Snow Drift | By : Resting-Madness Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Irvine/Squall Views: 961 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I don't own anything involving final fantasy 8, nor do I make money from this fanfiction. The only thing that's mine is the take on a plot that's been done by just about everyone. |
'My limbs are killing me.' Thought Irvine. 'Move.. Come on, dammit, move!'
Such a simple request mentally, but physically, it felt nearly impossible. He's cold. He noticed this as his senses became more alert. It's icy.
'Am I frozen? Is that why I can't move?' He tried again.
Yes! His finger moved! More. He has to move entirely, not just one or two digits. His foot twitched. It moved more like a spasm, but it had moved. His eyeballs shifted about beneath his closed lids. They crept open, but not wide enough to be effective. He can see something from the small slit acquired. Bright light. Brighter than snow. It was more like snow glowing in the sun. So very bright.
'What is this? A dream?' He wondered. 'No. It can't be a dream... I.. I'm dead... The mission... I drowned.. right?'
So then he's dead. But.. something doesn't add up to the fallen sniper...
'If I'm dead why did I feel my movement just now?' He felt a panic stir in his chest. 'No eyes, stay open!' He pleaded with the approaching return to darkness just by the missing space created by his cracked eyelids.
The mood is grim for the orphanage gang, and Rinoa.
"Dammit!" Squall punched the wall hard enough to crack it along with sensitive bones in his hand. "I can't believe this happened!" He bit out angrily. "I was too damned hasty. I wanted Irvine back too much, and now look at him."
Selphie stood up from her seat to place a hand on her saddened friend's back; giving it a gentle caress.
"It's my fault, Squall, don't beat yourself up." Says the very glum Zell. "I wanted him to go back to the accident spot. I'm the one who was too hasty."
"You should have seen us, though... I was snapping at him, telling him that we wouldn't give him the slightest chance to get to know us - that our only concern was for Irvine."
"What would you say a stupid thing like that for?" Quistis balked. "Imari is the only way to get Irvine back, and you're not making it easy for him to submit saying things like that." She went on. "Or is it that others problems aren't a matter of consideration over your own wants?"
"I know that I screwed up!" He snaps, but the former instructor, used to his personality due to being a close friend, was un-phased by his bowing a fuse. He does it from time to time despite his stoic facade. "But... when he recovers... I'll make it up to him; I won't pressure him to recover Irvine's memories."
Quistis made a thoughtful sound. "Maybe he should stay at a hotel for a while?"
Squall shook his head. "He can't afford to."
"Garden could pay for it." Zell suggest.
Squall shoots it down with nothing more than. "He's going to stay with me, and things will be fine! I swear it."
Dr. Kadowaki exits the recovery room after having been in there for eight hours; her hands raised to keep the small group - minus Seifer, who remained stationed against the wall - from pummeling her. "He's stable now. But I want to know what happened?"
They all glance at each other wondering whom should speak, Zell decidedly went first.
"Dr. K., we wanted Irvine to get his memory back, but our method only ended up making it worse, because now he's unconscious. He probably won't even remember what he saw, or..." He turned his head when a hand touched his shoulder. It's Seifer; shaking his head telling him to just stop talking.
Quistis could have thanked the man, taking Zell's place in the explanation. "Dr. Kadowaki as you can see Irvine is alive. He ended up at Winter Island with no memory of what happened to him or how he got there. Over the years he's gotten a name, Imari Karver, and a life together in Winhill; we found him, and asked him to come here. We wanted for Irvine to remember us, and himself, but when we brought him to the place where he'd disappeared, he flipped out and ended up here."
"Is he all right?" Squall asks. "What happened to him?"
