Into Esthar

BY : Chemotaxis
Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male
Dragon prints: 999
Disclaimer: We do not own Final Fantasy or any of the characters in this story, nor do we profit from writing this story.

A/N: Okay, so this is a long chapter. It totals at just under 15.000 words, so get a drink and get comfortable if you plan on reading it all in one go!




~ Chapter Five - Falling In



[Seifer Almasy's Apartment, Zayin House, Thursday, 16th of October, 2:29 am]

"...What do these do?"

Entirely unable to believe his own eyes, Seifer almost choked on his drink. There was no way in hell Squall had just taken Avalanche. No fucking way. On instinct, he shot up from the couch, too shocked to sit still. A few seconds ticked by before he was able to school his rather undignified expression.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath as a huge grin spread across his face, pure amusement shining in his eyes. Realizing the night had just become infinitely more interesting, he sent Hyne a private thanks.

Chuckling softly, he walked over to where Squall stood, the move earning him a warning glare. Without another word he brushed past the man, reached into the drawer without hesitation, and pulled out the bag. Taking hold of a brightly colored pill, he turned to face the brunet and placed the piece of promised bliss in his mouth, swallowing it dry. Distracted by thoughts of how Avalanche would affect the younger man, he grinned mischievously, the idea of the ice prince kicking back and being stripped of his tightly held self-restraint far too amusing.

Following Seifer's every move, Squall's body tensed up as his eyes flitted over the small blue tablet disappearing behind the blond's lips. Somehow it felt like the simple act sealed a deal he wasn't sure he wanted to make. Seifer's obvious amusement at his question contrasted a bit too strongly with the man's previous contemplative musing, raising the suspicion he had played right into the ex-knight's hands.

Keeping his narrowed gaze fixed on the blond, he remained motionless and awaited Seifer's next move. Frowning at still not having received an answer and being left in the dark, he could only hope it was a sense of victory over roping him into an illegal act that had Seifer sizing him up in amusement, rather than the consequences of said act.

"You might feel slightly hot," Seifer said, deciding he'd dragged out his answer long enough.

Walking closer, intending to tease the younger man, he stopped mere inches away, but forgot his purpose when his eyes caught on long brown locks resting against pale cheeks. As his gaze traveled to Squall's lips, followed by an instinctive move to meet turbulent gray-blues, it became painfully obvious just how much he wanted the guy.

The night definitely wasn't going to be the plain sailing he'd imagined just seconds ago. It would be a minefield. A booby trap at every corner, ready to land him on his ass. Even without Avalanche, he had felt tempted to try his luck, the thought of being castrated on the spot the only thing keeping him in place. He could only hope that staying at a decent distance would keep them both out of harm's way.

"You'll feel amazing, Squall," he said in a low voice.

Caught off guard by Seifer's close proximity and tone of voice, Squall's reaction came too slowly when he averted his eyes from the blond's intense gaze. As he moved to put some distance between them, his eyebrows scrunched in annoyance.

Watching the reaction unfold, Seifer wasn't surprised. It was the only response he should have expected. Even so, it reminded him of exactly who and what they were and just how little right he had to play any games with Squall. Inwardly cringing at how easily he had forgotten that painful detail, he schooled his expression.

"Those," he began as he tilted his head in the direction of the remaining pills, "will make you forget about everything."

Eyebrows rising slightly at the statement, Squall doubted the existence of a drug potent enough to make him "forget." Even deities burrowing into his brain, feeding off his memories, hadn't managed the task in the end. But, whatever the drug's effect, be it a temporary dulling of unwanted memories or simply a night of no longer caring about what he couldn't forget, he'd welcome the reprieve.

Leaning back against the kitchen counter, Seifer placed his hands on the cold surface. As he thought back on nights in the past where he'd been under the drug's influence, his eyes grew unfocused. "You'll feel nothing but ecstasy," he said distantly, lost to introspection. "It's perfect."

Pushing himself away from the counter, he walked over to the couch. There wasn't really any way he could explain to Squall what the drug did; no words could.

Perfect ecstasy. As Seifer described it with absolute conviction, Squall felt increasingly uncomfortable. It was too vague an explanation to form a clear idea of what to expect, but apparently it wasn't something he would have much control over. Realizing the possible embarrassing implications of experiencing something like that in the ex-knight's presence fueled his apprehension, his previous determination short-lived and draining from his face. His only consolation was that the blond had taken a pill as well.

Not moving from his spot, he absentmindedly examined the condensation that had formed on the cold stone of the counter where his hands had been resting just a moment before. Not one to go back on a decision, definitely not in front of Seifer, he tried to quell his unease. He'd just have to ride it out and hope the effect would be what he needed. Shifting his gaze from the counter top to the tall blond, he willed himself to stay calm.

"How long before it kicks in?" he asked, his voice deceivingly neutral. Knowing when to expect the drug to start working would at least give him something to go by.

"Usually about half an hour," Seifer answered as he sat down on the couch. "Sometimes, maybe more," he added, turning his head in Squall's direction.

With a slight nod, Squall fell silent once more, at a loss for what to do. Half an hour was both too fast and not nearly fast enough. He wanted to get some kind of handle on the situation and assess what Seifer wanted from it all, but at the same time he didn't want the chance to consider what possible disaster he'd gotten himself into.

As the silence stretched on, Seifer watched Squall and began registering all the little details about the brunet that had changed. A few scars he didn't recognize were visible along the man's arms, as was to be expected. It was unavoidable considering what Squall had been up to. Not many weeks went by without Seifer's students regaling each other with the latest story about the SeeD Commander.

At first Seifer had tried hard to ignore such stories, the reminders of their shared past too painful. But as time went by, the stories had begun to draw his attention, until one day he found himself listening for any news about the stoic man. The last he had heard was Squall single-handedly taking down a giant cobra. Giant as in three fucking stories tall giant. He still didn't know how much to believe of the outrageous stories, but one thing was clear: Squall was still a SeeD and for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what brought a SeeD to Esthar, the place well enough protected by its own armed forces.

"What are you doing in Esthar?" he asked.

Gray-blue eyes grew distant in thought as Squall contemplated the question. Innocent as it seemed, revealing Esthar as his permanent place of residence was the kind of information he couldn't afford to place in the wrong hands. But here he was, at Seifer's apartment, the ex-knight having exposed his home to someone who could easily turn such knowledge against him.

"... I live here," he eventually replied, before walking up to the couch. Passing Seifer, he chose the spot furthest away from the blond and sat down. As he leaned back against soft cushioning, choppy bangs effectively obscured his eyes from view.

Irritated at Squall's answer, the statement not really explaining anything, just posing even more questions, Seifer's eyes narrowed slightly. "Aren't you still at B-Garden?"

"No... I moved here six months ago." Squall's answer came more reluctantly this time. "I still work for Garden."

Surprised at the information, Seifer barely acknowledged the brunet's words with a low hum. "Why Esthar?"

"That's none of your business," Squall deadpanned reflexively, cold dissuasion coming naturally as he drew a line for the blond not to cross. Within the short time it had taken Seifer to ask three simple questions, the blond had already managed to cut a bit too close to home. He wanted to put his sorceress out of his mind, not think back on when it had all started to go downhill.

Seifer's expression turned grim. Squall might never have been the most sociable of guys, but refusing to answer a simple question did nothing but rile Seifer up. "Yeah, whatever..." he let out resentfully, not masking his disdain for the brunet's words.

Tilting his head sideways to peer at the blond, Squall realized he was coming dangerously close to ruining the fragile balance that had kept things civil thus far.

"I just don't want to talk about it ..." he said, the attempt to convey his dislike of the topic in a less harsh manner dying on his lips as he angled his face away again.

Disliking the evasive dismissal just as much as the previous words, Seifer tried hard to keep his cool. He just couldn't understand what the hell Squall's problem was. It had been the brunet who had wanted to talk in the first place, only to prove just as reluctant and unwilling to say anything beyond the stunted sentences he had always been a master of.

"You know, if you want I can call you a cab. You might make it home before the effects set in," he spoke bitterly, before turning his head away from Squall, knowing that the urge to punch the brunet would only increase if he kept looking at the guy.

At the offer he knew wasn't meant as a friendly suggestion, Squall's stomach knotted in a mix of confusing emotions. As difficult as their encounter had been so far, he couldn't leave now. He couldn't go back to the penthouse, knowing he'd messed up his one chance to have his answers. All that awaited him there were empty rooms and dark thoughts trapped in the confines of his mind.

