The Truth In His Eyes

BY : baythyme
Category: Final Fantasy VIII > General
Dragon prints: 483
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

The Truth in His Eyes-Chapter 4:Emotions Running High:

By: Neophyte (novice_artst)

Pairings: Z+S, Z/S, S/Z, R+Squall (now not happening ^^;;), Irvine+Selphie (Oo;; I'm not so sure that that's happening still...)

Author's Notes: Sorry about taking soooo long to update... I just couldn't get it to work... -_-;; The scene was soo difficult. I still don't like it but...it'll have to do. *sigh* -_-;;;

~* *~ [G.F. speaking.]

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!!!! I greatly appreciate them! ^O^ Oh, if there's anything you would like to be in the story just email me at: novice_artist@hotmail.com and I'll be sure to try and see if I can work it in! ^.^ Thanks again for reading! WAI!! I got more reviews

I'm glad that there are people enjoying this story! I might actually finish it because people are interested! ^O^ Wouldn't that be lovely! Anyway....on with the warnings...

Warnings: (I think I for got that last time.... oO;) Yaoi/shounen-ai, lemons, a plot (gasp), language, maybe some OOC? I'm not quite sure. I haven't been able to truly catch the essence of the characters. Still need to get into Squall's head.. That's SOOOOO hard! And Seifer's being just a difficult -_-;;

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Seifer walked toward the small blonde, his head down with his left hand buried in his pockets and his right harrying his duffel bag. He walked slowly, as if it was taking all of his energy just to move one foot in front of the other. His eyes, though still glued to the concrete road, swirled with emotions.

'So...I'm finally going to see him again... I'm finally going to get to see chicken wuss. Why did I ever call him that?' His brows knitted together and a deep frown formed on his face. 'I KNOW he hated it when I called him that...started doing that adorable shadow boxing.' His eyes softened but the frown remained.

Suddenly he became aware of the fact that he was being watched. His eyes flickered quickly in the direction that he felt someone's eyes fixed on to his lowered head. He had to do a double take as he realized who it was that had been watching him so carefully. Zell stood there, his eyes clear as the summer sky above them. He was dressed in a pair of baggy blue jeans and a tight black t-shirt that said 'Ask Me Again When I Care' written in red across his chest.

'Zell... Gods he looks gorgeous. His hair still in that gelled up style that I loved to tease him about. I always wanted to run my hands through his hair. Always wondered if his hair was soft when it wasn't gelled.' His eyes were on the smaller blonde's hair as he continued his slow march forward. Then, his green eyes found the beginning of Zell's facial tattoo and he traced the tribal pattern with his eyes. s sks skin looks wonderful...so soft...' "So perfect..." he breathed out the words, barely moving his mouth. Seifer's eyes continued to lazily run over Zell's face, until they stopped suddenly on the tattooed boy's eyes. 'My god Zell, what happened to you?' Seifer instantly saw the pent up sorrow the small blonde was feeling. Maybe it was because he felt a kind of sorrow himself. Or maybe it was because he had seen enough faces to tell. He didn't know, all he knew was that his 'perfect smiling angel' was no longer the teen he had once been. 'What caused this change in you? Nothing could get you down before, so what caused you this much pain?'

Seifer came to a stop a few feet from Zell, just out of the boy's reach. 'Zell...' the green eyed teen resisted the urge to shake his head, 'where did your grins go? What happened to that light in your eyes that I used to worship and adore? What happened...to the Zell I use to tease to no end?'* Seifer's eyes were still locked to Zell's, and the tall teen began to search Zell's nearly empty sky blue eyes.

"Hello Seifer." Zell stared back at the teen that had teased and taunted him all his life. "You look like shit, man."

Indeed Seifer did look like shit. His face was pale and sunken in. His green eyes were dull and slightly blood shot. His lips were cracked and rough. His hair was still short, but it looked ragged and poorly cared for. His body looked weak and...'Defeated?' he thought to himself. It seemed like someone had sucked all of the taller boy's energy health, leaving Seifer with a pitiful excuse of a body. Zell took all of this in but was taken back when he looked closer at the tall pale blonde. "What the hell happened to you!" He saw the scar that Squall had given him, the most predominate scare the marred the blonde's face, and then he began to noticed the dozens upon dozens of thinner, paler scars that formed a slight web like pattern across Seifer's face. Zell's eyes ran across the scared teen's face and followed the scars down the tall blonde's neck to where they disappeared behind Seifer's baby blue shirt. Zell's blue eyes quickly found Seifer's green ones again. "What happened to you?"

