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The Art of Insomnia	By : RandiLynne Category: Final Fantasy VII > Het - Male/Female Views: 954 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Insomnia often had
pleasant facets, if one looked closely enough. On such a terribly grim evening,
however, he was disinclined to seek such delectation. The rain had been pouring
down, dancing upon the roof tops for hours. The sound was welcome to his ears,
but that was not enough to soothe him into slumber. Using the tips of his knees
as a makeshift pillow, he allowed sanguine irises to roam the silhouette of the
neighboring buildings in idle attentiveness. The menacing ashen clouds filtered
the glow of the moon and what wan light did manage to leak through was
forgotten in the darkness. Perhaps that was the reason he�d been so surprised
to see her wandering through the streets below, seemingly lost beneath the
deluge released by the sky.
As if to be sure he was
not dreaming, he blinked twice and moved to the window where he met the icy
glass to gain a better look. The tail of her leather attire swished just so,
catching his eye. The tips of white cotton peeked from beneath her vest to come
alight beneath a street lamp, sealing the deal. What could she possibly be
thinking?
Without hesitation, he
moved from the bed and slipped from his humble apartment into the dingy halls.
The push bar banged against the glass door as he swung it wide and entered the
watery streets, narrowing his eyes to search for her form again. It really
couldn�t be that difficult, the street did not fork off for another block or
so. The rain began to soak through his cloak, tickling down his chest in
hurried streams as he started to stray from the apartment building. A fair pace
sent him down the cobbled stone, and he found her just feet from where he�d
last seen her. She was standing, straddling the center of the street and
looking around as if she were lost.
�Tifa?� he called, his
voice breaking the silent song of the rain.
Startled by his
appearance, she turned quickly and her eyes softened when they settled upon
him. There was something in her eyes, an odd emptiness he only saw on those
occasions that Cloud abandoned reason to chase ghosts. Through parted pastel,
she breathed a puff of steam. The air was chilled enough to bite at his skin
beneath leather, and she was certainly far less covered.
�You�re going to get sick
out here,� he added. Still, she stood unmoving.
�It�s not that bad�� she
finally spoke, her voice low and subtle.
�Don�t be ridiculous.�
With that, he gestured toward the apartment building, �Come on.�
Tifa must have realized
that he was right, and she slowly began to walk toward the glowing door. The
frown perched upon her lips betrayed her, and he knew in that moment that she
was beginning to break. When they met the door, he opened it for her, waiting
until she was a good distance down the hall before entering himself. She knew
where to go from there; she�d visited a few times whenever she was in the area.
Her company was always a ray of light through the darkness that enveloped his
mind all too often.
Inside, she leaned against
the bar top of the kitchen counter, shivering and dripping from head to toe. Watching
her for a moment was reason enough to grab two plush red towels from the linen
cabinet beside the bathroom. He handed one over, and set the other atop the
bed. He worked quickly at the buckles and belts holding his cloak in place,
allowing the fabric to fall away as he tossed it into the bathroom. Such things
could be dealt with later.
�So maybe it was really
c-cold outside,� she said, teeth chattering on the �C.�
�What are you doing here?�
he asked, holding the other towel incase she happened to need it. The carpet
was beginning to turn darker beneath the puddle she was dripping onto the
floor.
�I needed to talk,� she
admitted, gaze faltering to the floor.
An interesting response,
since he�d finally gotten a phone after the insistence of several who shall go
unnamed. She�d come all this way on foot, simply to talk? He didn�t buy that.
She was running.
�I hope I�m not
intruding,� she offered dryly. He could see her frail lashes flutter briefly,
as if blinking back tears.
�Not at all,� he consoled.
She was never intruding when she stopped by to talk or visit, but usually she
was on much happier terms.
A chill raked her spine
and she shuddered involuntarily, running her hands up and down her biceps to
rush away the cold. The sight brought the sympathy he�d stored away bubbling to
the surface, and he came to the conclusion that she was not about to get warm
beneath all that freezing leather. He wandered over to the dresser and pulled
out the middle drawer, removing white cotton shirt and a pair of boxers he
hadn�t worn in ages.
�Here,� he offered the
clothing to her with gloved fingers, watching as she accepted the items
cautiously.
�Thanks� freezing to death
doesn�t sound like much fun,� she laughed delicately and started for the
bathroom.
