Recollecting

"I'm pregnant."

Cid remembered vaguely the one time he got accidentally hit with a medicine ball during basic training. It had been sixty pounds of packed sand and leather slamming into his gut that left a bruise for a week. As hard as he remembered that medicine ball being, the blow he felt then was nothing like what he was feeling now. Shera sat down across from him, and for the first time the anger faded from her eyes and turned into a honest sadness as she wrapped her arms around her midrift, as if protecting it.

"What?" Cid could hear the word coming out of his mouth, but he didn't fully realize he had said it until Shera looked up at him, her eyes tearing up again. "are you...are you..s- serious?!"

"Why would I lie to you about this kind of thing, Cid Highwind! I don't KEEP secrets from YOU!" Shera spat the words out with as much venom as she could muster, her eyebrows narrowing dangerously.

Cid sat there across from her, utterly speechless and beyond stunned. He could feel his breath coming in short and hard gasps as his body fought to not go into a state of shock or pass out, either of which was very close at hand. He couldn't feel the fabric of his jeans under his elbows as he leaned his face into his hands, nor could he feel the way they had become cold and shaking all of a sudden. He could only hear the words ringing in his head. Pregnant..Shera was..pregnant. The one thing he had never expected, the one thing he had never, EVER, intended to happen, was just said out loud and with as much anger as he could imagine Shera housing. Neither he nor Shera said anything in the silence that followed, but it was interrupted by the one person neither he nor Shera would imagine.

"Congradulations."

It was a simple word, and the speaker did not utter it nor did he yell. It was soft, and genuine, and held a small trace of sadness. Cid lifted his head to look up at the dark haired gunman that sat beside him, momentarily suprised he'd forgotten Vincent was still in the room. Shera lifted her head up at him, her face scrunched up in anger and confusion. "What?"

"Congradulations." Vincent repeated the word, his voice never wavering as he held Shera's gaze with a steady, unblinking eye. He said nothing else, just continued to keep eye contact with Shera until she turned her head away, then allowed his gaze to rest on the badly shaking body of the older man beside him. Cid sat there, staring at him, his blue eyes wider than normal and filled with emotions Vincent could read all too well. Cid was shocked, surprised, confused and, for the second time in his life, utterly, utterly, terrified. Vincent could see it in his eyes, and he felt the sinking sensation in his stomach worsen. He turned his face back to Shera and forced a smile. "I mean it, really...congradulations. You did tell me you always wanted a baby...though...don't you think you could have told us..a little sooner?" Vincent let out a small laugh that became a small sob, and he swallowed the rest of it and turned his head away. He stood up, his back to both of the other people in the room. His fists were clenched tightly by his side as he began to walk, his footsteps echoing off of the wooden floors beneath him. He had his hand on the doorknob and started to turn it before a voice cut him off.

"Where are you going?"

Vincent turned towards Shera, his face still set in the small, masking smile he had forced into action before he'd stood up. "I thought I knew....now I'm not so sure." With that, he turned the doorknob and stepped outside into the cold autumn air, leaving the pair behind him silent.
* * * *

Nothing was clicking in Cid's mind at that moment, not until he heard the sound of Vincent's voice fading and the sound of the door softly shutting. An alarm rang through his brain and he jumped up, halfway towards the door before his wife's voice cut him off. "WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!" Shera's voice was commanding, more so than he'd ever heard it, and he visibly cringed as she marched up behind him and jerked him around to face her. "Are you going after him, Cid Highwind?! To COMFORT him?!"

"Shera..I..have t-"

"No you don't! I Am YOUR WIFE, CID! I am! Not him! Me! ME!!" Her voice cut through the silence of the empty house, and it was followed by the loud slap as she back handed Cid, leaving a large red mark and a small scar where her wedding ring had grazed across his skin. "Doesn't that mean ANYTHING to you?!"

It took him awhile to find his voice again, and when he answered it was with a voice he'd never heard before. It was shaking and scared, and intimidated. "...Shera...please let me go to him...I have to.." His body continued to shake, and he barely felt the stinging from the wound.

"...Why him, Cid? Just answer me that...WHY him? What could he ever give you that I couldn't?"

