The Guilty Party | By : WonderMint Category: Final Fantasy XIV > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1849 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy FFXIV: ARR is owned by Square Enix and based on the creation of Hironobu Sakaguchi. May they ever walk in the light of the crystal. I own no right to the characters and settings herein and seek no profit therefrom. |
A/N: There have been some questions about pairings. When I first posted it, it didn't occur to me that the pairings would be much of an issue, since for me it isn't about romance. The characters do certainly have some complex feelings on the matter, of course, which will become clear in later chapters. All three potential pairings in the Aymeric/Haurchefant/WoL triangle are present in some way. I'm leaving the details as a surprise, except to say that I won't be writing any Haurchefant/WoL sex here. The tags only indicate explicit content.
The real action involves balloons. Subsequent chapters will involve conventional sex as well, but it will ALL be primarily about balloons. This isn't just light kink, it's a fetish in its own right. That being said, I've written it with the intention of accessibility from either side. I would really appreciate it if you let me know what you think, whether you share the fetish or merely wandered in for the sex.
Warnings: masturbation, inflation, popping. The pop occurs near the end of the chapter. The characters will warn you shortly before it occurs, so if you'd really like, you can read until then and then pretend the rest doesn't happen I am trying to figure out if there's a good way to strip popping out of these without re-writing them entirely or driving myself crazy, and where I might post them if so. If this is something you feel like you need, even if it's just redacted, drop me a note and I will take it into consideration.
Back in the safety of his private room, far away from Haurchefant's own, Aymeric could only stare at the bag in apprehension. It lay limply on the table, next to the adventurer's grinning earring, neither offering any solution as to the reason for Aymeric's agitation. It was almost an insult. The Lord Commander prided himself on his self-control and focus, and he did not enjoy being deprived of either, especially by some dumb, mute, inanimate thing.
And yet, here it was. A bag of latex baubles, which he had so coveted in the banquet hall, now mocked him from the safety of his own tea table. He had thought once he had secreted the things away, their use would become clear, and he might begin to tidy the chaos in his mind and reorder it into the neat, untroubled stacks of thoughts that mirrored the work upon his desk. Instead his anxiety and fear remained foremost in his mind. He should have drawn one from the bag by now, perhaps attempted to inflate it. It should not have been a difficult task. But he could not bring himself to attempt it, could not willingly flirt with danger.
It should have been the simplest thing in the world. A children's toy, an inert product of alchemical science. But even removed from Hikari's clever fingers, it seemed as daunting a foe as Aymeric had ever faced.
Before he worked up the courage to either investigate further or toss it in the fire, there was a knock at the door. It was not entirely unexpected, but it made him jump all the same, made his hands tremble uselessly in his lap as he licked his lips and wondered how to respond. But after taking a steadying breath, his eyes alighted once again on the earring on the table, and so he picked it up and stood to greet his guest.
Then he stopped. His eyes traveled instead to the bag of balloons, and he felt suddenly exposed. So he obeyed the paranoid impulse that made his fingers twitch, and stuffed the bag between the cushions of the couch. It was irrational, but he was prone to irrational thoughts of late, and was at least relieved that the action brought him a small measure of peace.
He approached the door, but stopped just short of opening it. Instead he leaned his forehead against the cool polished wood. “Who is it?” he called, hardly having to feign the exhaustion in his voice. He wished he could simply go to sleep and wake up the same as he ever was. Unharried by strange urges, resolute in his focus.
“Hey, uh, it's me,” came a familiar voice. “I dropped my earring earlier, I was wondering if you happened to find it?” It was stilted and awkward, and a little shy. It reflected Aymeric's inner turmoil just enough that he pulled open the door, staring out through the crack at the man on the other side and wondering if he truly wanted the visitor for whom he had evidently volunteered.
In the hallway, wearing an expression of cautious concern, was Hikari. Slayer of primals, do-gooder extroardinaire, man of uncertain allegiance and no steady employment, persona-non-grata in every hall of government and diplomatic office save any that truly mattered.
The Warrior of Light.
As he had when he had left the earring for Aymeric to take or leave, Hikari had left him a choice. The bomb-shaped earring was in his hand, smooth and cool against his palm, the curved silver hook dangling beneath. He could merely hand it over, close the door, and the adventurer would trouble him no more.
“Or I could come in for a little while, if you wanted to talk. You seem like you have something on your mind,” Hikari said quietly, as though answering Aymeric's very thoughts. His deep blue eyes were as soulful as ever, seeming to flicker over the knight's face with gentle care and take note even of the feelings he'd kept carefully hidden.
Anxiety stirred within his breast. He was feeling jittery, exposed, even through the narrow beam of light that shone from the hallway and played across his body in the darkened room. He licked his lips, opening the door slightly wider only to stare down the hallway. There were no enemies in sight, but wariness and confusion still thrummed through his blood.
“I've uh, put Cherry to bed. She had too much cake,” explained the adventurer through a soft grin. As if his surface amusement were obscuring some other emotion, a figure lurking behind stained glass. Yes, that was what had been missing, the little kinderbomb. Of course the adventurer would have named it... and assigned it a gender... and fed it cake... and tucked it into bed like a child's doll. It was all quite natural.
It was what Haurchefant would have done, after all.
Aymeric scowled darkly, misliking the reminder of his sin and not entirely sure why it made him want to lash out and strike the other man. He wished they would just get over whatever strange courtship they were contemplating and lie together already, so he could stop thinking about it and stop feeling like he had crushed the one good thing he'd ever known.
He had too many feelings to keep hold of at once. It was not the adventurer's fault, he was only trying to help. But he felt put upon from all sides, and he was not far removed from his fear. So, tasting the sting of surrender, he extended his hand through the crack in the door. He should perhaps have said something. But he could not even manage that, merely handing over the earring with the grinding of his teeth and a sticky feeling in the back of his throat.
It was all he could manage not to glare at Hikari as though the man had been the source of his confusion in the flesh.
“Thank you,” said the adventurer softly, letting his brows dip only briefly in sadness. “Let me know if you change your mind, 'kay?” And he merely stood regretfully by while the commander quietly closed the door on the one person who seemed to understand his madness.
And then he was alone with his thoughts.
