Unforgotten Memories

BY : Crymson_Passion
Category: Final Fantasy VIII > General
Dragon prints: 553
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Unforgotten Memories

Chapter Three


I never in a thousand Hyne forsaken years would believe that my first boyfriend would be Him. Or, that we would last beyond the two weeks that most relationships at that age last for. Or that he would be my first. But in a way, he was my first for everything else, so it made sense that he would also be my first sex partner. And just like all my other memories concerning my firsts with him, the Guardian forces that have passed though my mind have left those memories in tact. And I often wonder if they have those memories there and intact to taunt me, and nothing more. My first time was no different. It happened on the eve of my thirteenth birthday, the day I was planning on heading out for a short field mission to train with the potential weapons that we might choose tomorrow. He had been gone for the last week on a pre-SeeD mission, and I was positive that he was anxious to get back. But I never expected to be greeted in the way that I was.


As I laid on my bed, I flipped through several copies of Weapons Monthly that some of my instructors had let me borrow to help me get an idea of what all the weapons that I would be able to practice with the next day. I wished I had a few models of the various weapons to practice with right then, but I knew that would never have happened. There were just so many choices! When you turned 13, you finally got to begin specializing in a single weapon. And I was just as excited about it as any other cadet. It would have been nice if I was able to share this excitement with him though. We were together for nearly a year and a half, and I knew that he was about ready to take our relationship to the next level. I was the one that had all the reservations about sex. Don’t get me wrong, we had done our share of fooling around, but it just never got to the stage of full on intercourse.

It’s not that I didn’t love him, but I was worried that one of us would end up kicked out of Garden for breaking the Garden Protocol. With the no sexual promiscuousness rule, it really was a tense subject for every single student here. They weren’t going to kick you out just for having sex, but they highly discouraged it. Because if too many people discovered that they had a mutual partner, they’d get upset about it, and they would go to the faculty. That usually led to an official inquiry, and more often than not, dismissal. We all had seen it happen. But for the people who took it to the faculty, life became equally as hard. They were pegged as slut, liars, and cheaters. No one would associate with them, except others of their kind. It was sad really. I wasn’t implying that that would be what happened to us, or that I wasn’t ready, it was just that I didn’t want to ruin what we had.

Before I could think too far into it, the door to my dorm room flew open, and standing there with an odd look on his face, was him. A small smile tried to find its way onto my face, but the strange grin on his features struck me as one that should cause me to worry.

“You’re back early. Welcome back.” I said, and then placed the magazine on the floor, as he began to walk towards me.

“Thanks, Koneko.” His grin never faltered, and it almost scared me. He sat down beside me, before he used his larger hands to guide me down into a laying position. “I wanted to give you something really special for you birthday. This is the only thing that I could think of.” His voice was so quiet, but loud enough for me to catch the meaning.

As he ran a hand down my tense stomach, down to play with hem of my shirt, I took a deep breath. My heart was beating so fast, both from excitement and fear. And by the expression that I saw on his face, he realized the latter of my expressions.

“Don’t be afraid, Koneko. Everything is going to be fine. I promise I will be gentle. I would never hurt you. All you have to do is tell me to stop.” He whispered into my ear, as he started to lift my shirt up, at first only enough to expose my stomach, but as soon as my arms cooperated with him, the material was lifted right off my body, leaving my body and chest completely exposed. Before I had the chance to cover myself up, his hands pinned my wrists above my head.

“Don’t hide. You’re beautiful.” He tried to calm me down by raking his free hand through my hair. And it was definitely working. Not wasting another moment, his lips found their way to my neck, as he began to nip and suckle at the sensitive flesh. The tingling rush that took over my body was like nothing that I had ever felt before. The only thing that I wanted was to have him as close as possible, no barriers. A hand travelled down, only to stop at the button of my jeans.

“May I?” he whispered into my neck, before he lifted his head and I was looking directly into his lust filled eyes. Deep within those never ending pools, there was another emotion that made the whole night feel right. Love. Although we never actually verbally said it to one another, everything he could ever say was right there for me to see.

Still feeling his fingers dancing over the button and zipper, I nodded, giving him the access that he wanted. I felt his every movement as he popped the button out of the hole, the slid the zipper down, and Hyne above, did it ever feel good. Before I knew it, He was pushing everything down, and with every newly exposed patch of skin, his lips were there, kissing first the tops of my thighs, before he started to use his tongue to draw a trail down to my inner thigh, which caused me to buck my hips up towards him. I needed to feel him, I had to feel him.

