Leather Pants

BY : mizperceived
Category: Final Fantasy VII > Threesomes/Moresomes
Dragon prints: 1082
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or settings therein from Final Fantasy VII. I do not make any profit from this endeavor.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or settings therein from Final Fantasy VII. They are the sole creative property of SquareEnix. I do not make any profit from this endeavor. I do however own my insanity and perversity.

Title: Leather Pants

Warnings: Yaoi… That be man on man lovings… *checking* Yep definitely still a good time had by all! OCC-ness, AU-ish, language, bad jokes as usual, Reno, oh and some spanking, light bondage… the usual.

Pairing: Sephiroth/Zack/Reno/Cadet!Cloud and some leather pants. (Don't ask… just read it, yo!)

Summary: Nothing good could ever come from a prank Zack and Reno pull when they're bored. Well, that's what Cloud used to think.


"Oh GAIA! I'm so fuckin' boreddddddddd," Reno whined as he plunked down on the couch. Cloud looked up from his mound of homework with a hesitant smile on his face.

This was an almost nightly routine. Cloud would come over to Zack's apartment after classes let out so that he could get his homework done. Reno would come home as soon as his shift ended regardless of the time and Zack would arrive sometime between 1600 and 1800 hours, unfortunately that meant bringing paper work home with him.

"Why not try to get some of your reports done, Reen?"

"Zack, when have you ever seen Reno do any paperwork?"

"Shaddap Blondie," Reno smirked while flipping off his dark haired lover.

It should be noted that Zack and Reno had been together since almost around the time that they both joined ShinRa a couple of years ago but they had more of an open relationship. It couldn't be helped when Zack fancied himself in love with Angeal during his days as a 3rd and 2nd Class SOLDIER and Reno had a torrid on again and off again relationship with Rufus Shinra for a long time.

Recently things had settled down between the two, some would say that it had a lot to do with the addition of Cadet Cloud Strife into the fold. The petite blonde caused a shift in the dynamic in one of the most gossiped about relationships in all of ShinRa. He seemed to calm Zack's hyperactive behavior and at the same time managed to keep Reno in line… sometimes.

Sometimes, bad boys just had to be bad boys.

"Zack, I have a question," Cloud announced as he put his pen down in his text book marking the chapter he was reading.

"What's up?"

"Well, today in history class we were discussing the history of Wutai and what General Sephiroth is doing there now and what he has accomplished in the past. Wh-what I was wondering, well… what makes him so awesome?" Cloud gushed.

Reno rolled his eyes at Cloud's obvious hero-crush on Sephiroth. Letting the conversation go on around him, Reno turned on the tv to check the latest sports scores.

Zack looked up at Cloud's question. It was a relatively simple one and a simple answer would suffice but he knew that the blonde was something of a worrier. If the cadet knew exactly all of the Mako treatments Zack had to endure over the years, the blonde would pack his shit up and start walking back to Nibelheim immediately.

Sephiroth on the other hand, his treatments were worse and rumor had it that he wasn't quite human. Zack couldn't let the cadet know of this whether it was just speculation or not. No, instead he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind as an image of the General splashed on the tv, news from Wutai was upcoming after the next commercial break.

"It's his pants. The leather pants."

Reno's head snapped to the side so suddenly that his ponytail ended up whipping him in his face. He looked at Zack as if the man was smoking pure Costa Del Solian blend.

"The… pants… Wow," Cloud breathed as he looked at the tv in awe. Reno looked at his youngest lover with something akin to shock. 'He really can't be that kinda dumb blonde… can he?' Reno thought.

While Cloud was distracted with soaking up all of the news of his crush, Reno and Zack started a non verbal argument. There were lots of scathing and beseeching looks as well as wild hand gestures before Reno finally backed down and sighed audibly. Zack gave the redhead a stunning and happy smile before turning back to his reports.

Reno sat there and started mulling over what Zack said. He didn't agree with the way Zack coddled Cloud, his belief was that no good could come of it. The business that all of them were in was not conducive for sugar coating things. Anything could happen to any one of them and Cloud could quite possibly be left alone. It wasn't something Reno liked to think about but he had to point out to Zack that there was that chance.

Seeing this as another sugar coated issue, Reno let his mental gears whirl. Zack needed to cut the shit and this was a perfect opportunity to do so.


"Huh?" Zack asked as he looked up from his laptop.

"Nothing, nothing." Reno responded as he bit his thumb, a look of serious concentration crossing his features.

"Must be thinking about something, I think I see smoke!"