�I�d imagine not,� he
added as she closed the door. He took that opportunity to remove the soaked
bandana from his forehead, the relief from the moisture obstructed by the slosh
of water elsewhere. Getting dry with all this� clothing, would be impossible.
When she emerged shyly
with the white shirt draping around her torso and the shorts falling mid thigh,
he had to avoid her to keep from gawking. Crossing that line between friendship
and romance wasn�t at the top of his to-do list, but he�d never deny the fact
that she was an attractive woman. With a thin smile, she dabbed her matted hair
with a towel and wandered further into the room.
�What did you wish to talk
about?� he asked, remembering her purpose for coming. Though quite content, he
shifted uncomfortably beneath the cold leather.
�Well� before I get on to
that, you should really change. You�re so busy worrying about me,� she said as
she sat on the edge of the bed. She really did make herself at home whenever
she was around.
�I suppose you�re right,�
he replied. The thought of listening to whatever ailed her with the
interruption of sticky, wet leather was less than appealing.
He fumbled through the
bottom drawer, seeking the pair of black pajamas he never really wore. Living
alone meant having the liberty to sleep in whatever one desired to sleep
in�including nothing at all.
Peeling off the leather
and buckles, gauntlet and boots proved noisy and difficult in the cramped
bathroom. The semi-studio apartment was far from accommodating when visitors
came. Perhaps that said something about him? Dismissing the thought, he dried
off and slid on the black pants and tee shirt. The look he received when he
came into the living room was nothing if not forward, but he calculated that it
was due to the fact that she�d never really seen him quite that naked. Once or
twice she�d seen him in a dress shirt and slacks, and she knew full well about
his favored gauntlet, but never in a short sleeved shirt with bare feet.
Interesting how she seemed to smile even through the sadness tugging at her
eyes.
�Much better,� she said as
cheerily as she could manage.
He nodded, moving into the
kitchen to pour a bit of water into the kettle. The sound of the tap water
filling the kettle drown his thoughts a moment, but he turned the lever as soon
as the water met the half way point. The kettle was set with a distinct clink,
the stove igniting beneath the metal. There was one thing he knew would send
the chill away and perhaps even bring a lengthier smile back to that pretty
face.
Waiting for the water to
boil, he came around the counter and leaned against it as she had done when she
first came inside. He ventured a glance toward her, hoping to see something
more than a frown and downcast eyes. She heaved a sigh, shoulders sloping
downward as he watched.
�Did he leave?� he asked,
watching a dry smirk form on her lips.
�Wouldn�t that be easier,�
she said with a faint breathed laugh. Routine was always predictable and easy.
�Actually, this time I left.�
This was a new
development. Several times she�d called to work things out in her mind after
Cloud would wander off. Once or twice, she even came over to escape the
loneliness she was left to. Never had she left him there, at Seventh
Heaven. �What happened?� he asked, listening to the water as it began to bubble
meekly.
She met his gaze, �I guess
I got fed up. I don�t know what came over me, but I got up and thought �I
should just leave.�� A dejected smile followed her words, a chaser to a sour
statement.
�And the bar?� he queried.
He could imagine her frustration with Cloud, but the bar was her livelihood.
And what about� �the kids?�
�They�re sleeping, of
course. Luckily, Barret�s will be there in the morning to take them for a week.
The bar� he�ll manage it,� she replied without missing a beat. Clearly, this
had been coming for longer than she let on.
The kettle interrupted
with a shrill cry, and he abandoned the conversation to shut off the stove. The
cry faded as he brought two mugs over and poured a bit of cocoa into each. Tifa
usually preferred milk to water, but he was fresh out. He carefully poured the
water in and stirred the contents with a spoon lifted from the silver ware
drawer.
He carried the steaming
mugs over to the bed and held one out to her, which she gracefully accepted.
�Thanks, I needed this.� Another fleeting smile, but encouragement enough. And
what, pray tell, did she need? The hot cocoa, or his company?
He sat beside her,
dangling one leg lazily off the bed while crooking the other to create a perch
for his elbow. The mug rested between bare fingers, his eyes settling once
again on hers.
�This is all rash, I know�
he�ll have no idea where I�ve gone,� she brought the mug to her lips and blew
on the hot cocoa, watching the steam drift listlessly in the breeze she
created.
�Sometimes that�s
necessary,� he added. Decisions often needed to be hastily made, unless one
desired to drift endlessly on indecision.