“Please!” I whispered, hoping that he got the message of what it was I wanted. As I looked into his eyes, I see a grand smile that reaches all the way to the centre of his eyes.

“Whatever you say, Koneko.” He grinned before pulling my pants right off. I blushed at the thought of being completely exposed to him, before I try to cover up using my arms. “Don’t.” he told me as he stood up and gracefully pulled his t-shirt over his head. I couldn’t help but stare at the sight of his exposed chest. If he looks this good now, I can’t wait to see him in a couple of years. But that thought was pushed from my mind quickly; as I watched him slide his jeans down, revealing that he was wearing no underwear. So there he stood, in all his full glory, and I was there practically drooling over him. I couldn’t believe that we had waited this long.

I heard him pull something out of his jeans pocket before throwing them across the room, and he crawled onto the bed beside me.

“This will probably hurt a little, Koneko.” He whispered, and I listened to the crinkling of what seemed to be some sort of wrapper.

I nodded my acknowledgement of his words as he pushed my knees apart, before he positioned himself between my parted legs.

“I’m ready.” I told him, in a soft tone, only focusing on his eyes in front of me. I felt him lift my hips off the bed a little, and then I felt him position himself at my entrance, teasing me. I braced myself the best I could in preparation, wondering to myself how this would actually feel. My anxiety and apprehension were overwhelming, and then I started to feel a slight pressure. Time seems to have completely stopped at the moment, before he began to push himself into my body. And that’s when it hit me.

A blinding flash of pain. Tears stung at my eyes, and I let out a whimper.

“Stop, please.” I whispered, barely audible even to my own ears. The pain didn’t stop, yet there was a look of pure euphoria on his face as he set himself a pace to follow, a pace that sent a sear of sharp pain up my spine. I could feel the tears welding up at the corners of my eyes as I continued to beg for him to stop. But, he was too far gone in his sexual bliss to hear my pleas.

“Hyne, Koneko. You feel so tight. This is heaven.” He cried out in pleasure, and that’s when I realized that he wasn’t going to stop until he was sated. I drew myself completely into my mind, trying to block out the physical hurt, as well as the mental anguish. I just laid there like a lifeless doll, the tears poured down my cheeks, as he roughly shoved his tongue into my mouth. And for the first time that I can remember, his kiss was unwelcome.

I cut myself off from reality; blackness overcame my vision, numbness falling over my body. I could feel nothing except the rhythmic shot of pain that extended the complete length of my body every time. I endured the pain as long as I possibly could, and abruptly, it all stopped.

With my body lying limply on the bed, I vaguely felt a sense of relief as he pulled himself out, leaving me feeling empty. I curled into the foetal position, needing to feel a little comfort.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice still airy with sexual aggression and exhaustion. I felt his hand come to rest on my inner thigh, and his reaction confirmed to me what I know must be there. “Hyne above, why the hell is there blood?”

I snorted in response, the pain still there, as strong as ever. It didn’t surprise me in the least that there was blood, but I didn’t want to believe that he would act so, so naïve, and innocent about it.

I had no strength to speak, so I simply glared at him. Meeting my eyes for the first time since he entered me, it seemed that he finally noticed the tears staining my cheeks.

“Did I hurt you that much? I didn’t think that it would have been that painful.” He insisted, but I knew that I just couldn’t deal with that at the moment. I closed my eyes once again, eager to be welcomed back into darkness’s comforting embrace.

“Just leave.” I whispered, gathering all my strength for those two simple words, the tears still threatening to fall.

“I’m sorry Koneko. I seriously didn’t think that it would have hurt that much.” He pleaded with me, but I refused to open my eyes to look at him.

“Just leave, please.” I whimpered, as I pulled the blanket around me like it was a life support. “Go.” The fresh tears rolled down my cheeks, as I began to once again retreat into the blackness of that painless void.

“Alright.” His voice was quiet, in a defeated tone of voice, and I felt him get off the bed. A minute or two later, I heard the door close and I finally opened my eyes.

He’s gone.

But there was only one thing that infuriated me. The bastard lied and never said he was sorry.


Now, that was probably the most difficult thing that I have ever written, lol. It’s really hard to write a scene like that with knowing the pairing or even if it is het or yaoi!

The next chapter will most likely be the end of this little adventure, but I would love to know who people think that the couple is/should/will turn out to be! Thank you all for reading this strange little product of my sugar driven mind!

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