Exquisite Dysfunction

Warning: We have a surprise guest for this chapter, he was going to pop up sooner or later. And I'm sure by now you can guess by the title, there will be a sex scene. So, if you do not like detailed sex, male sex to top it off, please just continue past that part. ^.^ Enjoy the chapter. Also, expect a big surprise from someone. If a lot of you aren't comfortable with MPreg, please do not read.

Over the next two weeks, Cloud and Zack had gotten over what had happened between them in the gym, and were back to being normal. It was Friday, and the boys were ending their fourth week of being in boot camp. Only eight more weeks to go, and then all the privates would be going home for six months. Since it was Friday, Jiro and Cloud were in their room, getting ready to go out. It had become routine to go up to the bar every Friday, sometimes Vincent and Nero would be there, other times they wouldn't.

Zack jogged down the hallway, stopping outside Jiro and Cloud's door. He knocked on the

door, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

Jiro opened the door, raising his eyebrow at Zack. "I thought we were going to meet you up at the bar?"

Zack smiled, "We're not going to the bar tonight."

Cloud walked over by Jiro, reaching out and grabbing the edge of the door, pulling it open more so he could see Zack.

"Why in the hell not?" Jiro pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Well, Nero and Vincent want us to come over. They said that they have something to tell all of us."

Cloud sighed, pushing past Jiro and standing by Zack's side. Jiro just groaned, rolling his eyes and walking out of the room.

"Fine, but they owe me! Big time."

Zack, Cloud and Jiro all made their way down the hall and out of the building. Cloud hummed as they walked off base, and down a dirt road, leading towards Vincent and Nero's house.

"Oh, Zack, here." Jiro pulled a picture out of his back pocket, the same one that he had given Cloud two weeks ago in class.

"It's the picture I took of you and Cloud. Now you have a copy, too."

Zack took the picture, smiling down at it, before tucking it away in his pocket.

"Thank you, Jiro."

"Welcome!" The taller boy exclaimed, leaning over and kissing Zack's cheek.

Zack laughed as Jiro kissed his cheek, shaking his head at how dorky his friend could be. Zack looked over at Cloud, who was looking down at the ground, a small frown fixed on his face.

"Something wrong, Cloud?"

Jiro leaned over a bit, raising his eyebrow at Cloud. "Yeah, Cloud, are you alright?"

Cloud looked up at his two friends, giving them a small nod.

"Just fine, thanks."

Jiro shrugged, looking up a head and grinning. He waved to Zack and Cloud, running up the pathway to Nero and Vincent's house. Zack rolled his eyes, looking over and smiling at Cloud.

"I'll race you."

Cloud laughed softly, nodding to Zack. "You're on."

Zack counted down from three, but before he even reached one, Cloud was off, running way ahead of Zack. Zack laughed, running after Cloud, trying to catch up with the younger boy.

"You cheated!"

"Did not!" Cloud said, turning his head to look back at Zack.

He blinked when Zack stopped running, pointing in the direction Cloud was running. The
blond teen turned his head, gasping as he collided with Nero, both of them falling over
and landing on the ground with a thud.

"Holy shit, Nero, I am so sorry." Cloud scrambled to his feet, holding his hand out to help Nero up.

Zack rushed to both Cloud and Nero's side, looking between the two of them.

"Are you guys okay?" Zack asked, panting softly from the run up the hill.

Vincent stepped outside, reaching down and hooking his hands under Nero's arms. He lifted the smaller man up to his feet, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"You okay, baby?" Vincent asked, kissing the side of Nero's head.

Nero nodded, turning in Vincent's arms.

Cloud looked to Zack, frowning a bit. Zack just smiled, resting his hand on Cloud's
shoulder, reassuring him that he wasn't in trouble or anything.

"It was just an accident."

Nero turned back around and nodded, agreeing with what Zack had said.

"Yes, just pay attention to where you're going next time, Cloud."

"I will." Cloud spoke softly.

"Everything all right out here?"

Everyone looked over to see a silver haired man in the door way, with Jiro wrapped all around him. Jiro was playing with the man's hair, grinning at Cloud and winking, mouthing the words 'he's hot', to Cloud. The blond haired teen laughed, shaking his head and waving his hand at Jiro.

"Well, is everything okay?" The silver haired man spoke again, his eyebrows raising.

Zack nodded, along with Vincent and Nero. "Yes General, everything's just fine."

Zack smirked at Jiro as he said that, laughing when the teen moved away from the man, his eyes going wide.

Cloud blinked, staring at the silver haired main, known as General Sephiroth. He couldn't
believe that he was in his presence, and to top it all off he had just made a fool of
himself, running into Nero the way he did.