Seifer didn't answer, he just stared back at the shorter teen. 'This is a dream. Any minute now SHE'S gonna come and kill him just like she always does and I'll have to watch him bleed to death in my arms again.' Seifer's eyes darkened.

"Seifer, are you listening to me? YO!! HEY MAN!" Zell was standing inches away from the daydreaming boy and began snapping his fingers in front of Seifer's face, trying to snap the shorthaired blonde out of his stupor. Seifer blinked several times and refocused on the person in front of him. "Seifer...are you okay?" 'I didn't think that he would look this bad! It looks like he hasn't slept in months and it seems he hasn't eaten in AGES! Not to mention the scars...how could he have gotten that many? What happened to him? He wasn't...attacked was he? That makes sense, but why would he let them do that to him? I know he could've stopped whoever it was.' "So," he started again, "Feelin' alright?"

Seifer stared down at Zell and finally nodded slightly. 'Gods it feels so good to see him again. I just wish...just shut it Almasy! Who are you to wish for anything. Just be happy his talking to you.'

Zell took another timid step towards Seifer who seemed to be lost in his thoughts. 'No one could sustain this many wounds in the months he was gone... Did he do this to himself?' He looked up a Seifer, 'No, Seifer's too proud to do that. He'd...never.' Zell took another step, his right hand twitched slightly. "Seifer?" Again the tall blonde blinked several times before acknowledging the boy.

"...? Yea?" He cocked his head to the side, a small frown gracing his features.

"How did you get these?" Zell's right hand, on its own accord, reached up and traced the longest scar on Seifer's face. It ran from the corner of Seifer's green eye, down his cheek to his chin and then down his neck, finally disappearing behind his shirt like the others.

'He...did he just? I...he touched me!' Glee filled through him momentarily, but it was slammed back in the dirt when he realized why Zell had touched his face. Zell noted the change, seeing Seifer's shoulders rise from their drooped position and the tall boy's breath catch. Then he saw the change die as quickly as it had come.

"I got them...from a lot of people." Seifer shrugged then and took a few steps away from the small blonde breaking the contact with the shorter blue eyed boy. "It's not a big deal." Seifer shook his head and whispered, "It's really not a big deal." It seemed like he was trying to convince himself, not Zell.

The blue eyed teen continued to stare up at Seifer. "Well...since it's no big deal, y'mind telling me who gave you those scars?" Zell raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. Seifer cringed slightly.

"I-I think I should be going now. I don't know why I came." Seifer turned to leave, when a hand landed on his shoulder and firmly spun him back to face the short teen.

"Who gave you the scars?"

'It's nice to see another kind of emotion in his eyes, besides sorrow and confusion.' "It doesn't matter." He mumbled and tried to leave again. Zell held him still.

"Obviously it does matter if you're covered in...in..." Zell let out a sound of frustration and motioned towards Seifer's face. "What happened? Who gave you those scars?" Zell's eyes glinted with an emotion Seifer was use to seeing in the young man's eyes, annoyance. "Who hurt you, Seifer?"

"I'm telling you, it's not important" Seifer's own eyes livened slightly when he saw the annoyance in Zell's eyes swell.

"Seifer Almasy, why are you being so...difficult?!?!" he growled.

'He said my name again...he said my name again...' "I'm not being difficult. I'm telling you the truth. It's NOTHING" Zell glared at the tall teen and was about to say something when Seifer muttered, "Why do you care? I've brought you and the others nothing but pain. So what if I gained a few scars." he shrugged, "It's no big deal." Zell was slightly taken back and his grip loosened on Seifer's shoulder.

'Is he saying he deserves what happened to him? No one deserves what he got.' "Seifer, you don't des--"

"I've got to go now..." Seifer said weakly. 'How can he say that?'

When he began to walk away Zell called after him, "You came here for a reason, you know. Are you going to finished what you started? I'm here, I'll listen! I won't judge you because it couldn't have been your fault." 'Why did I say that?'

Seifer stopped and looked at Zell and his eyes turned from blank to ice. "Why are you being so damned nice to me, Dincht?" he growled as he stormed back to the boy, his duffel bag forgotten on the pavement. "How can you, of all people, be this nice to me? How can you tell me it wasn't my fault?!" He grabbed to boy's shoulders and forced Zell to look at him. "Don't you know what I am! What I've done!" Seifer's voice began to crack. "I'm a monster! A fuckin' monster who doesn't deserve your kindness...or your pity." His whole body began to shake and his grip on Zell slackened. "I deserve nothing but what my victims give me. I deserve their hatred! I deserve the pain!" Seifer's eyes now shone unnaturally bright.