For once he felt certain that solitude wouldn't help him collect his poise and settle the growing pit in his stomach. He couldn't be sure that the blond would still be there the following day and the thought that it would end this way was something he couldn't accept. After this night, there was no way he'd be able to put the ghosts of his past behind locks and bars a second time. They'd spill out into his thoughts and he'd dream again. He didn't want to leave. He had nowhere to go apart from an unwelcoming room rented for the night or a scarcely lit train platform with no trains arriving until morning.

"...I can't go home right now."

The statement escaped his lips reluctantly, a tentative voicing of something that had run its roots deeply and shouldn't have been voiced. Dark eyebrows drew together as he realized the strained quality to his own voice and just how detached he'd become from that one word. Home. He could no longer relate to it. It held no meaning anymore and he wondered when that had happened. He felt sure he'd understood it at some point or else he wouldn't be experiencing the sudden sense of loss.

Attention caught by the weird response, Seifer promptly turned his head back to study the younger man. He hadn't expected a comment like that. As his thoughts returned to the events that had taken place earlier that night, it became glaringly obvious that Rinoa and Squall were still a couple. Why else would Squall not want to return home, if not because of Rinoa's presence there?

Vaguely registering an unfamiliar pang of jealousy, he did his best to ignore it, fully aware of just how misplaced it was. Really, what business was it of his if they were together or not, or had relationship troubles for that matter? Yet his lips curled downwards in distaste on their own volition. Annoyed that he'd become stuck in the position of a fucking couple's therapist, he averted his gaze.

"...Ooookay," he spoke in derision, drawing out the word to underline his contempt.

Thoughts of a loss that had gone by unnoticed were abruptly cut short and stolen away, the single word uttered in plain loathing sending inexplicable pinpricks of hurt through Squall's chest. Turning to look at the blond, brow scrunched in confusion at the attitude Seifer was giving him, all that greeted him was a harsh stare directed at the far wall, far away from him, and the realization that he'd overstayed his welcome in yet another person's home.

He felt those roots dig a bit deeper, make it just a bit colder and yet all the easier to do as the blond had asked. He should've known that things would pan out this way; they always did. "This was a mistake," he said quietly as he pushed up from the couch, unable to keep the rejection he felt from lacing the statement spoken in parting.

The relief Seifer had felt at hearing Squall rise from the couch was short lived, the strange quality to the man's voice pulling him from his grim thoughts. When the dark of Squall's jeans entered his vision, the man clearly about to leave, he couldn't stop himself. Before he'd even registered what he was doing, the word "stay" had left his lips and his hand had traveled to Squall's thigh to try and prevent the man from leaving.

Everything had been so much easier when pissing Squall off to a degree where the guy would simply walk off meant nothing more than having to wait until the following day to pester the brunet all over again. If Squall left now, he would never see the guy again and despite the resentment he had felt only moments before, he wasn't ready for that.

Confused and effectively halted in his path, Squall stepped away from the touch against his leg and turned to face Seifer. Green eyes were fixed on him, the blond's expression unreadable and not giving away what had brought about the sudden change of heart. Though he didn't understand Seifer's reason, he didn't need to, to understand the offer.

Stay.

Unable to completely shake his wariness after such complete aversion to his presence, he only allowed himself a cautious kind of relief. He knew he should probably leave, but he remained rooted in place by Seifer's unyielding gaze. With each second that ticked by, his resolve to leave weakened, the prospect of what waited for him outside Seifer's apartment discouraging him further.

There was a familiarity to the feel and scents of Seifer's apartment that compelled him to stay. It brought him back to days spent sparring, too long ago. It reminded him of borrowing oil to clean gunblade parts that didn't have a scratch on them yet and of even longer ago, when the two of them had escaped from the rest of their excursion group in Deling City to go check out the newest gunblade models in a local weapon shop.

Watching Seifer watching him, absorbing the strange atmosphere of the moment, he sat down on the coffee table, across from Seifer.

Struck by the surrealism of the moment, Seifer kept his eyes on Squall. After so long and everything that had happened between them, to have Squall in his apartment, sitting on his coffee table no less, seemed like the unlikeliest of encounters. He almost snorted at the notion, easily recalling the part of the evening that had been even more unlikely: Squall taking Avalanche. Feeling a smile threaten to break free, knowing he had been the one to lure the prim and proper ice prince into such an act, he instead remembered the reason he'd offered it in the first place: Rinoa.

Recalling the disdain he'd expressed only minutes earlier, behavior that had almost driven Squall away, he realized the drug was setting in. It always began that way. He'd lose track of his thoughts and his moods would change only to mellow out and make him unable to hold on to anything unpleasant. He still hadn't moved his eyes from Squall, his gaze unwavering as he kept studying the brunet.

But then his eyes strayed, more intrigued by the longer brown locks that framed Squall's face. Somehow he had never imagined the guy actually changing, his mind having frozen the brunet into boyish youth. All the subtle changes he hadn't had time to spot back at the club now became evident: the hardened lines to Squall's face, the more self-assured set to gray-blue eyes, the way Squall held himself. If anything, maturity made the man even more irresistible. There was nothing better than bringing a guy to bed who had the strength to challenge him, being on top all the sweeter when he didn't have to care about being too rough. Starting to feel hot, his train of thought not helping things, he ran a finger under the collar of his shirt.

Watching as long fingers tampered with black fabric, the sight painting a phantom tightness around his own neck, Squall kept his hands from wandering and mimicking the slight motion. Instead he dropped them to the coffee table, his palms pressing flat against the surface. Slowly he slid them back across stained wood, his fingers spread wide to better feel the rich texture.

Tracing the grains and indentations along the surface of the table with careful fingertips, he tipped his head to the side, his eyes following the path he was drawing on the wood with a vague sense of fascination. The coffee table at the penthouse held no such ridges, bumps, or stains, its lines all glass and metal. Not everything in the penthouse was like that, sleek and without texture, but somehow it was all empty anyway. None of it carried any real meaning to him. He wondered if maybe Rinoa had sensed it too, the creeping feel of walls closing in, the lack of air. Somehow he knew she wouldn't return there, not after tonight, not after everything that had happened between them.

Reminded of the events at the club, his thoughts jumped back to the whirling torrent of anger and hurt Rinoa had assaulted him with mere hours ago and her declaration that he was no longer needed. Now, though, he felt like he was standing in the eye of the storm, no longer swept along in its lashing winds, merely an onlooker of events that no longer seemed to matter.

If anything, he felt strangely relieved. He wouldn't have to face those dark, hazel eyes anymore, their gaze solemn and dissatisfied as they searched for something that wasn't there. Even though he knew she wouldn't ever be at the penthouse again, the thought didn't upset him nearly as much as it should. His apprehension at having to return to that emptiness was fading already. He couldn't really hold on to the distant echo of void rooms and bare walls when everything about Seifer's apartment wasn't empty.

His hand paused at a smoother patch of wood, where a stain of oil had soaked into the wood, his sensitive fingers curling and uncurling against the warm surface of the table. Or was it his hands that were warm? Dismissing the stray thought, he tore his gaze away from the particularly large and elaborately shaped stain and tilted his head to the side, before training unreadable gray-blue eyes on the blond sitting in front of him. Hands resting against tarnished wood, he could now feel tangible heat spreading throughout his fingers, up his arms and flooding his body; like roots sucking up warm, warm water.

"I think I'm starting to feel hot," he stated plainly as he brought up a hand to press against flushed cheeks, the heat beginning to swell into pleasant waves, fast and hot, coursing through him. Seifer had mentioned this, he suddenly remembered, which meant the Avalanche was starting to set in. But the realization failed to impress anything more than a slight jolt of apprehension, the moment quickly washed away again with another wave of heat.

Seifer didn't need to hear Squall's words to understand that the man was affected by Avalanche, the way the brunet's hand was pressed to a flushed cheek much more telling. He knew exactly what Squall was experiencing, how everything suddenly caused unfamiliar tingles to run along your skin and set your every nerve on fire. He knew how everything that usually appeared mundane suddenly became the most fascinating thing in the world, but most of all, he knew how even the slightest of touches could feel madly arousing.

Unable to stop his eyes from continuing a trail down the brunet's chest, he didn't even try to fight the urge. Any previous concerns slowly disappeared to the back of his mind. He couldn't hold on to them, their mere memories dissipating into thin mist, leaving nothing but the thought that he really needed to see Squall, just see the man and nothing else. As his eyes moved back to regard gray-blues, he distantly realized his thoughts were leading him astray. The sight was too much and Squall was right there. All he had to do was lean forward. He could almost imagine Squall's reluctant lips against his own and feel the press of Squall's chest against his hands as he forced the smaller man onto the coffee table.