Aymeric needed to be alone with his thoughts. He needed to chew them into manageable chunks and begin to understand what he was thinking. But they roiled like snakes, refused to hold still to let him think. He leaned helplessly against the door, his hand still frozen to the deadbolt that he had thought would secure his safety but in reality only locked him into the terror of his own mind.
And he remembered the bag, and his strange, unfamiliar feelings, and he remembered that he had hoped Hikari could shed light on his troubles. While he no longer felt the unease of the other man's eyes upon him, a part of him was disappointed that he would not be getting help from the adventurer after all.
It was ridiculous, of course. There was no way that the Hyur even knew the source of the problem, much less could shed any light on how to cure his madness.
And yet Hikari had seemed to know something, watching him all through the night, and appearing like a phantom at the moment of his greatest distress. He had watched him with quiet gravity, as if he knew just how much his soul was tormented. And then, at the last moment, he had left Aymeric alone. He had given him the object of his fixation and the means to call for help, and then allowed him to retreat like a wounded bear to his den, to lick his wounds and growl out his pain.
But the strangest piece of the puzzle by far... was that the man had been playing with the balloons. No-one else in the hall had seemed to quite understand their haunting allure, not even the children who tied them to their toy knights and pretended they were airships. But Hikari had seemed to understand, seemed to know, seemed to delight in it. Seemed to sympathize, as if he had somehow known the reason Aymeric had chosen to view them from the shadows rather than risking a touch that he feared might well burn him alive.
No. If anyone could help him, it was the Warrior of Light. He didn't want the man to view him unfavorably, but he had already proven that he would not. He was too kind, too empathetic, too pure and good. Too damn helpful, as if his spirit were ever drawn to people in need, and could be nourished only by soothing their ills.
He could at least give him a chance. It had been only a few minutes, perchance he had not gone far. The commander certainly hadn't, leaning startlingly bare shoulders against the smooth lacquered wood like a dog waiting for his master to open it. He shook himself to action, throwing open bolt and door both, and bounding into the hall as if there he might find his sanity. He didn't see the warrior, which wasn't that surprising. There had been ample time for him to disappear down the corridor and into the cold night, perhaps to the dining hall... or to Haurchefant's chambers.
There was a bare moment of indecision in which Aymeric debated whether to charge after him, or disappear once again into his den. It was a much harder choice than he would have anticipated, a blanket of silent dread falling upon him at the idea of facing his problem alone, even as he misliked the prospect of going fishing for the man in public where any passing pair of eyes might read his vivid distress.
He was saved from the choice. Only a few seconds of blank panic passed before the knight heard a quiet cough, and he turned to see Hikari leaning casually against the wall by the door. He had missed the Hyur only because he had turned the other way down the hall, expecting to see him in the direction of the exit, rather than the dead-end passage further into the guest quarters.
The adventurer grinned, softly, happily. Triumph, but triumph shared, rather than prized from a foe. “Hey there. You up for that talk, then?” He shifted his bent knee to set both feet solidly upon the ground, but stayed where he was. Waiting, it seemed, for an invitation.
Even then, Aymeric was loathe to give it. His quarters were his final refuge, the place where, if all else failed, he could lie in wait for his madness to pass, secure that none would know his torment. But loneliness had not helped him. It had multiplied his suffering like echoes in an empty hall.
If necessary, he could ask Hikari to leave. In theory, having the man inside his room was little different from the present situation, because if he had truly wanted to make a nuisance of himself, it was like that the door would not stop him. The commander had a suspicion that even when it was not visible, the axe was not far from the warrior's grasp.
And so, grimacing only slightly and taking one final glance down the hall, Aymeric granted the permission the warrior sought. He nodded once, lightning-quick, as if by its speed he could temper the reality that he was admitting a potential threat to his only refuge.
This time he locked the door with the adventurer within, and for some reason he counted himself less afrighted for it.
Hikari had not seemed overly ruffled in the corridor, had appeared to be his usual, easygoing self. But here in Aymeric's room he was visibly more relaxed, moving languidly like a coeurl. “Thanks, I know how hard this is,” he said. “You won't regret it, I swear.” He walked further into the room and flopped onto the couch by the fire, an artless motion that was somehow so casual as to seem poetic.
The adventurer was the realm's strongest warrior, his might uplifiting or condemning entire nations. Yet he was still nothing but a boorish sellsword, no better than a Limsan pirate in manner and taste. The knight sometimes forgot that, owing mostly to the Hyur's wise habit of letting Alphinaud do the talking for him. As if to prove it, he shifted on the couch and tipped his head back, looking at Aymeric upside-down over the chair's back. He patted the top of the cushion beside him, as if inviting a cat to sit in his lap.
Aymeric closed his eyes to compose himself, fighting away his uneasiness before stepping toward the couch. He rested his hands against the back and stared impassively down at the man who might have been his salvation, wearing his cool expression like a mask. Beneath it, he fairly trembled.
“You behave as if you know mine troubles,” Aymeric said, edging cautiously around his unease. Perhaps he needn't fear this man, an outsider, who cared little for convention or holiness. But he would throw himself into the Witchdrop ere he freely admitted his infatuation, to man, beast, or adventurer.
“It's the balloons, of course,” volunteered the latter option, his voice rising in answer rather than humor. “They affect you, and now you're all confused. You brought the bag I gave you, right? Let's see.” And he gestured toward the cushion again, and this time Aymeric was out of reasons for resisting the invitation.
The low growl he emitted was less in anger and more a matter of his own discomfort, like the snapping of ice before the thaw. The surreality of the night had truly reached a fever pitch. It was like a dream, where matters of no import were imbued with foreign significance, and his actions were guided by a conviction and gravity that would be ridiculous in the light of day. Idly, he wondered if he would wake soon. But he moved around the couch and sat down limply, Hikari's pronouncement having taken all fight from him and leaving him like a marionette with cut strings. He laid his bones heavily against the cushions and closed his eyes to think. Hikari left him a broad swathe of silence in which to do it, a privacy of the mind in which he could order his thoughts in peace. The warrior merely turned sideways to face him, lifting one leg to cross beneath him on the cushion and draping an arm over the back of the couch.
Aymeric had known it all along, really. If he trusted Hikari to care for Haurchefant, he trusted him well enough to hold his own secrets. Even those that threatened to unseat his very sanity. With a resigned sigh, he reached to his side and fished out the bag from betwixt the cushions, hesitantly placing it in Hikari's hand. And he tried, just a little, to hope that the man could help him.