"Good one Spike!"

"Hey! Don't encourage him," Reno sneered at Zack before winking at Cloud. "Anyway, I have a great idea and a way to ease this boredom," he said as he got up to walk into the bedroom.

Zack and Cloud looked at each other, mirroring their puzzled looks. It was barely a minute before Reno reappeared in the living room with a small pouch in his hands. He grabbed his pack of cigs off the end table before heading towards the door.

"Where… where are you going?"

Reno turned around and arched a brow at Cloud.

"I'm gonna steal tha source of Sephiroth's powah. I'm going to steal his leather pants."

At that moment the lights flickered on and off as a lightening bolt cracked ominously across the sky.

"You… you can't!" Zack yelled as he pushed his laptop off his lap and on to the seat cushion next to him.

"Really?" Cloud asked in awe.

"I can and I am. Ya wanna join me Blondie? Zack?"

"Reno. Seriously," Zack walked over to pull the redhead aside to speak privately. Instead the redhead shrugged off Zack's grip on his shoulder.

"No Zack, ya want ta continue bullshittin Cloud go ahead but not on this. Sephiroth's powah source is his pants? What fuckin' malarkey. Everyone knows it's from his trench coat. Duh."

Cloud hesitantly got up and approached the bickering duo.

"Won't we… I mean… is it possible we could get in trouble?"

"Naw Cloudy. Seph is still on a mission ta Wutai. Ya saw it yaself on tha news. 'Sides, no one and I mean NO ONE got betta breakin and enterin skills than me. Ain't that right buttacup?"

Zack looked at Reno and blushed slightly. The memory of Reno breaking into Angeal's apartment so many nights, well after curfew and never getting caught washed over him.

"He is the best," Zack grinned.

"So, we're really going to do this?" Cloud giggled as he saw the sparkle in both his lovers' eyes.

"Oh ya, now… here's tha plan," Reno said as he threw his arms around the blonde and brunette and walked them over to the kitchen table. Now that he had two others to look out for, he would treat this like a mission.


Reno had went ahead and made detailed plans for the heist. Between Zack and Reno a complete map of Sephiroth's apartment was rendered and copied for all three men. The precision of the maps were something to be applauded, even if they were drawn in various colors of crayons. The Turk even went as far as heading to his office a few floors up to get some much needed items for this mission. He had acquired tactical throat mics for them to use to communicate back and forth as well as camo face paint.

Cloud questioned the need for the face paint since the mission would begin precisely at midnight, but his protesting ended quickly when he saw how much fun Zack and Reno were having making silly designs on each other.

"Ok men, ya have ya orders. Any last questions?"

"Uhm. I do," Cloud said as he raised his hand.

Zack rolled his eyes and pushed the blonde's hands down as he shared a caring but exasperated look with the redhead.

"What is it?"

"Why are we doing this at midnight?"

"Yeah, good question. Why are we Reno?" Zack chimed in.

"Wow. And I thought havin ta partner up with Cissnei was bad. Yo, security team switches shifts at exactly midnight. Ya got a winda of approximately five-point-two minutes to get in without bein detected. If we're seen leavin the apartment, they won't think anythin' of it. Its tha gettin' in that's tricky ya feel me?"

Zack nodded his head while makes sounds that could be construed as an agreeance. Cloud on the other hand just gave the Turk and their mission leader a short but quick nod.

"Men, synchronize watches," Reno said as they all pulled out their cell phones to check the time. "Mission to commence in three, two… Go!"


The trio slunk out of Zack's apartment and started the long and arduous journey towards Sephiroth's apartment.

Reno watched as Zack moved towards Sephiroth's door.

"See! I told you it was literally a hop, a skip and a jump," Zack beamed.

"Idiot," Reno muttered while Cloud giggled slightly. "Ok now that we have arrived at the target's sight, lets get crackin, yo."

Cloud assumed the position of look out while Zack hovered over Reno watching everything the redhead did. Reno took out his lock picking tools and set to work on breaking into Sephiroth's apartment.


"What? What's wrong?" Cloud cried.

"This gahdamn lock. Itsa ShinRa TurboTitan X3000 Platinum edition. Fuck me running," Reno groaned.

"A whawhozewhat?" Zack asked as he scratched the back of his head.

"I think he means its something he can't break into," Cloud chuckled.

Reno glared momentarily at Cloud before looking up at the ceiling. There somewhat towards the right he saw his saving grace. Standing straight, he positioned Cloud directly under the air vent.