Possessing just enough sense to realize his mind was treading dangerous ground, he reluctantly closed his eyes in an effort to put an end to his straying thoughts, but the seductive imagery of the man before him wouldn't disappear. As a familiar throb settled in his groin, he leaned his head back to rest softly against the couch, a small crease of pleasure forming on his brow.

Slumped into a position of complete relaxation, he spread his legs farther apart and moved his hands to lie at his sides on the couch. With the image of Squall still clear in his mind, he let out an almost inaudible moan as he focused on the feel of the fabric of his pants moving against his sensitive skin. At the satisfying friction, his body froze up, his grip tightening against the couch.

Taking a deep breath, he willed his less than pure thoughts to go away and slowly opened his eyes to look at Squall through heavy lidded eyes, his fingers still tingling from their innocent press against the fabric of the couch. It was hard to suppress the urges the sight in front of him inspired. He wanted to touch Squall badly, but he knew he had to restrain himself. Mustering every last ounce of self-control, he pushed his desire aside. He could do this; he could let Squall enjoy Avalanche.

Returning the blond's gaze in curiosity, Squall let his hand drop back onto the table's surface and released a deep breath. Seifer's relaxed moves and the subtle twitches to the man's expression told him the blond was experiencing the same waves of heat he was. The waves were becoming increasingly hot, burning his cheeks a darkening red hue, rolling through him faster and faster.

Placing steadying hands on the table, he languidly started to stretch his neck and limbs, working the kinks out of rigid muscles and shedding the tension that had crept into his body during the day. It helped channel some of the heat, tempering it. With every soothing rush of warmth and pleasantly aching stretch, he felt a bit lighter, a little more unburdened. A look of contentment began taking over his flushed features as he arched his back slightly to flex his spine and shoulders.

Watching as the brunet's hand dropped back to the table, Seifer felt calmness replace his earlier desire. As Squall started to loosen up and relax, no strained atmosphere or harsh words between them, he couldn't help but feel strangely satisfied, and a lazy smile emerged on his lips. Just watching Squall unwind was enough for him, his indecent thoughts receding to the back of his mind.

When the last vestiges of tired stiffness had flowed from his body, Squall leaned his head backwards and stared at the ceiling unblinkingly for a while. He couldn't identify the feeling that grew in the pit of his stomach. The sound of his heartbeat was thundering in his ears. The heat was becoming too much, the room too cramped when his mind felt unbridled, free like wide grasslands stretching out endlessly. The odd sensation swelled until it filled him completely, until he felt like he would burst if he didn't move and breathe.

Tilting his head to scan the room around him, his brow furrowed slightly at not finding a single window when he desperately needed air. Without warning, he pushed up from the coffee table and walked towards the door Seifer had disappeared behind when they had first arrived at the apartment. There had to be a window somewhere.

Observing the brunet's movement, Seifer arched an eyebrow in curiosity, puzzled at why Squall was heading into his bedroom. Getting up from the couch, he followed the man.

Once inside the bedroom, Seifer stopped in his tracks as his eyes traveled to the brunet. Squall hadn't noticed his presence yet; he just stood by the window, leaning out into the chill night air, a fresh breeze playing with dark strands of hair. The brunet's whole body was set aglow with electric blue light emanating from the street lighting and buildings outside. Watching as Squall closed his eyes and took a deep breath, Seifer felt himself relax. A small smile grew on his lips; this was what he had wanted when he had suggested Avalanche.

Unaware of the blond's gaze on him, Squall focused on the play of the wind caressing his face. The chill of the autumn air had taken the edge off the stifling heat, his mind now wandering out into the wide vastness of a hazy, starless sky. Only on the 9th floor, the window didn't reach high enough to oversee the vast expanse of the city, taller buildings blocking the horizon. The view differed greatly from the one at the penthouse, not towering from above but looking up from beneath, amidst an ocean of lights and neon flickering.

It strangely reminded him of the deep sea research center, where mere glass had separated him from dark blue waters, dotted with luminescent schools of fish and electric bright jelly fish drifting by. For a moment the surreal images overlapped, but a distant honk of a car broke the illusion. A smile tugged at his lips at the thought of a moon jelly swimming past Seifer's window when he remembered the blond's dislike of the creatures ever since the boy had stepped on one at the orphanage. Softly shaking his head at the memory, he let his gaze roam the surrounding buildings.

A few shadows traveled past dimly lit windows in the distance, but most apartments of the neighboring buildings were cast in darkness. Leaning out a bit farther to better feel the currents of wind, he soaked in the peace of the night, drawing it in with every breath. The remote sounds of city nightlife had melted together in a soothing background lull, calming the hammer of his heart and slowing his breathing. Oddly connected to what he saw, smelled, and heard, he didn't feel the sense of isolation and loneliness he usually experienced when watching over the vast metropolis. All he felt was calm.

Still watching from his position by the door, Seifer took a step farther into the room. As another gust of wind took hold of Squall's hair, he imagined the breeze rushing against his own skin and shivered in satisfaction. Overheating was one of the primary side effects of Avalanche, but it was a small price to pay for the escape the drug presented. Thoughts of standing under the cold spray of his shower, every cool droplet of liquid dousing the hot fire playing beneath his skin, made his whole body tingle in remembered pleasure.

"I sometimes take a cold shower when the heat becomes too much," he spoke softly, breaking the silence.

At the low timbre sounding from behind him, starting him from his thoughts, Squall glanced over his shoulder. Gaze landing on the blond, he slowly turned around to fully face the man, a small smile gracing his lips.

"I think I like it better this way," he answered quietly, a breathy quality to his voice. "The wind feels nice."

All shields seemed to have vanished from gray-blue eyes as Seifer kept watching the brunet. The uncertain edge to Squall's behavior had finally lifted and with it some of the man's tightly held control and restraint, the slight upwards curl to pale lips betraying as much.

"Well, then you should enjoy it," Seifer said warmly as he walked over to the bed, not wanting to disturb Squall. He would let Squall enjoy the moment. Breaking eye contact, he lowered himself onto the soft white sheets and stretched out on his back. Locking his hands behind his head, he gazed up at the ceiling, complete relaxation spreading throughout his body.

Pulled from his fascination with the city, Squall watched as Seifer made himself comfortable on the bed. Taking in the blond's relaxed position, the man completely at ease in his presence, he felt content. As his eyes traveled the profile of his one-time rival, he allowed himself to indulge in a detailed study of familiar features and lingered on the slanted scar he'd cut there himself. He could still clearly remember how easily his gunblade had slit open skin, bright red blooming on the blond's forehead in a mirror image of his own wound. He didn't regret it, nor did he regret the moment of inattentiveness that had cost him his own scar. When everything else about his sparring partner had become mere memories, at least the scar had still been tangible and real.

Gaze moving back to take in a very real Seifer reclined on a bed in an apartment that clearly had been the blond's for a while, Squall wondered how long the man had lived there to imprint such a distinct feel onto the place, how long the man had been practically right under his nose.

"Have you been here all this time?"

Listening to the softly spoken question, Seifer thought back to his first months in Esthar. As images formed in his mind, he was unable to hold onto them, the brief glimpses into the past disappearing just as quickly as they came into existence.

"Almost," he said before moving his eyes away from Squall to rest on the ceiling. "It seemed like a good place to go."

Squall wasn't sure what to make of the brief reply. He hadn't come to Esthar because it had "seemed like a good place," but out of necessity. He'd never taken a liking to the large city, never lingered, and wondered why Seifer had. But no elaboration followed, the blond drifting off again. Frowning at his inability to keep the conversation going, Seifer clearly more interested in silent relaxation, Squall quietly hoisted himself onto the windowsill and watched with mild interest as the blond started to fiddle with his collar again.

Seifer was beginning to overheat badly, his skin feeling as if it was on fire. The room felt increasingly stifling, the air almost suffocating. He could no longer bear it, his fingers tugging at his collar reflexively. As he moved to sit up on the bed, his hands worked to undo the buttons of his shirt, leaving smooth fabric to pool at his sides. Instantly rewarded with cool air sliding against his hot skin, he returned to a pose of relaxation, his eyes closing to better focus on the sensation. Running a hand through his hair, he inhaled deeply and let his mind drift away with the evening breeze.

Frown deepening a little when the short bout of activity died down again, the blond not saying a word nor looking his way, Squall almost let a sigh escape. If anything, it seemed like Seifer was perfectly content to leave him to his own devices, intent on moving as little as possible. Briefly, he entertained the thought of roughly shaking the man into action. He wanted to do something, anything, but he couldn't bring himself to disturb the blond, not when he seemed so utterly at peace.

