me at the moment.� I was thoroughly surprised at this
comment. Obviously there was something about him that was completely off today,
he�s never acted like this around me before.
Letting out a
sigh, I grab the back of his leather jacket, and drag him down the hall, glad
for the fact that, number one, everyone was home on break and no one would see
us. The other reason I was glad for was that everyone thought that I would use
my position as head of the disciplinary committee against Squall, and boy was
that coming in handy right now. Finally breaking out of my thoughts, with a
closing wisecrack that if I did that too often, I�d end up like Squall, I
realized that we were standing in front of my dorm room.
With a growl,
I punch in my access code, the mechanical door sliding open to give us
entrance. All I could think was that I am so glad that my roommate is gone.
�Um, I should
go.� Squall whispered, then turned to leave.
�I don�t think
so, ice princess.� I smirk, then grabbing the back of his jacket; I shove him
into my bedroom. This earns me a serious Leonheart
death by icicles glare. And it might have worked on me, if it weren�t for the
fact that I have been getting one everyday of my life as long as I could remember.
�Easy, Squally-boy. I just brought you here to fill
out an official complaint form against whoever that prick
was.� If it was possible, the glare only became more intense.
�It�s Adam Mekeal. And�.Whatever.� he crossed his arms over his chest,
then leaned against the wall, still unable to meet my
gaze.
�You don�t
honestly want to let him get away with this?� I was a bit surprised at this
thought. Squall was not one to let anyone push him around. And I should know.
�You gotta be kidding.� And as the words left my
mouth, a mechanical whirling began, and every light in my room went out. Not
even the lights that normally flood into my room were there anymore. The only
light was a very pale light, enough to make it not completely black, from the
moon reflecting off of the metallic Garden.
Squall glared
at the door, knowing all to well that if the power had failed, there was a big
chance that he wouldn�t be leaving anytime soon. The brunet stepped on the
sensor pad, and when the door gave no response, he let out a reluctant sigh and
turned to the keypad. I stretch out on my small bed with a smirk. After he
punched several numbers into the unresponsive keypad, he turned around.
�Give it up,
Squall-boy. Face it, you are stuck here with me until
they come around with the emergency keys. You may as well make yourself comfy.�
I still have the smirk on my face as I receive yet another sharp glare. With
that, he slid down the door, to sit himself on top of the floor sensor.
Probably so he can bolt the exact moment when the power comes back on. And I
know sure as hell that he won�t be offering any conversation.
After only a
few minutes, I get bored of sitting in the dark and remember something. I get
off the bed, causing the springs to squeak and Squall to look over at me.
�What are you
doing?� the ice princess asked me.
�Pardon me if
I don�t want to sit in the fuckin' dark anymore. I�m
just gonna light a candle.� I growl, before pulling a
couple of plain white pillar candles out of my night stand. With a mumbled fire
spell, the wicks are lit, creating a soft glow and allowing me to see my guest
in full. His arms are wrapped around his bent knees and he is holding on for
dear life. I inwardly smirk that he feels this
uncomfortable around me, even though we are both unarmed and I am not even that
close to him.
�Don�t worry,
Squally. I�ve blinded the Angels, so they won�t come down to rape you. You know
that�s what they do when the power goes out.� I can�t help tease him no matter
the situation.
�Can it, Almasy.� He spits out, obviously more than a little pissed
off at our predicament. �Why did you want me here in the first place?�
His question
takes me a little off guard. I half wasn�t expecting him to be so outright with
his questions, but on the other hand, when is Squall anything but outright,
when he talks that is. I shouldn�t have expected anything less. I take a seat
at my desk, straddling the chair and looking at him. I let out a deep sigh
before starting.
�First of all,
I of all people know that you are not weak. Fuck, I have the scars to prove it.
Why the fuck were you letting a pathetic asshole like
Adam Mekeal dominate you like that?� I know it sounds
a lot harsher than I meant it to, but I was trying to find out all the answers
that I wanted.
These comments
only earn me glares, not a single word passing through the brunet�s still
swollen lip.
�Are you
trying to tell me that you wanted it?� my mind has started to jump to
conclusions once again, filling in the blanks that the boy in front of me
refuses to offer answers for.
For some
reason, the ever present glare disappears from his features momentarily.
Unfortunately, I know that means I have come a little too close to home.
�Don�t pretend
like you know anything about something you know absolutely nothing about.� Definitely
hit the nail on the head, and the glare is renewed ten fold.
I lean my head
forward as I try to sort out some of my thoughts. How do I approach this
subject? So I do what I seem to be known for. I act with little thought put in
first.