"Aight Cloudy-boy ya needa gimme a boost," Reno said as he put his hands on Cloud's shoulders, expecting the blonde to cup his hands together.

"Uhm, Reno…"


Cloud turned Reno around to watch Zack as he slipped Sephiroth's spare keycard out of his wallet.

"You… you had that the entire time?"

"I forgot!"

"For… got? Why I oughta!"

"GUYS!" Cloud hissed as his squeezed himself between his boyfriends. "Lets just get this over with. By the way, why do you have a key to Sephiroth's apartment?"

"I'm supposed to water his plants while he's deployed," Zack supplied as he opened the General's door.

Cloud grabbed onto Zack's shirt as he followed him in. His big blue eyes got bigger as he entered the private domain of his hero and crush.

"Yo, I think ya forgot ta waddah them eh?" Reno said as his picked up a wilted fern leaf.

"Shiiiit," Zack groaned.

Reno ignored the whining and instead went to the room Cloud presumed was Sephiroth's bedroom.

"Hey guys…"

"Yeah babe?" Zack answered.

"How is it that you two know the layout of this apartment? I mean," Cloud said as he looked down at the hand drawn map and back up at the walls, "it's spot on."

"Uhh… well…"

"I'll answer this one, Zacky," Reno said as Cloud looked at him expectantly. "It's personal," the redhead winked as he turned on his heel and headed into the bedroom. Once inside he turned on his throat mic and gave orders to his accomplices. Zack would take up position in the bedroom by the closet. Reno was in charge of the armoire and dresser while Cloud was to handle anything under the bed.

Within ten minutes the three had ransacked all of Sephiroth's clothing and were in various states of dress and undress.

Zack ended up shirtless but wearing a spare trench coat of Sephiroth's complete with the pauldrons. Reno confiscated a pair of leather pants and was currently shimming into them. Sephiroth might have been larger than the Turk but the pants were definitely skin tight on both of them. Cloud was happy with his Sephiroth treasure as he stomp all through the apartment in the legendary SOLDIER's trademark above the knee boots. Sadly, where Cloud was much much shorter than the Ice General, the man's boots practically reached Cloud's groin.


The Demon of Wutai emerged from the blackness of the elevator down the hall. The mission had been a bloody and brutal battle and all Sephiroth craved at this hour was a hot shower and his clean 2000 TC Mideelian Cotton sheets wrapped around him in his massive bed.

He paused in his stride as he mentally added one more craving to his check list. He was definitely adding some personal time in the shower.

As Sephiroth approached his apartment he noticed the door was slightly ajar. Reaching behind him he went to unsheathe Masamune but then remembered that he dropped it off in his office armory. The weapon needed a proper cleaning and honing that he would perform in the morning. He took a sick pleasure in cleaning the overly long sword in front of his subordinates that had been called in for disciplinary action.

Sephiroth muscled the door open as silently as he could. His eyes, already used to the darkened hallway, needed little time to adjust to see and scan his domain. Nothing looked to be missing from his hallway and living room, but as he turned toward the couch he saw something very odd. His boots were sticking up from the couch, the soles pointing in the air.

As he silently rounded the leather sectional he noted that the boots were covering shorts legs that were attached to a Chocobo printed boxer-brief that led up to a lean pale chest that was connected to arms that were haphazardly sprawled on the floor. Up from the torso was the face of a cherub with spiky golden hair.

"Fanboy," he growled lowly.

He was just about to toe the unconscious teenager when he picked up sounds coming from his bedroom. His eyes widened slightly in distress as he turned from the body on the floor and swiftly crossed the room to the bedroom.

The door was wide open but Sephiroth blended in with the shadows, remaining unseen as he watched what was going on in his bedroom.


"C'mere yo," Reno cooed as Zack spun to look at himself in the floor to ceiling mirror… again.

Zack turned around and watched as Reno's hand dipped inside the second skin the leather had created. Reno bit his bottom lip as he stroked his fingers lightly over his growing erection.

"Memba the last time we was in here?"

Zack slowly crawled up from the foot of the bed as Reno scooted back up towards the headboard until he was in a sitting position.

"Mhm. It went something like this, only we're missing the main player," Zack whispered as he knocked Reno's hands out of the way and started tugging the pants down the redhead's frame.

"Cloudy could fill in,' Reno murmured as he started playing with Zack's hair while the ravenette began showering kisses along the pale flesh before him.

Zack looked up at Reno, Mako blue eyes dancing with merriment met sly turquoise eyes before both began laughing at the thought.

