Lost Angels

BY : kirastastefultragedy
Category: Final Fantasy VII > Yaoi - Male/Male
Dragon prints: 441
Disclaimer: Do not own Final fantasy, or Gackt. also do not make money from fanfiction

Summary: 5 years… Loved ones lost... Forlorn... Cloud finds himself in a chance encounter, being saved by someone he least expected. Will it lead to more, or will he self destruct along the way. Is Reno’s newfound feelings enough to keep him living?

Disclaimer: I do not own final fantasy or its characters. I also do not own Gackt, or his song “Lost Angels” or the lyrics for it. And do not make money off of this fanfiction.

Warnings: Swearing, fighting, sadness, angst, hints at Yaoi.

Notes: This Fic is based on the Song “Lost Angels” by Gackt. If anyone wants the link to the lyrics, and translation… or the song itself.. just pm me or mention it in your review. The song … a portion of its lyrics will be the basis for each chapter. This fic will be 7 chapters long. Unless I decide to do an epilogue, but… lets cross that bridge when we get there.


Chapter 1:

‘Sleep, held in these arms’

The evenings crowd was beginning to pick up. But the patrons were not all minding their own business like they normally would at a bar. This was why he’d gone here, somewhere he normally didn’t. Not Tifa’s bar, or any other that he’d frequented in the past. He just wanted to be left alone… He wanted to forget who he was… maybe even completely this time.

Cloud looked up at the dark wall that held various pictures of famous actors and ball players and SOLDIERS anybody that would draw attention to the quaint bar on the far side of Edge. It was near the outside of the town so that passerby’s and tourists would be sure to see it. But the regulars and the people who had lived in edge or Midgar for any amount of time weren’t so much as likely to be there.

No matter, everywhere he went they’d be there. “Idiot hero worshipers” Cloud muttered under his breath. Never giving him a moment’s peace. They all sit there gawking at me like I’m a piece of art…”On the GAIADAMNED WALLS!!!” He yelled as two young men pointed at him from the bar that his booth sat cornerwise of.

Cloud had been there drinking for at least two hours by then. Straight… Cloud hunched over the booth and grabbed the glass of amber colored liquid. He couldn’t remember what alcohol he’d been ordering, but obviously he’d ordered it or it wouldn’t be here. He upturned the glass and swallowed its contents in one gulp. He’d long ago stopped feeling the burn. He didn’t notice that someone had walked up to his booth until they spoke.

“Yo dude, what bug crawled up your ass and made its nest. My brother was only showin you some respect!” The man illustrated his irritation with a slight shove of two fingers into Clouds shoulder nudging the blond slightly in his seat.

Cloud ignored the man, but inside he seethed. He motioned to the bar tender that was watching what was happening from the inside edge of the bar near the end that he sat corner ways from. He wanted another drink… that’s all, couldn’t he just. “Drink in peace” He muttered as he held the empty glass up for the bartender to get the hint.

Suddenly the glass was knocked to the table by the man that still stood there. “Listen man… you know its really rude to ignore someone. I just want you to acknowledge my little brother, it’s his first time here and he was stoked to see you. It’s the least you could do, Hero.” The man leaned down next to Clouds face.

Cloud clenched his jaw. “I hate it when people like you do this. I FUCKIN HATE IT!!!... I’m NOT… A… HERO!!!” Cloud stood and yanked the man up by his shirt as he strode towards the bar. Then flung the man on the bar, smashing glasses and a couple of bottles as he landed. People scrambled, and obviously the guy who was the mans younger brother ran up and grabbed onto Clouds arm

“he didn’t mean nothing man… please… he just wanted to show me a good time… sorry…” the kid looked at Clouds brightly lit eyes, and pleaded.

Cloud narrowed his eyes. “You sicken me… all of you. I’m no HERO… I’m nothing! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!” He threw a bottle at the kid barely missing him as the kid scrambled away. But Cloud turned back to the man on the counter and looked him dead in the eye. “You should learn to stay the FUCK OUT OF PEOPLES BUSINESS!!!” He went to hit the guy straight in the face with a closed fist when suddenly his arm was pushed out of the way and he met face to face with bright blue eyes.

Cloud stopped dead in his tracks… “Zack!?” he grabbed the shoulders of the person.


Reno walked down the surprisingly busy streets. He’d come this far out of the center of town in hopes it would be quieter, he’d had one HELL of a day. Actually Hell was an understatement. But sadly it was only a tad bit quieter in this area than it had been elsewhere in the city. Everywhere was busy today what with the opening of the new Shinra building. It wasn’t massive like its predecessor. But it certainly made things official. Shinra had changed, and would stick to its word this time.