Fingers fidgeting with a loose thread sticking out of the hem of his T-shirt, he let his gaze travel the room in an absentminded study, but the room held little that could hold his interest for long and eventually his eyes gravitated back to silent figure at the centre of it all.

Vaguely annoyed at Seifer's inactivity, he closed his eyes in an attempt to reclaim the soothing calm he'd experienced just moments before, but all he could hear was the loud contrast between Seifer's slow breathing and the quickening drum of his own heartbeat. That feeling of unbridled energy, ready to break free, started to swell again and coiled wildly within the constraints of heated skin and itching muscles.

He couldn't sit still any longer. Sliding down from the windowsill, his feet failed to carry him away, solid walls keeping him in check. No amount of aimless pacing managed to soothe his mounting agitation, his mouth becoming drier and his pulse more rampant with every step. Eyes darting to the blond, he was greeted by a picture of perfect, oblivious calm. Forgetting his decision not to disturb Seifer, he walked up to the bed and looked down at the dozing man in exasperation.

"How can you lie still like that?"

Opening his eyes and turning to lie on his side to better study the brunet, Seifer was surprised to find Squall standing right next to the bed. Knowing all too well what was causing Squall to act the way he was, he couldn't suppress his mirth and smirked at the brunet's predicament. He'd had times like that whilst on Avalanche as well; times where he'd been full of excess energy and the drive to just do something.

"Feeling restless there, Squall?" he teased.

Fixed with an expectant gaze in reply, no answer given, Seifer realized he had to help the other man understand what was happening. It had come as no surprise that Squall didn't know what Avalanche was; he couldn't really imagine the man having had any experience with drugs.

"Just focus on what you're feeling," he said in an effort to explain, hoping it would help ease Squall's restlessness, just like the feel of the duvet beneath him and the flow of the autumn wind against his skin was all that filled his own mind. All other thoughts simply drifted away.

Turning to lie on his back once more, he sank further into the bed and languidly made himself comfortable. With one hand resting on his stomach, just above the waistline of his pants, he enjoyed the warm press it exerted on his skin. A low rumbling sound of pleasure left him as he moved his other hand to rest at the back of his neck. Closing his eyes, he forgot all about time and place.

At the completely useless advice, the blond entirely unbothered, a frustrated sigh spilled from Squall's lips. Sitting himself down on the bed, on the side nearest to the open window and flowing air, he fisted white cotton sheets in an attempt to distract himself from the prickling itch that crawled through each of his fingers and infected his entire body. He couldn't focus on it. If he did, it would burn him to a cinder. Eyes glazing over at the effort it took him to dam in the assault of raw sensations, he pushed his next words past reluctant lips. "... It's not that easy."

Not understanding the vague, panic-edged words, Seifer immediately pushed himself up into a sitting position and moved closer to Squall, the man's tone of voice pulling his mind straight out of relaxation and into worry.

"Hey..." he said softly, wanting to calm the brunet. Placing a hand at the man's wrist to get his attention and to show his sincerity, he spoke his next words carefully. "Take a deep breath."

The touch against his wrist was too sudden, Squall's skin and nerves tingling hot at the simple contact. His entire mind singled in on the feeling, his gaze coming back into focus as he found himself staring into concerned eyes. Doing as instructed, he inhaled and exhaled deeply a few times, but the air between them was too thick to fill his lungs. Green eyes monopolized his line of sight, their poison spreading fast and rushing through his veins, heightening his awareness of Seifer.

Releasing a shaky breath, he let himself recline into the soft pillows lined up by the headboard, hands still grabbing on to the white fabric by his sides. Eyes turbulent, he looked at Seifer in unrest.

"It's not helping," he said quietly, his voice strained. "... I feel so..."

Unable to put words to what exactly it was he was feeling, he fell silent. Scrunching his eyes closed, he hoped to drown out at least one of his senses.

Concern increasing further, Seifer moved to rest on his knees next to Squall and leaned in to better study the man's expression.

"You feel so what?" he asked as he placed a hand on the bed for support, next to one of Squall's shoulders. Watching as the rise and fall of the brunet's chest only seemed to quicken, shallow breaths coming in hard and fast, he knew he had to do something.

"Look at me," he demanded, not liking Squall's reaction one bit. "Focus," he added firmly, bringing his right hand up to rest on the brunet's shoulder in a steadying hold, wanting to root him in reality.

The large hand squeezing his shoulder sent a pleasant shiver through Squall's body, the sensation fusing dangerously with the feel of Seifer's warm breath caressing his face. All he could focus on was how close the blond was, the man's presence overwhelming and impossible to escape. Turning his face away from the other, needing to put some distance between them, he whispered almost pleadingly, "You're too close."

The relief he felt as the grip on his shoulder loosened was immediately dispelled as Seifer's hand traveled along his chest to rest at his waist instead. Jaws clenching as the touch seared a path against his skin, he couldn't fight the charge of excitement that coursed through him.

"Tell me what's wrong, Squall."

At the gentle prompt, Squall forgot why he had looked away in the first place and found himself drowning in green eyes again. Swallowing thickly, he hesitantly moved his fingers to brush past the hand that was pressed to his side. "Everything... is so intense."

Unable to suppress the massive grin that spread on his lips, Seifer let out a low chuckle, understanding finally dawning. It was all too easy to imagine the dispassionate man habitually suppressing any sensual stimuli; of course Squall would be the only guy to be confused by pleasure.

"It's okay..." he spoke reassuringly, "That's what the pills are supposed to do."

It was in that moment that the reality of their situation struck him. He had Squall lying in his bed, right in front of him. Not a fantasy but oh so real. He itched to touch the brunet; to let his hands roam the body he had fantasized about so many times. He couldn't stop his hand from venturing under Squall's shirt, his fingers spreading against the man's soft skin and already tingling from the simple contact.

When Seifer's hand began caressing his oversensitive skin, a soft moan left Squall's parted lips. Unprepared for such a move, he was lost to the blond's gentle touches, his stomach flexing beneath the man's fingers. Brow creasing in pleasure, perplexing arousal spread out from everywhere Seifer's touch met his skin. "Hn... This... is supposed to happen?" he managed uncertainly, disbelief coloring his words.

Humming lowly in response, Seifer moved his hand farther up Squall's chest, exposing pale skin in the process. At the sight of the man's stomach tensing in response to his touches, his eyes darted back to the brunet's face. Every little sign and twitch that betrayed Squall was slowly succumbing to pleasure sent rushes of blood straight to his groin. He needed to feel more of Squall against him. Forcing his knee in between the man's thighs, he pressed closer until he was covering the man, the gratifying friction causing him to let out a low moan.

Startled by the sudden weight pinning him to the bed and the heat emanating from the blond's body, Squall began squirming halfheartedly and placed his hands against Seifer's chest in an attempt to create some distance. "What are you... doing..." he uttered in between pants, the feel of the blond's body pressing into his own making it impossible to string together a decent sentence.

Seifer didn't register Squall's weak signs of protest for long moments, entirely too caught up in the feel of having the smaller man pressed against him. Quickly catching Squall's lower arms, he pressed them into the bedding, forcibly stilling the man's moves; he wasn't about to give up their close contact.

Locking his gaze with Squall's, he lowered himself to be fully molded against the man. As he inched closer, he stole a glimpse of pale lips in anticipation of what he was about to do. At the slight twitch to fine eyebrows, the move betraying Squall's confusion, what was left of his patience abandoned him. The last he saw before pressing his lips to Squall's was the slight widening of gray-blues.

Even as Seifer's mouth descended on his, Squall's mind lagged behind. Lying paralyzed under the effect of the blond's kiss, the act not yet registering as such, his body's reaction came long before any understanding did. Half-formed thoughts of resistance bled from him as hot lips pressed against his own, nipping and coaxing his mouth open with ease. The fading spice to Seifer's strong cologne was invading his senses, the man's warm weight crowding him, but most of all it was the throaty rumble of a moan that lit a fuse deep within him, the sound vibrating through Seifer's chest and spilling into their kiss.

Distantly he realized it shouldn't be acceptable for the blond to touch him in such a way, but he couldn't help himself from reciprocating Seifer's slow paced kiss, each nip and press of moist lips drawing a clumsy countermove from him in return. Revulsion simply failed to form in his mind when all he could feel was arousal, slowly pulling him under.

