FF7 Wonderland Story Or Reno Goes down the Rabbit

BY : SailorPoison
Category: Final Fantasy VII > General
Dragon prints: 628
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter 3 Racing Animals and the Mouse’s

They were an odd group upon the shore. All were well soaked with salty water. All rather cross about the sudden flood. What they all agreed upon was the need to get dry. This was discussed greatly among the group. Even Reno felt a part of this strange gathering as if he had been with them for years. The duck was sure it knew what was best. Reno thought the Duck was best in orange sauce.

The Mouse soon took charge of the meeting, “ I know the best way to get dry. Just dow down in a circle.” Which everyone did. Even Reno who had no desire to get truly sick. “Now I shall tell you the driest thing I know. That shall do the trick.”

Mouse clears her throat and proceeded to give a rather boring history lecture. The Mu made a sound of disgust.

Mouse paused her lecture, “Excuse me, but did you say something?”

Mu, “ Not me!” the creature hastily says.

The mouse proceeded again with the lecture. Not before long Duck interrupted with a question. The Mouse was annoyed but answered the question before he tried to continue again. The others found they were not only cold and wet but now bored silly.

Reno, “ Fuck this. I an not a bit drier then before.”

Chocobo, “I move that we adjourn the meeting a for more immediate remedy to our problem.”

Mu, “ Other words?”

Chocobo, “ Best way to get dry is to run. Lets all have an animal race!”

Reno hated to run for anything aside self preservation, “ An animal race?”

Chocobo pauses to see who will answer before he spoke again, “Why I suppose I can explain it.”

First part is quite simple. They all race in a circle but it doesn’t exactly have to be a circle. Square, rectangle, or triangle can be used if seen fit. Racers start wherever they want. After a count from one to three, the racers begin to run. They just have to keep running till they are done. Which means it is hard to tell who wins as there was no finishing line and runners tended to come and go. The The idea of creating body heat during running did occur to Reno. Thus he joined the race. But after half an hour of running the Chocobo declared the race was over.

Reno, “ Who the fuck won anyway?”

This made the chocobo think a great deal. There is sat with its beak preening some feathers as it wondered that seemingly simple question. Then finally the chocobo declared, “ Everyone won!”

Mouse, “ But who gives out the prizes?”

Chocobo had no desire for this responsibility points at Reno, “ He gives them out!”

Reno knew he had to come up with something least he get attacked by several disgruntle animals. Thus turned out his pockets. Inside them were several pieces of Gil. Each winner he gave a piece of Gil.

Mouse, “ Hey, Reno needs a prize too!”

Reno sighs and finds one mint left. The chocobo takes it from Reno and looks it over with solemn expression.

Chocobo, “ We beg thee to accept this marvelous Mint.” Which all the others cheered.

Reno thought all this was rather retarded but accepts the mint with a solemn face. Then they all tried to eat their prizes. Which was rather funny sight to behold as Gil are not easy to swallow. Reno secretly mourned the loss of his Gil as he sucked on the mint. With the race final over, they all sat down to hear a story.

Reno, “ Mouse is due to tell me her story of woe. Of why she hates cats and Dogs.”

Mouse gives him a look but sighs, “ My story is very long and very sad.”

Reno’s mind drifted off as the mouse began her tale so he only heard some of it.

Fury said to a mouse, that he met in the house,
"Let us both go to law: I will prosecute
YOU. -- Come , I'll take no denial; We must have a
trial: For really this morning I've nothing
to do."

Said the mouse to the cur, "Such a trial,
dear Sir, With no jury or judge,would be
wasting our breath."

"I'll be judge, I'll be jury," Said cunning
old Fury: "I'll try the whole cause, and
condemn you to death."

Reno snaps back to reality when mouse snaps, “ You are not listening to me!”

Reno just rolls hiss, “s, “ Excuse me, but you were boring me to death, again.”

Mouse, “ It is not my fault you have no attention span!”

Reno, “ Who put a pole up your ass?” The says in defense, “ Besides I was listening, just in my own damn way. Now get back to the fucking story before I shoot you!”

Mouse huffs anormsorms off. She has no more desire to speak to or near the Turk.

Mu to its young, “ Let that be a lesson. Always the wise monster holds his temper, least he lose the prey.”

Baby Mu looks back, “ You should speak, ya old hypocrite!”

Reno sighs, “ Damn, I wish Rude was here.”

Mu, “ Who is rude? Aside you that is.”

Reno smirks, “A friend and drinking buddy. He is such a perfectionist but a shark in any card game. Why we once both screwed these twins after a night of drinking in Junon.”

This talk of gambling, sex, and drinking gave a rise among the animals,. Some of the birds like the chocobo hurried off with ruffled feathers. One was heard saying that it was getting late and her eggs needed to be sat on. The other animals left either by same reason or boredom.

Reno, “ Damn, just when a good story was about to be told too. They are just a bunch of uptight pansies.”

Reno sat there sulking as he looked about his pockets for some dry cigarettes. That is when he heard the patter of small feet. Maybe the mouse had come back for more verbal abuse?


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