Jiro hid behind Cloud, well, tried to at least. "I was hitting on the General, please, kill me now."

He whispered to Cloud, slowly following the group inside Vincent and Nero's house. Zack sat down on the couch, leaning against the arm rest, smiling when Cloud sat down next to him. Jiro looked between the two of them, and then down at the empty spot on the couch, next to the General.

"Cloud, don't you want to sit next to the General? He could use some company!" Jiro grins down at Cloud, motioning for him to scoot over.

"What? I promise, I don't bite. Hard."

The General spoke, glancing up at Jiro, a small smirk on his lips. After finishing the sentence, the General snaps at Jiro, who looked like a dear caught in headlights.

"Aw, now Sephiroth, play nice." Zack leaned over, smiling at the General.

Jiro slowly sank down in his seat, scooting as close as possible to Cloud.

"I am being nice, very nice, Zackary." Sephiroth reached out, grabbing Jiro by his arm and pulling him closer to him.

Jiro squeaked, trying to get away from the General.

"Ah, I'm sorry for hitting on you! Don't kill me! Cloud, you fucker, help me!"

Zack laughed, along with Cloud, Vincent, Nero, and the General. The silver haired man just kept his arms around Jiro's waist, holding him close to his side.

"Come on you fucking fairy, help me!" Jiro started flailing his arms around, struggling in the General's grasp.

With all the bouncing around Jiro was doing, he somehow ended up in the General's lap, who just removed his arms from the younger boys waist, placing his hands on the snow white blond's hips. Jiro ceased all movement, feeling the General squeeze his hips, he turned his head, glaring at Cloud. He reached his arm out, grabbing Cloud by the collar of his shirt, and pulling him closer to him.

"If you don't fucking help me, I swear to God I'm going to cut your fucking dick off."

Cloud swallowed hard, and Zack reached out, grabbing Cloud's arm, starting to tug on it. Jiro growled at Zack, grabbing Cloud's other arm and tugging him back towards him.

Vincent sighed, rising to his feet. "We're going to need alcohol."

He said, making his way into the kitchen.

"So, everyone, I have something to say." Nero said, watching as two of his friends played tug-a-war with poor little Cloud.

"I'm pregnant!" Nero shouted over all the commotion.

Everyone stopped what they were doing, all turning their heads toward Nero. Vincent entered the room, just as Nero had announced the news.

"Oh, we're going to need more then this." He said, looking down at the bottles in his hands. He turned, going back into the kitchen for more alcohol.

"Congratulations." Zack said, letting go of Cloud's arm.

Cloud just stared at Nero, not exactly sure how to respond to that, but if anything he knew Jiro would have something to say.

"Oh, my fucking, God! You're having a baby sprite!" Jiro shoved Cloud up against Zack's side, bouncing in the General's lap as he spoke.

Jiro threw his arms up in the air, Vincent once again entering the room. He sighed, not even bothering to mention that they were still going to need more alcohol. Turning, yet again, he just walked back into the kitchen.

"S-Stop bouncing, damnit." Sephiroth gripped the younger boys hips harder, trying to get him to stop moving around in his lap.

"Why?" Jiro wiggled around in the General's lap, gasping softly. "What's that?!"

"Keep quiet." The General replied, in a low voice.

"The General has a stiffy!"

Cloud, Zack and Nero all gasped, turning their head and staring at the man who had just announced to everyone that the General had a hard-on.

"Shut up." The General spoke, digging his fingers into the boys hips.

"A rather larger stiffy." Jiro giggled, wiggling his ass in the General's lap.

"Let's drink." Vincent said, putting the various bottles of alcohol down on the coffee table.

Zack nodded in agreement, helping Vincent to pour drinks. Jiro reached out, grabbing a zima off the table, and rising to his feet.

"I need a jolly rancher, do you have any?"

Nero pointed towards the kitchen, watching as the teen bounced off in that direction.

"What does he need a jolly rancher for?" Sephiroth asked, glancing over at Cloud.

Cloud just shrugged, not wanting to speak in front of the General, afraid he'd make an even bigger fool out of himself. After all, this man was his idol, and Cloud hoped one day to become as good a SOLDIER as him.

Zack grabbed one of the shot glasses, pouring himself a drink, smiling when the General reached out, taking a bottle of beer off the table. Zack downed his shot, grabbing a shooter and glancing up at Nero.

"So that was what you guys were doing that night we were here? Probably traumatized poor Cloud here."

Zack brought his hand down on Cloud's shoulder, shaking him lightly.

"Well, thank God I don't remember anything from that night."

