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Reviews for To Trust A Cop

By : Shehanitan
  • From ANON - telynaayuri on October 07, 2009
    Finally! ive waited forever for a new chap. thank you. thank you so much. i would hate to see a good story go to waste. you have given me faith in this story again.
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  • From ANON - Anonymous on October 07, 2009
    One last thing, I promise!

    I forgot to ask, how exactly did the Platinum haired guy get a key to Squall's apartment in the first place? I mean, the landlord's a sleeze, but I doubt he would have given him one, and Seifer sure as hell wouldn't have given him is copy. It really doesn't make much sense to me, but I suppose there's always lock picking or a skeleton key of some kind.

    I'm done this time, really! ^^

    Anon
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  • From ANON - Anonymous on October 07, 2009
    Sorry, I was kind of in a rush to go to work, so I didn't leave a proper review. I just thought I'd do so now and add to the number. :D

    First and foremost, let me just say that I'm typically a fan of canon, especially for this universe. Particularly when it comes to Squall, I see him with Rinoa all the time, however I made the exception when I read the original three-chapter story 'Cops Can't be Trusted'. I can't help it; it was smut, I was in the mood and I enjoyed it immensely (though I have to say I was a bit squeemish when it got to Irvine and Zell's involvement, but I digress). I guess you could sort of call me a closet fan of this pairing.

    Now, I've been reading this story for a while (sorry this is the first - technically second - review I've posted, but again; closet fan) and I have to say you do a really good job writing the scenes, and the characters, specifically Squall and Seifer. I was especially impressed when I checked out your profile and found out that english is not your first language and, for the most part, you put up the chapters having written them yourself. It's really amazing; I couldn't even begin to fathom writing in another language, but only because I'm not even close to fluent.

    Now onto the critiquing part. Please do not take offence as I am merely trying to offer assistance to make a great story even better. If this critique is not wanted, then at least I know I said something.

    My first critique is a bit of nitpicking, mostly a continuity error. It's about Seifer's age. Here, you're eluding that Squall is much younger than Seifer, however in 'Cops Can't be Trusted', you have him closer to Squall's age. I don't know which it is, and was hoping that you could maybe clarify this.

    Next is a description of the characters. I know this is mostly a smut fic, but I'm having some trouble picturing a few of your characters; they're minor characters but they've been refered to a number of times, so I'm just wanting some kind of description. Trixy, for example, is she blonde, red-headed, tall, short, skinny, slim, white, dark skined... that kind of thing.

    My biggest critique would be the potential plot lines you've just glossed over. I'm not sure if you have plans for those in the future, or whether or not original plans fell short, but there have been potential plot bits that you've seemingly dismissed. Nida was one, though you did a good job of working it out (I can understand that people might have been getting tired of that particular triangle, but it still would have served as some tension; even now, we don't know what's happening with him, and I particularly hope to see more of that subplot in the future. Not saying you have to, but I'm just putting it out there), but there was the bit with the possibility of a safe-house, and Zell having to follow Squall to make sure a particular gang didn't get to him to get to Seifer. The chapter after it was talked about, everything seemed to be normal; there was nothing at all about the outcome of that, and I felt disappointed by it. I could be wrong though; I'm not too sure who the platinum haired guy and his pals are affiliated with, so I guess I'm sort of jumping the gun here.

    Another thing I'm confused about though is Squall's age. I'm thinking he's probably 18 years old, what with him having not gone back to school for grade nine. Now, I know this is a totally different universe and all (I remember your response to the last person who brought up the schooling thing), but I'd like to have a figure in my mind. And considering that you mentioned that his relationship with Nida had been 5 years previous to this story, that would have made him about 13. I'm not even sure how old Nida is, so he could have been legal enough to live on his own, but I find it yucky that he would have been having that kind of a relationship with a 13 year old. I suppose it does happen but... yuck.

    There, I'm done. I'm hoping I haven't put you off with this review, as I'm just trying to help by offering some constructive criticism. Either way though, I do look forward to your next chapter and, when you post it, your sequel.

    Take care,
    Anon
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  • From ANON - YACUMO on October 07, 2009
    Nice to see that you have updated!!! :)
    Anyways, just please don´t rape Squall.... Pretty please.
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  • From IntHellsing on October 07, 2009
    No need to hunt you down... after all, if you're on the run... you can't very well update, can you?
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  • From Divanora on October 07, 2009
    AAAAGGGHHHH you can't end the chapter there!!
    Poor Squally, he's probably wishing he was just dumped at this point!
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  • From ANON - Anonymous on October 07, 2009
    Ah, that's a HORRIBLE way to end a chapter. :( I can understand why Seifer's brother didn't come up in conversation.

    I suppose since we've learned so much about Squall, it's time to get into Seifer's background, eh? We hanve't even seen so much as Seifer's house yet, so he's been a character shrouded in mystery, hasn't he.

    Looking forward to your next chapter, so update soon, okay?
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  • From mcpnoi360 on September 21, 2009
    ei o! lolz

    i just totally read every chapter you had up this weekend!
    I'm totally hooked on this story right now and I don't want it to stop
    and apparently it won't since you're planning to have a sequel right??

    *sigh* your Seifer is just the perfect balance of being such a bastard
    and the perfect (if you don't count his crazy temper) man...

    Seifer/Squall pairings always make me go weak in the knees and your
    fic totally turned my knees to jelly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Anywho, keep up the goodwork and hope to read more of your upcoming chapters!!! woohoo!!! :3
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  • From pipdfunnybunny on September 15, 2009
    I understand author angst for reviews.

    Oh, my dear! I'm so happy they're acting like a couple! But honestly, sometimes I want to hit Squall! *growl*
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  • From Spophaloaf on September 04, 2009
    Just when things might get better for them both with their emotions, someone goes and fucks everything up by ruining their special night!

    Poor guys! I think I've said plenty of times that I do love this story and I can't wait til both of them are comfortable expressing their feelings.

    Maybe Seifer will be nice with those candles and make love to Squall again, rather than just fucking him.

    Awwww!

    Please keep going!
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  • From on September 02, 2009
    Wow so quick!! I am very very pleased.

    This chapter really riled me up. By the end I was hoping for Seifer to charge out there and kill the bastard!! Ohh poor Squall. :( And the nice romance got ruined!! Noooo... make up for it later! XP *begs*

    Also kill that man very thoroughly!!!
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  • From ANON - lightning on September 02, 2009
    oh that was SO interesting! the way Seifer was like, I was thinking murder right away, the atmospher had totally changed! that's how Seifer would react, Squall feels terrified and I don't blame him of course! it was really nice the way you passed the emotions to us. can't wait for the next chapter!
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  • From ANON - lightning on September 02, 2009
    oh my god the HOTNESS! I thought it had ended and was hoping for a sequel! but hey it's still ongoing and we're gonna have a sequel oh god yay! such hot and nice chapter!
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  • From IntHellsing on September 02, 2009
    You've got me all sorts of on edge!
    I'm nervous for Squall. T____T
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  • From sikare on September 02, 2009
    Poor Squall :/ Seifer better kick all their asses.

    Looking forward to more, as usual.
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