Sephiroth's Desires

BY : C.P.Miller
Category: Final Fantasy VII > Het - Male/Female
Dragon prints: 7984
Disclaimer: Akina is my character. Sephiroth belongs to Square Enix or at least doesn't belong to me. I do not intend or expect to make any money from this creative work and do not claim any ownership of any part of the Final Fantasy fandom in any media.

A/N:  Wow, I never thought it would get to this point.  I sit here having re-read my entire story up to this point.  Guiltily I think about my novel still unfinished, but I want to write more on this.  It's almost done too. I can feel the ending, and it's satisfying. Maybe when I finish, I'll finally work up a postable draft of the sequel.  Oh yes dear reader, there's a sequel. I started it in a notebook years and years ago, and there it still sits to this day. Four times it's moved with me, possibly more.  

So this chapter then.  What to do? I have ideas you see, but I'm not set for certain.  I think about the slave traders Lina mentioned in passing that were on the news.  I could use that. It would tie in deliciously in a terrible cruel way. And Costa del Sol which Akina has stolen money from her store to reach thinking that will bring her far enough away from Sephiroth to be safe.  After all, she's really nothing special. No reason to track her down. Right? Right. 


"Maybe I'll try and make some good out of this mess and finally go see Costa del Sol.  It's really beautiful there from the images I've seen online." I tried to smile as I spoke, but my eyes itched and ached from crying and my lips only twitched slightly as if a smile was too great a burden for them to bear.  After a few moments, I stopped trying to smile and just tried to not break down in tears again. My eyes ached dryly which helped.


Lina nodded, but she only looked anxious when her eyes were on me.  They kept flicking to the door and there was something in them that I couldn't understand: hope.  I had failed to convince her, I realized as her chair scraped loudly against the tile floor. "I've seen pictures.  It is really pretty. I hope you can be happy and safe there." She spoke awkwardly, her dark eyes shying away from me.  Watching her turn away and walk out, I knew I would never see her again. I would wait at the last train, but I knew already she wouldn't come.  She didn't understand. My eyes stung dryly like more tears wanted to fall but there just weren't any left to shed. She wouldn't understand until it was too late.  Maybe it was already too late.


"Please be safe."  I whispered softly in the empty store, more a prayer than anything else.  It took me a minute, maybe longer to gather enough strength to rise from that table.  When I finally got up, I went to the back and cleaned out the safe. I'd need money to get to Costa del Sol after all and to start over.  No one would notice until tomorrow, maybe longer. I was scheduled to work alone this whole week. Cheap ass boss.


The stacks of gil were heavier than I'd expected piled into a tote bag with our chocobo mascot blazoned on either side under the name of the shop.  I would need a weapon to defend myself while traveling, but I couldn't buy one top side. Too many cameras. Too much suspicion. And there were waiting periods for guns.  


With the strap of the tote digging into my shoulder I made my way to the train platform.  The area wasn't packed, but it held more people than I'd expected. Students mostly. Lina's age...


"Ow! OW! Fuck!  Alright! I'm sorry!  I'm sorry man! Let go!"  A raised voice drew my attention and my heart skipped at the sight of him releasing a young man with spiky green hair.  Stomach dropping, a cold sweat rising, I ducked behind a large steel pillar.  Had he seen me? Lina...Lina was right there with him and that spiky haired guy.  Who was he? Did Sephiroth see me!?!


Questions ricocheted through my head as the handful of people nearest to me began to stare in my direction and murmur.  I could hardly blame them as I clutched my bag of money. Calm down. I need to calm down. Deep breath.


Train doors opened with a mechanical hiss, made me jump, and I almost cried out.  Peeking around the gleaming metal column that hid me, I watched him enter a train car with an arm around Lina.  There was nothing I could do to save her, though my heart ached imagining her fate.  I darted forward racing along the platform and stumbling into a young couple at the last moment as doors hissed shut behind me.  “Sorry. So sorry. Are you alright.”


“We’re fine.  Watch where you’re going next time.”  The young man snapped at me standing between me and his girlfriend protectively.


I nodded and hurried away, stumbling quickly up the train and away from Sephiroth and Lina.  Lina! That poor girl! No, don’t think about it. You can’t help her. Deep breath. Think. What’s my next step?


Weapons, provisions for traveling, home to pack a few things, then the south gate at ground level.  Find a transport. I should have counted the money while I was in the shop. I don’t even know how much I have.  Can I afford a vehicle? Probably not...Rent one maybe…or maybe a Chocobo...