Reno strode along with his hands in his pockets; the jacket of his suit was wide open. He sauntered along meaning business, only this time, personal business. He had one thing on his mind tonight. Get tanked, and find a piece of ass. Yeah, he had simple wishes. But really what else mattered. He scoffed at his own thinking. Time to chill, he thought… time to forget it all now.

Making his way into the bar of choice tonight he heard a scuffle at the back. Just his luck he sighed. What fuckin prick was causin trouble? This was the quietest bar in town tonight. He didn’t want the last vestige of escape ruined for him tonight… of all nights.

What caused his insides to tighten with worry was the words he heard bellowed. “You sicken me… all of you. I’m no HERO… I’m nothing! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!” He dashed quickly towards the back, there was only one person on this planet that would say that and have that voice, albeit much louder than he’d ever heard it raised before.

He made it back in time to almost get run over by a young kid and to see…”Cloud fuckin strife” He whispered half under his breath in disbelief. The blond looked righteous. He hadn’t ever seen him like that, not in ANY of their fights. Not even when Cloud stood up against Sephiroth. He watched as Cloud turned towards the man he had pinned on the bar. The kid looked scared out of his dimwitted brain, with good reason.

“You should learn to stay the FUCK OUT OF PEOPLES BUSINESS!!!” Even before the statement was half out of the blond’s mouth Reno had lunged from his place where he’d been standing and staring agape at the scene, to being immediately in the way of Strife, he lunged pushing a very strong and well aimed closed fist away from the kids face. ‘Fuck, he’d have killed him’ Reno thought one half split second before he realized he’d be next for sure. The Turks were certainly not best friends with Cloud and his gang, if you could call them that.

But as Reno leaned forward pushing himself more between the kid and the psychotic blond he would have NEVER expected the word that tumbled from the blonds mouth as his own fierce eyes met with the bewildered sky blue and lit light a fuckin SOLDIERS eyes.

“Zack!?” Reno watched as a sudden sadness and relief washed over the blond. He grabbed Reno’s shoulders as if Reno was going to disappear. Reno heard the kid lunge off of the bar and make a run for it.

“Shit kid, I er..” Reno began, but just as quickly as the relief had washed over Clouds features they were gone. Reno had been completely shocked by Clouds actions to begin with, but now he was even more confused. He looked around at everyone’s fearful expressions and then back at the now, very lost, looking blond. He looked as if the whole world was dead. That was how lost and hopeless he looked.

Reno turned to the barkeeper that was obviously ready to raise a fuss about the mess. He threw a handful of bills at him. “That aughta cover it, yo” He saluted the man with two fingers and turned back to Cloud. Obviously the most shocking things tonight weren’t over, as the blond allowed Reno to take him by the arm and lead him blindly out of the bar and into the night. “I aint gonna ask, ok kid?” He turned Cloud and held him by both upper arms as they stood on the front walkway in the chilly night. Cloud wasn’t letting his eyes meet Reno’s now, if anything the Kid was looking completely shamed. “Listen yo, I don’t got wheels tonight, ya hear? And you are tanked more than the army kid… wheres your wheels. I know you got that bike of yours. I am NOT letting you drive yourself home the way you are.”

Cloud didn’t give even one argument as what would be done. He didn’t care. He didn’t even know why he was being told what to do by Reno, why did he show up. And why was Cloud letting him control him. Cloud really didn’t care as he held out the key and pointed to an alley around the corner. Reno took him by the arm again and let him to his bike. Cloud didn’t think about whether his precious bike would have a good driver, let alone that Reno was Shinra, or a pilot, or anything. He saw Reno climb onto Fenrir, and watched him fiddle with the bike a minute before holding out his hand to Cloud. Cloud took the hand and still kept his eyes down cast but willingly fitted behind Reno and wrapped his arms around him. As they sped away and headed in a different direction than Clouds home, Cloud still didn’t care.

‘Maybe If I close my eyes….’ Cloud thought and leaned his cheek against Reno’s shoulder blades. The taller man handled the bike in an eloquent and practiced manner. But Cloud didn’t think about that as his heart felt like it was shredded all over again. The person driving the bike was too tall, to lean, he wasn’t him…

When Reno pulled up to his place he didn’t even have time to wonder if it was a good idea for someone who was a member of the former Avalanche group to know where he lived. He didn’t even have time to ask Cloud if he was ok with being there, or tell him that he just wanted the blond to sleep off the alcohol. No, he could barely react as he walked into his back door and into the bright warm lights of the hallway.

He turned around from leading Cloud inside, to look down into the most lost and forlorn sky blue eyes again. The same eyes, the same lost look that had made him decide this action back at the bar. Why hadn’t he ever noticed how deeply Cloud’s eyes and face could pull him into it, and get lost in before. But what really made him feel lost for any thought was the fact that tears filled those beautiful eyes now.

