Junkie-love

BY : Yorda
Category: Final Fantasy VIII > General
Dragon prints: 513
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Title: Junkie-love

Author: Yorda

Rating: R

Diclaimer: Sadly none of the characters of FF8 are mine, but belong to Squaresoft

Couples: Seifer/Squall

Warnings: angst, lemon, language, mild violence, drug use, OOC

Summary: Seifer's on drugs and Squall's the only one willing to help

Chapter 8:

Squall kept hugging his knees to his chest, his grey eyes staring blankly at the opposite wall. He had been doing that for some time now. The groan Squall heard from Seifer's direction finally caused him to blink his eyes and look to his right.

"H-he's gonna die! I have to get help!" Finally Squall bounced up from the bathroom floor and dashed out into the main room. He left the room in a hurry, not even stopping to get fully dressed. With shaky legs, he ran down the stairs into the hotel lobby, receiving a disapproving look from the receptionist.

"Help..." Squall managed to whisper as he leaned against the counter, trying to catch his breath.

"What's the matter young man?" the woman behind the counter asked, eyeing Squall's half-naked body.

"Call an ambulance!" Squall ordered with a hoarse voice. He straightened himself and pointed at the telephone behind the receptionist. Slowly the old woman turned around to see what Squall was pointing at.

"What? I didn't hear you dear, I-"

"Call. An ambulance. *Now!*" Squall yelled, slamming his fist against the counter. "Send them into room 204 and *hurry!*" the brunette added as he was already making his way to the staircase. Squall ran upstairs as fast as his legs would allow him to. Soon he was with Seifer again, kneeling beside him. Squall made sure the blonde still had a pulse.

"Stupid ass! Seifer you *stupid ass!*" the brunette hissed while he kept stroking Seifer's cold forehead. "Why?" Squall tried to shake and slap Seifer awake, knowing it was all in vain. Even if Seifer's eyes were half open, Squall knew the older boy was somewhere far away from him. After countless moments, the help finally arrived.

"Move aside son." A man's voice called from behind Squall's back. He felt a hand grab him by his bare shoulder and pull him out of the bathroom. Squall sat down on the bed and watched, bewildered, as more men dressed in white made their way into the bathroom. It all looked like a slow-motion film to him.

"Ok, what do we have hereone one of them spoke.

"An overdose...check this syringe." Another person answered, kneeling down to feel Seifer's pulse. "The kid's alive...barely. But he still has a chance. Get the barrow and we'll lift him up, quickly! We have to get him to the hospital ...Make sure his mouth is empty before you lie him on his back. We don't want him to choke."

Squall blinked his eyes when the men came out from the bathroom, carrying the unconscious Seifer with them.

"The ambulance is waiting for us outside the hotel. We're taking him to Balamb hospital. You want to come and join your friend? There's room in the car." one of the medical officers asked Squall. The brunette looked up and met the man's eyes, his brows knitting together in confusion. When Squall just kept staring, the man repeated his question, sounding a bit annoyed.

"No." Was all Squall said as he shook his head, lowering his face, fixing his eyes on the carpet.

"Fine, have it your way then. Now, let's move on, hurry!" the man turned away from Squall, the other two men following him out of the room with Seifer on the barrow. After a short moment, Squall could hear the sirens of the ambulance, the sound soon growing distant.

For a long time the brunette just sat there, his eyes blankly staring at the spot where Seifer had lied. Squall felt numb inside.

'...He just slipped? ....After all he went through!' Squall felt his face grow hot as anger began to rise inside him. A frown made his brows knit together as he realized that Seifer probably got the drugs while he had supposedly been parking the car the other night. He clenched his hands into fists and bounced up from the bed.

"Seifer you fucking stupid, pitiful junkie!!" Squall yelled, letting the anger flow freely, his whole body trembling. He began to pace around the room, cursing Seifer with all the possible swears he could think of. When the brunette finally calmed down, he held his forehead. All the raging had given him a headache.

'Oh hell...' Squall let his eyes travel around the room 'til he found the rest of his clothes, still scattered on the floor. He picked them up and quickly got dressed. Squall watched the unmade bed, remembering last night with Seifer. He felt his eyes sting, but wouldn't allow himself to cry.

'Pull yourself together Leonhart. I don't cry. Ever.' Squall ordered himself and kept biting his lower lip so hard, he could soon taste blood. 'Helpless little children cry. I'm not a child anymore.'