'Oh gods Seifer...please don't cry. Please don't you dare start crying.' Zell watched as Seifer's eyes began to overflow with tears. 'He's...he's lost his pride. Seifer would never do this before. My gods this must be serious!'

"I deserve ever blow...every slash, jab, stab, cut, bruise..." his voice was cut off by his emotions. "Zell...I don't deserve anything but pain...so please..." the tears began to fall, "please just...don't give me your kindness...just hate me..." he was openly sobbing now.

Zell stared at Seifer wide eyed. 'He's crying...I never wanted to see him cry! I didn't mean for him to start crying!' Zell's arms wrapped around the sobbing teen, keeping him from falling to the ground.

"Why..." Seifer buried his head in Zell's shoulders as his sobs began to take their toll on his already beyond exhausted body. "Why are you...doing this?" They finally slid to the ground as Seifer's full weight was put into Zell's arms. "Why can't you...just be like...everyone else..."

Those where the blondes last words as he fell into the inky blacknof hof his dreams and the horrors of his nightmares. He didn't hear Zell's mumbled words: "Because I love you." He didn't hear anything.

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Seifer woke up to find a cool sheet draped across his body and the scratchy feeling of the medical bandages he knew so well. He opened his eyes and immediately closed them tightly against the light as the pure white lamp above him blasted his eyes. He groaned and tried to cover his sensitive eyes but found he was unable to. After several futile attempts to move his arms and legs he accepted that fact that he was trapped.

'Please...let me be in Garden. They're not supposed to be allowed to hurt me here. It shouldn't be like that time. This has GOT to be the infirmary...it just HAS to be.' Desperation coated his thoughts and he began to break out in a cold sweat. Then he heard a groan and his whole body went ridged. "Please no..."

The words were a whisper but they reached Zell's ears regardless. He was sitting beside Seifer's bed groaning as his muscles protested the movement. 'Sleeping in that chair is a bad idea... now what is he talking about?'

"Please not again...not again...wasn't the other times enough? Why do you want to hurt me more?" Seifer was now a babbling mess. 'Come on Almasy, you know that you deserve this. Come on, man, you killed their children! Their children!' "I'm sorry," he sobbed, "I'm so sorry!" 'Do you think that's going to-'

"It's okay..." Zell smoothed Seifer's bangs from his damp forehead. "You can wake up now."

Zell's voice broke though Seifer's dark world of depression and angst, pulling the teen from his episode. "Zell..." his voice was hoarse and it cracked as he said the other teen's name.

"What was that about Seifer? What were you doing to yourself?" He asked as he reached for the medical cart beside him pulling out a damp cloth.

The tall blonde felt a cool rag run across his forehead and he allowed his eyes to flutter open. "What are you talking about?" He looked Zell in the eyes, confusion mingling with sorrow and fear. When Zell just stared back at him, he turned away and mumbled, "Don't look at me like that. I don't deserve your sorrow."

"Seifer." Zell ground out between clenched teeth. The blonde turned his head back, surpirsed, and was greeted by the angry teen in the chair. "Just give it a rest and stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself!" Zell's eyes flashed with contempt, but when he saw the lost look in Seifer's eyes he sighed, ran his fingers through his limping hair, and closed his eyes. "Okay...Seifer," he opened his eyes again revealing twin crystal blue orbs that reflected a kind of understanding. "I know that you feel guilty about your deeds and think you should be punished but...haven't you been tortured enough?!? I mean..." He looked at the teen restrained to the bed and shook his head. He reached closer to Seifer's bed meaning to release him from his restraints but stopped short when he saw Seifer flinch away from him. "Seifer?" His eyes stared into Seifer's green ones. "What's wrong?"

Seifer looked like he was going to say 'it's nothing' but corrected himself. "It's just a...a memory, that's all." He didn't look at Zell when he said this but his body language was more than enough for the small teen to understanat tat the memory contained.

He reached over again, noting the small flinch but pretending to ignore it, and released Seifer of the restraint around his shoulders. Then, standing, he went to the foot of the medical bed and removed the restraints holding his legs to the mattress.

"There. That's all I wanted to do." Zell sat back down in his chair beside Seifer and leaned forward, resting his tattooed cheek in his right palm. "So..." he started, watching as the older teen moto sto sit up in the bed. "Why did you come here?" That question seemed to take Seifer by surprise, because he collapsed back on the bed. "Seifer?"

The green-eyed teen shook his head at Zell and attempted to sit up again. 'Damnit...why can't I just-huh?' Seifer looked to his right and saw Zell's chest inches away from his face and felt Zell's strong left arm against his back. He licked his lips nervously and pulled himself away from the tight black shirt the boy was wearing. Zell's left arm continued braced his back, pushing him into the sitting position he had been trying to get into, while his right rested on a random place on the hospital bed.

