Final Fantasy VII: MST3K

BY : Kiune
Category: Final Fantasy VII > General
Dragon prints: 899
Disclaimer: We do not own Final Fantasy VII or MST3K nor do we make money from it. But we do own you.

Authors Note: Hello Faithful Readers; your trusty drunken parody writers here with a new MST3K series. Yes, we’ve published this one already…what, two and a half years ago?... but we’re much funnier now and have more substances in our systems, so we decided to do a new and improved version to kick off our new series of bad, weird, or good-yet-pervertable story reviews.

And now, for this fanfiction’s drinking game: Drink every time the story mentions Sephiroth being inside Aerith. (Caution: Do not attempt with hard liquor, you will get very drunk. We are not responsible for alcohol poisoning or regrettable one-night stands.)

MST3K: by Guardian Kiune and CraicRocker

We begin in a dark theater with nine people shuffling into their seats amidst much swearing, collision, and stubbed toes.

Barret: Ow! Damn it Cloud, your hair nearly blinded me!

Cloud: Sorry, I can’t see shit! Hey, I think I found the back of a seat… huh, kinda lumpy.


Cloud: Really? You don’t say… (doesn’t stop fondling them)

Tifa: You have a real death wish, don’t you.

Cloud: You let me touch them before…

Tifa: (blushes) Meteor was coming and we were heading toward almost certain death at the bottom of a cave! I just didn’t want to die a virgin and you were the only one who didn’t have family to say goodbye to!

Cloud: (sniffles) You didn’t have to be so mean about it…

Tifa: (growls) You’re still touching them.

Cloud: Heh.

Cid: Stop squabbling, kids, I got the whole thing on tape, we can watch it later.

Tifa and Cloud: WHAT?!

Aerith: Would you guys shut up? I want to watch my new story…fanfiction…movie…projected somehow… I don’t know how this works, just sit down and shut up.

Sephiroth: Excuse me? “Your” new movie-story-thing? Anyway, it’s apparently some new fangled neo-ShinRA torture device that utilizes fourth-wall breaking technology and—

Vincent: SHUT UP OR I’LL SHOOT YOU ALL!!! It’s starting.

Credits roll…

By, Ambrosia Goddess

Cloud: … there’s a goddess of embryos?

Tifa: Shut-up dumbass… AND LET GO OF MY FUCKIN’ BOOBS ALREADY!!! (cracks a whip)

Cloud: (cowers in a corner) I’ll be good…

Darkness all around him, but he enjoy being in a place without light. His long silver hair flowing down his back and shoulder like a gorgeous waterfall. His mako green eyes shimmering in the darkness around him but within them, they carry out a deadly threat. He wore the same black clothes and long trench coat as before.

Tifa: He had also never laundered them in five years. The stench repelled his enemies.

However, there was something very different about him. His whole life had been only misery and anguish…

Yuffie: So he went to go angst in a coffin forever and ever, the end.

Vincent: Stay the hell out of my coffin.

…now he will make all the disgusting people of this planet pay for what they done. Pay for every single thing they done to him in the pass, they cannot stop him now. Sephiroth looked down at his black gloved hands and sneer.

Tifa: Trying to look at his own sneer made him cross-eyed.

What one man could not do… he did… single handedly;

Cid: I think most guys can do that single handedly… ‘cept me of course, I need both hands.

Sephiroth executed thousands among thousands of useless humans. Not even an ocean of blood can measured up to how many people he killed. He was proud of himself and so was his mother, Jenova. Oh, and about Jenova… his mother… he grinned to himself. He "accidentally" burned what was left of her head.

Sephiroth: That incinerator was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Ever since Sephiroth expel his dearest mother out of his head… he realize what he was doing was utterly wrong. However, it was the pass and if he could, he will not erase it. Mother… She should have never trusted him…

Cid: She sort of had no choice, she was pretty much a head in a box…

Yuffie: I could make a really bad pun about giving head right now. (giggles immaturely)

Sephiroth: Hey! That’s my mom you’re talking about.

Vincent: Says the man who keeps his mother’s head in a box.

Narrator: (clears throat) May I continue?

Tifa: What if there were a mix-up at Junon airport, and someone took your mom’s head with them to, like, Icicle Town, and…

Narrator: (clears throat very loudly)

Tifa: (sulks) Oh, fine.

Narrator: Thank you. As I was saying:

She should have never trusted him…since he became ruler of the entire world, he had no use of her. He banishing Jenova out of his mind and out of his life, Sephiroth never carried about her feelings.

Cid: Just her head.

He shook that thought aside and started thinking about puppet's little group that try to stand in his way.

"I wonder what those fools are doing." He said with his ignorant smirk that he usually wears. He started feeling his smooth luxurious hair with his gloved hand.

Sephiroth: It is very difficult to feel my smooth luxurious hair with this glove on.

He knew damn well that AVALANCHE was sitting in one of his dungeon like a bunch of jackasses.

Aerith: What jackasses would normally do sitting around in a dungeon.

RedXIII: Why would one keep their jackasses in a dungeon, I thought equines were normally kept in barns. I’ll never understand you bipeds.

All but one of the members was not with them, and that was the Cetra named Aerith. He laughed sinfully…

Cloud: He normally laughs like a nun.

…what could a little flower girl do to him?

Aerith: Sephiroth are you allergic to pollen?

Sephiroth: No, I don’t think so…

Aerith: I suppose I’ll just have to beat you to death with a giant sunflower.

The Great General Sephiroth, handsome and always one-step ahead of the game. The whole group could not even stop him from becoming a god, his plan was completed. He wounded the Planet with Meteor and absorbed the entire life stream sent to heal the damage that he cause.

He recalled how Barret and that feline…

Cloud: Feline? We sent Cait Sith?! No wonder it all went to shit!

Tifa: I think that was supposed be referring to RedXIII.

RedXIII: I am not a feline.

Cid: Then what the hell are you?

RedXIII: …I don’t know, but I am terribly lonely.

…try to protect the planet the best they could. Those fools were even able to break Meteor, because of this some large rock came crushing down. However, their effort was futile, Meteor came and devastating the planet, killing them as well.

Barret: Yeah, yeah, I see what’s going on, kill off the black guy first. Grrr…

Sephiroth snarl with pleasure recalling the colossal Meteor pounding down on them.

Tifa: That snarl was somewhat like the sound Vincent makes when picking some new gun accessory – you know he likes what he sees but you have to wonder just how much he likes it.

Yuffie: And just what his intentions towards that poor gun barrel were.

Vincent: I am not sure what you are insinuating, but I assure you, my relationship with my guns is perfectly consensual.

They were lucky for the quick death, because if Sephiroth had a hole of them they would have been torture in the sickest way imaginable.

Red XIII: Um…what?

Barret: Don’t ask, I’d really rather not know.

However, he wanted her dead, his hate for her was almost equal to the hate he felt for Cloud. She was to pure hearted that it was madness. Sephiroth's eye widen as he recalled how he killed his long time enemy.

Sephiroth: (Attempts to widen only one eye)

Vincent: Don’t make that face, it’ll get stuck that way.

Yuffie: I think he’d look sexy in a jaunty eyepatch.