"I...don't know..."

"Then forget about him...send him away!"

It was as if the mental microwave he kept in the back of his mind dinged, finally, and he snapped his eyes up to meet hers, his face almost set into a look so serious it could have been angry. "NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!" His real voice came back to him for the first time that night, but it was desperate, not angry, and it was pleading instead of demanding. He grabbed her shoulders and held her as tightly as he could with shaking hands. "Do anything to me, beat the living crap out of me, tell the whole damn town about me, SET FIRE TO MY AIRSHIPS but please don't make him leave!" His whole body was shaking, and his knees threatened to give out underneath him as he tried to stand. They did give out after a moment, and sank to his knees wearily. "...Please, please, I am BEGGING you Shera, don't make him leave!" The cry bubble he was so familiar with these days began to form in his throat, and wether or not Shera was shocked to find him crying when he looked up at her he didn't care one way or another at the moment. "He needs me an you more than you think he does, so goddamit please don't make him leave!"

A sharp breath caught in her throat as she watched Cid stare up at her, desperation in his eyes and in his voice. "...Why shouldn't I?"

He bowed his head and sank his upper body down so that his forehead was touching the ground, the back of his neck showing and his hands grabbing at the hemline of her nightgown. His voice was barely audible as he spoke. "....because I love him..."

Moments of silence, heavy and awkward, hung in the air, disturbed only by the sharp, gasping breaths of Cid's as he tried not to break down again for the second time that night, failing miserably. Shera stood there in base shock and anger as she watched him. Cid Highwind...was BEGGING. Cid Highwind, mr. macho, mr. I-can-take-a-hit-to-the-balls-with-a-sledgehammer-and-keep-on-going Highwind NEVER begged, wether it was for food, sex or otherwise. The high pride he kept was the reason why, and it was a small part of him she respected. Now she was watching him bear himself to her, vunerably submitting himself, crying and shaking at her feet which he was all but kissing. She had never, not in the long years since she'd known him, seen him like this or expected him to be like this, not over anything...or anyone. The fact that he was doing this over another person...another MAN, angered her.

It angered her and terrified her at the same time.

"Cid....get up." He shook his head violently, and she could feel herself slowly quickly losing her patience. "I SAID GET UP, CID HIGHWIND, OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL BEAT THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF YOU RIGHT THE FUCK HERE!" It was the swearing that brought him to, and he stood up quickly, stumbling slightly over his own feet as he stood to attention. He could feel all of the rage she was directing at him, and he kept his eyes averted as he tried to catch his breath. "Look at me Cid." He shook his head again, but when he felt her hand turn his face to look at her he opened his eyes to stare down into hers. Her face was still red and angry, but in her gaze he could see something else that made his stomach turn- pity. She was angry at him, and hurt, and he could tell she felt sorry for him. "SIT....sit down." Shera fought to keep her voice under control as she watched Cid sit, his body still visibly shaking.

"Shera..."

"I feel sorry for you, Cid...I really, really do. Throwing all you've got at someone else when I have done...EVERYTHING for you..but that wasn't enough, was it? I...wasn't enough. My love wasn't enough! And you don't love me...I don't think you ever will the way I want you to, will you?"

"....please don't make me answer that.."

"...You already have." Shera turned towards the door herself, and she grabbed a heavy jacket from the coat rack as she turned the doorknob. "Stay here."

Cid snapped his head up as she opened the door, and he all but jumped up as she shrugged the coat on. "What are you doing?!"

She dindn't answer him at first, merely turned to look at him sharply out of the corner of her eyes. "Getting things set straight." With that, she slammed the door closed, leaving him standing there speechless.
***********************

AN- hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. No joke, Mr. shakespeare. I'm back, welcome to the first chapter of the sequal to "resurfacing", where we find out Shera HAS CAJONES! If you haven't read "resurfacing" and have no idea what's happening, go back and read the first story. "Recollecting" is story two of an arch of three, which is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down the line!
Oh, and if this first chapter DOES seem a little "All my Children" to you, sometimes day time opera shows are pretty close to the mark. O_o ~dreams