Adult-FanFiction.org : Final Fantasy

Reviews for To Trust A Cop

By : Shehanitan

From ANON - YACUMO on November 08, 2009
***Warning: rape, drugs, abuse***
***Notes: I know some of you has been howling at me not to do anything too bad to our brunet. Sorry guys, this was planned a long time ago and is more or less vital to the story. I�m really sorry to put some of you people down and hope you don�t lose faith in me and the story.***

I don�t really understand how a FUCKING RAPE SCENE is vital for the creativity and developement of your story.
I'm not surprised though, it is just nasty to express it like that. And you are right.... I feel kind of disappointed, but kehhh you know. It is your story, so whatever.

I also hope this does not become repetitive. I don't think it will also help with the story-line. I also really hope that this wonderfully written story doesn't become the typical rape-victim-saved kind of story.

Anyway I also hope that Seifer comes ASAP. It is imperative lol.

Read you soon....... Update rellay soon please.

Report Review
From arsenicstings on November 07, 2009
AH! Even though i'm a die hard Seifer/Squall fan I really enjoyed this chapter, especially the sex scene, hotttt as ever! I'd love to see Seifer and Squall take some of that aphrodisiac together! Hottest sex scene in the history of fanfiction!!! Anyway, I do enjoy our little brunet getting tortured ever so slightly. But I really want to see Seifer get tortured as well. I want Seraph to rub it in his face that he fucked his boy toy. And then I want to see Seifer get even.

The power of love....coupled with lust...ah so romantic...
Report Review
From IntHellsing on November 07, 2009
You're killing me here. ;D
Report Review
From ANON - Anonymous on November 07, 2009
Wow! That was... wow...

I knew it was coming. I saw it coming, I really did, but I still found myself speechless. Wow, once he comes down from that though, he's gonna be really pissed, really embarrassed and really ashamed.

I agree though! bring Seifer back!

As for offending people with the scenes, honestly it's your story; you do whatever you want with it. If it involves rape, then let there be rape. I'm glad you decided to put it in there despite people protesting and saying they didn't want you to do it. After all, it's an emotional torment that Squall has managed to avoid for the better part of his life thus far; having it happen to him will have a definite affect on him I'm sure.

As for offending me, that's not a problem. It was just telling me to get over it that got to me, and I can understand not wanting to go back. I'm glad that you're taking what I've said and utlizing it to make your story even better. It's great that I was able to help, and I still will, that is if you would like me too :D

I'm a little disappointed that the scene was cut short though; there were all kinds of tools that could have been used, but that isn't to say they weren't; Squall could have just as easily fallen into that induced aroused state that Seraph mentioned. Either way, I look forward to the next chapter; I actually squealed when I realized this story had updated.

Thank you _very much_ for the read.
Anon
Report Review
From ANON - lightning on November 07, 2009
Yes, I admit that was hot!But snif snif for Squall, I think it's better Seraph used the aphrodisiac because otherwise Squall would be suffering more! And yes I agree we need Seifer back! Where is he!? Well done for the chapter, I like the plot a whole lot and I think you keep evolving for the better! Please update soon!
Report Review
From ANON - lightning on November 07, 2009
Really nice chapter! I agree, snake, snake! I love it that Seifer has a brother like that though. I had never imagined it would come to this! I love the idea! I find it very interesting that they have similrities! Btw nice names! Seraph and Serano! Seraph I like more. The son is an idiot lol. I hope Seifer didn't run away, I don't see him ever doing sth like that since everything revolves around Squall for him. There's gonna be a sequel yes? I love this story. I'm going to read more now ;-)
Report Review
From ANON - lightning on November 07, 2009
First of all sorry it took me so long to read and review! I've been busy with university! Now, WOW! Omg my heart was like thumbing fast at reading this chapter! Squally! It was excellent though, now many questions arise! I hope Seifer appears soon in a surprising way! His past seems to be quite myseterious and I like that a lot! I'm going to read more now! Well done!
Report Review
From Divanora on November 07, 2009
Poor Squall :( Yes, Seifer does need to come back soon, he's an ass for leaving Squall to deal w/ his brother. I am confused by one thing though, you make it sound like Squall has been raped before, has he?
Report Review
From ANON - YACUMO on October 28, 2009
I must say that your story is one of the most interesting "fan-fic" I have found about this particular pair. I really like the way you are developing the characters and the story line, although I know you are not solely focused in this story I would really like to ask you to update more frequently. Readind this fic is really nice, the vocabulary you use is nice, but specifically is the way you can describe the scenes in a very fresh way, making it easy for us, your lovely readers, imagine the scene in our minds, or so I have seen in my case.