If it wasn't for Cloud himself pushing her out of the way, she would have been dead by now. No matter, the puppet was dead, Sephiroth remembers all the detail. As he was falling from the sky aiming at the little flower girl… however, he killed the puppet name Cloud.

Sephiroth: Whoops, I broke the puppet…(sigh) Mother always told me to be more careful with my toys.

Sephiroth twisted the Masamune into him causing even more pain to his almost lifeless body. He did not stop there… Sephiroth started cutting and hacking at his motionless remains. Repeatedly he slash until you could not even make out the face of the victim.

Cloud: My face! My beautiful… err, I mean handsome face! (Runs away crying)

Tifa: You shouldn’t have done that; you know his looks were really all he had going for him.

It pleased him to cause something that he hated with passion to die by his hands. He saw the tears in the Ancient's eyes, also in the woman name Tifa. The remanding members of Cloud's group looked in complete horror.

Sephiroth burst out laughing at his job well done, has soon has his laugh started, it violently ended.

Barret: In a fit of weed-induced coughing

Sephiroth: Yeah, I hadn’t had herb that good since Genesis was around. Or didn’t you ever wonder why he never got tired of reading Loveless?

He looked that his surrounding, loving the fact that he took over Shinra mansion when he finish off the owner. He turn the lovely mansion into a place that belong somewhere in hell, the main colors was a blood red and black.

Vincent: That bastard stole my color scheme!

Standing up he made his way to look out of a large balcony that was connected to his master bedroom. Sephiroth feeling high…

Barret: Told you.

and self-important now has an army beside him, to do as he pleases. He no longer took orders from no one, he was above the rank of General. Looking down at his gigantic…

Yuffie: Tehehe…

…army, he smirked. Abruptly his mood changed from content to raging mad. He slammed him hands on the railing making a large dent in it.


"I WANT HER DEAD OR ALIVE!!!!" Sephiroth shouted slamming his hands on the rail breaking it in half. This cause his army to fear him, as they should.

Cloud: So… does he have an army of railings or something?

Tifa: Yes, and its not very easy to find uniforms for them either.

However, they knew damn well, whom he was talking about… It was that Cetra, Aerith, member of AVALANCHE. Does he want to finally finish her off as well?


The entire army gasp, 6 MILLION GIL?! However, only 3 million to kill her?

Barrett: And only a mil for a blowjob?

That does not make any sense… unless he really wants her alive but not saying it. 6 million gil was a god's blessing, especially at this day and age where food and gil is hard to come across. Without even hesitating, his SOLDIERs rapidly started to give…

Cid: …Sephiroth blowjobs.

…out the news of the reward if they fine the Ancient, Aerith…

Aerith: Strangely enough, Sephiroth’s empire is very draconian about parking laws.

The hunt for the Cetra now began… please of what he saw Sephiroth growled and made his way to the dungeon to talk to puppets little friends…

Cid: Sephiroth’s sock puppet has friends?

Aerith: That’s either really cute or really creepy.

SOLDIERs ran pass the dark cave like dungeon in a hurry. Two of them stop right next to AVALANCHE'S cell and started talking…

"WOW!! 6 million gil, I cannot believe this is happening… I can feed my family without any trouble for that amount of money." One of the SOLDIERs said, out of breath from running to hard. Leaning on the walls of the dungeon looking at his partner.
"Yes I know, this girl must he important to him, either that or she gone and pissed him off. Whatever, the circumstances is I'm glad I'm…

Tifa: Not parked illegally.

…not in her shoes, that poor soul. She fucked with the wrong lunatic and now this Aerith Gansborough girl is going to be punished." Before the AVALANCHE could say anything, the SOLDIERs that were near the cell ran, almost certainly to get the reward money for Aerith's capture.

Yuffie: Don’t you just love it when they describe important plot details right next to where you’re hiding?

Tifa: I knew it would pay off to hang that sign, “Practice Monologues Here.”

Tifa's heart felt like it just stopped but she was not alone on that feeling. Vincent, Cid and Yuffie looked alarm. All four of the members put their hands on their chest.

All: I pledge allegiance, to the flag…

Heart pounding and eyes wide, telling themselves this cannot be real. A mad man trapped them all in a dungeon and poor Aerith is going to be hunted down like a dog.

Yuffie: Kinky.

Tifa could not take it any longer, she through her head back and started sobbing. Cloud was no longer among the living… her dear Cloud…the only regret she had was not telling him how she felt.

Tifa: Feelings my ass, the guy owed me 500 gil!

The only thing she wanted to do was hold him and for him to return the feelings she felt.

Why?! Her mind shriek at her…

Tifa: Ow, my ears!

…why didn't he let Aerith die?! Tifa took hold of soil that made up the cell's floor. If only Aerith would of die… if… if… she bite her bottom lip at what she just was thinking about. Tears started rolling down her beautiful face, her chocolate colored eyes shinning with pure horror. How could she be…

Aerith: Stupid enough to loan Cloud money.

…so self-centered, to the point of wishing her best friend to die in replace of the one she loved? That thought alone made her feel no better then Sephiroth himself. The others looked at Tifa in awe; they knew what was racing in her head.

Vincent: Cool, I’m psychic?

Barret: I pity the fool who doesn’t call Barret’s Psychic Hotline!

The whole scene of Cloud dying, and the others, was indeed tremendous. No one wanted to talk and 9 minutes passed until Vincent broke the silence.

Cid: By farting…

Vincent: Shut-up Cid! You always blame me… besides that was Chaos.

"We need to get a hold of Aerith and tell her the news… knowing her, she probably trying to free us." Vincent said looking at the ground to scare to show the others emotions that he felt. Emotions that are meant for Cloud and the others that die.

Tifa: Wait, you have emotions?

Vincent: Yes, but I apparently manage to scare them all away by looking at the floor.

"Yes… you're right…" Yuffie said pulling out a device that was use to stay in touch with the group. "Hopefully she will answers… Aerith is our only hope now…"

Sephiroth: Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.

Yuffie said tearfully. Cid just snored and started to smoke his cigarette.

Yuffie: So…he’s smoking in his sleep?

Cid: I’m just talented like that. Took years to perfect…and stop snorting lit cigarettes…

Just when Cid was finally started to like Barret as a friend…

Cid: As a friend! Just as a friend!

…he was gone and so was Red.

It was a hard day as always… Aerith was at her job trying to earn some money. Slowly sliding down a metal pole, she licked it and…

Cid: And Unfortunately it was below freezing in the club, making her tongue stick to the pole. But doing fabulous things for her nipples.

…receive yells of pleasure from the male crowd. She was a shame of her job…

Vincent: Not only ashamed, but a shame… the incarnation of shame.

…but in order to make a living these days it has to be done. Selling flowers in the street cannot pay the bills among bills that needed to be paid to live in her very small house. Aerith was wearing gold stars around her nipples…

Yuffie: Apparently, the club was full of kindergarten teachers that night who thought her performance was very “special.”

…an a G-string, and nothing more. She had to over come her shyness in order to be a "dancer." The gil was good… and it took time to get used to it. Her reddish-drown hair fell down her back and shoulders, out of the annoying braid.

