So This Is Happening

BY : Katana_Black
Category: Final Fantasy VII > Threesomes/Moresomes
Dragon prints: 3334
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story except for the copious amounts of gay sex. Final Fantasy VII and all related characters are unfortunately not mine do to with as I please, nor do I make any money from the production of this fic.

A/N: WARNING: This is first and foremost, shameless sluttery. Complete and absolute porn without plot. There's minimal story in part 1. Even less in part 2. It's also AGSCZ, which means 5 penises and 10 testicles. (First and last damn time I do that shit, too, that shit is difficult.) There's also hella non-vanilla stuff, but nothing that gets too serious. Also, language. Always language.

This story came about as a product of having too much free time at work and being generally desirous of an ASCZG fic that didn't annoy the hell out of me with pacing. I also hope you know that every time I type out the shortcut for this pairing, it's literally me just closing my eyes and banging at the keyboard and that's why it's a different order every time. xD

I have a loose concept of dating that I generally define as "mate shopping." Like how you throw three different brands of noodles in your cart because you're no sure which one is the best for your tastes and budget, but by the time you get to the register, you have to commit to one so you hastily stuff the other two on a shelf where they absolutely do not belong 'cause you can't be bothered to head back to Northern Siberia to put them where they do belong. Or you take all three, that's what's up. I don't judge. But point is, that's the definition these guys are going with as well.

Why does Angeal have a key to Zackn'Cloud's apartment, but not Seph? Because Cloud values his fuckin' privacy.

How old are they? Angeal is 31, Genesis is 30, Seph is 27, Zack is 25, Cloud is 23. Everyone is a full grown fucking adult. I'm also positive I at least mentioned the age range somewhere in there, but I did not write this with the aim of literary magnificence in mind, so I'm breaking my own rules. It's just porn, guys.

"But holy shit, Kat, there's so much semen." Yes, I believe the official count for the fic, including mentioned but off-screen, is 11 orgasms total. Literally shattered my own record, because if you know me, I really don't write actual sexies. At all. I think I've written...two before this, and each contained two orgasms total, one for each partner. Popped a lot of my own cherries with this bad boy.

TL;DR: Shitty PWP. Have fun with this brief, sexy interlude. ^^

"Oh boy."


"This is happening, isn't it."


"Oh boy."

It was kind of a weird conversation to have while your best friend had his lips literal centimetres away from the tip of your cock, Zack Fair supposed. But it was as bad a time as any.

He hadn't said anything when he found Sephiroth in his shower (for, like, the third time that week) other than the usual, "Stop breaking into my goddamn apartment," to which Sephiroth gave his customary reply of, "I keep telling you to lock your goddamn windows."

He also hadn't said anything when he'd found himself fantasizing about Sephiroth's wet, naked, and soapy body (for, like, the fiftieth time that week) as he took his own shower, instead taking himself in hand and jacking off as quickly and quietly as he could.

Nor had he said anything when he came back out to his living room to find Sephiroth lounging on his sofa, in nothing but a pair of (his) sweatpants and a black tank top (also his—Sephiroth would never willingly buy an article of clothing with something as childish as Iron Man's mini-arc reactor decorating the front).

And he definitely hadn't said anything minutes later when Sephiroth suddenly leaned over, and attempted to remove whatever imaginary foreign body it was that he'd seen blocking the back of Zack's throat. With his tongue.

No, those weren't exactly the best of times to say something, but still, they had to have been better than now, Zack mused regretfully.

"Aren't you dating Cloud?" he asked, kicking himself for how breathless he sounded. The mention of his other best friend and roommate sent a small shiver of guilt down his spine, but was nothing compared to the desire coursing through every other part of his body.

Sephiroth's eyes remained steady on Zack's as he evenly replied, "Aren't you dating Angeal?"

Zack raised an eyebrow. "Angeal's dating Gen," he said. "We're just...friends with benefits." It was okay by means of a loophole in Angeal's stupid little honour code. Since he and Genesis were simply dating, and not officially together, Angeal didn't worry about cheater's guilt every time he turned Zack into the only thing Angeal's neighbors hated about living next to him.

"Genesis is dating me," Sephiroth informed him. Then he rolled his eyes. "Well, more like hate-fucking me on a weekly basis, but honestly, same difference." No matter how the redhead tried to woo him, it always ended in a fight, and marvelously good sex. He pointedly glanced to the side and gave a quick shrug. He couldn't really complain.

"And now you're putting my penis in your mouth," Zack said, slightly incredulous at the news he'd just heard.