“How did you know? I do not even understand it mineself,” asked the knight, his eyes lingering overlong as the bag left his fingers. He needed answers, and it was a place to start.
“Hmm,” mused the Hyur, flashing a winning smile at the gesture of trust even as he regarded him thoughtfully. “It takes a rogue to catch a rogue, let's say.” He seemed to be watching the knight carefully, scrutinizing him with his echoing blue eyes, watching his every movement. “I was watching you, you know. I saw things that most people wouldn't notice.” He dipped his fingers into the bag and hesitated a moment before plucking out a reddish balloon, his eyes never leaving Aymeric's, as though he might vanish if he looked away. “You seemed awfully interested in these, after all. I'm not sure you spent five whole minutes looking at anything else. Is this the first time you've seen one?”
Aymeric found his mouth was suddenly very dry, and that he could not, or did not wish to, meet the other man's gaze. The balloon filled his attention, leaving hardly enough room for him to process Hikari's words. “... Yes,” he answered at length, only when it became clear that the man was waiting on an answer.
“Makes sense, otherwise you might have known what to expect,” the warrior mused. “So then you spent the night skulking around in the shadows, like a dog in a butcher shop. Every time I looked at you, you tried to find a new place to hide. After that pop...” the adventurer looked suddenly to the side, a guilty sort of grin creeping along his mouth as though laughing at a dirty joke, “I thought for sure you were going to run for it. And you did, at that, the moment I turned my back on a few. You high-tailed it out of there like you thought you'd be arrested. Not even a word to the birthday-boy.”
Aymeric blushed and nodded, brought to shame by the accuracy of the description and the recollection of the burst balloon. The last thing he'd wanted to do was to cause Haurchefant more distress, but what he had felt at that moment had been so frightening and profound that he could only have fled. He tore his eyes away from the red blob of latex, if only to scry the measure of the Hyur's sympathy. It was absolute, no ridicule in the man's gaze, only a sad sort of recognition.
Hikari finally allowed his attention to wander, to the selfsame object that had so captivated the knight. He was regarding it softly, almost in a daze, as if he saw something else entirely. When he continued to speak, it was in a whisper so dark it made the knight shiver.
“What were you planning on doing with them?”
Aymeric took a deep breath, one final note of confirmation before charging into the brink. He no longer had any doubt that Hikari understood his madness. “Nothing,” he answered honestly. “I haven't a clue what is happening to me.” His trembling sigh spoke volumes, frightened and bewildered and utterly lost.
Hikari nodded, his suspicions apparently confirmed. He regarded the knight seriously for a few long moments, seeming to be thinking over some weighty matter. He worried at his lower lip with his teeth while he stared at some point on the couch between them, barely seeming to register the silken latex he rubbed between his fingers.
Then he seemed to come to a conclusion. The concerned creases disappeared from around his eyes, and all signs of his inner conflict seemed to disappear. He looked at peace with himself, the vision of virtue he was sometimes imagined to be. “I could help you,” he said slowly, as if he might frighten a deer. “I went through all of this years ago, and it was hell. But I was alone, and a scared, stupid kid. You don't have to do this alone, if you don't want to. I can help you. But you need to promise that if you ever need me to stop, or give you space, you'll tell me. Can you do that?”
Aymeric blinked, taken aback by the gravity of the request, and the seriousness with which the Hyur delivered it. He was gentle, it was true, doing everything within his power to give no threat. But while his face was mild and his words were caring, there was a hard set to his jaw, and not a drop of humor in the oceans of his eyes. At some point he had leaned forward so subtly that the knight could nearly have missed it, and his fist was clenched around the toy that had caused him such grief. Even in his colorful yukata, Hikari was revealed as the fearsome warrior he was. This was the face worn by the Warrior of Light, when he raised his axe to defend his friends.
There could be no doubt that he would protect Aymeric, too, and the sight of the other man's resolve brought him a measure of peace even as his words sounded warning. “Yes,” he said at last. His heart panged loudly in anticipation, like a bolt thrown into an airship's propeller. He was frightened, it was true. But he was also glad that there might yet be some vantage from which the labyrinth might become navigable, and that Hikari had offered to become his guide.
The man gave him a tiny smile, but looked away as he did it, clearing his throat awkwardly. It was an oddly shy gesture from a man who was frequently larger than life and without fear or deference.
“Full disclosure,” he declared, still refusing to meet the knight's eyes. He shifted on the couch again, setting both his feet upon the floor and crossing his arms before him protectively. “I am very attracted to you. But that doesn't have to mean anything here. It's not about me.” He turned his head towards Aymeric once more, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. He trailed his eyes upwards almost guiltily, as if he felt he needed permission to look upon the commander.
The knight felt perhaps he should have been shocked, but given the odd events of the day it was hardly a surprise. He had always known of Haurchefant's desire for him, and he had suspected Hikari might have been of a similar persuasion. That the Hyur found him attractive as well hardly merited the level of annoyance at this point.
That did not stop him from reacting. But his flush passed quickly, but he looked away regardless, focusing on the low crackle of the fire before the table. “I fail to see the point of your confession. I am no priest,” Aymeric said, though he failed to keep the nervous rumble from his voice.
Hikari's face cracked into a wide smile, glad to receive the jest. “I just thought I'd lay my cards on the table. It is relevant though,” he said, his features relaxing once again, returning to business and no longer quite so vulnerable in his manner. “I'm not sure how experienced you are, but given the circumstances, I don't blame you for being confused. What you are experiencing is sexual attraction.”
Aymeric had not been startled before. But he was now.
“I do not—that is, I have never,” he fumbled, suddenly dismayed all over again. His words escaped him like mice running into their holes, and though he grasped at them with his fingers there was naught that he could do. Save one thing, that is. He could certainly blush.
“It's alright,” soothed Hikari, one hand raised, palm-outward, to placate. “I'm not going to judge you. Never. And if anybody else tries to make you ashamed, I swear to you I'll hit them so hard they'll think I summoned Titan.” He flashed a grin, gentle enough that it was well apparent that the man was not laughing at him. And so Aymeric relaxed a trice, closing his eyes and breathing deeply through his nose.