Aerith: I think it’s a lot more annoying now that it’s trying to drown me.

She bit her bottom lips that were the color of ruddy red lipstick and she wore gold eye shadow to match her stars. Aerith was the best dancer that Sol De La Luna had.

Red XIII: “Sun of the Moon”? Sun of the Moon?? What freakish cosmological phenomenon is this? (sigh) Grandfather would have a fit.

Men flock to get a glimpse of her angelic face . She was a rare beauty indeed. Her round breasts jiggle when she made swift movement. Her curvy tan ass that men were so tempted to bite was flawless. Aerith's green eyes a long side with her reddish-brown hair looked exotic. More then half of the men in the crowd had an erection.

Tifa: The rest were waiting for the male strippers.

She could not help it and blushed when they started drooling when she licked her finger as if it was the best ice cream she ever had.

Aerith: Mmmmm…. meee.

When her number was finally finished, she went back stage to talk to her friends. Aerith took a deep breath and a sigh of relief; she didn't like to be the center of attention.

"Wow Aerith! That was some great dancing out there! You should teach me how to dance like that… how much money did you make from that one performance? 159 gil… 250 gil?"
Aerith could not help it and started blushing. She told her friend Tina that she made 358 gil just from that one dance number… that amount of money broke her record that was set at 250. Tina just gasp at what she heard. Aerith just made 358 extra gil plus the normal salary which is 13 gil and hour.

Barret: Wait… by gil standards, isn’t that pay actually really shitty?

Aerith: So I don’t make enough in a week to buy a freakin’ potion?

After she was done talking to her friend, Aerith made her way to the locker room to get her stuff and go home. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, she needed to free her friends out of Sephiroth's hold. Before she could react the mechanism that connected her to her friend started beeping.

Cid: On my planet we call them phones.

She quickly started to search for it in her black bag that she carried around.

"Hello?! Who is it?!" Aerith sound out of breath as if she had been running for miles.
"It's me Y- ffie"… the signal was dreadful but she was able to make out the name Yuffie.
"Yuffie?! Are you ok? Are the others ok too? Please answer me Yuffie." Aerith heart was throbbing with relief and horror.

Yuffie: Fuckin’ Verizon! No dead zones my ass!

"Ae-Aerith… w-we are fine as of yet… but your in danger, Aerith!" Yuffie said before getting the machine stolen from her. "Aerith… this is me Tifa… run! Hide somewhere you cannot be seen in public. Sephiro-…." Before Tifa could tell her what was going on, the signal was broken. Leaving both Aerith and Tifa astonished and speechless.

Aerith body started to quiver…

Aerith: Damn, that warning of impending doom was a real turn-on.

…the only question she can ask herself was what’s going on and she did not have an answer for that. She got dress quickly, wearing a pink white beater and pink shorts that can barely cover her ass. Remembering what Tifa said about not being able to be seen in public, she rapidly wrapped a black scarf around her hair and covered her eyes with sunglasses.

Tifa: A pink beater, tiny pink shorts, a black scarf and sunglasses. No, that’s not at all conspicuous.

Aerith: Is there a reason I have to look like a prostitute off stage as well?

Leaving Sol De La Luna, Aerith notice something that almost halt her heart. In big bold letter there was an flyer that pronounce something that was unreal…

Cloud: Alien squids abduct Bigfoot! Loch Ness monster left to raise lovechild alone!

Aerith Gainsborough wanted
Height: around 5 ft to 5'6
Hair color: reddish-brown
Eye color: Green
Appear to be around her 20's
Reward: 3 million gil for her death, 6 million for her capture alive
For more details please contact Shinra mansion.

Yuffie: No purchase necessary, some restrictions may apply, act now and receive a free 1/35 Soldier doll!

Aerith just stood there reading the flyer over and over again… until at last, the letters kicked into her head. WANTED… ME?!

Vincent: That is usually what a ‘wanted’ poster with your name on it means, yes.

This has to be the work of one man… and he goes by the name of Sephiroth.

Cid: Except at night, when he goes by the name of Doctor Love.

Therefore, this is what Tifa was trying to inform me about… the mad man is finally out to kill me. The scene of Cloud and the others dying rush to her head, and she could not help but wonder if that’s going to happen to her… Aerith coming back to realty…

Aerith: Well, real estate does pay better than “dancing.”

…told herself that she has to be strong for her friends. She was going to the mansion to release them.

Aerith: Then sell the mansion as a cozy fixer-upper.

She knew this plan of her could be deadly and fatal

Tifa: Deadly AND fatal, that’s one hell of a plan!

Aerith: Yes, there’s a chance I may die to death.

…but she must do it… for her love ones and those who die in vain. I have to out smart him, she told herself, that is the only way. I can not bet him with physical strength alone.

Sephiroth walked silently to the prison he trapped puppet's friends in. However, his thought were on someone else.

Cloud: Reeve.

Barrett: Dio.

Yuffie: The Chocobo Sage.

Cid: Heidegger.

Ever since he saw Aerith he couldn't get her out of his head. Her innocent face still fresh in his mind…

Tifa: Ziploc mind storage – for all your face-preserving needs!

…and the way she smiled at Cloud almost lovingly. How dare she smile at him so! Sephiroth thought heatedly…

Cid: Jesus, even in his inner monologue he sounds like a pretentious asshole.

… she should only smile at him that way… what the fuck am I thinking?! I want to kill her not touch her smooth lips… or make her shiver under me. ::sigh:: it's been a while since I had a woman to entertain me. Grinning to himself Sephiroth going to throw a "party" and have some arousing women to show up. Being ruler does have it's fun points.

Sephiroth: Beer keg, check…funny hats, check…arousing women, check…

Sephiroth standing just outside of AVALANCHE's cell he saw something in Tifa's hand. "Well what do we have here?" He sounded to much as the devil himself.

Red XIII: No, no, no…simile OR metaphor, you must pick one.

Tifa only looked at him with her mouth open.

"It's nothing!" She said almost to cowardly and kicked herself for it. She conceal the object from his view by placing it to her back.

Tifa: He’ll never look there!

Cloud: You should have hidden it in your bra, there’s more room—

Tifa: (smacks Cloud)

Looking at his eyes, she saw her beloved Cloud die. How his blood spilled out of his mouth as he try to escape Sephiroth's hacking at his almost dead body.

Aerith: A little known fact about Sephiroth is that his head is a television set, allowing him to play disturbing films to traumatize his victims. The VCR is in his nose.

Cid: (looks thoughtfully at Sephiroth, then whips out the “Cloud and Tifa Sex Tape” and proceeds to attack Sephiroth’s nose with it)

Sephiroth: Ow! Ow! Ow! AAAAAAAAHHH!! Help!

Sephiroth stood only gazing at the younger woman, he knew what was racing in her mind. "So you think if you can get in touch with the Ancient that you can warn her in time?" He said growling in distaste. "I will slaughter her, In front of you and the others, just like I did to Cloud!" The look in his face was pure madness, for a man that did not show emotions, he was now. "And if you think that I'm simple minded like your leader to think that the Cetra won't try to save you… you have another thing coming."