�I guess,� she nodded,
sipping her first taste of the warm drink.
He watched her curiously,
knowing that if he�d failed to make it correctly, she�d give that tell tale
face she always had when something tasted off. When she sighed
indulgently and smiled, he realized he�d mixed the right amount of cocoa in.
�What will you do now?�
A fair question, but one
she obviously was not prepared to answer. She shrugged and let the mug lower
into her lap, staring absently at the opposite wall. �I� I don�t know.�
This was so unlike her,
and yet so justified. A woman could only be pushed so far before emotions shut
down and things stopped working. He was suddenly angry with Cloud for putting
her in such a state, but the emotion was unjustified. The boy likely hadn�t a
clue what he�d done to her. He was fairly ignorant to some of the more delicate
things in life, and several times he�d sent her whirling in a fix of disarray.
�Vincent�� she began,
looking toward him with moistened eyes. He encouraged her by nodding, his head
titled downward. �Can I� stay here tonight?�
The question caught him
off guard. It occurred to him that she really didn�t have anywhere else to go,
and staying at the inn would be rather lonely. He didn�t much feel like driving
to Edge, though Kalm was not too far in distance. That left but one option, and
she�d clearly found that most appealing.
As if she felt the need to
justify the question and break the hanging silence, she added �I don�t want to
be alone�� Her bottom lip quivered ever so slightly, but he caught it. A
glistening tear hung dangerously close to the corner of her eye, but she pushed
it away with a quick hand.
That was quite compelling,
to say the least. Understandably, she had no desire to lie in a cold bed and
think about what had transpired earlier in the evening. She�d stayed over once
before, when she�d come for the festival and consumed a little too much of the
spiked punch to make it home. However, that night she�d been loud and nearly
disturbed half the building before he coaxed her into going to bed. It really
wasn�t too much to ask, though for some inexplicable reason, he felt as if he
were wedged in a predicament. Nevertheless, he agreed. �You can stay��
�I appreciate it,� she
forced a smile and resumed to sipping from the mug. He took a sip himself this
time, enjoying the way the rich chocolate flooded his mouth and caressed his
tongue before continuing to warm his stomach.
�So what made you leave?�
There was no avoiding the fact that she�d need to get this off her chest before
making any attempt to sleep. Besides, he wanted to listen to whatever she had
to say, just to hear her speak in that animated, lovely voice. It was then he
realized how much he enjoyed her company. She was always full of interesting
conversation and oddly insightful musings. Perhaps seeing her more often in the
past year and a half, since Cloud started back up with those unreliable ways,
had worn on his stubborn soul.
�A lot of things, I
suppose. It built for so long� you know? I don�t know why I kept taking him
back through all the stages of disappearance. Lately, he�s been coming home
late with remnants of dust or flower pollen. And the smell is unmistakable,�
she shook her head, downing a gulp of cocoa as if he�d spiked it with something
to dull the pain.
�It�s easy to fall back on
things that are comfortable,� he mused. That was close to the truth for any
human being. Routine, pattern, addiction� they were all comfortable ways to
deal with every day life. �So he�s been at the church?�
�Of course. I asked him�
back when I found out he had Geostigma, whether it would be a memory� or us. I
guess I didn�t want to see the answer, since it didn�t fit my hopes and
expectations. But here I am, over three years later� still asking him the same
question every night.� At this, she gave an indignant laugh. As if there were
any humor to be found in the hard truth she�d just voiced.
�I�m sorry,� was all he
could think to say. There were many things drifting by on the tip of his
tongue, but it was as if razor blades and rose in his throat, forbidding him to
voice any of the questions or bits of thought. She already knew most everything
he might say, this situation was nothing new.
Why did people always
cling to those who hurt them most? It was a self destructive path quite common
in the present day, and he pondered the reasons for such an affliction. The
idea that Tifa would stay around through all of Cloud�s odd habits and
destructive patterns was a mystery to him.
�Well�� she started, her
speech interrupted by a wide yawn which she politely covered with a fisted
hand. �I really don�t want to think about this any more.�
He noticed the tenderness
of the reddened skin beneath her eyes, and judging by the second yawn she
exhaled in a matter of minutes, she must have been physically and emotionally
exhausted. Before he could ask if she felt like going to sleep, she set her mug
on the end table and faced him almost nervously.
�Vince�?� she asked, as if
the next words would somehow damage him.
�Tifa�� he replied,
narrowing his eyes reflexively.
