The Adventures of Squally In Laguna Land

BY : VelvetNightmares
Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male
Dragon prints: 624
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy Eight don't belong to me. The characters aren't mine. I'm just writing about them.


There was just something about Laguna talking on the phone that sent chills down his spine; and not the good kind of chills either. Visions of bubble gum chewing valley girls lying on their stomachs while kicking their legs back and forth filled his mind. Images of teenage girls twirling their hair while babbling about some cute boy in class tormented him.

Mind you, Laguna probably would not be chattering about cute boys. Or maybe he would. When it came to his father, Squall had no idea what went on in the man’s mind. If one could call Laguna a man, half the time he was acting like a hyperactive child.

So when Quistis walked through the door of his office with said father, along with Father’s friends, he felt the sudden urge to commit suicide. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy seeing his father, it was just, Laguna could be a bit too eccentric at times.

“Squall! I missed you so much!”

Squall was not sure how Laguna managed to get to the other side of the desk so quickly. Maybe the man had dove over it? Laguna was nothing more than a Hawaiian shirt wearing blur, which began hugging him as tightly as he could.

“Yes. I missed you too,” Squall said in his usual monotone voice. Kiros gave him an apologetic shrug. Ward only looked the other way. Both them were completely useless when it came to getting Laguna under control.

Laguna was still hugging him, and it seemed like he was trying to kiss him too. “Fa--” Squall’s voice died before he could say the whole word. He was still not used to using the F word. “Laguna will you-- Get off!”

Squall’s use of the English language failed him once again as he relied on his body to express his feelings. Was it really that surprising that he chose to shove his father away? With all the other things he did such as backhanding (or at least trying to) Rinoa, having sudden outburst, or going into hour-long monologues, this was not such an unusual sight to see.

Of course as always, Laguna took this with a heart of gold, picking himself up off the ground. He had such a strong son! He was so proud. The little sparkles and hearts floating around him expressed the true extent of his happiness.

“Sorry Squall. It’s just been so long since I’ve seen you. You never call. You never write. It’s like you don’t want--”

“You just saw me two days ago!!” Squall growled, sitting back down in his seat.

/Why is he always showing up like this? Doesn’t he have his own country to run? Just who the hell runs Esthar when all three of them are out like this? Why, why didn’t Rinoa iron my shirt this morning? Is she beginning to hate me? Everyone hates me. I can’t... I can’t let this go on this way.... Wait, why am I having conversations with myself? I don’t know. Wait, did I just answer myself? I--/

“But that was over the phone. There’s a huge difference” Laguna whined. It was strange to see a forty-something-year-old man whine, but here Laguna was whining away like a little kid.

Squall was pissed that his inner monologue had been interrupted. It had been a good monologue too. It had the markings of a legendary monologue. Now thanks to Laguna he had forgotten just what it was he had been thinking about.

“Laguna please” Squall said, rubbing the scar on his forehead. “I have a lot of work to do. Can’t we have this meeting some other time?”

Laguna pouted, wringing his hands together as tears gathered in his eyes. “Do I have to leave?” he asked.

Squall was just getting ready to answer that question with a loudly proclaimed “Yes”, when the door to his office came flying open.

“Get the hell out of my way you ass!”

“Well excuse me for not being puny, chicken-wuss!”

Two blondes pushed and shoved through the door, only to end up tumbling onto the floor. They wrestled for the top, or at least it seemed that way. Squall had never seen two men in such compromising positions. He was sure Rinoa would have enjoyed the sight. No wait, anything that was not focused on her did not please her.

Ward and Kiros managed to step out of the way of the rolling pile of blondes. Laguna was not that lucky. He was swept into the piles, becoming entangled in the mess of short and long limbs.

“Enough! Get off the floor. You’re behaving like children” Quistis, the only one with a functioning brain, ordered from where she stood in the corner.

The boys behaved, shooting piercing glares at each other, as they climbed to their feet. Even Laguna slowly climbed to his feet, a sheepish look on his face as he relied on the support of the taller blonde.

“Squall, this bastard compromised the mission!” Zell said, and like a dog to his master, he came and stood as close to Squall as was humanly possible.

“Saving your scrawny ass is what compromised the mission in the first place, Chickenwuss!” Seifer shot back.

The taller teen would have probably said more, but then he realized just who it was that leaning against him. If he had been born with an affliction that only arouse during nervousness, it would have been afflicting him now. His face became red as he realized that this was the Sorceress’s knight. The /original/ Sorceress’s knight.

Those who knew Seifer, also knew the teen’s obsession with the Sorceress’s Knight movie. Squall knew. Quistis knew. Both remembered the blonde begging Matron to watch it over and over again. Squall only watched the movie because Seifer watched it. Now he wanted nothing to do with the movie. His father starred in that movie.

It was then that Squall was struck with a very devilish plan.

“Seifer, would you do me a favor?” Squall asked, smiling sweetly. Well, as sweetly as a taciturn emo kid could manage to do.

Seifer looked suspicious. Anyone with half a brain would be. A smiling Squall was a Squall who had either taken too many blows to the head, or he was thinking of something devious.

“Why would I do you a favor? You’re still on the list,” Seifer reminded him.

“The list? I thought I was taken off the after, well you know, shocking the living shit out of me.”

“I didn’t do that. The guard did.”

“Well you ordered it!”

“There’s a difference Leonhart” Seifer shot back.

Squall slammed his fist down on the desk, wincing afterwards. That hurt worse than he thought it would.

“Whatever” Squall muttered, rolling his eyes. “My Fa-- Laguna is going to be staying here for a while and I was wondering if you’d take him out.”

Seifer’s eyes narrowed. Despite the super-happy-fun-time dance that was going on in his inner mind, he still had to portray his badass persona.

“You...So you want me to take your dad out on a date?”

“Don’t think of it as a date. Think of it as a life changing experience. Hyne knows you need it” Squall said.

Seifer’s eyes narrowed further, even as he snaked an arm around an unsuspecting Laguna’s waist. “I had better get a bonus for this.”

Squall just rolled his eyes, again. “I’m sure you’ll get a huge bonus later on tonight,” he muttered, getting several weird glances from those around him, excluding Laguna, who was beginning to develop a leg cramp.

Seifer was not sure how much longer he would keep up his badass persona. Was it just his imagination or was Laguna leaning into him? His hand was resting on Laguna’s hip and he swore the man shifted so that it grazed his ass. Dear god, what was this man doing to him?

“S-Sure” Seifer stammered out, pulling himself away so abruptly that Laguna nearly fell.

Grabbing the president’s arm, Seifer was out of that office faster than you could yell “Hyne’s ass!” Not that anyone would want to yell that out.

Squall sat back in his chair, a sinister smile on his face. Yes, the perfect way to get Laguna off his back would be to give him a new obsession. If he had a cat he would have been stroking it like a villain from a Bond movie.

“Um, Squall? Are you sure it’s okay to let Laguna go off alone with him?” Zell asked.

“Get back to work. I’m not paying you to talk” Squall said, pushing Zell’s head back down.

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