Reno still held Clouds hand in one hand, and his opposite arm with his other hand. But he released Clouds arm to suddenly and kindly stroke back those rebellious spiky bangs from the blonds face. The moment was tender and caring. It was all it took to make the tears begin to fall. Cloud closed his eyes and turned away.

Reno wouldn’t have any of that. The kid was lost, hurting, and broken in this moment. A place that Reno had been FAR too many times in his life. He needed him right now. So he yanked on Clouds hand again and led him towards the bedroom but was shocked when the obviously greater strength of the would-be SOLDIER stopped and yanked his hand back suddenly.

“Nothing… no! I’m not a hero, don’t treat me like one. It won’t bring him back!” Cloud started angrily. “I’m no Savior of the World… Gaia’s champion… Whatever the hell everyone says. None of it saved him. Why couldn’t it have been me… why couldn’t he be the real hero!?” Cloud turned back to Reno, who had stayed respectfully silent the whole time. Cloud suddenly let out a choking sob and began to crumple. Reno catches him and holds him up.

“Let it out...” Reno softly says as the broken blond sobs quietly. Reno could tell that Cloud hadn’t cryed in a long time… if at all. The kid was always serious. He never got emotional. And Reno had seen him drinking many times, so why now all of a sudden… this night, did Cloud react like this. “You haven’t cried in a long time, sometimes you need to…” he says softly again.

Cloud shakes his head no. “Not since… that day” and sobs wrack his body again.

Understanding dawns over Reno. “Today is…” Reno pulls back and looks at Cloud with understanding and regret filling his eyes.

Cloud’s crying grows silent and without tipping up to meet Reno’s gaze he finishes for him “five years ago… today…”


“If you can sleep, held in these hands…

Then I’ll erase it for you within my arms…

If we are reborn…

And meet again someday smiling…”

“I won’t forget you”


“December 22, 0007 Just outside of Midgar. SOLDIER 1st class Jack Fair, is shot and killed… They were all around, I would have been killed or taken, but he saved me… Me! He was massacred… I was helpless. I held him as he died…” The last few words were a whisper. Silent tears had begun to fall again.

Reno slowly slid them to the floor, using the wall as leverage. He rocked the younger man in his arms side to side. This was the sturdy and proud Cloud Strife, yet Reno had never had more awe for the man than he did in this very moment. He didn’t say anything to Cloud, but wrapped his arms gently around the man and tucked his head under his chin. Rocking gently as the blond cried all his sadness out. Reno was unbelievably shocked, he couldn’t figure out why Cloud was letting him hold him, let alone… he was beginning to relax in the red head’s arms.

Cloud sat there, leaned into the chest of an unfamiliar body, being rocked and soothed. Why wasn’t he running, why wasn’t he fighting…wasn’t he supposed to? Why was he feeling, warm… and safe… and relaxed. His tears finally stopped falling. And as he felt his eyes growing heavy and finally closing, he thought about the thing that stood out strongest in his mind that very moment. The scent… the comforting scent that was surrounding him in this place… and especially from the body.. the clothes that he was cuddled against. Masculine… warm… comforting. It was familiar, yet, not…

Reno felt the blond shift into sleep as the body he held relaxed completely, after clinging onto him and nestling his face into Reno’s chest even tighter. He didn’t know how he’d gotten here. The whole world had spun from where it was when he’d left his mission today. Why did this happen? He would thank the gods but he didn’t know if he was worthy to do so. His grip shifted and he stroked the feather soft hair away from the sleeping blonds face.

He thought back to all of the encounters he’d had with Cloud, from the fighting, to the everyday spats they had when they were both in Seventh Heaven at the same time. Their encounters were always tense, but never truly hateful. “Why didn’t I see sooner, just how beautiful you are… I always respected you… even though you probably never knew it, kid…”

Reno leaned his face down and breathed in the scent of clouds hair and skin. It was comforting… like rain… and fresh mountain air…

[End Chapter]

A/N: well… there is so much I need to slap myself for. I have at least three stories that need updating. Well at least I have about half of the chapter 19 of My Road done… but I have others… anyhoo. Today I suddenly was BORED! *gasp* I haven’t been BORED in… wow… I don’t know how long. Life has NEVER ENDING responsibilities. But today, they either were all taken care of, or couldn’t be done.. due to rain, or because it was a Sunday and every place was closed. So yeah. I actually hit a moment and didn’t know what to do. And as I listened to Gackt… Like I do a lot... this inspiration hit me … I knew what I wanted to write. Spur of the moment. Sat down. Planned it out, wrote detailed notes… and here we are! ^.^ hopefully this will move quickly. I will have the chance to finish up some writing early tomorrow. And I hope to hurry right up and get the next chapter of this posted right off!

Ok… that’s all… I’m done ranting. I need sleep now :P

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