He trusted Hikari. He might have thought, before now, that it was a professional trust, one warrior to another, a protector to an equal. But now, he realized, that the adventurer's need to protect was not merely one of a strong arm and a thirst for danger. He cared, and deeply. He cared like Haurchefant cared, like Aymeric cared. And with a heart as big as his axe, there truly was no cause for him to fear.
He opened his pale eyes again. The other man had tilted his head to the side to peer up into his lowered face, a boyish expression of hope highlighting once more his fairness and youth. “I do not experience such things,” said Aymeric calmly, willing his body to relax though he bared his soul. “Would that I could. But even when I wish that I could love, I cannot, and now I fear I reap the rewards for breaking a dear friend's heart.”
It was not as if he did not feel arousal. But it was never in response to any particular stimulus. Pretty smiles and tight clothing did nothing for him, no matter how shapely the bosom or curved the hips. It happened, on occasion, that his body reminded him that he was male. He had learned to calm it with physical action, a mere bodily function that required periodic attention. There was never any desire to it. There was never any goal he yearned for, no touch of lips or warmth of flesh.
The adventurer's smile morphed subtly, to one of gentle empathy. It was almost pity, only Aymeric could not derive condescension from the care in his eyes. “Yes, Haurchefant mentioned he kissed you,” he said wistfully. “I don't blame him, really. But you shouldn't feel bad for turning him down. You can't help how you feel.”
The knight's long, hawkish eyes sharpened like mythrite daggers. “And I am certain you derive no benefit from his loss,” he said. He was proud to have kept the threatening growl from his voice. But for no discernible reason, he had nearly wanted to snarl.
But this time, it was Hikari who blushed, raising a hand behind his head and ruffling the short sandy hair to look even more careless than it already was. “I uh, admit I might be hoping for something like that,” he replied, his voice gone a little squeaky and bright as he looked anywhere but at Aymeric. “I mean he's been after me for ages, but yeah, I was thinking...”
He finally found his way back to look upon the knight's face, still a little flushed, grinning more in embarrassment than anything else. And somehow his canny eyes softened even more to behold him, and his grin became almost sad. “I haven't said anything yet. I was planning to, but... listen. You're more important right now. I won't tell him anything about this, that's up to you to decide. But he would understand. He cares about you, too.”
Aymeric quirked an eyebrow in confusion, beguiled once again by the adventurer's openness and vulnerability, such that when the silence yawned once again into the dim night, he wasn't quite certain he had understood all that had been said. He blinked a few times, warily. “What is... 'this'?” he finally ventured, letting his eyes once again rest solely on the red balloon that the warrior had never stopped caressing with nimble fingers.
“Oh,” said Hikari, an octave lower and unsteadily, as if he'd been startled straight into arousal. He seemed to be looking at the balloon in surprise, now, seeming nearly as awed by it as Aymeric felt. He looked young, then, not merely handsome but frail, not the terror of legend but a mere boy discovering himself for the first time. “'This' is... well,” he coughed awkwardly, clearing his throat of gravel. “It's... the most arousing thing in the whole wide world. And... if you trust me, I can show you without even touching you. If you want.”
When the warrior looked back up at him and licked his lips with a quick dart of his tongue, Aymeric was certain the Hyur wanted it as badly as he did. Yet it was not a request. It was only an offer, gentle blue eyes wide and earnest, head lowered to present no challenge.
The knight swallowed a quick intake of breath at the audacity of the statement, but he realized quickly that he should not have been much surprised. Hikari had been giving him hints and offers the entire time, leaving a breadcrumb trail around the idea and letting him circle slowly toward it. Now that he beheld the gingerbread house, he was certainly stunned. But the fear had bled slowly from him already, and he was left only with the temptation, and the trust that the Warrior of Light would see him to safety no matter what transpired.
He had broken Haurchefant's heart because he had been unable to love him as he deserved. He did not feel worthy of Hikari's understanding, but mayhap he was not as broken as he feared.
Or perhaps he was merely deceiving himself into breaking his dear friend's heart a second time.
“Haurchefant,” he said, his voice breaking and choking off any other objection he might have had. He would not take even his solace, not deny him a second chance at happiness.
Hikari's brows furrowed, drawing together in sympathy and perhaps a little pain. “If you want to tell him later, he'll understand. But this doesn't have to change anything between us—between any of us. I just don't want you to be afraid. I want to help you understand and accept it, if I can. I don't ever want you to feel ashamed of yourself. Ever.”
A tiny, caring smile was visible on the adventurer's lips, visible more from the shadow cast by the firelight than the actual curve of his expressive mouth. Somehow, Aymeric was so convinced by the plain emotions showing through his sea-bright eyes and the emphatic lilt of his strangely-accented voice that it seemed reasonable to give up his self-recriminations.. Hikari wanted to guard his happiness. In that moment, the knight wanted nothing more than to grant his desire.
“I know not what it is that you offer,” said Aymeric slowly, giving no disguise to his own frailty. “But if you have the power to calm mine fear, I would accept. I trust you.”
Hikari smiled so broadly that for a moment he seemed to be nothing but teeth. “Thanks. I know just how hard that is.” It might have been a sinister sight from Haurchefant, but the adventurer held a note of tenderness and caution in his gaze that made fear quite impossible. Yes. He trusted him. Though he was likely a fool for doing so.
Instead of speaking further, the man moved from the couch to the smaller armchair by the fire, gaining a little distance and making the air in the room feel a little less constricting. He took a moment to settle himself, slouching languidly once more, resting one boot on the edge of the low tea table and unleashing the other leg to stretch carelessly. Aymeric hardly had time to be puzzled at the reason for the distance, as the adventurer held aloft the balloon that he had worried so long in his hand.
The knight no longer had any room in his mind for thoughts.
He stretched it out quickly, holding it in both hands and tugging a few times, an action that made questions spring up like dandelions in the summer, and then blow away in the wind. He started to raise it to his lips, catching the Elezen's gaze for a quick moment, and then... he stopped. And perhaps he even blushed, a quick flash of pink that vanished soon after.
“Just relax,” he said through a coy grin. “You can tell me to stop at any time.”
