Adult-FanFiction.org : Final Fantasy

Reviews for To Trust A Cop

By : Shehanitan

From ANON - Starstop on January 27, 2007
one of my fav i hope to see an update soon... keep it up
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From ANON - Anonymous on January 21, 2007
Keep up the good work! I'd also like to know more about Squall's life. Update soon please.
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From ANON - AO on January 20, 2007
Oh man. I wonder where Squall's parents were at this time, XD. Your always so good at writing the smut :3
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From ANON - Sekre on January 20, 2007
-raises hand- Ohh, I want to know more!!!
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From ANON - RentaiKitten on January 19, 2007
Gorgeous! Eagerly awaiting more! Poor Squall - just can never get in charge of the Seifer, can he?
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From ANON - Sekre on January 10, 2007
You know, you would think that having every (well almost) chapter full of sex would get old and tiring - but it doesn't!! In fact, I can't wait for the next chapter...knowing it's going to be filled with yummy-ness. And Seifer is soo hot xDDD Especially when he talks during sex. And poor Squally...he's being used as a live fucktoy.
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From ANON - YACUMO on January 10, 2007
Each time you are making me more and more addicted to your story.
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From ANON - florinoir on January 08, 2007
How strange friendship so...
I love your story, it's not simply a big continuation of lemons(even if I don't mind these), the characters are worked and to me, very loveable^^
/Seifer/... Even me..?
Yes!^^ See, hre, you're moe than a walking erection!^^
Good continuation!^^
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From ANON - naru_chan on January 05, 2007
I am so hooked on diz fic... so when's the next chapter?..?
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From ANON - Tryst on January 05, 2007
I laughed at loud when Seif said...

�Ah� Not your business� That�s some kind of slogan of yours?�

So, so hilarious. Love this chapter! Glad to see that Squall's starting to think of him as a friend.
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From ANON - Sharon on January 01, 2007
I am well aware of the setting of this story. When I proposed possible lengths that Squall would need to take, I assumed you would understand that I wasn�t being literal about getting an actual GED, but something similar. I�m sorry for this mistake. I should have clarified that when I was making suggestions, I was giving a real world example so that you might consider making a parallel to it. Dollars versus gil, GED versus whatever merit of schooling constitutes a higher education, I figured you knew what I was getting at, and am again sorry for not making that clearer.

Concerning grades, I was assuming a lot when I made that comment, but it still stands. I better than most, which is obviously something you cannot judge yourself without knowing me so you�ll just have to take my word, know that brilliance is not determined by grades or college degrees. When I mentioned Squall needing special classes, that was merely an exaggeration to impress the extremeness of not even being able to finish elementary school. Since the first time you mentioned him having dropped out of school that early, I did assume it was because of the harsh times he was either going through or that had fallen upon him. Obviously his life hasn�t been easy, but I simply wanted you to know that there is a general diminishing quality added to Squall�s character when you do this.

I understand that Quistis� mindset has not been revealed, but that doesn�t mean there aren�t less extreme ways of spinning her actions. Radical and extreme are great, if it remains believable and doesn�t push the reader to a point where they are no longer immersed in the story, but quirking their brows at the computer screen dubiously.

Subtle changes are my specialty and I rarely fail to spot them. I have noticed changes within the lemons, and haven�t said anything to imply otherwise. There is obviously a deeper bond forming, beyond lust and the occasional need for gratification.

Taking your time is great. Flushing out the plot and developing the characters is something I�m always willing to wait for since it is so often rushed in fanfiction. My main concern is still your balance between plot and smut. Although small changes have been occurring, will the two ever meet?

I thank you for taking the time to reply to my review. I would like to point out that I left my email address up for a reason. If there is a next time, you needn�t take up half your chapter replying, just email me. (It�s considered more appropriate to converse like this privately. The email addresses only show up when you're signed in while checking reviews, in case that's why you didn't contact me that way.)

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From ANON - Sekre on January 01, 2007
All, poor Seif .. And jeez Squall, he's like not the most social butterfly, huh? xD
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From ANON - Jessifer on December 21, 2006
...That was HOT! That was, by far, my favorite chapter!

Good days own SO much.
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From ANON - Jupitor Knight on December 21, 2006
In response to another review I'd like to reinstate that I think this story is wonderful and has a great flow, because of the rules of alternate universe, my universe my rules. I thikn that your doing a great job, while i understand that some people disagree with how you go with Squalls education, I would not in a million years say he needed special classes, and while here in the US a GED would be acceptable in Galbadia perhaps not. all in all let me state, BEAUTIFUL JOB.
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From ANON - Sharon on December 21, 2006
Hmmm� it was an interesting chapter� There are a few issues I had with it though. (This is me nitpicking, not flaming. You�re a good fanfiction author, just a bit of a newbie.)

First, did you purposefully spell Squall�s last name wrong? It�s not �Leonhard� it�s �Leonhart�. If you doubt your gaming knowledge, there are countless websites that have character names and profiles.

Next, and I�ve said this before, the whole elementary school drop out seems unbelievable no matter how troubled his childhood was. If he dropped out that early, then going to an art school is not a matter of having bad grades. If he hasn�t even gotten past the fifth grade, then he doesn�t have any grades the school would look at. Colleges look at high school grades, not whether you knew how to do simple division in the fourth grade. If he were a high school drop out, it would make much more sense and I wouldn�t look at Squall like he was an idiot.

Second, have you ever taken an art course in your life? Art was my sequence in high school, and though I�m no professional, I can tell you it doesn�t take a genius to paint or sketch with charcoal. Considering Quistis is the artist in this story, I would think she�d know this and not ask something so technical like where Squall learned how to draw. Asking him what art school he went to is fine and makes perfect sense, but not understanding how he could draw without having taking classes is ridiculous. Many artists are just talented. Why chalk Squall�s work up to being something he learned from books when you can so easily say he�s just talented and has a natural ability for it? (I�m surprised he can even read with how dumb you make him seem. It�s bad enough he never made it to middle school, but to say he also had bad grades in elementary school makes me wonder whether he dropped out because he was in over his head and should have been in �special� classes.)

Third, Quistis is going to pay his tuition? That�s just not believable. If anything, maybe she could be a guest teacher at some college because she�s famous and students would want to take her class, so she invites Squall to sit in on the class she teaches for free. But to pay thousands of dollars for someone she hardly knows, it makes no sense. And, I hope you plan on having Squall go back to school and getting his GED, because no university would ever take someone unless they�ve graduated high school. It�s a fact that you need to have a high school diploma to go to any decent college, even an art school. So, no matter how much money Quistis has to pay for college, Squall is required to finished elementary school, middle school, and high school. Not only that, but he needs to have a portfolio. Though from Quistis having him do an array of pieces that are out of his element, it seems like that might end up being his portfolio. Remember though, having great artwork is only one requirement. It�s a must that he has his diploma, unless Quistis can forge transcripts, which would be ridiculous.

This is a very longwinded review, as are all my others. I�m still hoping to see you blend your ability to write plot and smut. So far, it�s almost like two different people are writing this story. There�s the person who has trouble with their English and thinking more than two chapters ahead, and then there�s the person who can write very steamy and flowing sex scenes.

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