Slowly, my panic ebbed into anxious alertness as I forced myself to focus on future problems.  At the next stop I waited again til the last possible second before stepping off the train and darting for the nearest pillar.  I didn’t want to be on that train with him so close. I couldn’t stay there.  


“Are you trying to hide?  From me?” My heart stopped at that cold voice, the soft chuckle following those words as I whipped around stumbling away from him.  The world slowed as my foot slipped in something unseen and I began to fall. I couldn’t react quickly enough, could barely begin to twist in an effort to catch myself, and then I hit the concrete.  Pain jolted through my hip and palms as my heart began to race. Scrambling to my feet, I felt the pavement scrape roughly at my knees.  


“What do you want?”  I asked trying to scream the words, but they were barely a whisper.  People were glancing at us, curious, but one sweeping look from him sent the small crowd hurrying on their way except for two girls who were watching us with a mesmerized expression.  Watching him.


“...”  Sephiroth studied me in silence for what felt like an eternity, but in truth was no more than a handful of rapid heartbeats.  He turned toward a set of stairs leading up and out his profile sharply defined by harsh electric lights. “You’re wasting your effort trying to run from me.  If I want you again, I’ll find you. No matter where you go.” He shut his eyes, silver brows furrowing in a moment of concentration. What was he-?


Then I felt IT!  A cold heat low in my belly.  A spreading numbness. With a sick rush of nausea, I hugged my belly tightly.  What was that?! That feeling?! It faded almost as quickly as it began. When I looked up, he was walking away.  “You’re mine Akina.” He called without looking back. “No matter where you run to in this world.”


A tear spilled down my cheek as he vanished abruptly.  “You don’t own me.” I whispered more to comfort and reassure myself than anything else.  Wiping my eyes, I hunkered down with my back against a pillar waiting for the next train down.  


He doesn’t own me.  He doesn’t. I repeat it silently to myself like a mantra, a protest against my worst fears as I board another train half an hour later.  I don’t get off until the last stop: ground level. The slums. Shops crowd each other around the platform. Neon lights flashed and shopkeepers bellowed competing for attention and money.  Cheap street food filled the air with a fragrant aroma of spice and grease. Bars advertised cheap drinks, and a few ramshackle buildings down a muddy uneven street was what I really wanted: weapons.


It was a narrow store front squeezed in between a bar and a gambling hall.  Iron bars over a single shop window and door gave an impression of security without hindering an impressive array of gear.  Three mannequins wore a variety of armors and wielded a gun, a sword, and a staff. They were practically arranged on top of one another, so when I stepped inside, a spacious interior surprised me enough to halt my progress.  My gaze swept over shelves as tight packed as the front window. It was almost more of a large hallway than a building. Above me, instead of a low ceiling there was a second floor with more merchandise openly visible from below.  


“You lost honey,” asked a young rough looking man with thick stubble and black hair tied back in a sloppy bun.  He had been angrily polishing materia behind a counter and paused to study me. Behind him sat a large battered easy chair that barely fit between a pair of  wraparound cases holding an array of materia spheres. Almost as soon as he looked at me, he was suddenly all smiles.


“No...well...I.  I’m looking for a weapon.”  What am I doing? This is crazy.  I’m crazy. What’s the point…if he can always find me. . .?  My gaze swept again over shelves lining crowded walls. They were stacked with guns, knives, swords, spears, staves, and more.  On the second floor armor dominated. And, on a closer inspection of the short jewelry style cases around him there were not only dozens of materia spheres,but  rings, earrings, necklaces, and Shinra’s famous armor Bangles.  


My gaze returned to him as his own finished looking me up and down.  “Heh. Boyfriend rough you up a little? Take my advice honey-” His words struck a raw nerve.


“He’s NOT my boyfriend and he doesn’t Own me!”  I yelled, my hands curling into fists. He raised an eyebrow at me questioningly.  “I’m sorry. I just. . .I just…”


“Alright hon.  I hear you. No one here is trying to own you.”  Slowly, with one brown eyes on me, he put the materia sphere he was polishing back into a case.  “You ever use any kind of weapon before?” I shook my head clutching reflexively at my bag. Stupid.  Why was I walking around carrying a bag of cash? Walking around the slums no less?! It was just begging for trouble.  I should have gone home first. Found something less conspicuous and cumbersome to carry. “Got any idea what you’re looking for?”  He asked coming out from behind the counter. A large pistol was prominently displayed in a thigh holster on his right leg.