"Trying to," Sephiroth answered, staring at said penis. "May I resume?"

"Uh, no, I can't just—"

"See, your mouth is saying no, but I think the penis that just almost stabbed me in the eye would beg to differ," Sephiroth grumbling, grabbing hold of the offending organ even as Zack involuntarily thrust upwards again.

"Ifrit. I can't think when you do that," Zack complained, fingers digging into the fabric of the sofa.

Sephiroth stared at him with disbelief. "What the fuck is there to think about? I give excellent head," he stated.

"Um, how about the fact that this is even happening? Or maybe the fact that everyone refuses to acknowledge that every one is fucking each other behind everyone's back?" Zack said all this in one breath, trying desperately to maintain some semblance of self-control as Sephiroth began fingering his slit.

"No one's fucking behind anyone's back," Sephiroth said, ignoring Zack's distress. "Genesis knows Ang is fucking you, and Ang knows Gen is fucking me."

"Then—ahhhh-what about Cloud?"

"What about him?"


-was supposed to be home any minute, Zack belatedly remembered as a key turned in the lock on the door to the apartment. A quick glance at the cable box confirmed that it was just a couple minutes before seven, the time by when Cloud promised he'd be home. He cursed every deity he knew that he'd forgotten that Cloud actually lived in their apartment, and then promptly apologized as he began praying that Cloud wouldn't hate him for what he was doing on their couch.

Cloud Strife surveyed the scene impassively. One roommate, check. One potential boyfriend, check. At least one erection, check. "Oh, so this is happening," said Cloud in an extremely bored tone.

"More like I'm trying to make it happen," commented Sephiroth, who'd taken advantage of Zack's momentary distraction at Cloud's arrival to suck briefly on the tip of his penis.

Cloud snickered and disappeared into the kitchen to put down the bags of snacks and beer he'd brought. Zack distantly heard the fridge door open, the clank of bottles, and then the slam of the door closing. "Do you need help or something, Seph?" Cloud called out from the kitchen.

Sephiroth huffed, the warm breath making Zack flinch. "I think I can handle Zack's cock just fine on my own, Strife," he said. Zack squirmed, hands pushing at the top of Sephiroth's head.

Cloud appeared in the doorway, one hand toting a beer, the other buried in his pocket. "You sure about that?" he said.

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes. "You think you can do a better job?" he retorted snidely.

"Does anyone care to explain this to me?" Zack all but shrieked his complaint, and he felt he had every right to do so. His two best friends were standing in front of him, arguing over his cock like it was a forgotten anniversary—like they weren't already dating each other. Which, apparently, meant next to nothing, according to Sephiroth's convoluted explanation.

In the few precious seconds it took for Zack to contemplate this, Cloud crossed the room in three quick strides, yanked Sephiroth backwards, and lowered himself onto Zack's eagerly awaiting penis mouth first.

"What the shit?" Zack yelled, bolting upright in surprise, but only driving his cock further into Cloud's mouth.

Sephiroth shook his head. "Gaia, Cloud," he muttered.

Cloud glanced up at his lover, managing to look smug even with a mouth full of dick. He mumbled something, and Zack clutched at Cloud's spikes with a sharp gasp.

Sephiroth made a moue of disappointment. "I could have done that, too," he argued. "But unlike some people, I actually require full consent before I sexually violate someone—"

Cloud interrupted him with a wet pop as he pulled off Zack's cock, panting. "His dick is giving full consent," he commented.


"Ugh. Fine," Cloud said, rolling his eyes. "Stupid lawyers. Zack, you want me to give you a blowjob, right?"

"Correction: I was here first, so you should be asking him permission for me to give him a blowjob," Sephiroth said.

"Oh my god," Zack moaned. "I cannot believe this is happening."

"This is definitely happening," Sephiroth and Cloud said at the same time.

Zack glared between the two self-contented faces. "I'm just so confused," he said, face wracked with bewilderment. "Why?"

"You're hot," said Sephiroth, purveyor and collector of beautiful things.

"You're our friend," said Cloud, ever loyal to the people in his heart.

"And both of us have admitted, at some point, to bearing sexual attraction towards you," Sephiroth added.

The trio fell silent as Zack processed their words. Cloud idly played with the bared erection in front of him, delighting in the way Zack spasmed every couple of seconds.

"So..." Sephiroth broke the silence.

"This is really happening," Zack said, a note of resignation in his voice.

"Only if you want it to," Cloud chimed in seriously.

Zack covered his face with his hands. "Oh my god," he mumbled. And then, in an even smaller voice, "Yes, please."

