Are you too sexy to be my Valentine?

Valentine's Day Ramble

* Scene takes place at the wonder square in the Gold Saucer where the FF7 group, Chez and Jessica are doing random things*

Yuffie: Yah! I beat you yet again in the fighting game Chez!
Chez: ... Yeah? Well, I'll just beat you up for real then, Hi Ya!

~Yuffie and Chez begin to throw punches and Reno walks in~

Reno- Yes, rock on... a cat fight! –Chants- Cat fight! Cat fight!
Yuffie: Shaddap Reno! –Throws Conformer at him-
Reno- -Ducks- Ha! Missed me... Ah!

~Yuffie pounces on Reno and wrestles with him~

Chez- Oh come on guys, it's Valentines day, a day of love!
Yuffie- ... WHAT?! You just tried to beat the crap outta me earlier!
Chez- ... sorry, I forgot; but it was all out of love!
Reno and Yuffie- -Faceplant-

~Reno looks at Yuffie with a big grin plastered on his face~

Reno- Hey yeah Yuffie, it is a day of love...-Wink, wink-
Yuffie- -Making a face- Um…no
Reno- -Facefault- Tch! Fine, I'll go flirt elsewhere

~Jessi walks in and Reno smiles charmingly at her~

Reno- Hey baby, how's it...

~Yuffie smacks him upside the head~

Yuffie- Hey moron! Jessi doesn't even like you!
Jessi- -Mumbles- well I wouldn't go that far ;3
Chez- Yea; besides, she has a man anyway
Jess- ... that isn't here D=
Reno- Damnit! Valentines Day sucks

~Reno storms off and Jessi shrugs~

Jess- Poor Reno doesn't stand a chance with me >D
Chez- Ooh, rejection!
Yuffie- why doesn't he?
Jess- cuz he's your man
Yuffie- ya right! He wishes he were
Chez- Poor Reno, he really likes you Yuffie
Jess- yea, go make his day special
Yuffie- Nah, I don't wanna or gotta so I won't
Jess- Oh yea? Remember who the authoress is?
Yuffie- ... you wouldn't
Jess- >D –Evil grin-
Yuffie- @_@ Nooooooo! Please don't! Arrgh, Reeeeeeeenoooo!

~Jessi smiles as Yuffie runs after Reno~

Jess- Heh, heh
Chez- You're a goober
Jess- Hey, not so fast, you have a surprise too

~She points to the door~

Chez- Hey! Is that Rufus?

~Rufus does his trademark grin to the girls as he enters~

Rufus- Ladies, happy sweetest day
Jess- Hiya Rufy!

~She winks at him and nods her head towards Chez and he nods~

Rufus- Lauren, would you care to join me on the gondola?

~Chez looks from Jessi then to Rufus with big bright sparkly eyes~

Chez- I wo lopiha
Rufus- Huh?
Jess- -Sweatdrop- She said she would love to

~They exit and Jessi sits on the bike racing game~

Jess- ….-Sigh- …..Fuckin Valentines day D<

~Cloud and Tifa are about to walk in when Tifa spots Jessi moping and pulls Cloud back~

Cloud- Hey! I was going to snow board, now that stupid little brat will take over and...
Tifa- Shh! Cloud, we have more important things to worry about! -Pointing to Jessi-
Cloud- She looks so sad
Tifa- Well duh! Her boyfriend isn't here to make her happy!
Cloud- Oh yea, geeze it must suck to not have someone you love not there with you on Valentines day; let alone any other day too.
Tifa- it does, believe me –Glares-
Cloud- -Putting his hands up- Hey, I'm here now aren't I?

~Aerith, Elena, Rude, Sephiroth and Vincent join them~

Aeris- Hello everyone!
Cloud- Hey you guys, look –Points to Jess-
Vincent- What is troubling her so much?
Tifa- Her boyfriend isn't here so she is really down
Aeris- o= Aw that’s terrible!
Rude- What should we do then?

~They all think for a minute when Cloud snaps his fingers and grins~

Cloud- I know who can make her happy…
Aeris-… I see where you’re going with this
Elena- Heh, heh –Looks at Sephiroth, smirking-
Sephiroth-… what?
Tifa- You know Seph…
Sephiroth- -Glares- SEPHIROTH! GOD DAMNIT! How many times do I have to tell you people its s-e-p-h-i-r-o-t-h!
Tifa- -Completely ignoring him and going on- You are Jessica’s favorite character.
Sephiroth-… your point being?