"You should know by now that no one could ever replace me," a deep voice drawled from the shadows.

Zack scrambled off of the bed in a panic, pulling the leather coat closed over his naked form. The Turk on the other hand just turned his head slightly too where he perceived the voice was coming from. Narrowing his eyes he began to explicitly stroke his stiffened cock.

"Too true Sephykins. No one ever can give it as good as you do, yo" Reno moaned, having squeezed harder on his cock.

Sephiroth stepped out of the shadows and glared slightly at the men, his nostrils flaring slightly.

"What a pleasant surprise to come home too," he drawled as he crowded towards Zack. Taking his gloved hand, he stroked the young SOLDIER's jaw. "Tell me Zack. Does that blonde…"

"Cloud," Zack whispered, entranced by Sephiroth's nearness.

"Cloud," Sephiroth repeated, letting the name glide through his mind. "Does he belong to you?"

"Us," Reno said as he crawled towards the edge of the bed to get close to the couple.

Sephiroth turned and narrowed his eyes at the Turk.

"Well then. He must suffer the punishment for breaking into my apartment with you two."

Before Zack or Reno could protest, Sephiroth moved with an unholy speed. In a matter of seconds he had both men pinned onto the bed, restrained.


"Dammit, forgot about the fuckin' chains," Reno growled as he tested the manacle around his left wrist, Zack started tugging on the one holding his right wrist.

Sephiroth stood back away from the bed and smirked slightly before peeling off his gloves and throwing them on the floor so that they mingled with Reno and Zack's discarded clothing. Without uttering a word he turned around and walked out of the bedroom, returning a moment later with a high back chair from his dining room.

"Seph…" Zack said cautiously.

Sephiroth arched a brow at Zack's tone not deigning to respond otherwise. He waited another moment before leaving the room again.

"Yo, Zacky whatcha think he got planned?"

"I-I dunno Reen but this ain't good. I mean, he never chained both of us up for punishment. It was always you," Zack smirked as Reno tried to kick him in the shin.


Sephiroth slowly approached the sleeping teenager in the living room. While studying Cloud, the General began the task of unbuckling his long leather coat and removing it, tossing it carelessly on one of the empty seat cushions. Next he unhooked and removed his 1st Class stomach guard and chest straps. He leaned down and undid the straps on his boots and slide them off, curling his toes into the plush carpet.

Half expecting the creaking of the leather to disturb the blonde, Sephiroth leaned down to scrutinize the cadet's features. He was cute and Sephiroth felt a disturbing need to wake the teen up just too see what color his non-Mako eyes were.

Sephiroth unceremoniously shoved the cadet's boot clad legs off of the couch, letting them fall to the floor with a muffled thud. Sephiroth watched cautiously as the blonde muttered in his sleep but didn't wake.

Realizing he was wasting time, Sephiroth decided to get to the point and straddled the sleeping form, letting his long hair fall around him as he pressed his nose against the blondes.

"WAKE THE FUCK UP CADET!" he bellowed. Cloud immediately reacted and bolted up right, colliding with a solid mass in front of him.

"Stupid ass what the hell is your… your… you're not Zack or Reno," Cloud stammered as he saw who he smacked into.

"No I'm not, Goldilocks," Sephiroth sneered as he tugged Cloud up to a standing position and marched him towards the bedroom.

"S-sir, I c-can explain," Cloud panted. He felt a panic attack coming on. They got caught, well at least he did. He hoped that Zack and Reno didn't leave him behind. This wasn't good.

Cloud thoughts were scrambled when he was pushed into the bedroom and landed against the bed. He looked up and saw his two boyfriends chained to the bed, their free hands grabbing each other as their lips and tongues were nipping and licking each other.

Sephiroth locked the door after he shoved the blonde into the room. Turning around he wasn't as surprised as Cloud was by the spectacle. Reno and Zack could never be in the same room with each other for very long without having their hands on each other in some way. Whether it was guided by lust, love or hate, they ended up touching.

"Reno. Zack," Sephiroth said as he dragged the chair he brought in earlier towards the bed and sat down on it.

"Legal," Zack said between nibbling on Reno's ear.

"Barely," Reno added with a smirk as his hand roamed down Zack's torso to encircle his throbbing erection.

"G-guys," Cloud nervously stammered as he felt heat crawl up his spine.

"Well then, gentlemen, what shall his punishment be for breaking and entering into someone, a superior's, private residence?"

"Fuck," Zack groaned as he grinded his hips into Reno's palm.

"Maybe later," Sephiroth smirked and the blonde squeaked.