'Damn Almasy, a guy gives you a little compassion and you're ready to fuck him? You are a little sl-'

"Seifer, are you okay?" Zell was still holding the older blonde.

Seifer nodded, but a scowl appeared on his face. 'I don't know what the hell you are but what's your problem!?'

'What's wrong with him?' Zell watched as Seifer went through a mental battle with himself. "Seifer..." he watched as the tall blonde's head fell forward limply. "Seifer? Seifer, what's going on? Seifer, this isn't funny!" Zell lifted the other teen's face with his right hand, half expecting a smirk to appear, but all he got was the heavy breathing Seifer began to emit and the sweat that began to trickle down his forehead. Seifer's eyes were open but he stared unseeing into Zell's face as the small blonde held his head up whispering his name.

'This...this is just great! He finally comes back but his lost his fucking mind!' Zell muttered a curse under his breath and removed his right hand from Seifer's face. Just before the green eyed blonde's head could fall once again, Zell slapped him. The sound echoed through the infirmary, along with the sound of Seifer yelling 'OW! What the hell was that for!?!' Zell shook his head and fell back into his chair. He looked at Seifer one last time and buried his face in his hands.

'This isn't the Seifer I wanted! This...this isn't what I expected! Seifer wasn't the kind to let what others thought or felt get to him...but now...' His shoulders started to shake. 'All those nights...all those dreams of the Seifer I missed and...and he comes back but...it's not him. HOW COULD IT NOT BE HIM!!'

Seifer watched in silence as he saw Zell fall from his chair to the ground hugging his arms around his waist as the tears flowed from his eyes. Never ending...never stopping...

"Why aren't you him?" he whispered as he felt himself being pulled against a warm chest. Zell buried his head in that chest, 'I waited so long and now...now he's back and I have nothing.' He sobbed harder, 'I don't even get the old teasing Seifer...I don't get anything but this ghost of a man who once was that guy I loved.' ~*Zell dear...he's still the same man...you just have to find him...*~ Siren's voice whispered softly in his mind. ~*Trust me...he's there.*~ Zell felt her smile softly, before returning to the back of his mind. 'He's...he's still there?'

"Seifer..." Zell's tears continued to fall, as he lifted his face, pure emotion showing in his blue eyes. "I missed you."

Seifer stared, dumbstruck, at the bundle in his arms. 'He...he missed me? He missed ME!?! Why would he miss me?' The tall blonde looked back down at the precious item in his arms and a faint smile graced his lips as he watched Zell hide his face in his chest. Then, as if Zell remembered Seifer was only wearing bandages for a shirt, the short blonde stood up abruptly and mumbled an apology. Seifer rose also, though a great deal slower than Zell, and stared intently into the shorter boy's clear blue eyes.

"What?" Zell asked quietly.

"Did you really...miss me?" 'Please say yes...please say yes...'

Zell blushed slightly, 'I can't believe this...what's wrong with you! Don't you dare even think about telling him the truth! He has enough problems already, don't go add ano-' "Yes...I did miss you." 'Now you've done it.' he scolded himself. Zell looked away from Seifer, regretting his words, then he felt a large haest est on the left side of his face and he lifted his eyes to Seifer.

Seifer looked back at the short teen and smiled his first genuine smile in months. "Thank you..." he whispered, drawing Zell's body to his. Zell just stared up at him wide eyed. 'Seifer...you better stop...you know what's going to happen! You're used and dir-' Seifer blocked out the voice and raised Zell's face, slowly he lowered his lips to the quivering mouth that belonged Zell and just when their lips where about to meet...Squall entered the small cubicle of a resting chamber. Seifer looked at Squall, all emotion draining from his body as Zell looked out the window, a slight red color staining his cheeks.

'He...almost kissed me.' Zell smiled, in spite of himself. However, his smiled died at Squall's words.

"Almasy. Get. Out. Of. My. Garden."

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Well there we have it...I think it's a bit shorter than usual... but it just seemed like a good place to stop.. ^.^;; Well yea...Seifer and Zell almost got their moment but...we can't have them gaining a relationship yet...that'd be too easy and quick. XD So...they'll get together in later chapters...hopefully. If Squall doesn't really kick Seifer out... I hope he doesn't ^.^ Yes, I have no control over this fic anymore... :P

*Sounds like a lovesick puppy doesn't he? Well you know...he could've been thinking that in the game. You don't get to know his thoughts...you just get to hear what he says so...his thoughts are mine to control!! >:)


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