Tifa let tears fall at the remark of Cloud's death… oh how it hurts her mentality. Her bottom lip started to tremble along with her whole body. The others just watch, they wanted to say something but didn't know how the lunatic might act. Vincent looked on, his red eyes locked on Sephiroth and every move he made.

Vincent: Every step you take…every vow you break…I’ll be watching you.

Cid just keep smoking his cigarette, eyes wide and gazing, thinking about how someone could lose their mind like this.

Yuffie: You’ll know soon enough, Cid. It’s only a matter of time before you run out of cigarettes in our little cell.

Cid: (talking to his cigarettes and cuddling them) You’ll never leave me my babies.

Vincent: (as Cid) Even though I routinely light your heads on fire and suck your life force out of you for my own pleasure.

He knows now… Tifa thought… knows that Aerith is going to try to save them. Yuffie looked on, she lost all hope of being saved. However, Vincent and Cid told themselves that Aerith will make it through all this, they still have hope.

Cloud: They’re holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night.

Aerith: I’ve gotta be strong, and I’ve gotta be fast, and I’ve gotta be fresh from the fight.

In a blink of an eye Sephiroth, hastily left the cave like dungeon.

He made his way to his master bedroom and found Kilo…

Cid: His pet cocaine stash.

…an old man around his 60's. He wasn't bright, but he wasn't completely useless.

Barret: I never heard that euphemism for coke before.

Sephiroth made himself a Bloody Mary, he loves having a bar next to his bed.

Yuffie: What a lush.

Slowly he sat down near the fire place, looking at the flames he couldn't help but think about Nibelheim.

Tifa: The town right outside his front door.

Sephiroth made a fist to rested his chin on it, he was lost to the world around him. Until a cough from Kilo snapped him out of his dream world.

"My lord, what is it that you wish me to do." Kilo said terrified of his new Master. It was a nightmare when Sephiroth came and killed off half of the people that worked in the mansion. Gods… why did this man show him mercy?

Cid: Why did Sephiroth have to show him mercy? He liked it rough and Sephiroth had been disturbingly gentle lately.

"Kilo… Sephiroth said with his emotionless voice… I want to be entertain, you know what to do."

Cid: (as Kilo) Oh... alright (obediently gets down on his knees in front of Sephiroth).

Sephiroth: No, no, not that.

Cid: (as Kilo) Oh THAT… (stands up, lowers his trousers and bends over the desk)

Sephiroth: No! no! no! I want women this time! Real women, so don’t go get the wig either…

Cid: (as Kilo) (runs away sobbing) You don’t love me anymore!

Sephiroth heard him exit his master bedroom, to do his bidding. Whatever Sephiroth wanted… he surely got.

"Gods!" Aerith shriek, if he finds her… he will certainly gut her alive.

Aerith: So I think I’ll stand out in public and scream, that’ll keep attention diverted.

Panic started to show but for a good reason. Ever since Sephiroth made flyers and even TV commercial about her capture the whole town been after her. No where is safe, not even her home. Aerith started to break down crying at the mention of her house, she been robbed. Everything had been stolen from her, and the only money she has was in her black bag. She couldn't just go to the bank and pull out gil, they would know it was her!

::sigh:: 6 million gil was the reward a person would of got for her capture. For that kind of money…

Aerith: I’d give Sephiroth six blowjobs.

…I turn myself in… Aerith mentality kicked herself…

Aerith: Ow! I hate when my multiple personalities go at each other.

Cloud: You think that’s bad, mine have sex with each other.

Vincent: Mine have sex with other people.

…who knows what that man has in store for her. She fear the thought of being abused by him… it wouldn't be pretty. Before she even acknowledge it, she was standing right outside of Shinra mansion.

Aerith had a knot in her stomach just thinking about what Sephiroth did to the owner.

Barret: Was Kilo the owner? ’Cause if he was, you really don’t want to think about that.

I have to be strong… I have to be strong, she kept repeating that in her head with her eyes closed. Without warning Aerith flat out ran into someone.

Oh by the Gods, Aerith told herself… to scared to look at the person she ran into. Will they be able to know me by my looks? She pushes the sunglasses up and try her best to hide her voice. "Oh sorry there…." Aerith said trying not to make eye contact even with the sunglasses on.

"You!" Kilo holler, stooping one of his foot to the ground.

Red XIII: Umm…what?

Sephiroth: I don’t believe you should be doing that in public…wait, what precisely are you doing? Fetch my arousing women, you can Riverdance later!

She only stood there motionless… he knows?! "You young lady will not kept lord Sephiroth waiting. Don't you know that he has a bad temper. Where are the other dancers? My master really hate to be put off like this, oh well one dancer has to do."

What the… "I'm not a dancer"… Aerith kicked herself mentality…

Aerith: Haha, vengeance! And ow.

…yes she was. "I mean do I look the part?" Way to go Aerith… do I really sound that desperate?

Aerith: He’ll totally ignore the first thing I said.

Kilo looked at Aerith up and down. He saw that she was wearing a pink white beater and shorts that can't even cover her ass. He started laughing his ass off right in front of Aerith… he was laughing?!… Aerith was angry.

Cloud: He was pumping iron?!…. Aerith was swooning.

Cid: He was Riverdancing?!…Aerith was “entertain”.

Yuffie: He was juggling geese?!

Aerith: Aerith was…confused.

"I don't know what game your playing young one, but your playing to lose. Now come my master awaits." With that Kilo open the doors to the mansion… the adventure to save her friends began. Hopefully it does not end any time soon.

Vincent: Oh, hopefully it does.

"Now my dear, the "theme" to this little "party" of his is a belly dancer or a genie."

Red XIII: He even “bought” little cups and “plates” with Disney’s “Aladdin” characters printed on “them”.

Vincent: How are you doing the little “quote” things when you don’t have “fingers”?

Kilo said grinning ear to ear making Aerith have a knot in her stomach... "just a little knot in her stomach one".

Tifa: There was a slightly larger knot in her stomach two, but her stomachs three and four were fine.

"Now then… Kilo threw a small box to Aerith who just stood there looking dumfounded. In the box was a black and red gear with gold coins, Aerith couldn't make out what it was for certain but she didn't like it already.

Sephiroth: Then a small Italian plumber ran in, stole all the coins and one of Aerith’s flowers, then started shooting fireballs at some turtles.

Barrett: …Pass that joint this way, man.

"I'll be back to fetch you, I'm going to inform my Lord that you’re here."

She quickly put on the damn thing…

Aerith: Well at least I didn’t have to dress up as Princess Jasmine.

…like she cared about what Sephiroth wants her to wear. However, if she gets caught… she could say that she was going to the bathroom… like he would care. I need to find my friends… Aerith started to panic… it would take days to fine them in this place.

Cid: They had six cars blocking the fire lane in front of the mansion.

With out thinking about it she stopped and looked into a mirror. Gods… is that really me, Aerith said touching her cheek. Looking into the mirror, she couldn't help but be in a state of shock. She was stunning… unquestionably gorgeous.

Tifa: And modest too.

