FF7 Wonderland Story Or Reno Goes down the Rabbit

BY : SailorPoison
Category: Final Fantasy VII > General
Dragon prints: 628
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter 10 Lobster Line Dancing!



The Mock Turtle gives another dramatic sigh and covers his eyes with a flipper. He tries go speak of more but sobs stop his words from coming out. It takes a bit of calming from Nanphony before the Mock Turtle can continue his story.

Mock Turtle, “As you never had a chance to live in the sea,n yon you might not know what a lobster is.”

Reno, “ I know lobster. They taste great with butter sauce.”

Mock, Turtle, “ You never seen a real Lobster Line dance.”

Reno tries to envision this one, “ No, I missed that one.”

Nanphony, “ First you must clear the beach of all unwanted creatures. Then form a line along the shoreline.”

Mock Turtle, “ You form two lines. Make sure everyone is in their proper place.”

Nanphony, “This takes a bit of time.”

Mock Turtle, “ You advance twice.”

Nanphony, “ Each Lobster with a partner.”

Mock Turtle, “ Advance Twice set to partners!”

This point they start jumping and dancing.

Nanphony, “ Then exchange partners and retire thee ore order.”

Mock Turtles, “ Then you throw the.. umm.. the.. “

Nanphony, “ The lobsters.”

Mock Turtle, “ Out as far as you can. Aim for the ocean as they dislike hitting dry land. “

Nanphony, “ Then you go get them!”

Mock turtle, “ And swim back to shore. Then you completed the first part,”

All this time they are jumping and dancing around. Then suddenly, Mock Turtle gets sad again.

Mock Turtle speaks quietly, “It was quite a sight.”

Reno nods, “ That must have been one.”

Mock Turtle, “ Want to see it?”

Reno, “ Hell yeah! Dance ya hearts out!”

Mock Turtle looks an Nanphony, “ I shall need a lobster, if you please? One of us needs to sing!”

Nanphony, “ Would you please sing? I have forgotten the lines.”

So they begin their dance. Once in a while they dance so close to Reno, they step on his toes. This irks the Turk and makes him jump back to preserve his feet.

`"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail.
"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!
They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join thence?

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?


"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be
When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea!"
But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look askance--
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the dance.

Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the dance.

`"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.
"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.
The further off from England the nearer is to France--
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?"'

Reno is very happy the dance was over, “ About damn time! You were stepping on my feet! And what the hell is this bit about Whiting?”

Nanphony, “ You even know what a whiting is?”

Reno has to think, “ Crumbly lil shit that has its ass shoved into its mouth?”

Mock Turtle, “ No. They are not crumb Plu Plus, their tails are in their mouths because of the dance. Lobsters throw them so far, win mid throw, they curl up and their tails get stuck in their mouths.”

Reno, “ That is just plain fucked up.”

Mock Turtle, “ We know much more then you do. Like why they are even called whitings!”

Reno rolls his eyes, “ And why is that?”

Nanphony, “Cause of their footwear!”

Reno, “Come again?”

Nanphony, “ What to you use to polish your shoes?”

Reno looks at his very non shiny black shoes, “ If i gave a shit I would use Blacking.”

Nanphony, “Well, under the water we use whiting instead of blacking.”

Reno, “ How do you make whiting?”

Nanphony, “Soles and Eels! What else would they be made of? Even the shrimp of the briny deep know this!”

Reno, “Back off! Remember, I never been in the damn ocean. “ and then muses, “ If I was the whiting, I would told that porpoise to get lost.”

Mock Turtle, “They had to have him along. Why no decent fish goes anywhere without a porpoise.”

Reno rolls around the play of words in his mind, “ Porpoise purpose... “ Plus the fact they never got around to telling Reno why the Mock turtle is not a real turtle is forgot for the moment.

Nanphony, “ Tell us a grand adventure you have been in!”

Reno, “I know a few but I suppose I can tell you how I got here of all places.”

Nanphony, “ Please do tell!”

So Reno tells them about how he chased the White Cloud Bunny. At first he is not even sure how to go about telling some of the things he has seen. But soon he begins to realizes his audience will find his tale far more believable then his friends back home. There is also some relief in being able to tell someone his day.

Mock Turtle, “ Fascinating.”

Nanphony nods, “ Very fascinating, indeed.”

Mock Turtle to Nanphony, “ Have him repeat something new. See what happens”

Nanphony, “ Recite something for us.” As if he has some control over Reno.

Reno doesn’t quite care for this assumption. But then He has nothing to lose. Each times he has recited someg heg here, it comes out different. He tries to think of the Chocobo Ballet but he has lobsters in the brain still. This is what came out.

`'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
"You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."
As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose
Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toe

When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,
And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark,
But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,
His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.

This left them all dumbfounded for a moment.

Nanphony, “I never heard of that one before.”

Mock Turtle mutters, “ Sounded full of gay nonsense.”

Reno just shrugs. Wonders what they expect of him. He is no poet. He is just a Turk. Everything has been weird since he followed the Cloud Bunny. Why would a mere poem come out normal?

Mock Turtle, “ What does that mean anyway?”

Nanphony, “He can’t explain it anymore then me.” Looks to reno, “ Please recite more.”

Reno sighs as all this made him feel dizzy and in need for something strong to drink. Even paint rer ier is looking promising now. But he goes to the next lines anyway.

`I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,
How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie

The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,
While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,
And concluded the banquet ‘

Mock Turtle, “ This is pointless as all he does is confuse me further.”

Nanphony, “That is enough.”

Reno, “ Thank god. “

Nanphony, “ Want to dance some more or listen to a so

Reno doesn’t need to think this over as his feet are still a tad tender, “ A song!”

Nanphony, “ Hear that? The Lad wants to hear you sing!”

Mock Turtle sighs and clears his throat. While fighting back sobs, he begins his song.

`Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,
Waiting in a hot tureen!
Who for such dainties would not stoop?
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

`Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,
Game, or any other dish?
Who would not give all else for two
pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
PennPennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!
Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'


Nanphony, “ I want to hear that again!”

Mock Turtle is about to sing some more when an odd cry comes across the ways. The cry announcing a trial is about to be held.

Nanphony gets excited about this, “A trial? How lovely. Lets go!” Promptly starts dragging Reno with him, “ You have not see Wonderland till you seen a trial.”

Reno, “ What is this nonsense about a trial?”

But he gets no answer. One can still hear the Mock turtle singing his song as Reno is taken away by the strange cat/dog like creature.

‘ Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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