"I'm amazed at the resilience of you kids; dead one minute, amnesia the next." Expelling a sigh she reports. "Imari," Her use of the name was heavily loose. "has never been exposed to magic - from what I can guess. Based on what you've told me; Irvine still had his magic junctioned but the use of it never came to be because Imari doesn't know the command to cast them. Remembering what happened to him must have triggered that much in his mind and the spells exploded out of him. We're lucky that Imari only recalled Scan and not the Pain the young man had junctioned, or he'd be in worse condition than a little fainting spell from the mental strain."
"So then he will wake up? He's not in a coma?" Asked Selphie hands clasped in hope that Hyne will keep her friend safe.
"Yes. He'll be fine. It's not like the nasty condition that happened to Rinoa a few years back."
The girl rubbed her arm uncomfortably. She can't recall what happened but her body ached all over when it was done.
"He should be able to return home with you in a day or so." She informed looking to Squall, knowing of his and Irvine's relationship.
The relieved boyfriend nodded.
"I dispelled the Silence cast on him and removed the other junctioned magic spells to protect him when he wakes up; casting Silence was good, quick thinking on your part, Zell."
The blond grinned then wiped it off to remain professional in the eye of a near tragedy.
"For now, tell him to take it easy with remembering things."
The group nods.
"I have other patients to attend to, so I'll leave you all to sit with him if you like. Remember what I said, though." She points an accusing finger Squall's way before disappearing.
Turning to them, the gunblader cocks his head in the direction of the room. "I'm going in. Zell, will you go home and be with Kait? He'll probably have to spend the night, and I don't want him giving your mother any trouble."
"Got it." He pats his friend on the shoulder to comfort him before walking off.
"We should go, too." Rinoa touched Squall's shoulder as well.
He received a raised hand from Selphie and Quistis as a goodbye before he was left alone with Seifer.
"Still gonna force his memories?" Inquired the ex-knight.
"No. I meant what I'd said; I'll be nice to Imari while gradually introducing things about Irvine to him."
Seifer shrugged his shoulders. "Alright. Good luck with that."
Squall cocked a brow. "I thought you said luck was for suckers."
"Exactly." He smiled fiendishly before walking away.
Squall watched his departure before going into the patient's room. Taking a seat on the stool beside Imari's bed, he rests his hand down on the sleeping man's chest; watching as it rises and falls from Imari's breathing.
'You'll see. I'll be more considerate, and take it easy on you.' He tried sending good vibes Irvine's way. It hadn't worked when his father suggested it during the war. He still ended up in a nightmare world, dropped to his knees and passed out cold. He had to rely on someone else to bring him out of it. All of his friends. They pulled him from a mental grave. So, he'll do the same for Irvine now, if it's possible. He can surely feel a good outcome for his beloved to feed on.
Irvine is still. His limited mobility seems to have escaped him once again. However, he can still think.
'Cold as ice. Stiff as a board... I am dead.' He gasped after a sudden sound startled him. 'Who's there? What was that?'
His strength fought again with his mobility. His eyelids struggled, but gradually like rusty shutters activated after a long time, his lids peel apart. His vision was met with a bright blinding glow of light. It was as if he was blindedbnot by lack of vision but an extreme close-up of a strobe light. Casting his vision down he notes that he can't even see his body. This light is all consuming.
'Get up, Irvine! Move!' He shouted at himself.
And to his joy, he does move. However...
"AaaaaAAaaahhhh!"
His body felt like it was searing from the inside out. It wasn't like fire, this was acid. Burning not from heat but from toxicity.
His screams of pain were joined by another's. It sounded somewhat like his voice, but a bit different. Just a bit. He looked, regardless his pain, he looked for the mystery screamer. Just as his gaze shifted upward, he began to fall. He fell away from what he saw. Himself. He locked eyes with himself for just the briefest moment. Now he's freefalling!
'Don't do it!' He screamed in his mind, while his voice screamed in pain. 'Don't do it!'
"Don't do what?" Spoke the voice like his own.
"Don't let me die!"
"I'm sorry." Squall says softly. He kissed Irvine's fingertips.
"That's okay." Imari smiled; eyes still closed, he begins to giggle.