As he continued kissing Squall, Seifer moved his hands from their constraining hold on the man's slim arms to roam the body beneath him instead. He had imagined touching the brunet so many times, but nothing came close to the reality of having the man pressed against him, willing.

Withdrawing his hips slightly, he paused for a fraction of a second before grinding himself against Squall. At the breathless moan that left the brunet's lips in response, he eagerly repeated the move.

Soon feeling frustrated at the barrier of clothing still between them, he broke their kiss and leaned back to quickly get rid of their shirts. Finding no resistance to what he was doing, he immediately lowered himself to recapture the brunet's lips.

Mimicking the blond's touches, Squall returned the kiss and tentatively brought up his hands to rest at Seifer's sides, registering how ribs expanded with every breath, how well trained obliques and lower back muscles contracted and relaxed as Seifer resumed his rough grinds.

Everything about the body on top of him was unmistakably male. In spite of the lack of stubble, he could clearly feel the roughness of Seifer's skin against his own as he was kissed forcefully. The warm musk of the blond's scent was heavy, more real and intoxicating than lavender perfume would ever be. The hard bulge of Seifer's arousal rubbed against him just right. Unaccustomed to such mind numbing onslaught, his lips slackened to give way to a deep groan.

As large hands roamed his body, their caress just as greedy as the blond's thrusts, Squall sank deeper and deeper, under a thick haze consisting solely of purposeful movement and the burning ache that drove it. On their own accord, his hips arched up from the bed to meet the steadily escalating rhythm of Seifer's grinds.

Returning the blond's skillful play of lips and tongue required a more conscious effort, his mouth stilling in brief surprise each time Seifer swirled his tongue in an interesting new way: along his palate, against the back of his tongue, underneath it, just below the curve of his bottom lip. The slow, hard suck enveloping the tip of his tongue sent aching need straight to his groin, his eyes rolling back in pleasure. He'd never been touched like that before, had never let anyone touch him like that before.

The way hitches of breath left Squall's lips and spilled into their kiss was making Seifer unbearably hard. The slight flush staining high cheekbones and the way gray-blue eyes looked at him when they weren't closed in pleasure didn't help. Groaning, he sped up his moves, his thrusts growing more impatient by the second.

The incessant stimulation quickly became too much for Squall to handle, his body shivering uncontrollably beneath the blond. Swept up by Seifer's intensity, forceful grinding racing him towards his end, he was mounting higher and higher and dangling off a cliff all at the same time, only a free fall away from what he craved. Push me, he felt more than thought, driving short nails deeper into Seifer's shoulders, his arousal throbbing achingly against the coarse material of dark jeans. Turning his head sideways to break away from the blond's hungry mouth, he bit down on his bottom lip harshly, his flushed features starting to contort in ecstasy.

Catching on too late, Seifer slowed down his thrusts to draw out Squall's orgasm. Increasing the pressure of his hips, he let his mouth trail down the taut muscles of the man's neck, slowly sucking, licking, and kissing his way down pale skin. As Squall's hands grabbed hold of his back firmly, seeking better purchase, he tightened his own hold and let out a deep groan when Squall eagerly rolled his hips against him.

The white-edged burn of ecstasy shocked through Squall violently, blurring his vision and drawing a muffled cry from his lips. After convulsing a few times beneath Seifer's hard body in orgasm, he went limp in the man's hold, his arms dropping to the bedcovers and his lips parting to take in a deep, tremulous breath.

Unable to resist the urge, Seifer leant down to place a soft kiss on Squall's lips. Seeing Squall lose himself in such a way left him incredibly turned on. He couldn't wait to have the guy naked beneath him. Pushing back, eager for more, he moved his hands to work on Squall's belt, his eyes unable to break away from the look of post-orgasmic bliss on the brunet's features.

Squall merely regarded Seifer absentmindedly and remained idle against the white sheets, still lost to the afterglow of his climax. Heart hammering in his chest, heavy satisfaction weighed down his limbs, but he'd never felt lighter. Unfamiliar warmth washed over him as he followed Seifer's slow movements and allowed the tugging at his clothes.

Once Seifer had successfully removed Squall's belt, he quickly loosened the man's jeans and pulled them down along with Squall's boxers, only halting when he reached black combat boots. Moments later everything was lying scattered on the bedroom floor, completely forgotten as his eyes traveled Squall's naked body.

The sight was without doubt the sexiest thing he'd ever seen. All lean muscle and pale skin, the come still clinging to dark curls and Squall's soft length only added to the perfection. Sliding his hands up lean things, about to pull the brunet closer, he heard Squall call out his name, the utterance soft and short, demanding his attention.

Successfully luring jade eyes into meeting his gaze, Squall felt a pleasant buzz of warmth spread throughout him at the sight of the fire within their depths, burning for him. He didn't want to let go of that warmth yet, needing to feel more of it. Wanted and wanting. It left his chest aching, an almost painful need driving his stomach in knots and his hands to Seifer's chest. Eyes warm, he pulled the blond down for a kiss, lips and fingers seeking to close all distance remaining between them.

Seifer's jaw slackened in surprise as Squall drew him closer, the brunet's soft lips coaxing his own into returning the kiss. His mind stilled for long moments, buzzing from the intimate contact. Placing a hand against Squall's neck, sliding it upwards slowly, he moved his thumb to caress the younger man's cheek. Minutes passed before he finally broke away to gaze deeply into gray-blues, idly moving his hand from Squall's cheek to the man's side instead.

Squall didn't shy away from the blond's close scrutiny. Without disdain or hatred polluting green eyes, he liked the way Seifer was looking at him. He felt relief at being seen again, instead of just registering as another enemy on the blond's hit list, but more so, he felt relief at no longer seeing demons in Seifer's gaze. As gentle hands stroked his sensitive skin, their calloused touch almost ticklish against his ribs, the profound belief that things would be all right caused a small smile to tug at the corners of his lips.

The rare smile that greeted Seifer rooted him in place. A bittersweet feeling stirred in him at the sight, almost threatening to free the memories that had been temporarily dulled and forgotten, but the tightness in his chest soon passed and a mirroring smile emerged on his lips instead. Indulging in the unexpected moment of tranquility, he committed the image to memory.

Pushing away slightly, he scanned the bed for Squall's shirt. Taking hold of it, he used it to clean up the sticky mess still clinging to pale skin. Squall didn't protest the move, merely peered up at him from beneath drooping eyelids as he finished the task and moved his hands to work on his own pants. With his fly soon undone, he pushed his hands beneath the soft material of his boxers and took hold of his cock.

When it finally sank in what Seifer was doing, Squall started from his daze, his eyes widening slightly as his gaze fell to the blond's large erection. The surface of his calm cracking, excitement welling up from beneath, he instantly remembered the hot press of Seifer's body, a thrilling visual layer now added to what he'd previously only felt.

At the sight of Seifer handling himself, seated between his legs, his cheeks flushed a deep red. Entranced by rippling muscles and heavy breaths, a searing gaze underlining it all, the mere thought of pushing Seifer over the edge was enough to rekindle his own arousal.

Giving in to the pleasure his hand was causing, Seifer closed his eyes, but in the end it wasn't enough: it wasn't Squall's touch. Removing his pants, he dropped them to the floor along with his shoes before looking back up at Squall, his gaze immediately drawn to the man's renewed erection. Seeing the evidence of the brunet's arousal, he hooked his hands under Squall's legs and forcefully pulled the man's ass to his groin.

Unprepared for the rushed movement that forced him onto Seifer's lap, Squall jolted apprehensively at the feel of the blond's cock sliding between the cleft of his buttocks. Only just introduced to the almost intimidating sight of the naked blond, the smooth heat of Seifer's length settling against him in such an intimate place caused his pulse to erupt in fast beats, both in surprise and uncertain anticipation. Eyes closing, he bit down on his lower lip to keep from making a sound, not sure whether he should betray such a touch felt good.

Without warning Seifer moved his hand to close around Squall's cock and set a slow pace as he began stroking the man. Placing his other hand firmly at the base, he trailed his fingers down to cup the man's balls and began massaging them as he kept up his slow rhythmic pumping. When pale lips parted and dark eyebrows drew together in pleasure, Squall's breathing quickly becoming labored, he slid his left hand down to tease the sensitive skin below.

As Squall grew harder in his hold, he licked his lips and moved back a little before bending down to take the tip of the brunet's cock into his mouth. Swirling his tongue around the rim of the sensitive head, he savored the taste. At the gasp that left the brunet in response, he looked up just in time to see gray-blue eyes snapping open in surprise. Keeping his gaze locked with Squall's, he closed his lips firmly around the man's hot shaft before taking in more of the man's length.