Her breasts round and full in her small black bra that had gold coins around the edge of it. Her sheer pants adorned with coin trims making her appear like a exotic animal waiting to be domesticated.

Vincent: Since when do exotic animals wear pants?

Red XIII: And since when are they waiting to be domesticated?

Her pants that came to her hips was black but when she moved a certain way they turned red. Then she acknowledge something that made her face flush, her sheer pants are see through!

Cid: Sorta by definition, yeah.

Tifa: What’s the point of even wearing pants at that point?

Her blush face double the redness…

Cloud: (concentrating) I will NOT make engrish jokes, I will NOT make engrish jokes!

…when she saw the thong that she was wearing, that was also trimmed with coins. ::sigh:: am I trying to seduce Sephiroth or free my friends?

Sephiroth: Oh come now, it really isn’t a difficult decision to make.

She quickly put on a veil that cover her nose, hair, and mouth… and a metal belt with dangling coins around her waist. Two gold bangle bracelets with bells on each of her wrist, and lastly slipped on some gold and black high heels.

Aerith: (whistles) Damn, I’d fuck me.

It was time… I have to face my fears, she told herself. She gradually made it to he door and into the darkness of the hallway. It was hard to see her hands that was in front of her face and almost stumble over the rug that was on the floor.

Cid: Maybe you could see where you’re going if your hands weren’t in front of your face.

She walked slowly in the dark hallway, afeard to trip over something. Aerith started feeling the walls in hopes of finding anything that can lead her to Tifa and the others. A doorknob!

Aerith: Holy Shiva, a doorknob, I’m saved!

Her mind roared at her to opened it. She made her way inside and shut the door be hide her.

"Well… what have we here." Said a deep flat voice… it was the Diablo himself. Aerith had manage to fine her way into his master bedroom. He didn't even look up to see her, he was gazing at the flames.

Cloud: Flames? What flames?

Sephiroth: From the fireplace I’ve apparently been staring at since I got that Bloody Mary from “Kilo the Friendly Coke Stash” a few pages ago.

However, Aerith was starting to hyperventilate… she would of passed out by now but her will won't let her! Sephiroth looked at Aerith through the corner of his eyes, she did the same, not wanting to face him.

Those eyes… could it be… no, the Ancient isn't as simple minded to really come here. Coming here was like begging me to kill her.

Aerith: Yes, please kill me, take me out of this god awful fic!

"You must be the dancer"… Sephiroth turned around to face her small body. He was smirking at her! "Well dance, he grinned at her, show me that delicious body of yours."

Sephiroth: I hear it’s better than the best ice cream you’ve ever tasted.

Dance? Show my body to him?… gods no! This can't be happening, if he fines out I'm done for! Aerith started looking around for the Masamune, it was no where in sight. That’s a good sign… she told herself… but this man can kill me with his bear hands!

Yuffie: Who needs the Masamune when you’ve got bear hands?

Sephiroth stared at her courageously… this dancer was breath taking.

Cid: He started to turn blue from oxygen deprivation.

He was beginning to get aroused, captivated by her sheer beauty. His pants where starting to get skintight, his manhood needing to be withdraw.

Sephiroth: What am I, a fucking bank account?

Aerith: That’s okay, apparently I’m a meter maid, trying to fine people all the time.

He needed to see her naked form. "Show me now! I don't like to be kept waiting!" Sephiroth growled in frustration… his dick was hard and he needed to use it.

Tifa: It’s good for a limited time only.

However Aerith did not make a move, if her veil fell off he would know who she was. Instead she try to open the door to escape from this fallen angel. She reach for the doorknob but she couldn't open the door.

Aerith: Every time I put my faith in a doorknob it betrays me!

Vincent: Oh, you heartless hardware!

She looked up to see that his hands where on the door making it so that she could not run from this monster. He moved so fast that it wasn't even funny.

Cloud: Hahahahaha…nope, you’re right, it’s not funny.

Sephiroth press his body to her… and placed his hands on each side of her head. Then she started panicking… his erection was stiff.

Aerith: But I’m perfectly fine with soft erections.

He was long, hard, and ready for her as his breath started slowing down.

"I don't like to be kept waiting and I don't like to repeat myself!" Sephiroth roar in her ear making her flick.

Aerith: Um, what?

He grabbed her veil making her struggle against his touch. "What are you trying to hide," He grind his teeth. Sephiroth again grabbed her veil this time, making it rip to revile her angelic face.

Aerith fell to the floor from his strength…

Cid: Wait, did Sephiroth actually use his strength to throw her to the floor, or did she faint at the sight of his massive biceps.

Sephiroth: (smirks) Makes them swoon every time!

I fail you my friends…

Aerith: No gold stars on my nipples today…

was the only thing racing in her mind. Tears started falling from her beautiful face making it flush, her big lips rosy colored started to shake. "You…" was the only thing Sephiroth said… It's over now, but I won't go down without a fight. "Yes it's me! The woman you made people hunt down… the woman that you made her life a living hell!" Sephiroth stood there shocked be on believe.

Red XIII: This grammar is be on my ability to understand.

"I will kill you Cetra…" He said sneering… however, before he can make a move Aerith took a stick like object that was near her to be used as a staff.

Barret: …Sephiroth’s dick?

"Are you planning to fight me?" He said laughing like it was the most funniest joke ever told. He just stare at her like he knew that she has no chance in hell.

"I might as well… I won't give up without a fight!" Aerith stood strong not backing down from the man in front of her. With speed that you only see light travel in, he was in front of her taking the wooden object from her hand and slamming her back down to the floor.

Sephiroth: That’s MY dick, damnit!

"Your powerless to stop me Ancient, just stay on the floor like the bitch you are." Sephiroth was rock hard now… how dare she make me wait, I need her body. He came crushing down on Aerith's smaller body pinning her down with his much larger weight. "Beg…" he whisper in her ear. "Beg me to take you… to fuck you with my hard steel cock."

Cloud: ….wow.

Tifa: Yeah, that sounded kinda hot until the “hard steel cock” remark. Some people just shouldn’t talk during sex.

Cid: And that’s why ball gags were invented.

He was right, Aerith panic… she can feel his manhood… it's width around 4 inches.

All: (gaping) Four inches wide?!

Sephiroth: Double the radius and multiply by pi…by the head of Jenova, it’s over a foot around! Aerith, I’m terribly sorry for what’s about to happen to you.

Tifa: Had the author of this story ever actually seen a penis?

She didn’t even have to see it to know that it was colossal. "Beg me to fuck your innocuous away," He grind into her making her moan.

Vincent: (paging through the Oxford English Dictionary) Innocuous: not hurtful or injurious; harmless. In Zoology, applies specifically to non-venomous snakes.

"Gods… I rather die then you to take me,"

Aerith: But you’re welcome to take those non-venomous snakes.

She started began to cry out for someone to help her. Sephiroth coved his hands over her mouth…

Yuffie: …Like a pirate?

Vincent: I thought it was smugglers who had coves.

"Listen Cetra… if you want your friends to live… he gave her his famous mad man gaze…

Sephiroth: Patent pending…

…then you will permit me to do this." The Great General smirked at her when she fell into submission. He began undressing her slow as if to savor his time with her.

