FF7 Wonderland Story Or Reno Goes down the Rabbit

BY : SailorPoison
Category: Final Fantasy VII > General
Dragon prints: 628
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter 7 The Mad Pilot’s tea Party

There is a rather nice table set out not far from the house. A man is dressed in an old style pilot uniform looked much like Cid. The dark gothic man has brown bunny ears sticking from his locks of raven hair. His ears like that of a hare. Near by, passed out is a small cat which reminds Reno of the creature that sits upon a mog named Cait Sith.

The table itself has large and held many chairs of various types. The three seem crowned into one corner.

Pilot, “ You there! This is a private party! Get the hell out of here!”

Reno, “ I am not here to drink fucking tea! I just want to get off my feet for a little bit.” As he sits down in an empty seat

Hare Gunman, “Would you like some Red Wine?”

Reno sees no sign of that, “ You have wine?”

Hare Gunman, “ No. Not really.”

Reno, “ Then why did you offer me some? That is pretty damn rotten!”

Hare Gunman, in an icy way, “Pretty rude to sit at our table in the first place.”

Reno, “ I’m a Turk. I take what I want!”

Hare Gunman insists, “One should wait till invited before they sit at another man’s table.”

Pilot, “ Who the fuck cares? You are both ruining my tea.” Looks at Reno, “ Excuse me Miss, but would you like to have a cookie?” He offers Reno a plate of cookies.

Reno narrows his eyes, “ I am not a female. No, I don’t want a cookie.”

Pilot doesn’t seem to hear that, “ Why is a raven like a writing-desk?”

Reno is taken off guard by that one. “ I suppose I can play along.”

Hare Gunman, “ You think you can answer that?” asked with raised eyebrow.

Reno, “ Yeah.. Sure, why not!”

Hare Gunman, “ Then answer it.”

Reno, who thinks he knows the answer finds voicing it another matter, “ Well it is like this.. I mean to say... Shit.”

Pilot, “Exactly! But not the answer.”

Cait Sith like creature, “Riddle without a reason... “ and falls back to sleep.

The group go quiet as Pilot and the Hare Gunman seem content to sip their tea. Reno picks up a cup and took a small sip himself. This was not just any tea. It was rice tea also known as Saki. First time reno finds a drink that is agreeable to him.

Pilot, “What is today?”

Reno, “Thursday?”

Pilot, “ Wrong! Today is tea day! Everyone knows that dumb shit!” and looks at the butter quite peevishly, “ This butteste ste like shit!”

Hare Gunman quite defensively, “ That is the best butter on the market.”

Pilot, “ Are we having tea on the market? I think not! I wanted some decent snacks. Not this shit!”

Hare Gunman looks down at his cup in a sulky manner, “ It was the best butter.”

Reno spots the Hare’s watch as it was not like anything watch he has seen before.

Reno, “ What does it do?”

Hare Gunman perks up, “ It tells me the year.”

Reno, “ How about time of day it is?”

Hare Gunman, “ No, just the year.”

Reno, “ That sucks. What sorta of watch doesn’t tell you the time of day?”

Hare Gunman got defensive again, “ Does your watch tell you the year? I think not! My watch is very special!”

Reno snorts, “ You know, the time changes but it tends to stay the same year for many months.”

Pilot, “That is why the dog doesn’t climb trees!”

Reno looks at the pilot, trying to understand what he just said. Has no bearing on the argument over the watches.

Reno, “What did you say?”

Pilot puts his fingers to his lips, “ Shhhhuuusshhh the little pussy cat is asleep.” And helps himself to whatever is in the tea kettle.

Cait Sith thing named Puss mumbles in a groggy manner, “ I’ll make more in a little bit.”

Pilot, “So can you answer my riddle?”

Reno sits back, “I give up. What is the damn answer?”

Pilot chuckles with the Hare Gunman before answering, “ I don’t have a fucking clue. I’ve been wondering that myself.”

Hare Gunman, “ We have yet to find the answer from anyone.”

Reno growls, “ That was a waste of my time!”

Hare Gunman, “ What would you know about time aside what that ordinary watch tells you? You have no room to talk about wasting It. It is all HIM.”

Reno, “ What are you ranting about?”

Hare Gunman, “I bet you never gave time a second thought.”

Reno, “ Why the hell should I? Time only matters if I need to get a job done quickly.”