The feel of warm lips wrapped around him tightly instantly chased away any remaining coherence from Squall's thoughts, the notion that Seifer should not have his mouth anywhere near his crotch vanishing as the slippery movement and slightly rough texture of the blond's tongue wrung a muffled cry from his throat.

Smirking in satisfaction at the reaction, Seifer distanced himself, the move leaving Squall's cock to slap wetly against his stomach. Enjoying the sight, he had to resist his urge to give Squall a full-on blow job.

"Hold on," he said, moving from his spot between Squall's legs to get out a bottle of lube from the left bedside table. Back in place within seconds, he took hold of the brunet's cock once more and pushed slender legs farther apart.

The sudden drizzle of a cold substance against his crack was the only warning Squall received before warm fingers smeared the lubricant against his entrance. When a single digit started to nudge past the clamping ring of muscle, he couldn't restrain the strangled sound erupting from his lips, his breath hitching in discomfort at the probing finger.

"Squall," Seifer intoned, his voice firm as he tried to draw the brunet's attention. When their eyes met, he tightened his grip around Squall's cock and slowed down his pumping to draw out each pleasurable tug. "Relax."

"It'll feel good," he continued, eager to coax the man into surrendering to his touch. "I promise."

Finding reassurance in the unwavering quality to Seifer's voice, Squall's apprehension at the invading touch slowly faded, the continued petting of his arousal managing to distract him from the finger that forced itself into his body. Seifer hadn't lied to him; everything the man had done so far had felt amazing. Certain that the blond wouldn't disappoint, desperately wanting to experience the full extent of his touch, Squall drew a tremulous breath and gave a small nod.

Smirking, Seifer sent a sly wink and continued to prepare the brunet until the man was panting heavily beneath his touch. Adding another finger, he waited for the man's tight hole to adapt before stretching it further. Turned on by the sight of the brunet's hips tentatively moving into his touch, he closed his eyes and let out a deep groan. Releasing his hold on Squall's erection, he moved his hand to coat his own arousal in slick lube instead.

When the touch hungry fingers roving Squall's body suddenly retracted, a low sound of protest escaped him. Cracking open heavy eyelids to see what had made the blond stop, he took in the sight of Seifer lost to pleasuring himself, before his eyes fell to the man's straining erection. Realization dawning on him all at once, his pulse soared with arousal and trepidation as he tried to imagine what it would feel like to have something that large breach him.

Seifer had to stifle a groan at the sight that greeted him when he opened his eyes. Squall was staring at his erection with rapt attention. With a low growl he hooked his hands beneath Squall's knees and pushed the man's legs upwards. Using his weight to press into the smaller man, he nudged his erection against the brunet's entrance, eager to feel the man's tight heat surround him.

Covering Squall's lips with his own, he transferred all the lust that had built up inside him into their kiss and increased the pressure of his cock against the man's entrance. When he felt Squall lose himself to the act as well, he ended their kiss and moved his head back to leave an inch of tension filled air between them. Seeing nothing but desire mirrored in gray-blues, Squall's gaze urging him on, he forced himself inside.

For a mind choking second, the searing heat that spread throughout his body at being split by the large blond was all that existed to Squall. Momentarily forgetting how to breathe, he pressed his head back into the white pillow, his lips parting in a soundless cry. What should have hurt him was instead the most intense feeling he'd ever experienced, neither registering as pain nor pleasure, just pure adrenaline twisting his mind inside out.

Dropping his head to hang next to Squall's, nestling it against brown locks, Seifer's mind went blank. He could only feeland remain stunned in place at being exactly where he had wanted to be for long hours, his aching need to be inside the brunet finally fulfilled.

Feeling Squall's legs wrap around him and the man's lips pressing to his neck in encouragement, Seifer knew it'd only take a firm thrust or two to send himself straight into the waves of ecstasy. Wanting to savor his climax after the long build up and worried about coming too soon, he fought hard to remain still. But when Squall moved to take in more of him, obviously not prepared to wait for him to regain his control, he lost what little restraint he had left and forced himself in all the way to the hilt. Expression freezing in rough satisfaction, he let out a loud groan and immediately settled into long, forceful thrusts. With each plunge he increased his pace, soon succumbing to grunts and curses, entirely lost to self-gratification.

Startled by the sudden roughness to Seifer's thrusts, Squall tried to channel the incapacitating lust that spiked through him each time the blond almostbrushed against him just right before sliding out again. Train of thought upended, his body winding taut at the indescribable feel of Seifer moving deep within him, he was only granted short moments to adapt to the sensation of being stretched beyond capacity and the harsh plunge of Seifer's cock, before the blond started to cramp up against him, angular features screwing up in an expression of both ache and bliss. Realizing what was happening as he felt Seifer's length twitch inside of him, the man's movements slowly stilling, he remained unmoving, both stunned and painfully aroused.

Hearing nothing but his own breaths, Seifer's mind slowly began clearing, but as another warm pulse traveled along his cock, he was drawn to the slick pressure enveloping him. Dropping his head to rest against cool sheets, he let out a low groan, his lips impacting with soft skin and the familiar scent of Squall joining on his inhale. Wanting to regain their earlier connection, he began nibbling on the soft skin of Squall's neck.

The slow path of agonizingly soft kisses pressed against his neck did nothing to abate the heavy throb of arousal that had settled in Squall's groin. Having Seifer buried within him, unmoving yet so unbearably close to that aching bundle of nerves craving so badly to be touched, was enough to make him lose his mind. He couldn't keep still.

Circling his arms around the blond's sides, hands wandering to memorize the outline of broad shoulders, he drew himself flush against Seifer's chest. Strangely pleased at the low hum of approval this earned him, he let Seifer capture his lips in a kiss. A torturously languid kiss, unhurried and not nearly enough to abate the fire in his blood. Tightening his hold around Seifer's back, he parted his lips in an instinctive need to deepen their kiss.

As their tongues twined and stroked, Seifer brought up a hand to weave through dark bangs. Shifting his position slightly, he relished the heated moan that left Squall at his accidental move inside the man. He'd never been more thankful for managing to stay hard when hands started to roam his back, hungrily drawing him closer. Resisting their pull, he moved back slightly, wanting to see Squall. Greeted by the sight of dark eyebrows scrunching together in a small frown, the man obviously confused by his distancing move, he felt the urge to tease the man.

Lips sliding into a playful half-smirk, he slowly pulled out of Squall, but just as he was about to slide out entirely, he sneaked his hand behind Squall's left leg and placed a steady grip at the crook of the man's knee. Pressing his lower arm against the back of a pale thigh, he forced the brunet's leg down against the man's side. With Squall bared and angled just right for deeper penetration, he pushed back in. Watching as Squall's head fell back into the soft pillow and gray-blue eyes disappeared behind heavy lids, he eagerly repeated the move, his smirk growing.

Squall's mind buckled as Seifer pushed into him, the teasing slide out and forceful thrust back in repeating in a slow cycle, filling him to the brink and chasing the breath from his lungs. Infinitely grateful for the friction raking against him, inside of him, however brief or slow, he was utterly consumed by it. His hands, no longer able to stay locked around Seifer in a tight embrace, traveled to settle against the blond's arms instead, his fingers flexing to greedily grope tanned skin and firm muscle in a mindless want for more.

When Seifer finally settled into a steady rhythm, teasing movement changing into deep thrusts, Squall let out a deep groan, his hips moving on their own accord to encourage the increased pace. Excitement overriding all thought, his hands clenching and unclenching, his body arched to derive as much pleasure as possible from Seifer's. Held into position and pressed into the bedding by solid weight and strength, he had trouble angling himself right. His insides were twisting with searing pleasure, but it wasn't enough. A thin sheen of perspiration settled against his skin, his breathing increasingly labored. Opening his eyes, he sent the clearest order he'd ever given: more.

Instantly understanding what Squall wanted, Seifer angled himself better and leaned farther back to gain more force behind his thrusts, his eyes darkening in lust at the sight of the naked brunet writhing beneath him.

"Squall..." he started, but quickly faltered, reduced to letting out nothing but guttural groans as he increased his speed to try and sate the man. Hooking both of his arms beneath Squall's knees to lift the brunet's hips from the bed, he robbed Squall of any freedom of movement he might have had left and began slamming himself into the younger man relentlessly.

"Fuck," he cursed, the feel of driving Squall so hard causing his fingers to dig deeply into pale skin, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh and the rhythmic creak of the bed beneath them reverberating loudly in the room. Leaning back just a bit farther, he finally managed to get the last purchase necessary in order to plunge into the brunet exactly how they both wanted it. A string made of curses, Squall's name, and deep groans left his lips as his thrusts grew almost feverish, his expression set into a frown of bliss.