"Please… let my friends go… please…" Aerith still can't believe this is happening. She had to sleep with the man that killed her beloved Cloud and her dearest friends.

Sephiroth whisper into Aerith ear making her shake…"I'll let them go if you promise to please me greatly, that means doing everything I tell you to do. Is that clear my little slave." Aerith could only nod, her friends mean the world to her. If he killed one more she surely go mad.

Sephiroth started taking off his armor clothing while still pinning Aerith under him. She stare at him when he got to the belt… the only thing she could do was whimper. "I would surely enjoy this Cetra…

Cloud: (as Sephiroth) I would surely enjoy this Cetra… if only I weren’t gay.

Sepiroth: Heh… you wish!

…you should too… it would only hurt for a second." Sephiroth was completely on top of things…

Cid: Including Aerith.

Aerith never been this close to a real man before.

Sephiroth: Just Cloud.

The Great General Sephiroth was on top of her, about to rape her. However, all she could think about was if they met a long time ago… could they have fallen in love?

Tifa: THAT’S what she’s thinking about? Not running away, not screaming, not crushing his balls?

Such ideas was not helping… surely someone one would come to her aid.

Aerith was starting to become hysterical when she felt the tip of Sephiroth's manhood looking to bury itself inside of her. "Please I'm still a virgin… don't you want a person with… well… better experience?"

Cloud: (as Sephiroth) You’re right! I’ll go get Tifa…

Tifa: (Hits her limit break and uses Beat Rush on Cloud)

She try to hide her blush however her face turned a deep red. Sephiroth did not stop is actions but he did look deep into her eyes.

"I hate you…" he said keeping his voice cold and emotionless. "Ever since I met you I wanted to take that purity that you hold so precious away from you. I want to taint it… so your soul could become like mine. Now… you will do as I say or your friends will die." Sephiroth knew he was lying when he said those words…

Sephiroth: I was going to kill them anyway.

…even since he saw Aerith… he wanted to be with her. Hold her… and feel her silk like body under him. How can a demon like him fall in love with an angel like her… he did not know. Aerith saw the look in his face, she knew he was lying also.

Cid: He actually wanted to take Cloud’s innocence, but then the whiny little bastard got so annoying, he had to hack him to bits instead.

Cloud: (flailing like a two year old) IIII’m noooot whiiiiiny! (sulks)

Sephiroth: (raising his Masamune) Watch it, brat!

He looked at her with lust… but not hate as he claims. Nevertheless, She knew that he wasn't lying about him killing off her last surviving friends. Aerith had no choice, either let Sephiroth take her or lose her dearest friends forever.

She didn't even struggle when he pushes his manhood deep inside of her it felt so good and overwhelming. Aerith moan at the thought of being spread out this far… Sephiroth was big indeed and she knew she was going to need time to recover from this.

Vincent: Possibly some physical therapy and a blood transfusion.

Look at myself, she said mentally, acting like a total slut. She didn't care right now… by the Gods did this feel so right. All the thoughts of Cloud and saving her friends wasn't important this moment. Until his large erection hit her maidenhead… Sephiroth ran his long fingers in her beautiful hair. She only thought of his touch… until she felt the head pounding pain. With one thrush

Tifa: Ewww! Groooss! There was felching involved in this?!

RedXIII: I truly hope they sanitized that poor bird first.

Yuffie: (as thrush) tweeeeet! *squish *

he bury his manhood and broke through Aerith's maidenhead. "Gods" was the only thing she could chock out. Tears of agony ran down her charming face. Aerith panted on Sephiroth's shoulder and to her amazement he wanted until she got used to his size.

Sephiroth: I didn’t know you could do that just by “wanting”.

Cloud: (singing) When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are… unless you’re Hitler.

Vincent: Or Hojo.

She ran her tiny hands on his back and shoulders… loving and in awe at his bulky muscles. Her hands finally got to it's location… his firm ass. The discomfort of having him inside of her long gone…

Cid: Yeah, only 'cause Cockzilla probably broke her spine and left her numb from the waist down.

Aerith try to push him deeper. She loves how his manhood can stretch her to the fullest.

Sephiroth on the other hand was in bliss… never in his life had a women been so tight. His massive manhood need more room! He… the Great General Sephiroth, had to take a breather to keep from slamming into Aerith's close-fitting passage… and from spilling his seeds. He pinned her hands, with one of his arms, over her head trying to gain control back. His lose hair spreading over him like a curtain…

Red XIII: His lose hair? Is he shedding?

Barret: Goin’ bald, bro.

Random Fangirl: NOOO! Beautiful Sephiroth!!!

Vincent: (Whips out Cerberus and shoots fangirl)

Sephiroth: Thanks, man.

…feeling Aerith's silk like skin with his free hand until his reached her breast. He sucked greedy on her smooth breast… flicking his tongue on her harden nipple. To Sephiroth's pleasure she moaned when his rough hands, that were toughen by years of being a swordsman, pleased her greatly. Sephiroth grab Aerith by the hip with both of his hands. He no longer needing to pin her down… she wanted this more then him… he started thrusting inside of her like she was nothing more than a rag doll. He still kept Aerith's nipple in his hungry mouth… unwilling to let it go. His nails sinking into the flesh that was on her hip… making it bleed slightly.

Sephiroth: (crosses his legs awkwardly)

Cloud: Um…I’m gonna go…get some popcorn. Yeah…popcorn.*

"Oh my God!!!… It's to much! Your going to break me!" Aerith face was flush… the breast that was not in Sephiroth's mouth began slapping lightly on his cheek. Aerith arch her back into his crashing manhood. "Beg you little whore!" he speeded up his pounding ten fold… Sephiroth bit down on Aerith's nipple rewarding him with a gasp of surprise. "BEG ME NOW!!!" He yelled and was starting to pant like a wild animal in heat.

Sweat started to form on his back and forehead. Aerith dug her nails into his back trying to hold on for dear life. The General's trusting became so powerful that the king size bed itself started to shake.

Sephiroth: Behold the power of my mighty trust!

Aerith: When did we move onto the bed?

Near by picture that were on the wall started crashing down to the floor. Yet again Sephiroth bit down on the nipple in his mouth, even harder then before "BEG!"

Cid: At this line, fangirls everywhere simultaneously creamed their jeans and obeyed his command. Wish I had that kind of authority (sighs).

Aerith knew what he wanted to hear… by the heavens she didn't want to yell it. However, her climax was near, she'll do anything to get to that point of total bliss. "P-please… General Sephiroth… p-please take me!"

Aerith: Why do I sound like Piglet? P-p-p-please, p-p-please explain this.

Her lips shaking from the pleasure he was causing… making her moan.

How dare she?! Was this a joke?!

Sephiroth: Could I be any more indignant?!

Sephiroth flipped Aerith over to her stomach with one fast movement.

Aerith: Whaaaagh!

He hated to let go of his precious nipple that he was sucking on.

Barret: So he was suckin’ his own nipple this whole time?

Vincent: That’s either a very flexible man, or a very long nipple.

Yuffie: Ew.