And then the red balloon was raised to Hikari's lips. The little ridge at the opening was slipped into his mouth, and he thought he saw a flash of the man's tongue for a moment before his lips closed around it, holding it tight. He held the neck loosely between two fingers, and then he inhaled and blew. One swift, long note of breath, and Aymeric felt as if he needed to gasp as if the breath were his own exhale and his lungs had been forcibly emptied.
All at once the little globe was filled, oddly-shaped, mottled and irregular. It made his heart do a somersault just the same, and it carried on beating as though it had broken into a run once it was righted again. The warrior had stopped looking at him at some point, eyes lowered demurely and fixed on the balloon. The light that played on his face had acquired a reddish cast, making him look as if he had broken out in a full blush, making the action seem even more flirtatious and daring than it already felt. His lips parted and glistened in the firelight, but for whatever reason no air escaped the little ball.
He released his hold on the neck and moved it to steady the back of the balloon, and Aymeric knew without a doubt that Hikari was as skilled with a balloon as he was with an axe. And he was enthralled by it.
The man's eyes wandered to his for a moment, that odd shy glance that seemed so strange on the rough-and-ready warrior, and suddenly the knight became aware that the rouge on his cheeks was not all a trick of the light. It was possible that there was another blush nearby, but Aymeric was quite distracted.
Another sharp intake of breath, and this time the knight reflexively matched it. The next exhale easily doubled the size of the balloon, now largely translucent and seeming to glow in the firelight. Hikari was once again shyly averting his gaze, and this time the next breath came quickly. The exhale was prolonged, though, and this time he could truly see the expansion and growth. It had been too quick before, and he greedily drank in the sight. The balloon shined now, glistened and sparkled with every movement.
He was feeling something. It was filling the corners of his mind, making him feel a little muddy and confused, but the balloon was more important just now. The room had melted away, leaving only the latex and the man who made it sing.
Another breath, in quick and out so slow, and this time Hikari turned to the side, arching his neck and exposing his jaw, so that he could see the entire shape grow in profile. It was fully round now, almost a teardrop, the size of a man's head or slightly larger. The hand that steadied the object retreated, stroking along the side and winding to the narrow neck to pinch it closed.
Aymeric sighed, and only when the other man turned to him with a coy smile did he realize it was disappointment that he felt.
“So,” he said, a breathless whisper that seemed to echo Aymeric's own state. “Do you like it?” And before he could even take stock, the balloon was lowered to the man's lap and an arm wrapped around it protectively, the other still holding it securely closed.
For a moment all he could think about was whether that meant he was not done inflating it.
“I...” he floundered for a moment, words prompting him to thought rather than the reverse. “I feel most strange. Unfamiliar.” He swallowed around saliva that seemed too liquid in his mouth, unsure even whether he enjoyed the sensations. All he could truly say was that he was riveted to the sight.
“Excited?” The suggestion was not teasing in the least. The warrior was quite serious, his eyes soft and welcoming. Aymeric became aware that his own lips had parted and he was pulling short little gasps of air as though he were winded. He swallowed as soon as he became aware of it, trying to keep his mouth closed but succeeding only in running his tongue along his teeth. Hikari's eyes followed the movement, seeming to pant a little himself.
Yes. He was excited. It was an odd feeling, foreign, new. He closed his eyes and lay his head against the couch, trying to fight the feeling back, feeling as if he were batting at cobwebs and only tangling himself more. His trousers felt tight and constricting, a condition with which he was rarely afflicted. He was very excited. He was more excited than he'd ever been.
“Yes,” he said through his embarrassment, and all of his surprise and unsteadiness seemed to express themselves in his hoarse whisper. “This is... I have not felt this before.”
Hikari regarded him almost guiltily, letting his eyes trail along the length of his body and then looking away as if he could undo the action. Aymeric was beginning to have the distinct impression that he was being flirted with. Whatever strange, unholy thing the balloon was doing to him, seemed to have a similar effect on the warrior, making him blush as though he were courting a maiden. But the knight could not bring himself to care, too fascinated by the shining red balloon and the way it seemed hardly to give an ilm beneath the other man's strong hands.
The adventurer followed his eyes, and traced his fingers along the curve with a knowing smile. It made a soft whispering sound, only squeaking at the end, and then he splayed his fingers out and pressed against the side. It dimpled around his hand only minutely, firm and unyielding. Aymeric emitted a tiny moan, biting his lip only after failing to contain it.
The man's eyes widened suddenly, as if he hadn't realized what he'd done until then. “Sorry, I forgot myself.” His throat bobbed visibly as he swallowed, looking away in shame and blushing softly. “I shouldn't toy with you like that, no matter how amazing you look right now. I have no right.”
“It's... quite alright,” Aymeric mumbled, somewhere beyond caring about the impropriety. He wasn't sure why. Maybe he just didn't want the adventurer to stop. Maybe the experience was so incredible that he didn't care that a man he respected but hardly knew was watching him come undone. He realized too late that he hadn't even attempted to hide his arousal, hands limp at his sides unless they had clutched at the leather of the armrest. He was completely exposed, vulnerable. Perhaps that hardly mattered, when the other man seemed to know precisely what he had been thinking the entire time.
He could not help but wonder, of course, why the other man seemed to know the balloon so intimately. It was not merely that he touched it like a lover. He touched it like an old flame whose body was so familiar that he could draw forth any reaction he pleased, though they had remained years apart.
The knight fought through his strange, vague desires. Speaking rationally took effort, like arguing in a dream. “It is not only I who feels this way,” he said. His voice didn't quite seem like his own. At some point it had gone low, dark, and warm, like the space beneath a blanket.
Hikari's eyes slid closed, and he gasped, his fingers twitching against the smooth latex enough to make Aymeric's heart jump in his throat. But the balloon did not pop. When the warrior's eyes fixed on him again, head bobbing faintly and lips parted to panting breath, the knight wondered perhaps if it might as well have.
“Fuck,” whispered the adventurer. “No, you're right. God fucking dammit, give me a minute.” He leaned back into the chair and spread his legs, clutching the balloon closer to himself and raising his hips. Aymeric realized he was thrusting slowly into the balloon, and if that wasn't the most amazing thing he had ever seen he was sure he would have remembered otherwise. The adventurer's lips had fallen open and his head lay backwards, an expression of pure bliss overtaking him as he moved. The boot that had rested so casually against the tea table was now providing leverage, the motion somehow not in imitation of but truly sex. He moaned wantonly, long, deep and low, and the knight seemed to hear the sound with his cock instead of his ears.