"Seph, he likes… mmm… he likes how Zack gets punished," Reno murmured with a wicked gleam in his eye.

"Is that so?"

Cloud didn't stand a chance as an arm snaked out to wrap around his waist, pulling him tight to the General.

"It seems, pet, that you are overdue for a spanking," Sephiroth whispered in Cloud's ear before manhandling the petite blonde over his lap. Sephiroth ripped the undergarments off of the blonde, the smooth pale skin rubbing across taught leather pants.

Cloud protested nearly begging for the slaps not to occur but his pleas fell upon deaf ears as the first slap cracked the air.

Zack and Reno watched as Sephiroth's hand relentlessly connected with the pale flesh of Cloud's ass.

After two slaps, the General rubbed his palm over the two reddened cheeks, soothing the burning flesh.

"Zack, the nightstand," Sephiroth said smoothly as he watched the young SOLDIER shift and remove two tubes from the drawer.

"Seph?" Zack asked nervously.

"Prepare yourselves," he said as he raised his hand to catch one of the tubes tossed to him. "You all will pay for your transgressions. Understood?"

Cloud wriggled a bit on Sephiroth's lap, he was watching Zack and Reno fondle each other while Sephiroth slapped and massaged him and couldn't help the erection the sensation produced.

Sephiroth caught the tube of lubricate and placed it into Cloud's hand as he bent over to speak privately with the cadet.

"Tell me, Cloud, do you feel as if you've been sufficiently punished. Or, do you crave more?"

The sensation of his bare ass being smacked, the blood rushing to skin heating it then the coolness of the air rushing over it as the General rubbed in circles combined with watching Reno and Zack touch each other more intimately caused Cloud to hiss in pleasure.


Sephiroth was pleased with the Cadet's obvious reaction, soon he wouldn't be able to hide exactly how pleased he was but he would prolong this as much as he could.

"Please… what, Cadet?" he asked as his hand landed heavily on a moonlight ass cheek.

Zack had maneuvered him and Reno so that the Turk was underneath him. There was enough slack in the chains that they could move almost freely on the bed, just not use their dominant hands. At the sound of another slap hitting Cloud's bottom, Zack bucked harshly into Reno's unforgiving grip on his member as he pushed the redhead's legs farther apart, trailing his lubricated left hand down to the tight ring of muscles, circling it with a finger before Reno bore down onto it, causing the digit to thrust in.

Cloud's mewling sounds filled the air in between the sounds of hand slapping skin and the moans of the men writhing together on the bed.

Two more quick slaps and Sephiroth was back to rubbing the abused flesh, when Cloud shifted this time he gasped in disbelief, he was able to feel the distinct hardness of Sephiroth's covered erection.

"Cloud that is enough for now. Here, slick my fingers so that we can move on to the next stage," Sephiroth commanded.

Cloud eagerly poured a bit of lube on the silver man's fingers and watched as he rubbed the digits together.

"Watch them, Cadet."

Cloud did just that as he felt Sephiroth's fingers skim over his ass to delve between his ass to find his puckered hole. The blonde groaned and rotated his hips as he felt the finger slide deep inside him.

Sephiroth easily began to thrust two fingers inside the blonde, stretching him. The General felt the blonde's nails dig into his leg as he scraped his fingers across the cadet's prostrate.

Much too soon for Cloud he felt himself being righted off of the General's lap to stand on his own two feet.

Reaching around the blonde's torso, Sephiroth wrapped his slicked fingers and hand around the protruding erection while he whispered instructions in the blonde's ear.

"Get on the bed and unlock their shackles," he murmured as he gave one last slap to Cloud's ass.

Sephiroth waited until Cloud was centered on the bed and both Reno and Zack were unrestrained before he stood up and approached the bed. Standing at the foot of the bed he looked at Reno and began unbuckling his pants.

Reno followed the unspoken command and crawled towards the General, already licking his lips in eager anticipation. Zack immediately positioned Cloud on his back, the blonde's head facing Sephiroth. The brunette looked at the redhead and General, a silent plan forming between the three.

Reno quickly pulled apart the leather pants before him and shucked them down the pale muscular legs. Sephiroth's heavy length, once freed bobbed and twitched as it came in contact with plush rosy lips.

Zack waited until he saw Reno swallow down Sephiroth's length before pushing into the stretched hole of his blonde lover. This was all about timing.

Zack shifted his hips as he started a steady rhythm between him and Cloud. Once they were set, he reached out to tug on Reno's ponytail, signaling for the redhead to move.