Squall's serene face soured. "I thought you were sleeping, I thought that you were hurt?" He removed his consoling hand.
"I am hurt, but, I was faking sleep. I hate doctors, you see." He lied. He'd been out cold up until hearing Squall's voice.
"I thought that your best friend in Shumi was a doctor."
Imari shook his head. "He was more of a healer than a doctor." Grunting as he moved to sit up; he thanks Squall for his help to do so. "Doctors always smell weird, and poke and prod you with weird things. He just sort... I don't know, healed me." He smiled at the happy memory.
"Imari, I really am sorry for forcing you to remember things. I didn't think it would be painful."
"I know. You don't have to apologize." He sighed. "I wouldn't have flipped out so badly, but... What the hell was that?"
"What was what?"
"It's like... having a personal tattoo of a blue blanket needled to your eyes, and yet, everyone and everything else were coming in, but you had green lines all over you. And all this information was buzzing around in my head."
"Scan. Irvine had some junctioned to him when he went on the mission. Dr. Kadowaki said that his magicks were bursting out of you because you unintentionally activated the spell."
"Geez. You military people must be strong to take that kind of mental abuse."
Squall smirks. "It does hurt the first time you learn how to do it, but in time," he holds out his hand forming a clump of ice in the center of his palm. "It feels almost natural, like we were meant to have it."
Imari looked spooked, then amazed. "Wow."
"It's almost like breathing."
"That's amazing."
"Some cadets can't handle it, so they never learn. But they always become specialists in weaponry, so they're equally as useful as anyone else."
"Hmhm. I can't imagine being part of something like that. I've been brought up to disagree with violence, and I stick by it. Monsters are a necessary vanquish, but people..." He shrugged with a shake of his head.
Squall said nothing.
"How long was I out for?"
"Too many hours; Selphie cried."
Imari frowned then smirked. "Tell her I'm fine."
"She knows, but I'll tell her." Standing, he says absently. "We're in Balamb Garden now... Do you wanna look around? I can give you a tour?"
Holding a hand to his head. "You would ask a bedridden man to move about after he just woke up?"
"You said you were faking it." Squall popped the patient on the shoulder.
Imari chuckled throwing the covers over. "I forgot," he winks. "Let's move out then. But, is this gonna be okay with doctor...?"
"Kadowaki. I don't see why not, you can move can't you?"
"Yeah." He felt a slight hesitancy about answering with such confidence. He felt a weird ache. Not sure why. It hurt on the inside, but then it dwindled into nothing. He felt nothing as far as physical pain. But there was an underlying emotional sting that he can't place as to why. Best not to explore it.
"Good enough reason to walk around then."
...
"This is the training center. There are monsters inside; they were caught weekly."
"How do they keep them from escaping into the school?"
"Barriers."
"Oh." He then asked. "Were?"
"Yeah. We have simulations now. It's cost effective, and less hazardous."
"I can imagine. What if the monsters escaped and roamed around after hours."
Squall chose not to tell him that they installed the simulators just because of that fear. After what had happened during the attack on the school. Continuing on with his tour, he stated. "Everything is colored, makes it easier, I guess."
Imari nods.
Squall couldn't believe how weird this was; it was like that time the school had been overrun by monsters and everyone was turning this way and that, all flipped out about who really knew what. Irvine had come with him then, he needed him... Although, back then and still to this day, he wasn't even sure of why.
"Up here is the library," he points to the entrance. "They never have what you're really looking for, but they're willing to order it for you." He gave a shrug.
The cadets looked spooked to say the least, as they watched a ghost walk down the hall with Squall. Let them stare, though, so long as no one comes over and says anything he could care less. Last thing Imari wants is a crowd of people he doesn't know swallowing up his personal space.
'Kind of like what we planned on doing.' He scolds himself. "This is the cafeteria. The speciality of the school is hot dogs, they have all kinds of toppings to put on them. But everything else is good as well."