�So, are you just
curious, or do you actually think you are gay, or bi?� I mentally want to kick
myself for that little remark.
Of all the
reactions that I thought would come from the stoic brunet, the one I receive
was the only one that I would not have expected in a thousand years.
He blushed,
followed by a death glare. Of course the blush only lasted for a moment, but it
was there just long enough for me to catch it. And it was the reaction that
caused me to think. Squall Leonheart actually
blushed. I really must have struck a nerve.
�Why do you
even care, Almasy? Even if I did confirm it, or deny
it, you would only use it against me.� His tone startled me more than I could
ever imagine.
There was
definitely something that he wasn�t telling me, and the way that things were
going here tonight, I doubt the brunet is going to divulge any more information
to me. I don�t know why this is bothering me so much. I never took interest in
caring about anyone other than myself, but for some reason, seeing him so
vulnerable, I feel I need to do something about it. To see someone so strong
reduced to the state he was in is difficult for anyone to see.
�You know, for
someone who just got his ass saved from being raped, you sure are acting like a
cold bastard. I did you a favour back there, and I�m not asking for any
repayment. Maybe a thank you, but you don�t owe me anything.� Once again, my
brain is experiencing lag from my mouth. Even I can�t believe the verbal bowel
moments that I am capable of.
�Fine. Thank you so very much for ruining my life.� He glares at me with
renewed hatred. I just couldn�t believe it. This prick acts as if everything
that happened tonight is completely my fault.
�Ruined? What
the fuck are you talking about? If I hadn�t come in when I did, you�d be walking
with a limp for the next week. And you�re telling me that I ruined you life?� I
rise to my feet, effectively knocking the chair out of the way. I am feeling a
little more than pissed off, knowing that my temper will rear it�s ugly head
soon enough.
And true to
his nature, Squall raises to his feet to meet my challenge.
�Fuck off, Almasy. You know as well as I do, that come daybreak
tomorrow, everyone in Garden will know that I like cock and I need you to save
me. If that isn�t my life being fucked over and ruined, I don�t know what is.�
The look in his eyes was one that I wouldn�t soon forget. Fear, hate, sadness,
hurt. On top of all that, there was one more thing in those stormy grey eyes
that will remain in my mind forever. Tears were beginning to form at the
corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over at the slightest movement.
So many things
are going through my head right now. My biggest rival is standing here in front
of me, about to cry for Hyne�s sake, but at the same
time he is showing more strength and courage than I could ever hope to possess.
That�s when the first revelation hits me. I envy him. To be able to hold so
much inside can�t be good for you in anyway, shape or form, and when you seem
to hurt the most, to hold back the tears. Even in all the battles that we have
fought over the years, I have never once seen him cry. And that�s when the
second revelation of the night. He�s not really just a rival to me. He is a
friend to me, even if I may not be considered a friend to him, he is definitely
one to me. We�ve known each other practically our whole lives; I honestly can�t
remember a time in my life that he wasn�t right there with me. Sure I have Fuu and Rai, but sparring isn�t
nearly as fun when your life or certain body parts aren�t in mortal danger.
Even today, I was more interested in having a fight with Squall on my birthday
then going in Dollet to spend the night partying with
them.
But some
friend I am. I�ve, as he put it, ruined his life. Here he is standing in front
of me, giving the ice goddess herself a run for her money, and he is blaming me
for the ruining of his life, when in reality, I have. I won�t even try to deny
it. But what can I do to rectify my mistakes? It�s all too obvious that he
hates me and will never think of me as anything other than the bastard that
fucked up his life.
Feeling more
than a little ashamed of myself, I once again look into his face, only to
witness one more oddity in this altogether strange night. A tear was falling
down his cheek. I guess, sometimes, no matter how hard you try, even and ice
princess such as Squall has no control over his emotions.
Without
realizing what I am doing, I reach a hand out and softly run my gloved finger
up his pale cheek, catching the small bead of moisture on my fingertip. I can
feel the muscles in his cheek go tense as my hand strokes over the pale flesh.
Before I could say or do anything, Squall turned around and began to try and
leave my room, and only then does he remember than that power still has not
come back on.
�Squall�� My
voice was barely above a whisper as I reach out to grab his shoulder.
�Don�t.� The
quiet force in his voice causes me to stop. �I honestly don�t care that you
know I�m gay. But I don�t need you pity.� His words cause so many things to go
through my mind. Still working on its own accord, my mouth blurts out words
with no consulting from my brain.
