BY : Nora_Grey
Category: Final Fantasy VII > Yaoi - Male/Male
Dragon prints: 1723
Disclaimer: I own nothing all rights go to their owners of Final Fantasy which is Hironobu Sakaguchi, who created it. Except for Nikolas and Kaiden I own them. Also I make no money from this at all (I wish I did)

Thank you so much for reading, I had no idea I would have OVER 300 HITS in almost 3 days! It means a lot to me, like a hell of a lot to me. I hope you have liked the story so far :)

WARNING: Abuse is prominent in this chapter please take care when reading as it does get quite dark but I hope you enjoy anyway. I've had to rewrite this chapter so many times and I'm still not quite happy with it but here goes.

Where the hell was he taking me? I tried to pull out of his tight grip but his strong hand stayed wrapped around my arm. I could barely keep up with Zacks long strides. We rounded the corner and came to a stop outside of a door. Zack unlatched his arm and dug around in his pockets finding his keys, unlocking the door. Wait his keys... does that mean this is his room? I froze as he gestured for me to go in. He laughed wrapping a firm arm around my shoulders.

"Don't worry I won't do anything bad I promise." He smiled mischievously. God I love that smile, I nearly melted just seeing it. With a little shove from Zack I stepped into his apartment. It was modern with a leather couch placed in front of a large TV, wooden flooring throughout but it was messy even for a soldier. Dirty clothes from days ago maybe even weeks ago scattered across the floor. I couldn't help but smile to myself at the destruction in his apartment. Zack scratched the back of his head looking out to the chaos, his fingers feathering through his raven hair with a sheepish smile. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone to come over."

"I kind of guessed it would be like this anyway. You definitely aren't organised." I grinned back at him. I remembered when I passed his office the other day and saw him sitting with a bunch of paperwork piled up on the desk that was all mixed up, crumpled and strewn everywhere. Most of all I remembered seeing his cute confused face. He seemed so young then.

"Oh you noticed? I'm surprised you would notice me considering we've hardly crossed paths." He sounded quite surprised when he cocked his head to the side. I said nothing - I couldn't say anything. It was like invisible hands were strangling my throat. I was not about to tell him, oh yeah I've seen you around and thought you were hot and now every time I go to sleep there you are doing sexual things to me. Zack didn't seem to notice the slight blush rising on my cheeks as he closed the door behind him. I had to make this as short as possible. Zack led me through to the kitchen and gestured for me to sit down on a bar stool. When I didn't he insisted,

"The chairs not going to bite, it'll make it easier for me to clean up that battle scar of yours anyway. You don't want a scar on that handsome face, your girlfriend will get worried you know." He teased. Please don't talk about scars. Anything else but that...

"I don't have a girlfriend." I replied evenly as I sat down in the chair, careful to hide my shaking hands beneath the black work top. He raised his eyebrows. "Really? Well they're missing out." He began to sift through a cupboard on the other side of the kitchen. I was left confused, I didn't know what to make of his comment. As I looked around I noticed that he kept flowers in a vase at the window sill. This would have been normal except they were dead. Completely and utterly lifeless. The petals had long since wrinkled and fallen off.

"Erm you know those flowers over there are dead, right?" I asked anxiously trying to get my mind off certain things. Like the guy standing on the other side of the worktop bending over, I had an all too good of a view of his behind. I quickly averted my eyes, I didn't want my body heating up here that would be very very bad. Zack paused his rummaging in the cupboard, his whole body going rigid.

"Oh those. Yeah I know... I guess I just haven't got round to... you know." His voice held a strange tone, one that I've never heard before or could decipher.

"Getting rid of them?" I finished for him. His body seemed frozen to the spot, I began to question if he was even breathing. Were the flowers that big of a deal? He continued to shuffle through the cupboards contents.

"Ah here we go." He turned back to me setting the green bag on the island table beside me changing the subject. He was taking out bandages and scalpels from the medical bag, why did he need those? My body shivered as I nearly bolted from the chair. Zack's eyes darted up. "Cloud?" He asked hesitantly but I couldn't tear my gaze away from the scalpel. Images of my mother flashed in my head as I fell off the stool. I lay on my hands and knees panting, trying to stop from remembering... Remembering the torment. The torture. I felt a warm hand rub my back in circular motions but I jolted away from the touch, my whole body going tense. Don't touch me Zack I'm worthless. "Cloud what's wrong?" His voice full of concern. My heart had seemed to stop. Everything stopped.

"The... s-scalpel..." I stuttered breathlessly. Zack's hand came up to cover mine trying to comfort me but this time I didn't refuse his touch.

"I wasn't going to use it, you don't need to worry. I promise I won't use anything without your permission." I nodded weakly the image of my mother fading.

"Za-AH-ck." I was interrupted by the sudden pain in spreading its way up my head. I cradled my head in my hands willing it to go away. "You need to... take it... away." I clenched my teeth as the spikes of pain were growing worse by the second. "Please." I pleaded with him as my vision began to blur, the room spinning in all directions. I barely heard him jump up to throw the scalpel in the bin. I only knew he was close to me when I felt his warming breath on my neck.