"Galbadia's specialty is chili." Imari says casually.
Squall didn't comment on it, but his insides churned with enthusiasm that having a tour of the school might do the trick. A nice gentle ease into his old self might be just what he needed.
Imari seemed to read Squall's thoughts because he shook his head sullenly. "Its just like what I've told you about; I'll have these moments where I will say something or do something that isn't like me, but there's nothing behind it. ...It's like I'm stuck in a snow drift, wind will blow flurries around me and I'll watch them move, but I can't feel the cold."
'There is something to it, Imari, and that's Irvine's existence.' Squall's gaze lowered to the floor. "I know what that's like. Back when we were all fighting a sorceress named Ultimecia; I got stuck in time a compression. The sky was gray and the ground was bare; there wasn't anyone around but me ...I gave up all thoughts of getting out of there. I was ready to accept an oblivion of endless wandering.. but Rinoa helped me, all my friends helped me... She had gone in too, and she brought me back."
Imari seemed to be thinking that over.
"Forget it. Let's just keep moving. Over here is the parking lot." He points. "You can use it, but you have to pay. We also have rentals from the school. The Quad is over there - avoid it at all cost."
The crafter snickers. "Why? Too much gossiping?"
"Trust me, avoid it."
"Okay." He laughs quietly trying to see beyond the entrance as they pass it.
"The dorms are this way. Irvine and I shared a room, but..." He trailed off.
"You quit to raise Kait?"
"I quit to raise Kait, and... I couldn't take being here, in that room alone. Before it was not a big deal to me, I preferred it. But once Irvine started sleeping with me.. everything changed."
Puffing up his cheeks he deflated them like a balloon being let go. "I can tell this is upsetting you, how 'bout we get something to eat. I'm starving."
"Yeah."
"I've never had a hot dog before, what should I put on it?"
"Maybe Zell's the one to eat with." Comments the ex-commander as they head for the cafeteria.
From the front to the back, anyone entering the cafeteria could make out exact eye colors, that's how enlarged each cadets eyes were upon the sight before them. Same height, same face. His hair was flat, but people style their hair any way they like throughout their lives. It can't be real. Perhaps this was some new simulation they're testing out, like in the training room. Although, none had an explanation as to why they'd do it. Squall must have gone next level with grief, and Garden was trying to quell a disaster. Yes. That must be it, because Irvine Kinneas is very much deceased.
Imari was not liking all the staring going on while he and Squall crossed the cafeteria to assemble dinner. Nor the murmurs that occurred when started eating. He was unaware of their thoughts that his eating disposed of their hologram theory. He feels like a celebrity, only he hasn't done anything. It's kind of icky.
As if Squall were reading his mind, he comments. "Don't look so surprised, you are a ghost, after all."
"Yeah, but, the open stares are kind of weird." Looking at the main peepers he waves a hand to them. "Come over, if you're gonna look."
Embarrassed the small group walked over to their table taking posts around it, some braved sitting right at the table.
"We don't mean to stare, it's just that... you look exactly like Irvine Kinneas." One girl explained.
"He is Irvine Kinneas. Irvine wasn't dead, he went missing, but he has amnesia now. And he doesn't want to be bothered." Sniped Squall. "Spread the word, so no one else gawks at him. Feel free to go about your own business, as well" He didn't so much as lose a beat during his bite.
Frightened by the calm of the statement, they all stand ready to flee.
Imari gaped at the brooding young man. How can he be so cruel? Trying to salvage the cadets pride, he holds out a hand while standing from his seat. "Imari Karver, nice to meet you."
"Hello." A guy says right away shaking his hand.
The others relaxed doing the same with introductions and being relaxed, much to Squall's chagrin. Dinner was nice, the cadets were friendly and talkative; they found his archery skills fascinating and some even asked to be taught by him. He found that hilarious, saying if he was still around later on then he would be glad to teach them.