However, he needed to teach the girl a lesson that she'll never forget. "You fucking call that begging…" He said slapping Aerith's ass hard leaving a red mark on it. Sephiroth was fucking her from behind… pulling her lovely reddish brown hair. Slamming her face first into the sheets for the king size bed.

Sephiroth: Yes, we’ve established that it is a king size bed.

She groan into the bed… she was in a position that made her feel like a bitch in heat.

Red XIII: I am beginning to feel very uncomfortable with the bestial references in this story.

Sephiroth body was towering Aerith's smaller one "Beg like the whore you are Cetra!" He howl like a demon in ecstasy…

Cid: A demon in ecstasy, or a demon on ecstasy?

…sounding like two voice of a different tone yelling at the same time.

Vincent: On ecstasy. Definitely. I should know.

Cloud: Giving you ecstasy was a terrible idea…I never want to meet a giddy, cuddly Chaos again. Apparently he has a thing for blondes.

Sephiroth kept slamming his large cock inside of her womb, each moaning loudly.

Yuffie: Each womb? Each cock? One of each?

With one hand Sephiroth slapped Aerith's ass again…"Call me master… said it!"

Aerith: Wait…apparently I already “said it”! Why do I have to say it again?

Her body started quivering at his physical assault, she bit her lips unwilling to beg… but she need to… she needed her climax!
"Sephiroth!… fuck me please… fuck me like the whore I am! Master I beg you to fuck me faster ! Aggggghhhh! Aerith flung her head back as a wave crashing climax ripped though her small body. "I'm coming! I'm coming for your Sephiroth!!!

Tifa: NO, I’m coming for YOUR Sephiroth!

Her climax was so strong and so powerful that her vision went black, the sweat on her body rolling down her silk like back. Her whole body was sensitive…

He didn't stop… Sephiroth lift her left leg up… now that her walls were squeezing his manhood, it's the right time to strike. He hammer away like a insane lustful animal, taking all that he wanted from her body. His right hand grab her hair and held it down where it should be, to the bed sheets.

Yuffie: Okay, I’ve got this Medusa image now, of her hair standing up and moving around…

Vincent: Her hair had had enough sex for now, and decided to leave.



He cried out almost choking.

Yuffie: Her hair was trying to strangle him.

Sephiroth's orgasm what stronger then Aerith. He slammed his manhood as deep as it can go… biting down on her neck. Spilling him seeds in her womb, still yelling in the top of his lunges.

Red XIII: That sentence just made my brain melt.

The large mansion vibrating from his screams or pure ecstasy.

Cid: The mansion is on ecstasy too?

Vincent: Yeah….It was a trippy place to sleep for thirty years.

Both lovers collapse to the bed, exhausted from their activities.
Yes Aerith, Sephiroth thought, you will never leave my side…

Aerith: But I really have to pee…

Birds singing and the air was fresh with the smell of spring time. The breeze woke Aerith up to look around.

Cid: First thing she noticed was that she had wandered into a fabric softener commercial.

First thing she notice was that the balcony door was open and the second that she was alone… where is Sephiroth? Standing up she made her way to her discarded clothes.

Must I wear this again, she thought… not liking the fact that the only thing to wear was the damn genie suit. She kicked herself for not taking her clothes along. "I need to fine my friends!"

Aerith: They’re still double-parked!!

She stopped and thought about something… what if Sephiroth went to kill her love ones… what if he was going to kill her…

"Up I see… It was him the Great General Sephiroth, I let your friends go my dear."

Red XIII: Does Miss Manners offer any advice on announcing yourself in the third person?

Tifa: I don’t think she usually deals with people who are insane enough to have this problem.

She looked at him… tears in her gorgeous green eyes. "Thank you…"she was able to say that… what could she say to the man that killed her Cloud. "I'll be leaving General… with that Aerith try to walk pass Sephiroth thinking it was time to head out. However, he had something else in mind. He grabbed her wrist and said, "Your not going anywhere girl… I plan to keep you… after all, you do have my child…"


Your what? … “What did you say?” Aerith appear out of breath as if someone just punched her stomach. She was trying her best to tug her wrist out of the General’s hand. “Sephiroth, lying doesn’t become you! I’m taking my leave now, so move aside!” She said boldly holding her head up high. She was no ones whore…

Furious, Sephiroth made Aerith collapse to the floor.

Cid: Again, how the hell is he doing that?

“Your mine Cetra, and your not going anywhere! Listen and listen good… I, Sephiroth do not lie. Your having my child, as me speak it’s growing inside of you.”

Yuffie: He IS a pirate!

Sephiroth: Yarrr.

How dare she think that I’m lying. Sephiroth’s eyes were burning a hole through Aerith. Still on the floor, she turn her head not wanting to look at him. Not wanting to see the truth to his words. Slowly she came to her feet, her grace would of made a queen proud.

Tifa: What would Queen Elizabeth do?

“What happens now…” Aerith whisper almost to herself as she stared at the floor, as if it‘s going to give her an answer.

Vincent: (as floor) Pssst! You’re going to have sex again. Just spread your legs and think of England.

She knew Sephiroth heard her say those words. what happens now…Will she become Sephiroth’s prisoner, or could she escape this monster.

Yuffie: Tune in next week – same Seph time, same Seph channel!

This hellish beast that killed her beloved Cloud. It was like a nightmare still playing in her head.

“I don’t know, but I have no use of you” Sephiroth said, scanning to see if he hurt her emotionally. “As soon as you give birth to my child I’ll have you exterminate…

Vincent: …all the damn roaches in this mansion. Man, when I was in that coffin they kept trying to eat me, I can still see their beady eyes, glowing in the darkness…! (curls up in a ball and starts crying)

Cid: (pats Vincent soothingly)

Barret: Break it up guys, this ain’t a Valenwind.

Sephiroth gave her a chuckle…

Sephiroth: I bought this chuckle for you, I hope you like it.

“You see, I used you… just like I did Cloud…

Cid: So you DID take his innocence!

Sephiroth: Oh no, that was long gone by the time I got to him.

…your just like him, your nothing to me.”

Aerith body shook with range.

Cid: (sings) Where the deer and the antelope play…

Barret: (throws a shoe at Cid) You sing like a fuckin’ chocobo. Now give me back my fuckin’ shoe!

“How dare you, I won’t sit here and be insulted by someone like you Sephiroth! Anyway, you have no evidence that I’m having your baby!”

Sephiroth: Ah Ha! Not true! I have here these yellow gender-neutral booties you’ve been knitting!

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHORE!” His tone made Aerith shake… “I know everything, did you forget that I’m all mighty and your just like all of those pathetic humans they all make me sick.” Angrily, Sephiroth grab a hold of Aerith’s arm. “And you my dear, don’t have to worry about your friends nor leaving any time soon. You see, your here to please me!” With that Sephiroth slammed Aerith to a near by desk. She crash to the desk sending everything on it to the floor.

Vincent: (as floor) …Ow (brood).