The brunette left the room, not bothering to close the door after him. Squall kept swallowing, trying to make the lump in his throat disappear. When he reached the hotel lobby, he was greeted by the hysterical receptionist. The woman hurried from behind the counter to grab Squall's arm.

"Oh dear, oh dear! Young man, what happened?! Is your friend going to be ok?" the lady babbled, pulling at Squall's arm. The brunette remained silent and kept walking towards the hotel entrance, not even turning to look at the receptionist, hanging on his sleeve. When Squall reached the doors, the woman released her grip, blinking in confusion.

"D-don't worry about the bill.." she called after Squall.

It was still an early morning, so there weren't many people on the streets. Squall kept walking to the direction of the only hospital in the small harbour town. Even if the sun was shining and the morning was perfect, darkness was clouding Squall's heart.

'He's gonna die...he is, I know it. ...All my help was in vain...I should have reported him to the headmaster when he first came back to Garden.'

When Squall finally reached the courtyard of Balamb hospital he stopped and stood still. Slowly the brunette raised his face and kept staring at the entrance. For a long time he just stood there, trying to force himself to step forward.

'I won't go...I know he's not gonna make it. All the ones I care about are always taken away from me...so I won't go.' Squall told himself and turned around, leaving the hospital courtyard without even once looking back.

:::::::::::::::::: Three months later:::::::::::::::::::

Squall was wriggling on his bed, pulling at the sweat-soaked sheets, having one of his nightmares again. The dream was the same every night: Images of Seifer, lying unconscious or dead filled Squall's mind and caused him to cry aloud. Even if he had, with great effort, been able to block the whole event with Seifer from his mind and ice his heart, this being his way to deal with things, the memory still haunted him in his dreams.

"Don't die... Seifer...!" Squall bounced up on the bed, blinking his eyes. He brought his right hand up to his heaving chest, forcing himself to calm down. "Just a dream..." the brunette sighed and glanced to righright. The alarm clock on the nightstand told him it was still small hours. Squall rubbed his face and used his other hand to turn on the table lamp. He narrowed his sleepy eyes when the room was filled with dim light. Squall kicked the damp bed sheets aside and stood up from the bed. He made his way to the bathroom and got undressed, then stepped into the shower.

'These nightmares are killing me...' the brunette sighed and pulled the shower curtain aside, eyeing himself from the mirror, placed on the opposite wall. Squall frowned at his reflection. His eyes were surrounded by dark rings, caused from the lack of sleep. The brunette had been suffering from the same nightmare for almost three months now. The memories of the unconscious Seifer, lying on the bathroom floor kept tormenting him. Squall hadn't gone to the hospital the day Seifer had overdosed, or even after that, feeling deceived and hurt. It was like Seifer had broken some unmade promise.

During the past three months Squall had forced himself to forget about Seifer and move on with his life, knowing he'd probably never again see the older boy. Even if Seifer didn't die that day, he hadn't returned to Garden. No one knew where he was. The headmaster had been called from the hospital and informed that Seifer had survived, but that was all Squall knew.

'...He's probably back on the streets again, hooked like he was before...otherwise he'd be back here with me, wouldn't he?' Squall reasoned as he let the warm water flow on his skin.

"Fuck you Seifer Almasy!" he suddenly hissed, the thought of Seifer bringing his anger to the surface. He brought his hands up to grip his long strands, pulling at his hair so hard it hurt. 'You pitiful junkie...' Squall was breathing hard, gritting his teeth in anger.

'If you really had cared about me,...you would have at least tried to stay clean...After the hell you went through, how could you slip so easily Seifer?' Squall opened his eyes when the water was starting to turn cold. He turned the shower off and stepped out. For some time the brunette just stood there, dripping water and shivering from the cold.

"...Seifer... I hope you'll take care of yourself, where ever you are." Squall whispered, a feeling of compassion and worry overcoming the anger.

Squall grabbed a clean towel and twined it around his shivering body. He didn't bother combing his hair, and just made his way into the main room. Squall walked to his wardrobe, glancing at the alarm clock, noting it was already 5.00 am.

'Thank god tomorrow is Saturday...' Squall threw the towel on the floor and pulled out white pyjama pants and got dressed. He turned the table lamp off and slumped down to his bed, feeling more tired than ever, letting sleep take over.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Squall moaned in his sleep when he felt something touch his cheek. He shifted a bit and rubbed his face with one hand. Moments later something touched his cheeks again. The brunette's brows knitted together just slightly and he slowly forced one of his eyes open. Squall managed to see there was someone sitting on his bed. He studied the person through narrowed eyes, the bright daylight hurting his eyes.