Squall found it all very irritating and yet, his friendly nature is so much like Irvine he had to set aside the fact that this man is someone else; however, he could for a moment pretend that his lover is the one carrying on conversation, holding everyone's interest as he often does or tries to.
Imari glanced to Squall seeing a very distant look on his face. With a soft smile he reached across the table tenderly holding his boyfriend's chin between his fingers. "Get out of your head darlin', it's not good for you."
Squall couldn't help but get heated cheeks from being called by the affectionate name, in that voice Irvine kept only for him. It's working, Irvine is pushing through whatever is holding him still inside of his body. Nodding, he stands from the table.
"Let's head back to my house, it's getting late."
"Okay." He stands as well saying goodbye to the group of cadets before following after Squall to the trash bin and tray drop off.
Squall thought about going over to the Dincht's to get Kait, but the idea of being alone with Imari was sensationally tempting, especially if glimmers of Irvine are coming out.
'Dammit, stop thinking like this. I have to control my physical urges.'
"I like the school, it's nice... I mean, peaceful for a military school. I thought they'd have you doing drills or something."
"We do, but, Garden's aren't like normal schools. They also teach basic education; we're not warheads."
Imari nods.
Squall didn't feel up for walking home, he just wanted to get into his bed - well, his son's bed, since Imari is staying in his - and clock-out for the day. Taking a car from the school, they're back to Squall's apartment in ten minutes rather than the half hour to forty minutes it would have taken them if they'd walked.
"Is it alright if I take a shower?" The woodworker asked.
"Go ahead. I'm gonna call Dr. Kadowaki and tell her where you are, in case she's wondering." He dialed the woman's office phone.
"Well, well, you finally call. Where's Mr. Karver?"
"At my house. He says he feels fine, so I figured we'd eat and come home."
"Mhm. I should have known you'd abduct him; your friends don't stand a chance when it comes to you, do they Mr. Leonhart?"
Squall can hear the smile in her voice. She knows him well enough by now, and to be honest, no, he doesn't like his friends cooped up in a hospital for too long. But those were always under special conditions. Isn't action better than sitting around? "I'm taking good care of him, and I won't over-exert him in any way."
"See that you don't. But if he gets a headache tell him no aspirins."
"Right."
"Just lay him down in a dark room and tell him to relax."
"I got it."
"Bye."
He ended the call. Going into his room, Squall changed into his pajamas heading then into the living room he called the Dincht home.
"Hey Squall, how's Imari - did he wake up?" Zell dug for details for disclosure right away.
"He was never asleep. He said he hates hospitals, so I sprung him out. How's Kait?"
"Being good as usual. He's asleep now, unless you wanna wake him up to bring him home."
"No, let him sleep. I'll be by after breakfast."
"Woo hoo, all alone with your burning lover - what'cha gonna do with him?"
Blushing Squall grumbled. "Nothing. He's not Irvine - and stop mimicking Selphie, its creepy."
Zell only laughed.
"I'll be by tomorrow. Goodnight."
"Night."
Turning around, he's forced to swallow hard when his boyfriend's body walked out of the hall into the living, again, shirtless. "You don't have a top for that?" He waved him over to the couch when he sees the offered brush.
"I do, but I get really hot when I sleep, and that it keeps me up. It's either shirtless or pantless." He sits down beside Squall with his back to him.
"If it bothers you when you're sleeping, then we have to make another rule that all clothes must be on until you're in the bed. Otherwise, I'll break your rule and end up sending you packing, I can't risk that." He brushed through his boyfriend's hair, lingering gently one inch at a time.
"Oooh, am I too tempting." He laughs, making his chest flex impressively. Irvine never could figure out how to do that, he and Zell were practically making spectacles of themselves on the beach one summer while the martial artist tried to teach him.
Squall snickered giving him a shove. "Don't tempt me. I will screw you into this couch."