~Aerith smacks him upside the head with her staff~

Sephiroth- OW! D< Allright! Allright! What warped demented task do I perform now brainiacs?

~The group begins to formulate a plan and as Sephiroth is listening, his jaw drops~

Sephiroth- NO WAY! I’m not doing it!
Aeris- Oh yes, you are.

~Cloud and Rude tackle Sephiroth and drag him away, the girls and Vincent following behind snickering~

Tifa- Poor Sephy, it’s too bad that Jessi likes the villains; this is kinda cruel to do to him.
Elena- Cruel, no; hilarious, definitely yes!
Vincent- This should prove to be quite entertaining…

~They all cackle and exit~
Two Hours Later
Tifa- now, is everyone ready?
Sephiroth-…this is not going to help my reputation.
Aeris-Quiet! Now, let’s go cheer Jessi up!

~She looks to Cloud and Vincent~

Cloud- -Nodding-I’ll go get her and bring her to the Wonder Square.
Vincent- I will see you there
Sephiroth-WHAT! I’M PERFORMING NOW? NO! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!

~He turns to leave when Tifa steps in his path~

Tifa- the place won’t be full, it’s only going to be the group. If you don’t do it, we’ll send you back to Lifestream.

~She cracks her knuckles and Sephiroth sneers, raising his eyebrow and snorting~

Sephiroth-…you wouldn’t dare, besides, I will have Jessi bring me back.
Aeris- -Joining Tifa- We’re not joking Sephiroth, try us. Now… GET GOING!

~Sephiroth glares at them mumbling about revenge and stalks off towards the square…Meanwhile Cloud looks around the Gold Saucer and finds Jessi watching the Chocobo races.~

Jessi- Come on you stupid overgrown Chicken….move it!!!
Cloud-Hey Jessi! –Hug-Happy Valentines Day!
Jessi- -Mutters- Happy my foot, -Tosses bag of gil on the floor-I just lost all my money.
Cloud- Oh, I think you will be changing your opinion soon enough, come with me.

~He holds out his arm and she reluctantly takes it~

Jessi-Allright Cloudy, what are you up to?

~He smiles and leads her to the Wonder Square; the curtain is closed and there are few people there, one of them is Vincent~

Vincent- -Smiling- Hello Jessi, -Hands her a rose- for you.
Jessi-Awwww thanks Vinney. ^//^
Cloud-Have a seat, I hear they are having a special program today.
Vincent- Yes…that should prove to be VERY entertaining…

~Cloud and Vincent look at each other and smirk~

Jessi- -Sits between them- Cool! I wonder what it will be.

~The rest of the group comes in and sits in the front row with Jessi, Cloud and Vincent~

Aeris- Hello everybody! What’s going on?
Chez-Something good I hope!
Jessi-There is Valentines Day program coming on soon.
Yuffie- Coolness! I wonder if it will be funny.
Reno- -puts his arm around her shoulder- Nonsense, it will be romantic.

~Yuffie scoots away from him, but scoots back when Jessi gives her a look~

Yuffie- Oh fine, I give in!

~She sits right next to Reno and puts one arm around him~

Reno- Yea! That’s what I am talking about!
Elena-Shh! It’s starting!

~The curtains open and a man walks out on stage~

Announcer- Ladies and Gentleman! Welcome to the Valentines Day Talent Show!
Rufus-Talent Show? Why is there a talent show on Valentines Day?
Announcer-Why a talent show some of you say? Well, cause all the acts have the Valentine theme!
Rufus- Ah.
Announcer- For our first act, lets welcome the Cupid Children!

~Marlene, the kids from the church and Priscilla walk out on stage all wearing signs that spell out love~

Barret-That’s my girl Marlene!

~Marlene smiles and they all begin to sing. When they are done, everyone stands up and cheers~

Shera-She was so adorable wasn’t she Cid?
Cid-Yea sure... ~he is distracted with a building plan of the Highwind~
Shera- ~smacks his arm~ wasn’t she?
Cid- FUCKIN A’ WOMAN!…Yes! –Gets quiet and mutters when Shera glares at him- ….damnit >.o;

~The show goes on with people doing different acts. The announcer walks back on stage.~

Announcer-Lets all give Cait Sith and President Reeve another round of applause for singing that great Valentine song!