Cloud gave a cheer. "Seph, you heard the man," he said, standing up. "Get to work."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, but settled back down on the couch between Zack's legs. "After you fought me so hard?"

Cloud snorted. "I wasn't fighting, I was giving you a hand, dipshit," he said, tapping Zack on the shoulder to lift himself up so Cloud could sit down beneath him. "Besides, you were here first anyway. Pass me my beer."

Sephiroth reached out and snagged the neck of the bottle, passing it up the length of Zack's body. "You're going to watch?" he asked with a smirk as the young auto mechanic kicked his feet up onto the table and took a sip.

"At the risk of stroking your ego," Cloud said, "have you ever seen yourself give head? It's almost as good as the act itself. Fuck yes, I'm watching." With Zack's head comfortably cradled in his lap, he raised an eyebrow, challenging Sephiroth to deny him.

To Zack, they seemed way too comfortable with the entire situation. "Have you two done this before? Like, this...threesome thing?" Zack asked, his voice strained. Something about having a sliver-haired god hovering near his cock and a golden-haired angel pillowing his head near his cock pushed him that much closer to the edge. He glanced up at Cloud, and then down at Sephiroth. They wore matching grins.

"Never," Cloud answered.

"You're our first," Sephiroth added.

"Lucky me," Zack sighed as Sephiroth closed his mouth around his cock. All of the reservations to which he'd previously insisted on clinging flew right out the window as Sephiroth began to work him in earnest. He was merciless, curling his sinfully long tongue around Zack's shaft as he bobbed up and down. Zack groaned, his body arching under the strength of his desire. One of his hands clung to the edge of the couch for dear life, while the other simply hovered over Sephiroth's head, clenching and unclenching with uncertainty. Sephiroth made the decision for him, glancing up as he reached back and forced Zack's hand onto his head. Zack needed no further coaching. He immediately brought his other hand to rest on Sephiroth's shoulder, threading his fingers into the curtain of hair.

"Lord, have mercy," Zack moaned as Sephiroth sucked his soul, mind, and free will out through his cock. In all honesty, Sephiroth could have told him to assassinate the president, and the only question he'd have asked was whether he wanted the man's head on a silver or gold platter. That serious.

"Ahhh—good god—"

Sephiroth pulled off his cock with a loud slurp. "Lord Sephiroth, benevolent god," he said. "I like the sound of that."

"You would," Cloud said with a loud snort. His eyes were already hazy with lust, though. "Fucking prick."

"Less talking, more sucking," Zack said through laboured breathing.

Sephiroth smirked. "Your desire is my command," he said cheekily, licking Zack's cock from base to tip before swallowing it into his mouth again. He slid one hand upwards underneath Zack's shirt, rubbing the heated skin over his racing heart. As gorgeous as Zack was on an average day, in Sephiroth's opinion, he was absolutely stunning when under the duress of extreme pleasure. The way his tanned skin flushed a dusky rose was so different from how Cloud's skin burst into strawberry red splotches, or how Genesis blossomed a cherry red, but it was still just as alluring.

Cloud, who was quickly becoming malcontent with simply being a silent observer, couldn't have agreed more. The meaningful glance his lover shot him was as clear an invitation as he needed. Quickly downing the rest of his beer, he tossed the empty bottle on the floor and leaned over Zack's face. Cloud stroked Zack's lips with his thumb until he was staring into deep indigo eyes nearly consumed by dilated pupils, and then swiftly replaced his thumb with his lips.

Zack moaned wantonly into the kiss, the sensations of Sephiroth sucking him while Cloud tongue-fucked his mouth driving him insane. Pleasure spiked just behind his belly button as he felt Cloud's burgeoning erection through the cloth of his pants, pressing against the side of his face. Zack's hips thrust harder into Sephiroth's mouth as he simultaneously marveled at the silver-haired man's minimal gag reflex, and imagined what it'd be like with Cloud's dick in his mouth.

Sephiroth looked up, slightly startled by the increased fervor in Zack's reaction. Zack's lips were parted in a series of broken, wordless moans, and Cloud's face was just above his, murmuring furiously. Sephiroth smiled around Zack's cock. If there was anything he absolutely adored about his rather innocent-appearing lover, it was his flawless ability to dirty talk.

Zack was quickly learning to appreciate Cloud's talent as well. As soon as the blond had started talking, Zack knew he wouldn't last much longer.