"Zell!? W-what are you doing in my room?" Squall muttered, sounding annoyed. He turned around so that he was facing the wall. The brunette frowned when he suddenly felt the hand stroke his neck.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Zell!" Squall growled, pulling the sheets over his head, forcing the hand to disappear.

"Hey, come on! I'm much better looking than the Chicken!"

Squall immediately recognised the voice. His eyes shot open and he was suddenly wide awake. He threw the blankets aside and sat up.

Squall's grey-blue eyes met with Seifer's green ones.

"This *is* still my room too, is it not Squall?" the blonde asked, the trademark smirk on his face. All Squall could do was stare.

'Is this a dream?' he asked himself, slowly bringing his right hand up, guiding it towards the blonde's face. Squall watched, bewildered, as the smirk on Seifer's lips turned into a gentle smile. The brunette saw the lips part and move, and knew Seifer was speaking to him, but all he heard was the blood rushing through his veins.

'This is *not* a dream...' Squall let his hand brush against Seifer's cheek and met the blonde's eyes again.

"Squall? Did you hear what I just said to you?" Seifer asked Squall, looking slightly confused. "Are you ok Squ-" The blonde was cut off in the middle of his sentence. The hand on his cheek suddenly twined around his neck into a painful death-grip. Seifer met Squall's eyes, surprised, when he saw the anger in them. The brunette brought his other hand up as well, to join with the other. Squall forced Seifer down on the floor and straddled him, tightening the hold around the blonde's throat.

"How could you Seifer!?...After I helped you get clean!...I fucking stayed by your bedside for days and took care of you! How could you!" Squall raged, tightening the hold around Seifer's neck. The older boy was watching Squall, his emerald green eyes wide open, surprised by the brunette's violent reaction. When the hold around his throat tightened even more, Seifer brought his own hands up, forcing Squall to let go. It wasn't hard, for the blonde was much stronger than the younger brunette.

"Arrrgh! I hate you Seifer! Do you have any idea how much I missed you...and feared you were dead! Lying in some dump pit, half dead, in a drug-stupor!" Squall growled when he was pushed aside by Seifer, finally admitting to himself that he had missed the older boy.

Seifer brought his right hand up to his neck, trying to catch his breath. Squall turned around, refusing to let Seifer see he was having troubles preventing himself from crying, all his suppressed emotions suddenly rushio tho the surface. The room was silent for a long time before Squall spoke again, the anger slowly fading away.

"Do you know how awful it was to find you in that hotel bathroom, covered in your own vomit? ...I've been having nightmares of that sight..." Squall whispered.

The brunette let out a surprised gasp, when he suddenly felt Seifer's arms twine around his waist and pull him into the blonde's arms. Squall tried to rid himself of Seifer's hold, but the older boy refused to let go.

"Seifer let go!" the brunette hissed, leaning away as Seifer pulled Squall tightly against his chest. The brunette tried to get up and used his short fingernails to scratch the blonde's arms.

"Squall...Don't struggle." Seifer whispered, waiting for Squall to calm down before continuing. When the brunette realised Seifer wasn't going to let go of him, he sighed and let the blonde pull Squall's smaller frame into his lap. Seifer inhaled deeply before he started.

"Squall...All n san say's that I'm sorry. I *never* meant it to happen...But I-I just couldn't stop myself. You don't know what it's like; the craving for drugs. It's like you're not even in control of your own body. I didn't *want* to do it, but still, I couldn't stop myself, even when I knew what it would do to our relationship." With this said, Seifer could feel Squall flinch in his arms.

"What *relationship*?...We had time to spent one night together and then you ruined everything!" Squall hissed, sounding accusing.

The blonde let out a sigh and closed his eyes before continuing. "I know...but what more can I do but to apologise?...Squall, I'm clean and clear now. This time for good, I promise." The blonde spoke, feeling Squall relax slightly.

"During the past three months I was in a rehab center...that's why I didn't come back...." Seifer explained. "I know I should have told you where I was, but...I wasn't so sure if I would be strong enough to recover..."

As Seifer's hold around him was loose enough, Squall quickly got up to his feet and turned to look at the older boy, his gaze cold as ice.

"Whatever Seifer..." he spoke, his voice empty of emotion, making it loud and clear that he hadn't forgiven the blonde and most likely wasn't going to either.

:::::::::::::::::To be continued::::::::::::::::

-Yorda


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