“A gun…”  I said uncertainly eliciting a laugh from him.


“Honey, you lucked out coming in while I’m working the shop instead of my good for nothing old man!  Hahaha!” He slapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me toward a wall of military looking rifles.  They were a bit dated, but still intimidating. “He would have sold you the biggest shiniest shit and laughed all the way to the bank thinking about how hard you’d land on your ass trying to shoot it the first time.  Me? I’m a bit nicer. Name’s Reggie by the way.”


“Akina.”  I answered automatically as I pulled gently away from him.


“Akina.  That’s pretty.  Alright Akina, what we’ve got here are some of our bigger toys.  Probably too much kick for a novice like you to handle. No offense honey, just being honest.  Now for a first timer, I’d recommend…” Reggie tugged me down about three shelves to a wide variety of pistols.  “AShinra 38. Special. Now, don’t let the small size fool you. This little gun will put a very big hole in anything you aim it at.  Here, see how that feels in your hand.” He said catching my wrist with one hand and pressing the cool metal to my palm with the other.  It was heavier than I’d expected.  


“Would it be enough to take out ...a Soldier?”  I asked hesitantly as I cocked the hammer with my thumb.


Reggie’s smile faded.  “That not-boyfriend of yours is a pretty dangerous fella huh.”


“I’m leaving Midgar tonight.  I...he threatened to come after me.  Someday.” I admitted.


“Tonight?  There aren’t any caravans going out for at least a week.  You’re going into the Midgar Wasteland alone…?” Reggie asked surprised a hint of unexpected concern in his tone.  


“I have to.  I can’t stay in Midgar anymore.”


“That’s crazy.  You might as well just shoot yourself in the head.  It’d be cleaner than letting one of those mutations out there finish you off.  There’s a reason all supplies in and out of Midgar are carried in armored transport caravans under heavy guard.”  Reggie said sternly. 


Steeling my resolve I raised my gaze.  “I’m going, and I don’t need your permission.  Just your gear.”


Reggie looked startled at that, but his smile was quick to return.  It was softer though, more sincere now and less salesman. “You’re right.  Well, in that case, novice or not, you’re going to need some of our big toys.  They’re going to bruise the hell out of your shoulder, and if you don’t hold it tight and proper, you could break a bone.”


“Seriously…?”  I asked as we moved back to the assault rifles.  


“Dead serious honey.  You still certain you can’t hole up somewhere for a couple of days?”  Reggie asked eyeing me in a thoughtful way I didn’t entirely like.


“Dead certain.”  I replied without hesitation.  I need to leave Midgar. Put as much distance between me and him as I can.


Reggie chuckled.  “Alright. Let’s get you geared up with the best.”  For the next two hours he talked me through the ins and outs of the assault rifles.  Just assault rifles. I had no idea there was so much to know about shooting. There were different sizes or calibers of bullets and rates of fire, but there was also a wide range in how likely a gun was to jam, how easy it was to take apart and clean (I hadn’t even realized guns had to be taken apart to be properly cleaned which made Reggie shake his head and hint again that I shouldn’t leave tonight by myself), some guns could be adjusted to fire a single shot, a short burst, or continuously, and then there was magazine sizes to consider as well.  It made me a little dizzy trying to process all this new information, but Reggie was surprisingly patient with me which bothered me a little. Patience isn’t something you find an abundance of in the slums.  


At Reggie’s advice, I had settled on an MK-47 which he had informed me was an updated variation on the AK-47 with a lighter frame and greater accuracy without sacrificing any reliability.  Even with a lighter frame though, it still felt very heavy in my hands, especially in addition to the cash I was holding. Though both my shoulders were screaming at me for mercy, I couldn’t bring myself to set it down.  


“Alright, now, let's pick you out a good melee weapon and a knife.”  Reggie grinned taking the gun from me and laying it behind the counter.


“What?  Why?” I asked shifting my heavy bag to my left shoulder.


“Trust me, you’ll want a melee weapon, because you can run out of ammo, and suddenly your AR isn’t much better than an awkward club. As for a knife, well, if you get surprised, they’re small and convenient for close quarters.  Nevermind the wide range of non-combat uses. Make sense?” He finished crossing his arms over his broad chest.


In my mind, the thought of a knife took me back to his second visit with terrifying clarity.  I’d been a heartbeat away from taking my own life rather than trying to defend myself.  There was no defence against him. His overwhelming power…


“Hey?  Snap out of it.”  Reggie was snapping his fingers in my face.  With a start, I backed away from him a few steps.