�Are you sure I�m not
imposing?� she asked timidly. Always worrying about others. That must be a
tiring existence.
�I�m sure,� he replied
with a faint smile.
�Then� can I ask you a
question?� He should have predicted that.
�Go ahead��
�Have you ever found
peace? I mean� truly?� She looked at him with such dire emotion, he felt as if
he were beneath a magnifying glass. And where did this come from? Was she
actually concerned for her future� or perhaps wondering whether she�d ever find
an end to this rocky relationship she�d relied on for nearly six years?
�Tifa� peace is an elusive
concept. To be at peace, one must know conflict.� He sipped the last of his
cocoa, wondering where it had gone during their conversation, and set the mug
away on the floor by the end of the bed.
Something must have been
funny, perhaps had a cocoa mustache? She laughed audibly and smiled, �And that
was an elusive answer.�
The sweet chorus of her
laughter did not last nearly as long as he wished it would, but perhaps he
would make her laugh some other time. For now, he was more concerned with the
way she�d just inched toward him on the mattress. Without any hint of
hesitation, she rested her head against his chest and draped an arm across his
leg, toying with a loose thread from his cotton pants. The innocent move toward
physical comfort did not catch him with frozen limbs, and he moved his hand to
stroke her back consolingly.
After a moment of silence,
she looked up at him, though she did not move away. �Thanks, Vincent�� she
whispered, looking quite content. The glassy tears that had shone in her Chianti
eyes had simply vanished, and he gloated inwardly to think that he�d aided her
in finding a little peace of her own.
�For?� he asked
nonchalantly.
�Oh, I don�t know� being
there right when I needed you?� she smiled brightly, and he realized just why
he had become her confidant in the first place.
�Well, would you prefer I
just send you back onto the streets?� He smirked shamelessly, letting her
realize that he was only being sarcastic.
�Smart ass,� she mumbled,
barely enough so that he could register the words. Another yawn came crashing
onto her and she hid her face near his collar bone, blowing the moist warmth
against his neck. The accidental affection sent a shiver crawling down his
spine, but he set that aside and looked to her with concern.
�You really should rest,�
he said, brushing his chin across the crown of her head.
�You�re probably right��
she inhaled a deep breath, and brushed her thumb against the delicate flesh
beneath her left eye. �I can barely see straight.�
He waited until she moved
away from him to stand, how ever reluctantly. As he began to gather the spare
blankets from the linen closet, she gave him quite the glare. �I don�t think
so, Vincent Valentine. You are not sleeping on the floor again,� she ordered.
He was in for it now. The
idea of sleeping with her wasn�t necessarily unappealing, but it brought to
light other things he was not prepared to think about. However, ignoring
a demand of Tifa�s was asking for a lot more than he felt like bargaining. He
settled the blankets back on the shelf and shut the cabinet door. She was
already inching beneath his messy blankets, burying her head against the pillow
when he turned back toward the bed.
With an inaudible sigh, he
pulled back the covers and climbed in beside her. The bed was hardly larger
than a twin, and the space between them was made even less as she cuddled in
beside him. The tips of her fingers graced the raised flesh of a scar on his
arm from peak to tip, trailing feather light across his skin until she tangled
her fingers with his. He breathed a deep breath, letting his fingers join with
hers.
Within minutes, her
breathing had evened out and he supposed that she�d fallen into slumber. He
idly let his thoughts drift as he lay beside her, wondering what tomorrow might
bring. For a moment, he wished she�d just let Cloud go�
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Well, there it is. I
couldn�t possibly have played Dirge without stumbling into the desire to write
a little bit of fiction. Vincent was marvelous, and of course� so evolved my
latest creation based more on his personality in the game and also a bit from
Advent Children. Tifa may have seemed down here, but that�s to be expected as
she�s likely hit rock bottom on this Cloud mess.
Why is it always raining
in my fictions? Well, for one�it aided the plot of this first chapter. But as
you might have guessed, I�m obsessed with storms and rainy weather. I just love
the smell of rain and the sound of thunder. It�s also quite romantic. I swear,
one day I�ll write sunshine� but for now, it was necessary ;)
I began this as a
one-shot, but now I have ideas flooding in and a strong pull to spawn a
multi-chapter fiction. Shall I? Suggestions, comments and the like would be
much appreciated. Thanks for reading!
-- Randi --
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The Art of Insomnia