The Ides of Saint Valentine

The apartment was dark when the general entered, but he sensed a familiar, energetic presence.
When he pressed himself against his back, Zack had sighed and moved against Sephiroth gently. Sephiroth buried his lips into the sensitive spot on his neck, and growled. “I'm so horny that I'm going to fuck you brainless! Get in the bedroom and and assume the position! Now!”. The tone of Sephiroths voice made Zack waste no time. He loved being treated like little more than a toy.

Sephiroth had had one hell of a morning training the cadets. They were all a bunch of slackers, pissed off because they couldn't sit around all day mooning about or being with their sweethearts. If it were up to him he'd have sent them all back where they came from, but then Shinra wouldn't have their precious “army”. The thought of having Zack all to himself after such an annoying morning helped to lessen this somewhat, but it also left him with a raging hard-on and the need for animalistic release. A thing which Cadet Fair apparently adored.

When he came out of the bathroom stark naked, Sephiroth knew something was very wrong. His bedroom had changed. That terrible thing- that hideous color- pink....showed itself from every nook and cranny. From the candles to that hideous monstrosity that Zack had adorned himself with, it was too much. He tried to open his mouth to say something, but the ribbon on Zack looked like it was beginning to grow and extend long, supple tentacles in order to draw him in...and everything went black.

Up in the director's office, Lazard and Angeal were busy reviewing information on the latest round of potential second recruits when Angeal's cell phone rang. Angeal excused himself and went out into the hallway. It was Zack. His voice was cracking.

“Angeal? Get over to Sephiroths apartment! Now!”. Angeal felt himself almost begin to sweat.

“Pup? What's wrong?”

“It's Seph. Just get here! Please!” the urgency in Zack's voice almost frightened him a little. “Look, Zack, I'm in a meeting right now and-”

“Just hurry. He's out cold and I don't know what to do!” As Angeal made his way towards the complex, his thoughts were on his old friend and what could have happened. It was Sephiroth who asked if he could have some time with Zack on Valentines Day. Angeal had just smirked and agreed, his only request being that he left Zack enough energy for a little fun late that night. Something must be very wrong. Sephiroth never fainted, except for that one time he'd heard about....oh, Gaia.

Angeal's suspicions were confirmed when Zack opened the door to the apartment. Everywhere around him there were glints or hints of pink. From the candles to the rose petals to the uneaten cake for two, it was something out of Sephiroths worst nightmare. Angeal immediately felt a pang of guilt for not having asked Zack about his plans for Sephiroth. The two angels also had an agreement about “don't ask, don't tell” in terms of their exploits. Unless of course, they were training the puppy together.

Zack was trying to keep his emotions under control, but his eyes said that he might break down crying any second. Angeal was going to have to tell him the truth, as awful (and hilarious) as it was. Sephiroth was lying naked on his side, on the petal strewn carpet. Angeal knelt down and quickly determined that he was still breathing. He hadn't eaten anything from the looks of it, which was a good sign. The last time Sephiroth had trouble getting any food down for a couple of weeks afterward.

Angeal stroked Sephiroth gently on the cheek, then shook his shoulder. “Seph? It's Angeal. We're going to take care of you, it's okay.” There was no response. Angeal moved to the sofa, where Zack sat, clad only in a pair of white boxer shorts with hearts on them. He looked Zack in the eyes, trying to seem as stern as possible. All of their careers depended on what he was about to say.

“Cadet Fair, I am issuing you a priority order. We are about to discuss the present situation. You must consider this information top secret and triple classified. If word of this gets out and I find you are responsible you can consider yourself demoted permanently to wutai ensign desk duty or far worse, understood?”

“Understood.” Zack whispered, looking for all the world like he had almost killed one of the people he loved. Another part of Angeal fought to retain demeanor. When those blue eyes filled with tears, all he wanted to do was comfort.

“I'm sorry, Pup, It's not your fault. But I have to ask. What exactly was going on before Sephiroth ...passed out?” Zack swallowed hard and drew a deep breath as he paused for a moment to think.

“He'd just come home. I suppose that you can guess that my idea was to surprise him. He seemed okay at first, then excused himself to use the bathroom. I thought he was going to freshen up because he spent all morning dealing with training the cadets. So I lit the candles and went into the bedroom and got myself ready, you know. And then I heard Seph come out of the bathroom, and that's when he made what sounded like a strangling noise and then he fell.”


“Pup, take your shorts down. I want to see something.” Zack felt himself blush. He knew that his lips were forever sealed. Once Angeal saw the pink ribbon his humiliation was assured. “I thought so.” Angeal said, trying valiantly to suppress a smirk with a face-palm. “Did you have the lights on when Sephiroth entered?”

“No,” Zack replied. “ I wired them so they wouldn't turn on. Sephiroth didn't seem to mind. He practically screamed at me to get in bed.” Angeal sighed. Whether it was from amusement or something else, Zack wasn't sure, but he looked him in the eyes again.

“Zack, have you ever heard about the President and his high teas? Some time ago, Sephiroth finally got an invitation to one. They aren't really invitations so much as a command. He and Hojo and a bunch of other Shinra reps all went out for tea at The Strawberry Bake Shoppe.” This time Zack looked like he was about to suppress a smirk.

“ What happened?”

“I'm getting to that. Sephiroth really didn't want to go. He told me he had bad feelings about the whole thing. I did my best to talk him out of it. The President may have no clue as to what is really going on, but offend him and you're history. We both know that Sephiroth has never been the most relaxed person in informal social situations. Not even since we were boys. Even I had no idea until after the fact. Sephiroth has always been private about his innermost thoughts.”

“No idea about what?” Zack asked curiously. Angeal got up from the sofa and spent a couple of minutes reassuring himself that the room was not bugged. Then he sat down again. “Sephiroth has an absolute phobia of the color pink. And for some reason, pink ribbons cause what that rat Hojo would call “interesting data” to occur. In this case it caused him to faint. Face down,into the strawberry cream cake in front of the President. Sephiroth swore it took him three days to get the vile strawberry smell out of his hair. And when he found out I knew he cursed every responsible official in Shinra, and Hojo in particular. That was after he could speak again without rasping. Apparently he is also rather allergic to strawberries in their natural state, and broke out in hives as well. And I repeat, this information is classified and considered top secret.”

“Affirmative, Commander Hewley.” Zack said. He knew better than to mess with protocol.

“This incident won't show on your permanent record, cadet. But there will be punishment, which Sephiroth will decide. Now take your shorts and that ribbon off and get rid of all the pink stuff while I get Sephiroth into bed. And no thinking erotic thoughts!”.

As he hefted the silver-haired angel off the floor and carried Sephiroth to the bedroom, Angeal hoped that no serious damage had been done. While this incident provided the perfect excuse to discipline the puppy, it also had affected Zacks psyche. It looked like another night of practicing techniques and interrogation was in his immediate future. Provided that Sephiroth didn't kill Angeal before he could explain that Zack had had no clue at all.


The End