"Hey, it's going to be okay. It's gone now." I suddenly sat up and grabbed onto his shirt pulling my head into the crook of his neck, his arms embracing me drawing me closer. I fisted his shirt tighter as I felt the tears cascade down my face. I felt so damn weak and it was all because of that woman. He shushed me stroking the back of my head calmingly. His strong arms hugged my body. I noticed his hair smelled like strawberries as I was starting to calm with his firm body pressed against mine. My chest heaved when I tried to control my whimpering. 

"It's okay, you're going to be okay now. Nothing is going to hurt you." He soothed as he spoke lowly into my ear, he sounded like he was trying to convince himself. After the pounding in my head had ceased I slowly pulled back from Zacks body not sure if I wanted to break the embrace yet or not. I wiped the remnants of my tears with the back of my hands as he held onto my waist holding me tightly he asked, "Are you feeling better?" I could only slightly nod in my weak state but then I noticed the wet streaks on his top. I felt ashamed for acting like this in front of a soldier, in front of Zack.

"Sorry for... that. I didn't mean to er..."

"Hey, its fine don't apologise." He interrupted as his hands dropped lower cupping my slender hips. "I'll hold you anytime you need to." I blushed as his voice deepened sensually, my body nearly buckling. I could feel the blood rushing to my pants. I had to get out and now.

"Sorry I've got to go." I stood up shakily, stumbling my way to the door. Zack turned me back to face him gently as his hand cupped my head, his thumb stroking over the side of my face.

"You sure? I should probably fix up your injury first." I shook my head violently. I had no time for that, I needed to leave before I did something stupid, something I would definitely regret. My hand fumbled with the door knob, I wasn't able to grasp it. Shit. Zack gently pulled my flailing hand away and opened the door for me. I took one last look at the soldier beside me burning him into my memory. But before I could leave Zack lifted me up by the waist and shoved me down onto the couch, straddling my hips. I wriggled under his body - he was going to find out, oh shit I'm done for.

"Cloud..." He began staring into my wide eyes.Zacks face inches from mine as he licked his lips slightly, his dark hair framing around my pale face, he was so close. He pulled back quickly pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose, his eyes scrunching slightly. "Just make sure you get that checked out." He finished sighing while lifting a leg over me to stand up. I thought for sure he was going to say something else. I nodded still frozen to the couch like I was glued to it but then I remembered why I had to get out of here. My eyes found the open door as I stood up on wobbly legs to return to my dorm.

I ran away.

Why? Because I'm worthless.



I slammed the bathroom door shut behind me as I panted leaning back against the door. After I caught my breath I made my way over to the long mirror, pulling my top above my head looking at my reflection. I saw the long silver scars that were left behind mainly along my abdomen and toned belly. I was miles away from my mother but I still couldn't be free from her. I traced a finger along the deepest one remembering the day it had been sliced into my skin.

It was my 11th birthday. Most kids would get presents and chocolate but me... I got a fist in the face if I even mentioned the word birthday. I was scrubbing the floors on my hands and knees, the floor becoming spotless the way mother liked it. I scrubbed harder at the floor as I heard high pitched footsteps coming from behind me, my heart raced a little as a cold shiver made its way up my spine.

"What a good boy, you're already doing the floors." She mused stepping over me to go and grab her lunch that I had already prepared for her. I dipped the overused sponge in the bucket of water knowing that if I spoke it would probably make her angry. I straightened up sitting back on my thin calves, stretching the muscles in my sore back. "What the hell is this!" She exclaimed from the corner of the room. I rushed over to see what she was talking about. A dead rat was lying on its back in our kitchen. I turned to look up at my mother, her eyes full of fury and her cheeks red with anger. I knew what was coming.

"You little brat! How fucking dare you do this to me." Slap. I felt a sting in my cheek as I dropped to the floor with the force. I felt my eyes fill up with unshed tears.

"You did this on purpose didn't you?" Slap. Slap. She kept hitting me and hitting me, alternating between slaps and punches. I felt the tears rush down my face knowing that I could do nothing to stop this. I could feel the bruises blooming all over my face. Her anger still was unsatisfied as she looked around for something to throw finding a knife that had been left out. I gasped as she raised the weapon high above her head. I threw my arms up to protect my face but instead she slashed my chest cutting deep into the skin. I cried out louder than I ever thought possible. I could feel the blood gushing from my wound as I pressed my small skeletal hand against it.

"Stop." I begged in a quiet voice.

"Stop? You shitty little brat how dare you defy me. You're worthless " She slashed the knife across my body another couple times until she was satisfied. The blood seeped from my body staining the floor beneath me.

I reopened my eyes now back in the present. She had used various things across the years as weapons: her fists, books, boxes just what ever was lying around. Even scalpels. But the knife was the worst as it shred into the skin leaving an all too visible scar behind. I was not going to let Zack know about this. Hell I wasn't going to tell anyone about this.

To be continued... :)

AUTHORS NOTES: I know this chapter was a little depressing but I will soon change that ;) Also I'm sorry for making Clouds mom such a bitch but I wanted there to be more of a reason behind Clouds anxiousness and anti socialness, so I really wanted to delve into that. Please let me know what you think of their changed relationship.

Please rate and review, I know that I can make my writing better but I'm not sure how, any improvements would be appreciated. See you in the next chapter! Which should hopefully be up by later on tomorrow seeing as I have a full day off to write more juicy fan fiction for you perverted people (I'm one of those people to)

EDIT: Chapter 4 will not be up by today sorry WRITERS BLOCK HAS HAPPENED!! 


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