Reno turned around on all fours but placed himself over Cloud, the Turk's erection rubbing across the blonde's lips. Sephiroth ran his hands up and down Reno's sides before he spread apart the redhead's thighs and slowly entered him.

"Ohh fuucckk. That's so hot," Cloud moaned as he watched Sephiroth fuck Reno from underneath their joined bodies. Cloud felt Reno's cock rub against his lips and opened his mouth to allow the length to glide in and out in time with Sephiroth's strokes.

Reno laid down further on top of Cloud and switched from licking the blonde's length to jerking him off fiercely as they were both being fucked. Sephiroth felt Reno tighten up around him and pounded into the Turk, hitting the sweet spot each time. Reno arched his back as he spilled his seed down Cloud's throat.

Sephiroth stilled inside of Reno, letting the Turk's heart beat slow down as he pulled out slowly. Sephiroth backed up and sat back down on the chair, watching Zack drive his cock deep inside the cadet.

"You are not allowed to cum SOLDIER," Sephiroth commanded as he slowly stroked his cock up and down.

Zack's body began vibrating with the need to release as he felt Cloud clench around his length.

"That's an order," Sephiroth said as he stared down Zack. Reno sensing what Sephiroth wanted reached out and tightened his fist painfully around the base of Zack's cock as he drilled into Cloud. The blonde was feeling sensory overload as both of his boyfriend's hands and bodies were on him. Zack pummeling deep inside him and Reno's hand wrapped around his cock as the Turk licked his own spilled cum off of the blonde's lips.

Cloud's cry of ecstasy broke through the silence of the room and Sephiroth shuddered as the sweet sound washed through him.

Zack slowed down after Cloud's release, the brunette back bowed and his head hanging down. He knew it was his turn for punishment.

"Zachary," was the only word Sephiroth needed to utter and Zack was in motion. He pulled out of Cloud with a hiss and edged around the bodies sprawled on the bed until he scooted off the bed to stand before his General.

"C'mere yo," Reno whispered as he pulled Cloud to rest against his chest. Reno sat with his back against the headboard, Cloud leaning back against his chest, both men well satiated. Smoothing golden spikes away from a sweaty forehead, Reno bent down to speak into Cloud's ear, "this is how we know tha apartment so well, and I gotta feelin you will too now."

Cloud's head snapped up and looked at Reno who quickly placed a kiss on the pouty lips before turning the younger man's head around to watch Zack get impaled by the Great General turgid length until both men came.


Sephiroth lay sprawled on his massive bed, Reno snuggled into his left side while Zack was hogging the blankets on his right. It was just like old times, before his six month long deployment. Then again, it changed a bit he thought as he looked down his chest at the crest of golden spikes that was lightly snoring as the owner rested on top of him.

"Missed you, yo."

"I missed you too, both of you," Sephiroth replied. "Do I want to know why I found the three of you in my apartment tonight?"

"Zacksaidyourpantsispowerful," the spikes mumbled as Sephiroth gently ran his hands up and down the blonde's spine.


"I said it was your trench coat, yo," Reno yawned as he snuggled closer and draped and arm around Cloud's waist.

Sephiroth turned to peer at Zack to see if he would add anything to the conversation but he let out a loud snore and turned on his side. Sephiroth chuckled lightly as he violently pulled some of the covers back from the SOLDIER's death grip.

"Well, what have you learned?" the General asked.

"What's in your pants is really the source of your power," Cloud said as he looked up at Sephiroth and planted a kiss on his lips.

A/N: I know, I know. I'm insane.

Boys? Would you like to help with this one?

Reno: Read this shit yo!

Sephiroth: Obviously they are reading if they have reached this part.

Reno: *sticks his tongue out at Sephiroth*

Sephiroth: Don't do that unless you intend to use it.

*watches Reno tug Sephiroth out of the chair and into the back room* *sigh*

Zack: Uhm. My turn? Right! Leave a review! Kay Spiky, your turn!

Cloud: But… I…

Gah… I asked for Cadet!Cloud not Emo!Cloud!

Cloud: *scowls*

Rufus: Leave it to a real man. Tseng! Finish this!

Not even going to comment on that.

Tseng: *reads from a script* Vote up this epic piece of literary wonder… what the hell is this?

Rufus: At least it's not LOVELESS.

Tseng: True.

Genesis: Take that back!

*watches Genesis chase Tseng and Rufus as Zack consoles Cloud in his emo corner*

Hojo: Someone call for a real man?

Well… science is sexy.


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