I hope you update really soon to see what destiny is going to have poor Squally. Just one suggestion please.... no raping scenes for Squall. No need for them specially to this point in which you already said, they have taken notice in the change in their relationship that is no longer lust-filled but developed into something much more substantial.
XOXO Read you soon.
Report Review
From ShadowWolfie on October 26, 2009
I'm glad I didn't catch this at the very beginning because I'd probably bug you repeatedly to update. With AU I find many authors take a bit to much creative license with heir characters persona. And despite the limited knowledge of said characters we do get, I do believe you kept pretty close to their original base personalities. I know in AU that is not the point but I find that it's a horrible excuse to toss out a characters personality.

Any way I am really enjoying this story and I believe reading the other story and this you have really grown in your skills. Keep up the good work and post again as soon as life let's you. I'm bouncing waiting to see what happens!!!!

Report Review
From tearsofblood2u on October 25, 2009
Wonderful chapter! Poor Squall...Between Seifer and Nida, the poor kid's been put through the wringer.
Report Review
From ANON - Anonymous on October 25, 2009
First, I want to respond to your response. :D I'm glad you're willing to listen to constructive criticism. Many people tend to blast me out for trying to help, and I feel encouraged that you're willing to listen.

For their ages, that's good that you don't want to restrict yourself on ages, and that you wanna kep the flow of the story the same as when you first started it. I don't mind having a vague idea of their ages, a definite age would be prefered, but it's your story. So long as I have an image in my head. ^^ And I can agree about the way things spiral when you can't control what you're writing.

It wasn't just Trixy, Trixy was my example, and seeing how she is a regular character (same with Craig btw) I would think that there would be a more definite description. And it's never too late to describe a character; you can always go back and edit the chapters with their initial appearance. It's annoying to have to go back in order to find out, but it's a great option for people like me who really want to have an accurate idea of the character. My idea of what a character looks like could be completely different from what you have envisioned. Being a writer is like painting a picture with words, and enabling the readers to see the things that you see. For the most part you do a very good job of that, it's just with a few of these characters you introduce that I was asking about. I don't appreciate being told to 'get over it' though, since it was only a helpful suggestion. There's no need to get defensive. Still, I thank you very much for the character description of Trixy, I appreciate it very much.

Towards my earlier review concerning the side stories, I was just putting it out there for consideration. There were many angles you introduced that felt ignored (to me) so I figured I would express my concerns and I'm glad you explained it a bit. I did mention that I wasn't sure whether or not you were leaving things unfinished for the sequel, but I'm glad you confirmed that you were. That's all I needed to know. And I was only pointing out how mysterious Seifer seemed and that I was happy we were finally able to get a look into his life. It wasn't an attack directed towards your writing, it was simply my saying that I couldn't wait to see how things continued to unravel and I apologize for the miscommunication.

I'm not quite sure what you're referring to on a writer jumping from one pov to the next. I can't recall whether or not I mentioned something along those lines. I can understand wanting to keep a chapter in a specific point of view, but there are methods of keeping the mood alive by switching povs every now and again. I'm not telling you to change your style altogether, but I am saying it is an option.

Again with Nida, I was simply proposing my feelings on a side story that seemed to fall on its face. However, with this explanation it does clear it up a bit, though I would hope to see Nida again, if only to throw a wrench in the plot. And thank you for clarifying the age difference between Squall and Nida, and I'm glad to hear that he wasn't as young as I originally thought. That eases my concerns a little bit.

Now with that aside, onto the review of this most recent chapter.

I particularly liked the outcome of this chapter, and the way you picked up immediately from where the previous chapter left off. There were a bunch of different ways you could have gone and I'm glad you decided to choose this way. Still, it makes me wonder where Seifer is in all of this. Regardless of where he is though, his older brother Seraph is downright creepy. He gives this aura of being this sinister guy and yet he does such gentle things as fixing Squall up after his beating. It makes me want to trust him and yet there's something inside that tells me he will sooner gut me than help me, and I'm fairly sure this is what Squall feels whenever he's around (and even when he's not). You did a really good job of transfering his feelings onto the readers and I commend you on that.

Serano obviously got some lessons from Seraph, though I have to say he's still in training and he's more outright sadistic rather than being stealthily sadistic. He's still got a lot to learn, and I'm more than just a little worried about any potential midnight visits to their unwilling houseguests. I'm almost not sure I wanna know but I'm also a whore for angst, so bring it on, whatever direction you go.

There's not really much else to say except that I hope you post the next chapter very soon, because I really would like to know what happens next.

Thanks for the read,
Anonymous
Report Review
From ANON - dee on October 12, 2009
Gyaa, Seifer has a brother!!!
Wonder if Squall will survive...
Hehehe
Report Review
From ANON - Akano on October 10, 2009
NOOOOOOO!! Not a cliffhanger! D: That's just evil, man... PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!

I love this story so much! The way you've characterized Squall and Seifer is just the way I imagined how that they should be and I love that!I'm really glad you decided to do a sequel after this one because when I read that the story was closing in on the end it seriously made me depressed... I don't want it to end... :(

Anyway, keep up the good work and I'm really looking forward for the next chapters and more storys from you!
Report Review
From sikare on October 08, 2009
Oh no D:
Report Review