Unable to meet such frenzied thrusts with his own, Squall instead arched into the merciless pistoning of strong hips to allow for deeper penetration, his flushed lips parting to moan in wordless pleas for more. Without anything to hold on to as Seifer slammed into him violently, he was being pushed into the bedding ruthlessly and slid back and forth across white sheets in time with Seifer's franticly paced thrusts.

Left no choice in the matter, with Seifer dominating their fevered coupling completely, spearing him relentlessly, he all too soon shuddered in orgasmic abandon beneath the blond, his features contorting in absolute bliss as he cried out Seifer's name.

Watching as hot release landed in white ribbons across Squall's stomach and feeling the man's channel tighten convulsively around his cock, Seifer let out a low groan. With a quick move he forced himself as far into the smaller man as possible, before he reluctantly settled into languid thrusts, allowing Squall to savor his climax. Panting heavily, he leaned down to be closer to the brunet, his lips eagerly finding Squall's to initiate a slow kiss.

Dark strands of hair hopelessly mussed and flushed features glowing with sexual satisfaction, Squall merely returned Seifer's kiss as he brought up his arms to drape around the blond's neck, slender fingers playing with Seifer's fine, golden hair. He'd never felt this sated before, his body manipulated expertly by the blond and glowing in residual ecstasy. It was the kind of simplicity that made all else seem unimportant.

After long minutes filled with nothing but slow kisses, Seifer slid out of Squall unhurriedly and pushed up onto his knees. Without hesitation, he grabbed hold of Squall's previously forgotten shirt and used it to clean them both. Needing to resume their activities, still not sated himself, he moved from between Squall's legs to kneel at the man's side instead.

"Turn around," he ordered, eager to let his eyes feast on the man's backside and take Squall from behind.

At the command spoken in a low voice, Squall felt a shiver run up his spine, more from the thrill such a command implied than any real arousal. Ignoring the first and most crucial warning that had been hammered into his mind since the day he had started his training as a cadet, he turned to lie on his stomach and bared his back in submission. It was easier than it should have been for a seasoned fighter, but all he felt was excitement as he imagined Seifer's gaze raking his backside, green eyes exploring where skillful touch would surely follow.

Eyes trailing along the form of the slender man laid out before him, Seifer enjoyed the sight of well-trained calves and thighs leading to firm ass cheeks. He couldn't help the brief thought that at some point, somethinghe had done must have been right, because how else had he ended up with the sweetest reward of them all: the ice prince of Balamb Garden lying naked before him, ready in wait. Following the curve of Squall's spine, he paused at the shallow dimples at the man's lower back before letting his gaze travel further along naked skin. When his eyes reached Squall's upper back his whole body tensed up; a scar was covering the man's right shoulder blade, spreading far across the brunet's back.

Unsettled at the sight, he subconsciously moved his fingers to trail lightly against the uneven skin, unable to shake the unease growing inside him. He didn't like the thought of Squall having faced such danger without having been there to protect him. Not realizing that such a notion was entirely absurd considering Squall's line of work and their completely separate lives, he merely felt the strong urge to keep the younger man safe.

Determined to make Squall forget all about pain and dispel everything but intense pleasure from the man's mind, he slid his hand down Squall's back and over the man's buttocks, before slowly guiding the man's legs apart. With the tip of his right index finger, he traced the top of Squall's crack and started a downward trail, ending it in slow strokes around his anus. Stopping for a moment to put some lube on his finger, he smirked at the vague arch to Squall's hips; the brunet clearly wanted him to move things along.

Slowly spreading the cold gel against heated skin, he took his time with playful discovery, guiding Squall into unfulfilled expectation, before finally, slowly, sliding the finger in all the way.

Soft moans drew his eyes to where Squall's head was resting on a pillow, the man's eyes closed and eyebrows creased in pleasure. Sliding his finger in and out, teasing the brunet with the smaller size, only a taste of what was to come, he spread the man's ass cheeks, his cock growing rigid at the sight. It took all his willpower to continue his slow seduction instead of just plunging into that warm, slick heat.

Leaning down to place a kiss against the still healing scar tissue between protruding shoulder blades, he inched his finger back out, aiming to heighten Squall's need even further by denying the man anything but the slight pressure of his finger remaining just outside where he knew Squall wanted it.

With playful kisses and bites, he made his way up Squall's neck until his face was buried in a sea of brown. Taking hold of his cock, he guided himself into position and pressed his head against Squall's opening. Forcing himself inside, he felt much less resistance than earlier, the brunet's body accepting him much more readily, taking his whole length in one go.

Grabbing hold of slim wrists, forcing Squall's hands into the bedding in a possessive move, he indulged in the added body contact and settled into a slow rhythm of sliding in and out of the brunet, dragging out each intimate thrust.

Squall relished the feeling of Seifer taking pleasure in his body, every deep thrust conveying the claim the blond had laid on him. He had quickly learned that for someone usually so impatient, Seifer could move at a maddeningly slow pace, both in the skillful preparation of his prey as in his move for the kill. Long moments of nothing but silence and the phantom feel of a searing gaze had already reduced him to a mess of eager anticipation by the time large hands had moved to spread his legs apart. Finally feeling Seifer's length sliding in and out of him, the blond languid and sensual in his every move, a deep groan grew in his chest as he bit down on the pillow beneath him.

It was torturous and perfect at the same time, but he was willing to risk the loss of Seifer pressed close against his back, nuzzling his neck and hair, if he could get fevered thrusts and mindless grappling in exchange. With a forceful arch of his hips he drove Seifer deeper, his muscles and lower back straining at moving back against such a heavy weight pushing him down.

Instantly rewarded when Seifer fell in with his pace, he couldn't keep back a sharp breath and moan, the sounds muffled by the pillow below. Needing more breathing room, more air, he quickly wriggled a hand free from Seifer's strong grasp and knocked the fluffy pillow away, only to immediately move his hand back in place. He liked the possessive hold on his wrist, his body aching for the blond to be equally dominating in his thrusts. The slight increase in speed wasn't enough. His breath was growing labored with exertion as he pushed up against the blond in growing impatience.

"Faster," he managed breathlessly, unable to conjure up enough strength to take what he wanted, but desperate in his need.

At the order, Seifer grabbed hold of Squall's hips roughly and forced the man up with him on the bed. Having Squall on his knees in front of him, he drove into the man without restraint. But even when the brunet's whole body rocked with each of his harsh thrusts, he could still feel the man trying to impale himself, clearly wanting more. Not letting go of Squall's waist, he picked up his speed, determined to take Squall so hard that the man wouldn't be able to feel anything but his cock.

Thrust upon thrust, flesh upon flesh, he lost himself entirely to the act. Pounding away and forcing himself in deep, nothing existed but his frantic rhythm against the younger man. Squall could no longer keep up with him, the man's earlier impatient moves completely gone. There was no resistance to his rough and uncontrolled thrusts, only uninhibited sounds of pleasure merging with the fast paced creaks of the bed and his own low grunts. Using his thumbs to draw reddened cheeks apart, he groaned at the sight of his cock plunging into the brunet's ass.

As ecstasy started to radiate out from their connection, Seifer clenched his jaws and scrunched his eyes closed. Head arched backwards, he let out a deep groan as he felt the first pulse of his climax run through him, his hold on Squall's waist turning almost bruising in its intensity and his vision darkening.

Feeling Seifer climax inside him, jerking in release, a shuddering breath left Squall's lips as all movement stopped, right when he was getting exactly what he wanted. Distantly he understood that the blond's orgasm meant he'd have to wait, but impatience rendered him incapable of such a feat. Robbed of any tolerance he might have had left, he kept himself pressed close to the blond's groin, unwilling to give up the connection and feel Seifer slide out of him. His erection painfully hard, his ass throbbing and sensitive, he couldn't help from rolling his hips back.

Stifling a frustrated groan, he moved up to lean against Seifer and craned his neck back, forcing his lips against the blond's in a messy kiss. With an edge of desperation, he devoured Seifer's mouth in a hopelessly inadequate attempt to vent the fire racing through his lower body, his breath landing heavy against slick lips. When strong arms snaked around his waist, holding him close, he lost all sense of restraint. Greedily, he brought his hands back to grasp Seifer's hips, fingers digging harshly into toned muscle as he gave in to the powerful urge to move.