It was unbearably good. He squeezed his eyes shut to block out the sight, unable to control his reaction and unwilling to indulge his body. He only barely managed not to give voice to a reply, though whether it was pleasure at the sight or longing to experience it himself, he could not entirely say.
“Sorry,” he heard after a moment, and he opened his eyes. The Hyur was panting, a heavy blush on his cheeks, but he was holding the balloon away from himself now, where the light of the fire shined through it and made it seem to burn. “Was that too much? I guess I thought I could control myself a little better. Kinda hard to with it just sitting here. And God damn you have no idea...”
“No,” Aymeric answered quickly, too quickly for his pride. He was uncomfortable, yes, of course. He was ordinarily calm and in command of his every thought and movement. Suddenly happening upon something that ripped away his focus and replaced it with... desire... it was jarring in the extreme.
But that did not mean he wanted it to stop. His eyes were still locked solidly upon the toy in Hikari's hands, and he suspected he might have raised steel at anyone who tried to remove him from it. He licked his lips unconsciously, weighing the gravity of his decision in his mind.
He understood now why Hikari had admitted his attraction, why he had been so coy with his glances and careful with his words. He understood, now, that what they did was every bit as debauched as the tumble in the sheets that Haurchefant had once begged of him. But he had never been tempted by Haurchefant. He was tempted now, and more.
He let his ice-cool eyes, sharp but open like the pages of a well-worn book, trace up to the adventurer's face. He, too, seemed a little awed and surprised, a little out of his depth. He, too, seemed to feel the gravity of their situation, and reflect it in his boyish face.
He may have left the realm of temptation already. “Pray, show me,” said Aymeric at last. He could no longer muster any reason to hesitate. There were no other answers his tongue could give.
Hikari let his eyes slide half-closed in pleasure, matching the wanton breaths he still drew. He ran his tongue around his bottom lip as he regarded the knight. “God, the things I want to show you,” he growled. “If you want to touch yourself... it's okay. This is going to get intense.”
But instead of pulling it back to his lap, he drew it to his lips and met the balloon with his tongue. It was almost like a kiss, the way he pulled it back into his mouth and held the lip closed with his teeth. The way he slid his hands back to embrace and steady it was like a lover's caress, and Aymeric held his breath to wait for the inevitable hiss of inflation. When it came at last, a little shock ran through him, knocking the breath from his lungs in sympathy. The balloon continued to inflate, and its shape was slowly changing.
Oh yes, he did want to touch himself. But more than that, he wanted that balloon. He wanted it in his lap, as he'd seen Hikari hold it, and he wanted to see how it felt in his arms, against his lips. Oh Fury, against his cock.
He only realized he'd groaned when the man looked at him, not releasing the balloon but glancing at him sideways around it. It was beginning to elongate now, not quite as round. More of a teardrop. Hikari let one hand drop to his lap and pointedly pressed against it, stroking himself through his trousers and flexing his hips a little. His lips drew back, exposing his gripping teeth, and he let loose a high-pitched whine that echoed slightly in the balloon. It was a fuzzy, echoing sound, and it only amplified his desires.
The knight's hand was itching for something, needing to wander, to soothe the ache building in his groin. A chill informed him that his jaw had gone slack, and his gasping had drawn enough air to cool the saliva that seemed to cling to his teeth and tongue. Hikari took the opportunity to glance at him knowingly, still stroking himself with long, slow movements. It was a hot gaze, and for once in his life he knew he returned the desire.
It was not desire for the man, but it made no matter, because it was the man that was doing it to him. The feelings were overwhelming, almost profound in their hold on him. And the same pleasure was writ clearly on the warrior's face, their shared enjoyment an intimate act in itself.
He was seduced. It was as if Hikari had found some way to fuck him from across the room, and they hadn't even undressed. Aymeric was at his mercy, and he couldn't bring himself to care.
At long last his resistance was spent. His hand finally unclenched, a dim pain lingering in his palm where his nails had pressed overlong, and moved haltingly toward his lap. It was ridiculous to suppose that he could do so without the sharp-eyed warrior taking note, and when he did there was no more blood left to color his cheeks with shame. It was all there already, heat in his face, his chest, his groin. When he finally reached his target, stroking through the thick fabric with fingers trembling, it was like the first rain after a drought. The sensation was nearly sweet enough to taste, tingling through him in warm waves in a way he had neither experienced nor imagined. He could not hold back the groan as he pushed back clumsily against his palm, nearly sliding his eyes shut in pleasure. Nearly, but not quite, because he needed to see the sight before him as surely as he needed to breathe.
The adventurer responded, returning a long moan of appreciation that saw him collapse backwards against the cushions with a subtle arch of his spine. “That's it,” he said, around the balloon. “Don't be afraid to enjoy it.” His words were lisping and brassy from it, but low and sensual enough to make Aymeric glad to obey. And obey he did, because the other man gasped audibly for another breath, and he knew whither it was destined.
And he was right, of course, the delivery slow and sensual. Hikari was revealing the balloon slowly, like a long strip tease, and it was most effective. The globe was as full as it wanted to get, now, and it seemed to be reaching some tipping point, if the other man's excitement was any indication. He had paused in stroking himself to grasp it in both hands, pressing lightly on its sides. He still held the neck in his open lips, though now the knight could see the tip of the man's tongue blocking the mouth of the balloon, holding it closed with no effort while he breathed easily around it. If he hadn't already been aware that the man were making love to it, it would have been as obvious now as a pair of dragons rolling in the snow, in flagrante delicto.
And again, a little part of him thrilled at the skill he displayed. He wondered just what else the warrior had wanted to show him. But he was certain he would not last long enough to find out, even if he denied himself the comfort of his own touch.
The tipping point was passed with the next breath. Aymeric knew it, flicking his eyes raptly in anticipation from the sound and forgetting everything else in his fervor. Even his fingers stilled, unable to give him the contact he craved through the thick trousers and too inexperienced to give him what he needed. Hikari seemed to know as well, giving the knight a knowing little wink before beginning to blow, leaning into the balloon as if it were instead a ravenous kiss. The balloon responded to him, though it was a strange sight. The balloon responded to him by changing shape, the neck inflating with a sudden motion and elongating suggestively. It went from an egg to a teardrop to a pear, the newly inflated neck expanding at an astounding pace. The balloon was as large as it could possibly get, and Hikari was still pushing for more.