Vincent smirked, sipping at his drink. "Oh, so you don't remember you and Zack all wrapped around one another on the couch?"

"W-What?" Cloud looked up at Zack, who just gave him a small smile.

"So, I want you all to be apart of our big happy family."

Jiro entered the room right as Nero said that, dropping the jolly rancher into his zima.

"Wait, you want me to be kin to a fucking fairy?!"

"I agree with him." Sephiroth took a sip of his beer, pointing up at the snow white blond.

"Whoa, you never talked to me about this! You just said Cloud, Zack and Sephiroth."

Vincent turned his head, looking at Nero blankly.

"Well, he is Zack and Cloud's friend." Nero smiled, turning his attention to Sephiroth.

"And the General here seems to have an infatuation with the boy."

Sephiroth choked on his drink, staring at Nero and shaking his head.

Jiro sat back down next to the General. "If I'm kin, does that mean I get to throw you a baby shower?"

Jiro grinned and Vincent shook his head. "Oh hell no, he's not coming within 10 feet of my child!"

"And why not?" Jiro gasped, taking a small sip of his zima.

"You send out deadly waves of stupidness! See, I don't even think that's a word! No, I won't hear of it, he is not going to be a part of my family."

Jiro pouted, looking over at the General. "Oh Sephy dear, you're not going to let them say such bad things about me, are you?"

Sephiroth just blinked, cringing at the new nickname he had just been given.

"Yeah, Sephy." Zack said, downing his shooter.

Zack offered Cloud a drink, raising his eyebrow when the boy shook his head, pushing the
drink away from him.

"Anything non-alcoholic?"

"Yeah, come with me, hon." Nero stood up, motioning for Cloud to follow him into the
kitchen.

XX

An hour later, Zack, Sephiroth and Vincent were downing, what had to be their 20th shot that night. Sephiroth lifted his hand up, shaking his head.

"No more for me."

"Aw, come on old man, I know you can drink more then that." Zack said, handing the General another shot.

"What the fuck, Zack? I'm older then him!"

"Well," Zack points over at Sephiroth. "He looks older!"

"W-what? I do not."

Jiro giggled, patting the Generals leg, unwrapping another jolly rancher and popping it into his mouth. Jiro winked at the General, rising to his feet and walking off down the hall. Sephiroth watched as the younger boy walked away, downing the other shot he had been given, before standing to his feet.

"I'm going to turn in for the night." Sephiroth nodded at both of the drunken men, before following Jiro down the hall.

Cloud sits with Nero at the kitchen table, sipping on some drink the man had made up for him.

"So, you and Zack, you two seem fond of each other?"

Cloud looked into his glass and shrugged. "I guess."

XX

Inside the guest room, Jiro pulled the jolly rancher from his mouth, pursing his lips and shrugging. He popped it back into his mouth, his eyes widening as he's shoved up against the wall.

He smirked, giving the man behind him a moan of approval. "Oh, General, so forceful."

Sephiroth released the teen, watching as he turned around, a small smirk forming on the General's lips.

"On your knees, private."

Jiro raised his eyebrows, grinning widely. "Yes sir, General, sir."

Jiro saluted, dropping down to his knees in front of the General.

Sephiroth removed the long trench coat he was wearing, tossing it off to the side. Jiro looked up, licking his lips.

"So, you go shirtless, do you also go commando?"

"Why don't you find out."

Jiro shrugged, leaning his head forward and nuzzling at the front of the General's pants. Sephiroth reached his head down, running his fingers through the snow white blond's hair.

Jiro lifted his hands, fiddling with the button on the older man's pants. He smiled when he popped the button open, pulling the zipper down with his teeth. Grabbing the sides of Sephiroth's pants, he gave a light tug, smiling when they flooded around his ankles. Grinning, the younger boy leaned forward, kissing at the man's lower stomach.

"I was right, you are rather, " Jiro looked up, biting down on his lip. "Large."

He grasped the base of Sephiroth's cock, licking at the tip of it, looking up at the man through his lashes.

"Hasn't boot camp taught you anything? Don't talk with your mouth full."

Jiro giggled softly, "yes sir."




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Authors Note: This story was cut into two sections, so if you want the other half, leave some nice reviews. I know I am mean for ending it there, ha ha. Also, soon, my LJ will be having faster updates on the story, hopefully. So, if you want the link, let me know. My co-writer and I are real busy, trying to get some other projects of ours into motion, so I apologize if from here out if the updates take awhile. What do you all think of Nero being preggers? And Jiro, isn't he fucking funny? Ha ha, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Next part gets better. ^.^