“Sorry, I...I just was remembering something.”


“Flashbacks suck.  It’s alright. You’re here now.  In the present.” Reggie spoke calmly, his voice steady and reassuring in its sympathy.


“Have you ever...felt trapped by your past?”


“Funny you should ask that.”  He said turning away and moving toward a rack of spears.  “Most people, they think melee, they want one of those big fancy swords Shinra makes for their First and Second class Soldiers.  People underestimate the power of a good spear. After clubs, they are theoretically the oldest weapon type. Yeah, swords are flashy and devastating, but they take a lot of skill.  A lot of time and practice to master. A spear however, can be much more deadly in the hands of a novice than a sword. Pick the right tip, and it’s almost impossible to get it stuck in your enemy or in an environmental obstacle if you happen to miss your mark.  Take a look at these.”  


I trailed after him not pressing my question as I shifted my bag back to my right shoulder for what might have actually been the hundredth time.  There was a surprising variety in the shapes of the spearheads. One had a triangular head like an oversized arrow tip. Another was long and slender with a slight symmetrical curve to either side.  Next to that was one with three arrow like tips, the two on either side shorter than the primary tip in the middle and angled outwards. To the right of that was one with a small hammer head on one side and a long wicked looking hook on the other and a spike on top.  “Is this even a spear?”


“Technically, it’s a polearm.  That one’s a Crow’s Beak. The hammerhead there is mostly for counterweight.  The beak does the real damage.” He traced his fingers along the wicked curve of gleaming metal.  “And, it can hook an opponent’s weapon, if you know how to use it properly.”


“So, not really good for a novice.”  I stated more than asked as I looked to the next.  It had a broad flatter tip with small serrated teeth along the edges.  The more I looked at it, the more it reminded me of a very prickly leaf.  “This one? Would it get stuck because of the, the uh...prickly bits?”


“Serration.  And no. The broad base and curving shape also helps it to not get stuck.  I’d recommend a smooth edge for you though. Serration can be difficult to keep sharp in the wilds.”  He picked up another with a dark metal haft. “This one should be about your size.” It was lighter than I’d expected.  “Carbon steel alloy. Very light. You can throw it in a pinch, though I recommend you don’t unless you’re hunting.”




“The other advantage of the spear.  It’s good for hunting if your provisions run low.  Of course, that’s a whole other skill set you probably don’t have.”  He smirked, and it made me angry.


“Enough.  I get it. You think it’s really funny that I don’t know anything about fighting or traveling through the wilderness or anything like that!  I’m still going! I have to leave! You don’t understand what I’m up against!” I could feel tears trying to rise and blinked them back furiously.  Reggie’s smile had vanished, replaced by a scowl.


“You know what?  You’re right. You don’t know a damn thing about defending yourself Or surviving off the land and I don’t know a damn thing about what you’re running from.  But, I do know you’ll get yourself killed by something out there if you try to run alone. Or worse, you’ll get picked up by slave traders.” There was pain in his anger.  “You, you don’t get it! You’re just like her! She thought she could pick up a gun and run away from Midgar too! Damn it!” His fist struck the wall with a sharp retort that drew an irritated protest from someone on the other side.  “And for fuck’s sake, quit clutching at your bag. I’m not going to rob you.”


I let go of the bag and tightened my grip on the spear.  “Maybe I should find a different shop…”


Reggie’s anger melted away.  “No, that’s not what I meant.  I just…” He turned away raking both hands over his scalp mussing his black hair a little.  “She asked me to go with her, and I didn’t do it. Then, we heard her caravan got ambushed by old man blamed himself, started drinking himself into an early grave.  But, he’s wrong. It’s my fault she got taken. I should have been there with her. Even now, I could go after her, track her down, but I’m...I’m too much of a gods damned coward.”


“I don’t understand.  What are you scared of?  You know so much about all these weapons, and from the way you talk, you know how to fight.”  He gave a single bitter laugh at that. “She’s your sister. Why-”


“Because I’m fucking ashamed!”  Reggie yelled rounding on me. “Everything she’s suffered since leaving, it’s all my fault.”