“Oh, yes,” the warrior whispered raggedly, more to it than to Aymeric. He pinched the neck closed with one hand and held it away to regard it, turning it this way and that in the soft light. The knight nodded anyway, causing sweat-beaded strands of hair to flop into his eyes. When had he begun to sweat? He swallowed dumbly, not sure if he should respond, demand to have it, or simply beg for more. He settled for meeting the adventurer's eyes, panting softly. Any words he had wanted to say emerged only as a vague, unfocused whinge.
The other man gave him a warm, sympathetic chuckle. “Yeah,” he said as if Aymeric had said something quite profound. “That usually works better without pants, by the way. Unless you want help?” He raised an eyebrow in a teasing gesture that reminded him a little of Haurchefant, and the knight supposed that perhaps that's where he had learnt it. That meant it was not necessarily a serious suggestion, unless his answer were 'yes.'
The thought had definite merit. He had no doubt whatsoever that Hikari would know precisely how to touch him, while he himself could barely manage it when given time and privacy enough to chase away his embarrassment. On the other hand, it wasn't what he wanted now. As pleasant as he imagined the warrior's touch to be, he needed to see that balloon. He didn't know why or to what end, but he needed it, like he had never needed anything in his life. He was quite certain it wouldn't matter how inept his own fingers proved to be, at that point. He was close to the precipice already, body coiled tight like the firm sides of the balloon, no-where left for the added pressure to go.
His lips fell open of their own accord, senseless even to the words he planned to say. “Don't stop,” he managed to force out, eyes squeezed tight against the pleasure that seemed to surge even without sight or touch. “Don't ever stop. Goddess...”
Hikari answered with a long moan, rather than the sharp intake of breath that Aymeric needed from him. “Be careful what you wish for,” he said thickly. He dropped a hand to his groin again and undid the buttons there, loosening the laces that kept his trousers in place and unbuckling his belt with a quick, perfunctory motion. He stopped short of drawing free his erection, instead dipping his hand below the band of his smallclothes with a careful eye on Aymeric as he worked.
The knight could see no reason to stop him. In fact, the narrow-eyed stare he returned may have served to goad the adventurer on.
The slow, involuntary slide of the warrior's eyelids told Aymeric everything he needed to know about what his hand was up to, as it moved beneath his shorts. The knight was surprised to find that that, too, was fascinating. It was not the balloon, but it made his cock twitch just a touch in sympathy, made him want to see the other man satisfied as well.
Hikari gasped a few breaths, his focus having escaped to the balloon pinched between his fingers rather than the knight watching him please himself. He bit his lip absently as he did so, in what could have been an effort at restraint.
“You saw me pop one already,” he said, tearing his gaze from it at last and shuddering under the force of a fresh movement of his wrist. “Is that what you want?”
“Do it,” was all Aymeric could growl. He had no more patience, just aching need.
Hikari's gasp was a living thing, audible from across the room and just as real as the balloon. The knight's eyes seemed to pounce upon the man, as if he could tear the breath from him by force. The adventurer nearly flinched, not in fear but pleasure, eyes sliding almost closed to look at him with sensual care. “Don't stop touching yourself,” he commanded. “Trust me.” He waited for Aymeric to comply, watching his hand stir to stroke himself quickly through his trousers. It was awkward, the friction nearly burning his hand with the repetitive motion, but it was just enough to make his cock twitch for more, make his body cry out now that he had a physical anchor for the pleasure he already felt. He found that the desire in the other man's eyes at the sight made the slight embarrassment worth it, almost as much as the enjoyment of the touch itself.
Satisfied, Hikari finally did as he asked. The next breath was slow and cautious, again making the neck expand and forcing the body of the balloon backwards. This time he thought he could see the whole thing grow just slightly, even though most of the expansion took place in the narrow neck. The warrior lost interest in his own pleasure once again, placing both hands around the balloon near the neck, and squeezing lightly. He thought he could hear a short gasp of pleasure as he pushed against it, too softly to really see it deform much. And then he firmly pushed it away from himself. The uninflated portion of the neck stretched, and the inflated part seemed to grow longer, even without the addition of air.
He still held it this way when he gave it another cautious breath, and this time the air seemed to flood the neck, greedily filling out the portion that he had stretched, so quickly that Aymeric's whole body trembled. He was on the cusp of something momentous. He had experienced climax before, but this was different somehow. Whatever this balloon was doing to him, was shaking him apart, and making him wonder if he would ever fit back together. He would not have been able to still the motion of his hand had his life depended on it, nor would he tear his eyes from the sight before him.
Hikari met his eyes once more, a brief sideways glance that indicated that he was just as aroused, just as lost in the balloon's thrall. He returned his hand to its dark work, sliding it again into the hidden recesses of his trousers and moving vigorously enough that Aymeric could have seen the act in profile, had his eyes not been occupied. A low groan sounded, once again amplified through the balloon and diffusing throughout the room, making the air seem to flash with heat. Then he took another deep breath, bigger than the last two, and held it until he was sure Aymeric's gaze was fast upon him.
Then he forced it out. Slow at first, then violently, and he realized then that the other man had lost patience as well. Whatever happened would happen quickly. The neck continued to fill out obscenely, stretching out the little remaining latex between the inflated pear and the lip captured between his teeth. It pushed quickly against his lips and continued to swell outward, farther than it seemed possible for it to grow.
And then it was gone.
It all seemed to happen in the wrong order. The balloon vanished as if it had never been, and only then did he hear the loud thunder of its explosion. He felt it viscerally. The balloon had been filled until it could take no more, and when it caved, he caved too. His body responded without his permission, and he came with a startled shout, desperately pressing against his stilled hand for any last bit of contact it might provide, flooding the tight space beneath his smallclothes with heat that he was too far gone to be embarrassed by. No longer needing to see anything at all, he let his head fall back against the couch cushion and shut his eyes, riding out the wave of intense pleasure, gasping and groaning in elation and astonishment.