Squall's eager moves told Seifer everything he needed to know. Wanting to continue as well, but already growing soft inside Squall, he broke their kiss and pulled out. Collapsing onto his side, his body exhausted, he couldn't help but run his eyes over the brunet kneeling next to him. The sight of Squall naked and aroused, clearly wanting more and wanting it now made him smirk in amusement. He couldn't wait to fuck Squall senseless all over again, but for the moment he'd have to content himself with just playing with the brunet.

Gaze traveling upwards along the blond's reposed body and landing on a devilish smirk, Squall forgot to voice his frustration. Seifer knew what he wanted, but remained still, watching him in amusement. Bathed in blue light, soft shades outlining well defined muscle, the blond was masculinity personified, but it wasn't envy that stirred in him. Instead a much headier emotion took over. He would take matters into his own hands; he would take what he wanted from Seifer.

Moving in over his ex-rival and taking firm hold of his shoulders, he forcefully pushed the larger man onto his back, excitement shooting through him at what he was doing. Not waiting around for the blond to either protest or accommodate him, he straddled the man's strong hips in one fluid motion, his hands moving down to press against Seifer's chest. As he slid his crack along the blond's soft length, sensitive muscles clenching at the slight touch, his own chest heaved with tight breaths.

Angling his groin, his back tensing into a taut arch, he tried to create as much friction as possible. With hungry moves he grew uncoordinated in his lust and writhed against Seifer's body, experimenting with what touch felt the most gratifying- muscled thighs, the feel of their balls touching, the smooth and sticky skin of Seifer's length against his own hardness.

Entirely turned on by the way Squall moved against him, Seifer grabbed hold of the man's buttocks and kneaded them firmly before spreading them apart. Still not hard enough to fuck Squall again, he started to pull at the man's hips until Squall got his intention and scooted closer. Guiding the man into position, he only stopped when Squall's arousal was right in front of him.

Angling his head upwards, he gave the straining erection a teasing lick. At the slight swelling of Squall's cock, the tip turning a deep red, he felt his own length twitch in response. Bringing his right hand up to cup the man's balls, he took the head of the brunet's hard cock into his mouth and sealed his lips around the flushed skin. Assaulted by the pure smell of Squall's manhood and the lingering taste of his come, a deep rumble reverberated in his chest, the scent and taste a massive turn on.

Sneaking his fingers further back to tease the sensitive area around Squall's entrance, he began sucking off the brunet eagerly. Pushing a finger inside, he felt Squall's cock twitch in his mouth and salty precome leak from the man's tip. The natural lubricant of his earlier come and whatever remnants of lube that still coated the inside of Squall quickly covered his finger and made pleasuring the brunet all the easier. Sliding in another digit, he began finger fucking the brunet without restraint, aiming his thrusts to hit the man's prostate.

Unable to keep himself upright through the pleasurable assault without some form of purchase, Squall placed steadying hands against the wall to keep from collapsing on top of the blond. He couldn't fight the slight tremors rippling through his thighs and legs, his arousal soaring as Seifer made it impossible for him to choose between rolling his hips back or forwards. Glancing down to take in what he hadn't been able to appreciate before, his chest and groin tightened as he watched his length slide in and out of Seifer's mouth, the blond's cheeks drawn concave with each firm suck. An almost inaudible groan left him at the sight, his eyes narrowing with heavy desire; he was entirely unable to tear away from the arousing display.

Even in this position, one that should have left him in control of the blond reclined beneath him, Seifer manipulated the situation with dangerous ease. Squall hardly cared as skillful fingers stabbed into him, not as thick and deep as the blond's cock, but purposeful and precise and curling at just the right angle. The combined stimulation was more than his aching body could handle, his climax burning a violent path throughout his lower body and pulsing into Seifer's mouth with a jerking roll of his hips. The visual of the slight bob to Seifer's throat as the man swallowed his release was quickly replaced with searing white, his eyes scrunching closed in ecstasy and his sensitive length reveling in the slick tongue that swirled around him languidly.

As the final wave of his orgasm receded, the last of his strength left him, lazy satisfaction spreading throughout limbs that could no longer support him. Breathing labored, he only barely managed to move down Seifer's chest, before his legs buckled under his own weight and he crumpled against the blond inelegantly. Tugging his arm free from between the close press of their bodies, he let his head sag against Seifer's warm chest and closed his eyes in contentment.

Sweaty skin stuck together at every single point of contact, Seifer took a deep breath as he moved his arms to hold on to the brunet resting on top of him. Guiding a hand into messy brown locks, stroking the back of the man's neck and head, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment. As a soft breath of air ghosted across his chest, he tightened his hold on the younger man and began caressing the brunet's back idly.

He could easily have fallen asleep like that, with the smaller man's form curled up all around him, if it hadn't been for the renewed throb between his legs. Even as he enjoyed their shared intimacy, his need to press inside Squall soon won out and made him roll them over on the bed. Moving in to kiss Squall, he enjoyed the soft presses and intimate licks.

Spreading Squall's legs, he settled between them, before locating the bottle of lube from earlier and coating his erection. Without warning, he forced himself inside and leaned down against Squall, wanting to feel as much of the brunet as possible. Recapturing soft lips, he languidly thrust in and out of the man, the experience far removed from the mindless fucks he was used to.

Heavy eyelids drooping as he lay perfectly sated, too spent to meet Seifer's moves with more than the occasional slow push of his hips, Squall drew his arms around the blond in a loose embrace and curled his legs around the man's waist once more. Without lust clouding his mind, he simply enjoyed Seifer's unhurried thrusts for the closeness that the act brought them. He was perfectly happy to let Seifer weave them together tightly, his consciousness drifting on the warmth of Seifer's body slowly melting into his.

Seifer felt everything as he kept sliding in and out of Squall: the soft press of the man's lips against his own, the hitching breaths intermingling with their kisses, the slick heat around his cock, and the warmth of any part of them that touched; it all merged into perfect bliss.

When his climax finally hit him, it was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. His whole body was tingling, every single part of him buzzing in ecstasy. Nothing else existed-nothing but himself and the man in his arms. Tilting his head to press lightly against Squall's, their scars aligning perfectly, he closed his eyes.

As he came down slowly, he took a deep breath and exhaled, his breath spilling across Squall's parted lips. He didn't want it to end. He didn't want to move or break their connection, but debilitating tiredness was beginning to spread throughout every part of his body. Catching himself as he almost drifted off, he inhaled deeply once more and finally resigned himself to slide out of Squall. Landing heavily on the bed next to the slim man, he moved to rest on his side.

Even with exhaustion dulling his eyes, he still felt the need to be close. Reaching over and placing his arm across Squall's stomach, he took hold of the man's waist and motioned for the brunet to move onto his side and face him. When Squall complied, Seifer contentedly drew him close, the smaller man's arm winding around him tightly in return. Keeping his gaze trained on the pale brunet, gray-blue eyes already closed in the beginnings of sleep, his lips curled upwards at the unguarded display.

Still not ready to succumb to the tiredness overwhelming him, he blinked a few times in quick succession to keep sleep from pulling his eyes closed, but in the end fatigue got the better of him, his eyes remaining shut. Lost to the pleasant imagery weaving through his fading thoughts, his breath evened out as he was lured further and further into enticing dreams, alongside the brunet in his hold.



A/N: So... apparently Seifer and Squall turn to mush when on Avalanche. Who would've thought? Hope you survived it! :3 And don't worry, there won't be much mush around for a while to come, just some good old angsty fun.

For those interested, during the RP, Wolkje didn't have a clue what Squall was in for until after he took the pill (she's the one in charge of Squall). I think she nearly had a heart attack upon finding out the pill's effects (and I was still recovering from mine at Squall taking the pill in the first place). After calming down a bit, her words were: 'argh, I keep skimming over the effects, and can't help but think Squall's thoroughly screwed: inner-peace, euphoria, self-acceptance, hightened sensory input, hypersexuality, energy...' Screwed indeed :3 Not a cocktail meant for Squall... at least he had Seifer to help him through it ;) (and in my defense, I'd made the list far in advance of Squall possibly taking the pill, so no cheating was involved :3)

On another note, sorry for the delay on this chapter! We've been waiting to get it back from our beta, but she's been incredibly busy, so in the end we just decided to post it. Hope it's decent :) It was definitely a tough chapter to write. Took months to edit and we've scrutinized it to hell and back more than once. We really, really hope you like it! Please review and tell us what you think! Oh and William, your guesses were good! :3 Avalanche was based on a mix between MDMA and an aphrodisiac ;)

09/04/2011: This chapter has been updated to include the changes suggested by our beta--thank you Aera!





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