Imari chuckled but it ended as he popped up from the seat. "Shit, I forgot about Pal. He hasn't eaten anything all day."
Squall watched him head into the kitchenette.
"Do you have any ground beef or something?"
Raising his voice to reach the kitchen. "We should. Check the lower drawer."
"Here we go. Thanks." He heads into the borrowed bedroom.
"No problem." Mumbles the itchy male. Looking down at his lap he heaves a heavy sigh. "Fuck."
...
It was a bold move on his part. Bold. Stupid. Reckless, and completely against his word. But, he couldn't help it. If Imari winds up locking the door from now on, so be it, but he's doing it. He's in the room. He's at the bedside. He need only infiltrate.
Squall was not sneaking into bed with a stranger. He's climbing into bed with his boyfriend, who is thankfully out cold. And, bigger picture, it's his bed, despite who's in it! He can just say he went to the bathroom and forgot. No big deal. He's got his lie settled, and so he climbed in.
He instantly melted into the warmth radiating off of Irvine. It was titillating. His body fell comfortable in mere seconds, such was the calming effect of his inner happiness. His pain has come to rest. If only all of him would rest. He mentally coached his gender to lie still and behave for him. Nothing doing. It wanted to play now that it's best friend was back in the picture. So ready for a swordfight.
'I need to go.' Squall concurred. He doesn't need another strike. Uh-oh.
Irvine rolled over onto his stomach, just barely now he's touching Squall erection poking forward against the fabric of his nightpants. Why do they make material so thin? Worst of all, he can hear Irvine's soft breaths now. The sound drowned the silence as if on speaker, when really it's rather quiet. But to loving ears... And the faintest breath touched his face.
Squall's hand dipped beneath the waistband of his pants. Fuck it all.
His rough fingertips played gingerly upon the the slit to extract the production of ache there. He used it to cover himself. And he stroked firmly, lavishly, up and down; his breathing deepened as pleasure heightened through his body. He kept his moans off, nothing but breaths. Unheard by someone asleep. He bit his bottom lip as a wave threatened to move him in a jerk to arch his back, but instead he curled his toes in. Innocent. Undetectable in movement. Breathe in, breathe out.
As if mirrored, the slumbering figure did the same, a deeper breath in then out. Squall still his hands wondering if Imari was going to wake up for some reason. But he remained asleep. Damning, though, because his hand rose unconsciously to rest on the pillow. The unexpected swish upwards from the apendage nearly bumped into Squall twice. Could have the tip of his sex, still possibly his forehead that's dangerously close to his boyfriend's pinky finger. Assured that no more movement was coming, he closed his eyes and imagined.
Irvine's breathing is participating with him. Together they're driving each other over the edge. He's panting, Irvine is breathing evenly, except...
Perhaps he imagined it. He watched, still pleasuring himself, he watched quietly as Irvine raised his hips up just a bit. Or did he? The even breathing of sleep changed, he sounded alert. Lightly alert, as he touched himself with his other hand. His eyes are still closed, but his brows are a bit furrowed. Squall's exhale seemed to induce more breathing. A small hum. More lazy, faint riding into his hand. Squall matched him.
The room was congested with sounds of rustling fabric and breathing. Nothing too exuberant. Just a tell that someone was alive in the room. When pleasure tried to rip from Squall he delayed it, just a bit longer. Please, just a little more. His scrunched closed eyes opened, meeting with Imari's gaze. He looked guilty. Worried. But Imari simply ghosted a smile, believing, it's possible, that he's simply dreaming. His movement quickened, his breaths picked up, eyes closing again upon hearing Squall's breaths join his own. He can feel the light touches of air from the panting. Imari looked enraptured by his own breaths of touch.
Soon. So much closer now. Just a bit more... Now!
The release was ruin to the senses, shaking them both in a silent convulsion of asault by the heavens. Imari, possibly never fully awake, drifted back to sleep. Squall, after calming his breathing, slipped out of the bed and exited the room.
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