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Reviews for Arcane Crisis

By : Chemotaxis

From WonderMint on July 29, 2015
I positively love the way you write Squall. Specifically that edge of barely-contained insanity. That's something I could never do, but you pull it off and you make it so sexy.

The dubcon scene you begin with is a great mix of pleasure and revulsion. Ordinarily I prefer consent but I have to admit that I'm kind of fascinated by the borders, where characters may be in a situation where they have no control but decide to make the best of it. This is almost the opposite situation, where characters have decided of their own free will to put themselves in a situation where they cannot consent. Kind of freaky but awesome the way you handled it. I particularly love how you keep us grounded in Seifer's perspective, letting us know that he doesn't want to rape Squall but is still willing to take advantage of his enjoyment. Knowing that both characters are concerned about consent but pushing beyond their boundaries knowingly makes a potentially scary situation very hot.

The last encounter, when Seifer invites Squall to the bedroom, is pure candy. "Just say stop" were the magic words to have me melting. That's not to say the earlier action wasn't great without it, but having both scenes together is fabulous. All of the conflict they were feeling before, and then finally they have no excuse to pretend they don't enjoy it. I love it, and I hope they do manage to find some happiness. In fact, I am really looking forward to Squall getting a new blade for Seifer. That impulse, coming so soon after such an otherwise traumatic reunion, just melts my heart!
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From asialisek on June 06, 2013
Yes please!
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From asialisek on March 29, 2013
So........ Um, yes!
(�◉ ω ◉｀)

ヾ(≧▽≦)ﾉ

Please please more!! Sooo lucky BTW to have found two (2!!) new ( i.e. recently updated fics, thus bumped up to the front of the search list) in a single week!!

I get worried sometimes that a day will come when there will be no more new SxS fics..... It would be a sad day indeed. But for now? Thank you thank you thank you for keeping the fangirl's dreams alive!!!!

Aaaaaaaand, I hope you update soon!
Lol,
Of course, (﹡�﹀�﹡)♡��♬*゜

p.s. omg they need to kiss sooooon!!!! XD
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From ANON - MuneLyte on November 09, 2011
Is there going to be more?
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From ANON - anon on March 26, 2010
*whining* Why haven't you updated yet?! It's been so long since I've read a good story!! Please update soon! *pouting*
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From RayneGewitter on February 15, 2010
I completely love this story! I've read just about every decent SeiferxSquall fanfiction that I have been able to find, and usually new ones aren't written well. Not only is this wonderfully written, but you pay such close attention to detail (which makes me incredibly happy)! I will most definitely be following this story, and I can't wait for an update!
~Rayne

PS: If you are still looking for a beta, I wouldn't mind doing it for you. Just let me know! :)
Email: I_pwn_Carlisle@yahoo.com
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From Purplepenguin on January 30, 2010
Hi,
I just wanted to say that your story is great and it got me back in love with SeiferxSquall!
Got me writing yet another SxS ficcie!
Please update soon I check EVERY DAY!!!
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From AloraCorwyn on January 14, 2010
Chem,

The first thing I'm going to mention is my utter frustration at returning from vacation to find that you had updated the day I left and so I missed your latest chapter (and exceptionally kind words) by two weeks! My excitement at finding a new chapter of one of my favorite stories is tempered by the disappointment that I didn't get to review first ^_~

I re-read my last review and realized that it was a little sporadic so I offer this as explanation: I reviewed as I read, which I intend to do now as well (I haven't started reading yet). But before I begin reading and commenting (and gushing, undoubtedly), I would be delighted and honored to preview your work; I hope my delayed response hasn't made you think otherwise. I will send you an email as soon as I finish reading through this chapter and you can respond at your leisure. I've actually been interested in betaing for a long time and I'm so pleased that you're not offended by my commentary; as I've mentioned before, I point out this stuff because your writing is worth it. *bow to your pen*

A few edits (as always, suggestions open to your discretion):
1.) "fazed by her Squall's reasoning" remove "her"
2.) " "So you're at his now?" " needs "place" or "house" or something
3.) "Quistis started worrying if she had gone to far" needs "too" instead of "to"
4.) This one's nit-picky: "The guy Squall was currently staying with." I recommend changing "Squall" to "he"; the use of his name throws off the flow of the paragraph a little bit
5.) "the almost scolding water" you mean "scalding"
6.) This sentence: "It was the smell of coffee that pulled" becomes a lot stronger if you remove "It was" and "that"
7.) "exactly what Squall had needed" remove "had"
8.) "With Squall sat just across from him" and "Seifer was already sat by the fireplace" change to "seated" for clarity
9.) I highly doubt it would take a master gunblade specialist hours to clean his weapon. Military personnel clean their guns in minutes if I remember correctly.
10.) "he wanted nothing but join" needs "to"
11.) I think you forgot the end of this sentence: "the slight bob of the younger man's cock giving Squall."
12.) The lake swim scene still seems a little random to me... does it serve a future purpose?

Good god, Seifer is wonderful in his seduction scene. And I absolutely love that you conveyed his apprehension as he climbed the stairs--that he seems totally confident while he is actually at Squall's mercy and decision. Beautifully conveyed Chem! The sex scene is positively delicious. The thought of a naked and willing Squall tied to the bed is mouth-watering. I can't wait for Seifer to admit to himself and eventually to Squall that he's starting to get emotionally attached! XD

I also really like how well Seifer understands Squall. He knows exactly how to act around him to maintain peace or to shake things up.

Great, as always, Chem. I look forward to the next chapter and to hearing from and working with you.