~Everyone applauds and Rufus mutters that he is the real President~

Announcer- well there is only one more act everyone, give it up for the one and only Sephiroth!
Jessi- -Her head snaps up- Sephiroth?! What the fuck is he doing up there?!

~Sephiroth comes out wearing a VERY sexy black button up shirt and pants~

Sephiroth-I dedicate this song to my number one fan and dear friend, Jessi.

~Jessica’s jaw drops as “I’m too sexy” begins to play. Sephiroth sings along~

Sephiroth- I’m too sexy for my shirt -ips open shirt exposing his chest-oo sexy for my shirt, so sexy yeah!

~He throws his shirt at a very shocked and very red Jessi; Girls in audience start to scream~

Aeris—Whistles- Yeah! Take it off, take it all off Sephy!
Sephy--Sweatdrop and thinking: Here goes my reputation…-

~Sephy winks at Jessi and does that cocky little sexy ass smirk of his as he grabs his pants and rips them off, revealing black boxers with hearts all over~

Jessi- O//O!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!

~Sephiroth shakes his ass at her and she covers her beat red face with her hands~

Jessi-This is too rich, I wish I had a camera! *Blushes more*
Chez-Way ahead of you! ~She tapes whole event with a video camera~

~Song ends and the announcer comes out~

Announcer-…Um, the Great Sephiroth everyone!

~Everyone in there stands up and cheers loudly while screaming for an Encore~

Sephiroth- -Comes out in normal outfit scowling- there will never be an Encore.
Jessi- -still red says quietly- What about a private show? >.>;…=3

~The girls snicker and Sephiroth smiles~

Sephiroth- -Smirk- well, since you have taste and I’m your favorite, I could arrange a private show…
Jessi-Um Seph, Vincent is my favorite character
Seph-… You mean I went up there for nothing?! Arrgh I hate you all!

~He storms off and Jessi laughs~

Yuffie- Ha! Now he feels he did that for nothing and he isn’t your favorite.
Jessi- Heh, heh… ~gives Yuffie high five~ Yes, but he’s still my guy.
Vincent-…and I am?
Jessi-You was my guy in my story Vinney, I still like you but I love the villains.
Chez- She’s always been like that.
Rufus-So she likes me
Reno-and me

~Hojo appears~

Hojo- She should love me then since I’m the best villain ever! HA, HA, HA!
Jessi-O____o; -Vomit-…Uh, Sephiroth! A little help!

~Sephiroth pulls out the Masamune and Hojo runs away screaming “I’ll be back!” ~
Jessi-Thanks Sephy! ^.^
Rufus-~Combing his hair back with his hand~ So, Jessi, wanna go out sometime?
Reno-Hey! You’re not even half as a badass as I am.
Rufus-You’re absolutely right, I am more of a badass than you are.
~Chez smacks Rufus and Yuffie bonks Reno on the head~
Rufus & Reno-Hey! Ow! D=
Jessi-Thanks you two, now, thank you all for making my Valentines Day ten times better.

~She smiles evilly

Jessi-Only one thing can make it twenty times better.
~The group looks at each other nervously, they are scared and confused~

Reno-… Oh God….Please… no. ~He walks up to Yuffie and wraps his arms around her~
Please… don’t kill me…for this!

~Reno gives Yuffie a big kiss~

Yuffie- Ahh! Mmph mph!

~Group laughs as Reno takes off running with Yuffie at his heels~

Yuffie-Reno! Come back here you pathetic excuse for a man!
Reno-It wasn’t my fault! It was Jessi!

~Jessi raises her eyebrows and blinks innocently~

Jessi- Moi? Don’t blame your hormones on me.
Reno-~gawks at her and ducks Yuffie’s Conformer~ Wh… What! Ah!

~The group laughs and waves goodbye~
All: Happy Valentines Day!!!


Yea…that was my first attempt at a ramble n.n; So um…sorry if it wasn’t funny >D –Evil laugh- BWUAHAHAHA~ *Lazy batch*