“That’s stupid.  And very egotistical.”  I felt a twinge of guilt after all the patience he’d shown me before, but I continued.  “She made a choice. The people who attacked her, they made a choice. You chose not to go.  It’s not all on you what happened. What will happen. You’re scared of dying out there. That’s why you didn’t go in the first place isn’t it?”  He nodded with gritted teeth. “You tried to stop her, like you’ve been trying to stop me since I walked in practically.” Another stiff nod. “It didn’t work then, and it won’t work now.  I’m scared of dying out there too, but I’m more scared of staying in Midgar. So, the question is, does never knowing what happened to your sister scare you more than the thought of dying out there while looking for her?  Well? Does it?” He stared at me in shock, eyes wide with a mixture of disbelief, fear, and sudden realization.


“Yeah...yeah, it does.  You never said, where it is you’re planning to go.”


“I hadn’t really planned that far.  Costa del Sol maybe, but maybe just staying on the move.”  I shrugged.


“I could use some help, looking for my sister…”  A smirk tugged at his lips and an answering grin tugged at my own.


“I’m not really much good at fighting or tracking.”


“No, but I could teach you.  And you’re good at something that’s a little more important.”


“What’s that?”  I asked puzzled.


“Making me realize I had a choice every single fucking day.”  Reggie grinned, and I laughed.


“Yeah,’s easy to forget you have a choice when you feel trapped.  So, I like this spear. What about some armor and materia?” I nodded toward the second floor.


“I was thinking light armor.  You know how Shinra’s bangle series works?”  I shook my head as we started walking. “They wrap your body in a small personal forcefield.  It’ll reduce damage you’d take even from spells to a degree. Do you know about linking materia?”  I shook my head. It was going to be a long afternoon, and probably a late night, but as I paused to set my bag behind the counter, I felt something I hadn’t ever expected to feel again.  Hope.


Author’s closing Note:

This chapter really ended up surprising me.  Not only is it longer than I expected, Sephiroth demonstrated a power we’ll see again in the sequel.  Hopefully sooner than another ten years from now. The FF7 Remake has me both excited and angry, which is probably the main reason why I’ve come back to this story.  I hate how they’ve replaced the original English Voice Acting cast, but they’re keeping the Japanese VA cast. It feels very unfair, not just to fans, but to the VA’s as well.  Many of whom are upset at not being given a chance to return. The new batch of VA’s are pretty lackluster and severely disappointing so far in one to one comparisons that I’ve seen.  Anyways, I shouldn’t turn my AN into a rant about the remake.

I really wanted Sephiroth to make a brief boogeyman appearance in this chapter.  He’s sated after all, so doesn’t need Akina, but he’s also still angry with her for rejecting him.  

So, some little things that didn’t make it INTO the chapter entirely obviously.  

1: What did Sephiroth do to her?

Remember in Advent Children when Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz were collecting kids with geostigma?  Well, Geostigma is supposedly a response to Jenova cells right? So, how did so many kids end up with Jenova cells in them?  I’m pretty sure Barrett would have ranted at least once if Marlene had been kidnapped and used for experimentation by Shinra.  No, I think Jenova cells are infectious and transmittable, like a virus. Or maybe more like a parasite. These transferred cells are imperfect and less potent, perhaps due to mutation or Shinra meddling with the DNA.  Regardless, they do allow a strong carrier like Sephiroth to influence carriers of weaker cells. Which also very neatly explains why the Remnants only gathered children when there were surely thousands of trained adult former and current members of Soldier infected with Jenova cells and suffering Geostigma.  They weren’t strong enough themselves to influence anybody but the weakest carriers. Children whose parents (or at least one parent) were exposed to Jenova in some way. Might not Shinra have infected the slums water supply to increase their knowledge base of the Jenova cells affects on living organisms?  

Oo, I’m rambling.  I really should make some youtube videos on some of my theories.

2: Reggie?

Where did this guy come from?  Heck if I know. I knew Akina needed weapons and armor and materia.  He was just some random nameless shopkeeper initially, but he kept poking his nose into Akina’s business.  Why? I had to ask. Had to find out. It took a bit of prodding, but eventually he gave me a reason, and I gotta say, I kinda love it.  Guilt, shame, fear, anger, and hiding it all behind a cocky smile. I feel like I might need to give these two their own little story at some point.  

My story pile is truly massive.

Anyway, he charmed me, and managed to charm Akina.  

Lastly, I apologize if some readers got bored with my detailed shopping trip.  I feel like it did drag the story a bit, but I also really like writing about weapons.  They fascinate me.  

Okay, super long Author’s Closing Note coming to an end.  This story has one more chapter after much discussion with Rina.  I regret what I have to do to Lina, but...well...Sephiroth is not entirely stable.  Physically or mentally.

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