Heart pounding, trying to give her oxygen…

RedXIII: Forgetting that her lungs were supposed to do that…

Aerith looked at him like he was mad. “What are you doing?!” The look in his eyes was like a predator hurting his prey. The first time she saw this look was last night as he took her with all of his strength. Her body is still sore and not really to have him inside of it. She had to get away… “Please Sephiroth, I beg you not to.” Knowing that he would not listen to her, Aerith madly try to dash out the door. However, when she felt a strong grip around her arm, her heart halted and she stopped moving.

Cid: And breathing. And living.

Vincent: It seems Sephiroth had caused massive organ failure with his Vulcan Death Grip.

Aerith: Damn it, not again. Sephy, can’t you keep from killing me for one story?

Sephiroth: (stares at the floor, chagrined)…No. I have a problem.

With his other hand still free, Sephiroth quickly grab her other arm and place her to the desk. “You are mine! How many times do I have to repeat myself!” He place both of Aerith’s hands to the desk while propping her ass to his already harden cock.

Struggling as if she was mad, Aerith try to get away from him by elbowing his side, but this just earn her a chuckle from her predator.

Sephiroth: Good girl, you get another chuckle!

“When will you ever learn!” Sephiroth slam her forcefully to the desk, making her breasts mash on the surface of the wooden object.

Aerith, Tifa and Yuffie: (wince)

“Please Sephiroth! Haven’t you done enough, you took my virginity and now you want to keep me as a slave?!” Aerith voice was that of pure horror. “I kept my promise to you, now keep yours!”

“You fool!” Sephiroth, with the power of a demon bit into Aerith neck. As soon as she felt his teeth, she let out a scream that could wake the dead.

Yuffie: Hooray, Cloud’s back!

Cloud: But still in pieces…

“Promises don’t mean nothing to me any more, girl! You have my child, I will never let you go, NEVER.”

Sephiroth: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hahahahaa! …Heheh.

Vincent: Finished?

Sephiroth: …Yes.

With that Sephiroth ripped off what was left of the genie suit; only bits and pieces were left of it from last night. “Look at you, a total whore.”

Aerith: Then pay up, you cheapskate.

He was licking his lips at her nude body.

Sephiroth: Mmmmm…whooooore.

Aerith knew words were useless now, but staying here forever with Sephiroth? Her eyes started to water. Was this really the price I had to paid to save her friends? Dear gods I do not want this fate you gave me!!!

Sephiroth started to unzip his pants, he was in no mood to get naked.

Tifa: It was broad daylight, she’d be able to see his stretch-marks.

Sephiroth: (grumbles) Stupid fangirls…I don’t know why Mpreg is so damn popular.

Positioning his large erection into her womanhood, he slowly worked his way inside of her wet heat. Yes, wet… and tight, it was as if her pussy was only meant to be taken by his cock. No matter how much Aerith say she hates it, Her body will always tell me the truth…

“Sephiroth… p-please.” Aerith was holding onto the edge of the desk, knowing that any time now he was going to slam into her body. She loves feeling this way… feeling his large erection deep inside of her wet core. I will never tell him that…

Grabbing her hips like a bear’s grip…

Yuffie: Between the bears and the thrushes, I think Sephiroth’s setting up a zoo in there.

Sephiroth smash his dick as far as it can go…

Sephiroth, Cid, Cloud, Vincent, and Barrett: (wince)

Earning him a overwhelming gasp from Aerith. He loves to hear her moan… for her to say his name over and over. He continue to give Aerith, his lover, more pleasure by pounding inside of her. Aerith arc her back and spread her legs, so that he can have more room to move inside of her.

Tifa: Yes! We have established that he is inside of her. Can we move on please?

“Do you like my cock inside of you? It seems to me that you do.” Sephiroth said, now fucking her like he was a dog in heat. The desk was moving forwards with each thrust.

Aerith: Actually I preferred the thrush, to be honest.

Sephiroth: Just wait ‘til I get the chocobo…

Yuffie: WARK! WARK!

“No..oo..o… I don’t want your filthy cock inside of me, take it out.” What a lie, she thought to herself. She loves every inch of his cock; the beloved redness of his dick in need of her. She worships the way veins pop out of his manhood, while in full erection. The way that it throbs when he is excited…

Sephiroth: I don’t even know my own penis in this much detail.

Aerith: Yeah, apparently I can pick it out of a line-up.

Aerith started fucking Sephiroth back, trying to be as hard and rough as he was. “Is that what you want!” She pushes back on his cock meeting his thrust each time. “Then have it! Have it all you monster!”

Cloud: Hey Aerith. If I act like a monster, can I have it all too?

Aerith: You can have this… (she casts frog song, turning him into a sleepy frog)

Sephiroth was overwhelm by the pleasure Aerith was giving him. He wasn’t going to come before her… he never will. However, it was all to much… he was going to come faster then he ever did in his life. He was so pissed off… all his strength couldn’t help him. The heat that he was feeling inside of his cock was building up.

Yuffie: The heat built up created a nuclear explosion and everyone died the end GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

He knew that the fire was going to burn but in the most enjoyable way imaginable. In the last minute the Great General Sephiroth gave it his all… pounding with unbelievable force inside of the wet heat he loves. “Cum with me Aerith!” he bit her neck to show her who was in control. “Cum with me, god… cum with me!”

“I won’t… I… I’m coming!” Aerith threw her head back as a powerful orgasm hit her body making her tremble. She felt Sephiroth come deep inside of her womb, the fire like seeds filling her.

Aerith: OW! Jeez, you really ought to get tested…are you sure you didn’t get anything from Cloud?

She grabbed his firm ass and pushed his dick far inside of her…

Sephiroth was panting on top of her soft body. It always feels good with her.

Sephiroth: And by always I mean twice.

After a minute or so trying to calm himself down, Sephiroth zipped up his pants. “I knew you where a whore the minute I saw you. That makes it easy for me to kill you Aerith, your nothing but a dirty bitch. A toy that I will use until I get tired of it.” He walk out of the room without another word…

Tears rolled down from Aerith’s eye. The once grass green eyes, were now blood red.

Barrett: Gettin’ a contact high from that weed he smoked earlier.

Those word hurt more then any knife that could of cut her. She hung her head in shame, how could she ever think that a monster like him could change.
I hate you Sephiroth… I hate you with a passion.

Cid: Said the Narrator, apparently.

From now on I will never shed a tear for you, my eyes are dry. My baby… Aerith swallowed hard,

Yuffie: She swallowed her baby??

Vincent: Why not? They are tasty little buggers.

You’ll never will touch it! It will never know who was the father and I’ll escape from you…

Barrett: You don’t think the white hair and green cat eyes will be just a little giveaway?

Tifa: I wonder if it will manifest black leather onesies.

Aerith: Just as long as it doesn’t manifest the Masamune.

Cid: Aw come on, that’d be so wicked! First baby ever to perform its own C-section!

THE END. Fade to black.

Tifa: (hits the sleepy-frog Cloud to wake him up) IT’S OVER!

Cait Sith: Hey, how come I didn’t get any lines?

Tiny Frog Cloud: (ribbits) Shut up Cait Sith, no one likes you.

*Since the inception of the popcorn joke over two years ago, the authors have been unable to say the word “popcorn” with a straight face. Ever. Though the euphemism is quite useful when you need to discuss masturbation in polite company.

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