"Just look at him, Zack," Cloud was saying. "Look at him down there, between your legs, sucking your dick like a good boy. He's a good boy, isn't he? Or maybe I should say, he's a good bitch, 'cause that's what he is. A good, little bitch slut who can't get enough of your cock. Look at him, you know he loves the way your dick hits the back of his throat. Only a real slut likes to choke on cock like that."


"The great Sephiroth Crescent-Valentine, sucking your cock like a truck stop whore," Cloud said, reaching down to pinch at Zack's nipple. "Look at him, he's such a fucking slut, he's getting off on being face-fucked. You're abusing him with your cock, and he's getting hard over it."

Forget "getting" hard, Sephiroth was already working his hand down the front of his sweatpants. He moaned around Zack's dick as Cloud's words hit him right in all the right places, his own cock begging for stimulation as it twitched in anticipation.

"He's just waiting for you to come, Zack," Cloud said, his eyes locked with Sephiroth's. "I can tell by the look on his face. All he wants is your hot, salty come in his mouth so he can swallow it down. He loves it, you know? The taste of come. He loves it when you just let everything go and fill up his whole mouth with it. He'll suck you dry just to make sure he gets every last drop. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Emptying your balls down Sephiroth's throat. Tell him you're gonna come, Zack. Tell him you're gonna come hard."

Zack was helpless to disobey. He was already so damn close. "Fuck," he groaned, fingers digging into Sephiroth's scalp as he forced the man back down. "Seph—Seph, fuck, I'm—I—ah—"

Sephiroth dutifully kept his nose pressed against Zack's happy trail as the brunet rode out his orgasm. He sucked in rhythm with each pulse, swallowing down each spurt of semen with professional efficiency. Even as Zack's jerking died down and his fingers gingerly untangled themselves from Sephiroth's hair, Sephiroth held his position, only pulling back with a firm suck when Zack's body had gone completely limp.

"Oh, my god, Sephiroth," Zack started to say with a laugh. "That—"

He didn't finish his sentence, instead staring up in shock and awe as Sephiroth levered himself upward with a hand braced on Zack's chest, and met Cloud halfway for a bruising kiss. Silver strands tickled his face, but Zack only brushed them away and continued watching the spectacle.

"Damn," he breathed.

"Cloud," Sephiroth said, his voice a dirty growl.

"So impatient," said Cloud, though he was already pushing Zack up. The taste of Zack's come on Sephiroth's tongue had him leaking.

"Oh, wonderful," Genesis crowed with delight. "So this is happening."

The trio all turned towards the front door, startled, but not shocked to see Genesis Rhapsodos and Angeal Hewley standing in the open doorway. It was, after all, Movie Night Monday, and Angeal had a copy of Zack's key. Zack wondered faintly why today also seemed to be Drop In On Zack Engaging In Compromising Positions Monday.

He couldn't even begin to image the sight they must have made, with Sephiroth and his gargantuan cock standing at full attention while he straddled Zack's torso so he could make out with his lover with the brunet stuck in between them like the sweet and charismatic filling on the world's snarkiest sex sandwich.

"Goddamn," Angeal said, summing things up quite nicely.

Sephiroth looked non-plussed. "I sincerely do not have time for this shit," he grumbled, climbing off the couch and snatching Cloud up by the wrist. "I'm going to go fuck Cloud in Zack's bedroom."

Zack squawked his discontent, but was ignored entirely.

"If any of you fuckers has the balls to interrupt me, so help me god, I'll—"

"You'll what?" Genesis interrupted eagerly.

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed, and then an evil smirk crossed his lips. "I'll ream you so hard, you'll have tinnitus for a week," he said.

Genesis' eyes glittered with excitement, Angeal discreetly widened his stance, and Zack hastily wiped some saliva from the corner of his mouth. Cloud only looked confused.

"Tinnitus?" he asked, speaking lowly into Sephiroth's ear. He was used to Seph and Gen using their big fancy lawyer words, but usually he at least had Zack on the side of cluelessness.

"It's the medical term for that incessant ringing you get in your ears after being exposed to loud noise for a prolonged time, or a single instance of an extremely loud noise," Sephiroth explained quickly. "like if someone fires a gun right next to your ear."

That explained how Zack knew. But why would they—

"From all the screaming," Sephiroth clarified, reading the look on Cloud's face easily.

"Oh," Cloud said, understanding dawning on him in stages. "Oh. Ohhh." A grin that was eerily similar to Sephiroth's spread across his face.

"You guys really had better not interrupt, then," Cloud echoed, allowing himself to be pulled along.

"We'll do our best, but no promises, darling," Genesis called out just as they disappeared behind the door.

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