�You�ve got to
learn the difference between pity and comfort. Because right now it seems that
you could use a friend. Since I am the close thing to one that you seem to
have, I will be here fir you.� I said, finally placing my hand on his shoulder
and spinning the stoic lion back around to face me. The muscles I could feel
under his think leather jacket were tenser than I think I have ever felt. And
that includes all those times that I have shoved him into Garden walls
unexpectedly.
�Friend? You think of yourself as my friend?� he growled, malice
lacing his soft voice. His tone was seriously starting to piss me off.
�What else
would you consider us? I believe that we�ve surpassed that petty rival stage,
Squall. Think about it for a minute.� I bit back the rage that was boiling
beneath my skin and actually said this in a civil manner. I let go of him and
turned to go lay down on my bed. If he wasn�t going to accept the help I was
offering him, why should I waste my time and energy on him?
�Seifer��
Squall was the one this time to whisper a name and reach out. I turned around
to witness a look on his face, not one of hate or rage, but something
completely different then his usual mask of indifference. This was a forlorn
look of lost companionship. Maybe I was too quick to call our relationship
friendship. I guess companionship would have been a better choice, but then
again, when do I ever think?
We just kind of
stood there awkwardly for the next few moments, neither of us sharing our
thoughts, neither of us moving. Just staring at one another.
What happened next, I don�t think that either of us could have prepared for it.
�Cadet 40179, Almasy?� A voice came from behind the closed door. It was
one of the faculty members who came around with the emergency keys. Took them
fucking long enough, but at the same time, they came way too soon. I let out a
deep sigh, pissed off at the bastards timing.
�Yes, Sir.� I reply, Squall just turning to look away from me, almost
as if he wanted to hide something.
�Are you
alone?� the voice called again. Squall finally met my eyes.
�No, sir. Cadet 42195, Leonheart is in
here. He had an issue with another cadet and was just filling out an official
complaint form when the power went out.� I said, as the door was manually
pushed open and the strangely robed man came into sight, the candle light
making him look more than a little frightening.
�Very well.� The faculty member nodded as he made a couple of marks on
the clipboard in his hands. �If you are finished, you may come with me and I
will give you access to your dormitory.� As he spoke, I can only assume that he
is looking at Squall, but who can tell under those robes. �We are requesting
that everyone stay in their own dormitories until the power returns.�
�We just need
another few moments.� The voice of the brunet completely surprised me. I
figured that he would have bolted at the first chance he got.
�Very well.� The faculty member replied, and then glided out of my
room, leaving the door slightly ajar.
I turn to face
the brunet, but he is looking at the wall again.
�What the
hell? I thought you would dart from here like a glacial eye from the fire
cavern.� I am still in shock at his actions. He mumbles something incoherent.
�Speak up. I didn�t catch that.�
He looks at
me, tension in his face. �I just wanted to say thank you.� He whispers and
walks right over to me. I close my eyes, and prepare for a blow to my chest or
stomach.
But it never
came.
Slowly, I open
my eyes in confusion. I am immediately met by a pair of stormy grey eyes. What
happened next was beyond me. I never knew what came over him, or possessed him
to do it, but it was the last thing that I ever expected from the brunet lion.
He put his hand against my chest, taking part of the black t-shirt I am wearing
into his hand, before pulling me down closer to his height.
�Squall? What are you doing?� I ask, bracing myself once more for
the blow that I know that I more than deserve. Before I can comprehend
anything, Squall leans up close to me and with no hesitation, places his lips
over my own. His hand is still clenching my shirt, and he uses it to pull me
closer, adding more pressure to the joining of our lips. His free hand snakes
up my back, over my shoulders, up the back of my neck, then finally comes to
rest at the back of my head, This sensation is completely new to me, the surge
of energy jolting through my body at a rapid pace as out closed mouth kiss
continued.
Finally
getting over the initial shock that Squall is indeed kissing me, I begin to
respond to his lips. Soft and moist, his lips thoroughly betray their week
appearance, actually quite strong and forceful. Almost as soon as I start to
respond in full force and just as I was about to give his devilish tongue
access to my mouth, he pulled away from the kiss as quickly as he started it,
leaving me desperately wanting more contact.
�Happy birthday, Seifer.� He whispers, giving me one last look
into his slate coloured eyes.
Without another word, the brunet turns and walks out of my room, leaving me
standing there, both speechless and breathless. On their own accord, my gloved
fingers find their way up to touch my slightly moist lips. My mind is reeling
about only two things. First, what the hell was that for; and second, when the
hell can I get another one.

��..
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Dirty Little Secret