Vaguely, he was aware that Hikari had done so too. The warrior had made no effort to restrain his voice, and his low moans had mingled with his own in a way that seemed to heighten the eroticism of the experience, as if they fed on each-other's enjoyment. They had come at the same moment, prompted by the balloon's bursting, and it took only a glance at the adventurer's sated expression afterwards to confirm what he had already suspected. It was sex, in every sense of the word. And he had loved it.
It was as if he had lived his entire life insisting that the sky was only ever blue, only to see his first vivid sunset. It was as shocking as it was beautiful, and he almost felt foolish for having thought himself above such things.
The Hyur grinned back at him lazily, spitting out the remains of the balloon's neck and fastening his trousers quickly. He wiped his hand carelessly on his thigh, and then proceeded to pick flecks of shredded latex off his face and clothing as though he hadn't cause to be ashamed of either. “That was beautiful. How did you like it?” He seemed to be expecting him to speak, as if his mind had not been blasted apart and blown across the room, scattered on every surface.
Aymeric groaned, which a bell before might have been a sound of mortification or annoyance. Now it was a sound of satisfaction, his body humming contentedly as if from a good spar. He eased himself sideways to lie halfway upon the couch, no longer feeling self-conscious. There was nothing wrong with laying himself out to stretch languidly, even with the adventurer eying him appreciatively through his sated haze. No more wrong than their heated glances or pleasured sighs, because now they were as lovers.
There was a quick pang of guilt at the thought, but it quite escaped him. There was too much sensation and feeling to grasp at any one thread. It was all flooded out with satisfaction and astonishment, as if he were trying to see into a dark room while standing in the light of the sun.
“I fear...” he said at last, looking now at the darkened ceiling as if that was where he might finally find his thoughts. “I fear that I shall never be the same. It was as you said... amazing. I did not know it was possible to feel such things.” There was anxiety behind his words, but he could not quite feel it as his own. Not yet, not under Hikari's caring gaze.
The other man smiled warmly, and sighed, the deep sigh of one truly content. “You're the same as you always were. You just know more about yourself now. Don't be afraid. Just enjoy it.”
That was easy for the adventurer to say. A faithless creature, walking through life with no responsibilities save for those he took on willingly. But he was a good man, a friend, and possessed of no small wisdom. He had been right thus far, about everything he had felt. Perhaps he was right on this, too.
Hikari stood from the chair by the fire, lifting his arms over his head and grasping at his elbows to stretch. Dimly, Aymeric watched him, noting anew the beauty of a body tempered by the hard forge of combat into a perfect machine. The adventurer was attractive, and the word was no longer foreign on his tongue. He did not want to touch him, or taste every ilm of sweat-soaked skin and toned muscle as Haurchefant sometimes intimated in a low voice. But he was fair to look upon, and the rumpled sight of him as he adjusted his trousers was a heady reminder of the sin they had shared.
So when the adventurer knelt beside the couch and lifted a hesitant hand to his face, the commander did not hesitate to assent to the touch. Instead he lifted his head to lean into the gentle hand, feeling a warm tingle in his belly at the friendly contact.
“Thank you,” the knight murmured. It was quiet, hardly enough to be heard at any distance, but that was not a problem because it was whispered nearly against Hikari's lips. The other man froze, still brushing tenderly against Aymeric's cheek but otherwise perfectly still, as if he weren't sure whether the Elezen would startle, or attack.
It was the latter. His first kiss had been but bells previous, but it felt appropriate to seek out another. It was only a soft brush of lips, soft and chaste, and slow as sweet molasses. But somehow it steadied place in his heart that had been aching throughout the day. For the space of a few breaths, Hikari held him, and he felt neither guilt nor fear.
Then he withdrew, opening eyes he barely remembered closing, and it came seeping slowly back. It was not so terrible, though, because the silly look on the adventurer's face quite soothed away the sting.
“Well,” he said, looking like he wasn't sure what conversation he wanted to pretend to be engrossed in. He stood up on wobbly legs and coughed into his hand, ruffling his sandy hair with the other. “I should um, probably be going, unless you want me to stay?” He squinted down at the knight in thought, blushing slightly once again, and Aymeric could not for the life of him determine which answer the Hyur was hoping for.
Company might have been nice. A warm body lying against him in the dark, and strong arms to hold him secure through any trouble. Yes, he wanted the adventurer to stay with him.
But he had no illusions regarding to whom the man belonged. It was simply not his place, though he still felt a vague, soft pain at the thought. Nor was he so unsure that he needed his hand held throughout the nightmare hours. The silence would likely do him good, now that his desires had been tamed and his thoughts given name.
“I can manage,” said Aymeric, letting his voice drift into the softness of the cushion beneath his head.
Hikari smiled, warm and soft, and bent down to place a similar kiss upon the knight's brow. Then he straightened to leave.
And then he stopped, just beyond the corner of the couch where Aymeric would have had to crane his neck to see, had he not been too sleepy and satisfied to need to use his eyes.
“I'll leave you with that bag to play with,” he said, and Aymeric could hear him grin around the words. “Don't be afraid to experiment, there's no wrong way to do it.”
The knight murmured sleepily, though he had no words in his mind to go with the indistinct sounds he emitted.
There was a quiet space long enough that Aymeric wondered if the other man had left, but he hadn't actually moved. His parting comment came from the very same spot, just ilms beyond the shadow and seeming to float through the aether itself.
“I'll bring you more the next time I see you. That bag... is just the beginning.”
Moments later the door was heard to close securely, and Aymeric was once again alone with his thoughts. Unlike earlier, he was relaxed, and though there was still uncertainty, he was no longer much afraid. There was a giddiness in his gut, perhaps more anticipation than unease. Guilt frayed beyond the corners of his satisfaction, but he shut it out, trusting in Hikari's promises and the care he'd bestowed in his parting kiss.
His mind was sluggish. His thoughts pulsed in dim currents like the flow of a mudslide, as though at heart they were solid matter that took insult at his attempts to move them. It was all too easy to push everything to the morrow, to bask in the warm, sensual afterglow of the explosive experience he'd undergone.
He fell asleep not long after, not even bothering to remove his clothes or retreat to the bed. In the morning, he would find a long string of stretched latex tangled in his hair. But for now, he was blissfully unaware of anything at all.
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