Aerawyn
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From lunael55 on January 14, 2010
It was an excellent story, intelligent, well-written, with an interesting and even believable plot (If you're a yaoi addict that is of course). It's gotta be the first time I actually enjoy reading a domination story, but you made it sound so human and natural that I couldn't stop reading and loving every word of it. I sure do hope you will continue it. Bravo! And thanks for the great reading time ^^
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From angelofinnocence on January 02, 2010
I just realized that I have never reviewed this fic before my last one and I've been reading it for months now. You must accept my apologies. I could have sworn that I had left at least one tiny, measly review, but apparently I was being lazy or something. I had intended to, honest. ^_^
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From angelofinnocence on January 02, 2010
well, that was certainly a satisfying chapter to read. I really love how this story is progressing. If you are in desperate need of a beta, I would be willing to help you out. I only offer to beta for authors that I feel are close to on par with myself (that sounds conceited I think *sweatdrops*). I really like how you've written the fic so far and really there are only minor mistakes that need fixing, so I think betaing wouldn't be too tedious or irritating. Anyways, keep up the good work. I'm glad that you update as often as you can, so many people just drop FFVIII stories these day because it's so old now. *sighs* I need to update my own as well. Wonderful job!I hope you update again ASAP.

Xander
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From ANON - Skye on December 31, 2009
You have nooo idea how much I look forward to this story.
There's only a rare few SeiferxSquall that are really good. And yours my friend, is on the top 2 that I've ever read.
I can not wait until your next installment and am greatly anticipating what will happen!!
~Luvs~
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From ANON - Ranna on December 30, 2009
I like your story. It manages to capture Squall's troubled mental state without making him or Seifer OOC.

(Haha, Captcha says "even ensnared" how appropriate)
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From AloraCorwyn on December 09, 2009
Crap, I missed on thing in my third edit note: you use "it's" instead of "its" (contraction instead of possessive pronoun).
Actually, I guess you should also change "their last encounter" to "his last encounter with it" since Squall is the subject of the sentence. So I guess that's two things...

Bah, I should be writing about Camus! Why must reading, reviewing, and editing be so damn much fun (and so distracting)?
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From AloraCorwyn on December 09, 2009
Oh my god I almost missed your post in the wave of filth that has been swamping the "recent updates" page in the past week. I'm soooo glad I absent-mindedly scrolled down and saw AC updated!

I really enjoy the way you're developing Squall. It's a slightly different take on his personality than most people use and I think it's interesting and exciting to see a new vision of him that I still think is really accurate. After reading so much fanfiction over the years, I was browsing some direct game quotes a few weeks ago and realized how warped my impression of Squall's personality has become. I like that you develop his pride and sense of duty so well. I feel like you're creating a deeper personality than I've seen in most fiction lately.

This chapter has a lot of great lines. Squall admitting that he never wanted to be a leader and hates being a hero is awesome--I think a lot of fans have trouble accepting that Squall, unlike the majority of mankind, was not only okay with being a "face in the crowd," or "just a number," he wanted to be nothing more. The exchange between Seifer and Squall--"You've changed." "You haven't."--was great.

I love, love, love how Seifer seems so incompetent in the fight against the beast (and in their lakeside duel). I'm so very sick of him matching Squall easily in sequel stories when realistically, he shouldn't be able to touch him (at least I don't think so). For one, he's still using the same blade he had as a cadet. For two, he was probably drawing on Ultimecia's power while serving her, meanwhile Squall had to build up his own physical and magical power and prowess.

Oooooh, Seifer's pissed now! Squall's gonna get it... "When Squall turned to glare at him in reply, Seifer's mind easily supplied the translation of 'the fuck you are'."--I melted. So good. Don't apologize for "the lack of juiciness" in the chapter: it was absolutely fabulous!

And as has become my habit, I close with some points of edit ^_~
1. I think you changed "the blond" to "Seifer" in a few places and missed removing "the"; more specifically, "the Seifer" appears in a couple locations.
2. The long paragraph about halfway through the story has two sentences that start "The both"--either "the" needs to be "they" or you could just start the sentences with "Both"
3. This paragraph needs help. My changes are inside slash marks (dashes represent a deletion):
As Squall laid eyes on the magnificent beast he had been looking for/,/ a shiver of excitement passed through /him. The/ beast's golden eyes swiftly scanned the surroundings as it stopped in its track, picking up /-on-their-/ /the two fighters'/ scent/s/. Baring it's teeth, the creature growled, trying to intimidate the intruders. Spotting the scar the beast wore from their last encounter, Squall felt /-the-/ his pulse rise and muscles tense in anticipation.
4. "ready to jump at a moments notice" needs an apostrophe in "moment's"
5. This is awkward and ambiguous, the subject shifts in the sentence and there are too many pronouns: "Howling, it called upon the surrounding nature, a cloud of icy needles forming high up in the air before launching them in their direction."
I suggest: "Howling, it called upon the surrounding nature, forming a cloud of icy needles high in the air before launching the spikes at its opponents."
6. "The monster/,/ roaring in pain and thirsty for revenge, /-it-/ was a blur of movement as Seifer tried to make out who and what to attack."
7. I don't think you mean "reluctantly" here: "Seifer reluctantly noticed the blue glow of Lion Heart"
8. rang, not rung: "Another loud howl rung out" (I ring the bell. I have rung the bell. I rang the bell.)
9. "Seifer /-was-/ couldn't tear his eyes from the man before him."
10. When you close quotations, the punctuation should always go inside: "'the fuck you are'." should end "are.'" and if you end with a question mark, you don't need the comma: "When do we spar?,"--Of course, I assume you know these things, but after editing and resubmitting a few of my essays from earlier this semester, I realize how very easy it is for a writer to make mistakes and then not notice them during revision (amazing how essays I believed brilliant were actually pretty awful when I reread them two months later T_T).

Long review is long :( I'm sorry! I just can't help myself when I'm talking about your writing. And good god am I ever a kiss-ass >.
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