Pilot, “ That makes sense. You ignore him and he ignores you. Now if you made good friend with Time, he could be such a pal when it comes to the clock. He can change it for you! Like you in a meeting you despise? He can send you right to your break.”

Reno, “ Is that your secret?”

Pilot looks said, “ Alas, not anymore. We had a quarrel right before he, “points at Hare Gunman, “went mad. He is quite inconvenient sometimes. We had our quarrel around the time I had to sing before the King of Hearts.”

“ Twinkle twinkle little airship.”

Pilot looks at Reno, “ Sweet little fucking song. Heard it before?”

Reno, “ I heard something similar but different.”

Pilot nods, “ But there is more!”

“High up-bove the world you fly. Like a tea cup in the sky. Twinkle twinkle... “

Puss, “ Twinkle.. twinkle.. twinkle.. twinkle.. , “ slurs in a groggy manner.

Pilot, “ That is when the king accused me of Murdering time. I told him to shove it up his ass , for I would never kill a good friend. So he ordered for me to be beheaded.”

Reno, “ That is a little extreme.”

Pilot, “ Ever since then, Time won’t speak to me. “

Reno, “ His loss, that is what I say.” As the Saki is relaxeing him and making him quite agreeable. “ Why are there so many place settings anyway?”

Pilot, “We are very busy having tea; we have no time to wash the cups. “

Reno, “ I see now. So you just move around the table. But what happens when you end up where you started?”

Pilot, “Then we talk about something new!” Yawns as he is growing bored,“ I say we let the red-head tell us something amusing.”

Hare Gunman, “ I se tha that notion!”

Reno has to think hard through the pleasant haze of alcohol, “I don’t have any pleasant stories. I do know a few raunchy ones.”

Pilot perks to that but the Hare gunman gives the pilot a look.

Hare Gunman, “Then we shall let the puss tell us one.”

Pilot, “ Wake up Puss! We all want to hear a story!”

Puss’s head snaps up, “ I’m wake!”

Hare Gunman, “ You were asleep, again.”

Pilot, “ Now tell us a fucking story before I kick you back to your own home.”

Puss, “ Once upon a time... There were three sisters. Mara, Lee, and Nae. They lived in the bottom of a flooded mine shaft.”

Reno, “ How the hell did they? No one can stay healthy like that.”

Puss, “Exactly. They were always very ill.”

Reno tries to visualize this lifestyle, “ Why did they live in such a mine shaft?”

Pilot pours Reno more saki, “ Have some more!”

Reno accepts the cup and sips, “This is really great!”

Pilot, “ Only thing here that is great because I brought it.”

Gun Gunman gives the pilot a dry look for that comment. Reno can only guess that the Hare provided all the snacks. Reno thinks the snacks are quite fine as he helps himself to some more.

Reno, “ Why did they live in a mine shaft full of water?”

Pussy Cat has to find his train of thought, “ Because it was filled with Fool’s gold. Only a fool would be drawn to it.”

Reno, “ That's bloodupidupid!” Pilot making a shush motion at the Turk.

Puss didn’t take his remark so well, “ You be so opinionated, then you can tell the story!”

Reno grumbles, “ Geez.. I’m sorry. “

Puss, “ So these three little sisters had to learn how to draw.”

Reno, “What did they draw?”

Puss, “ Buckets of water! They were trying to drain their Mine shaft.”

Pilot, “ Dratt, My cup is too dirty. It is time to move!”

All of them move several seats down but only the pilot gets a new fresh cup. Reno’s cup is dirtier then before now.

Reno, “ Where did they dump all that water?”

Pilot, “ Outside the mine shaft, dumb shit!”

Reno, “Still stupid. They could have just gone to a drier part of the mine.”

Puss, “They drew more then water. They started to draw all sorts of things like M and more Ms.”

Reno, “ M & M’s”

Puss, “ I already said that!” Then closes his eyes. But just as he is drifting to sleep, Pilot pinches him back awake.” Oh yes! Soon they were drawing all sorts of things with M. Then N. T was always a favorite.”

Reno, “ I don’t think.. “

Hare Gunman, “ You should try to think more often. It might be good for you.”

Reno glares at the hare as he hates to be interrupted and to have his words twisted around like that at the same time . He has taken enough of this. Stands up, with a little tipsiness, and sulks off away from the crazy people. He doesn’t even pause to see if they might call him back. Last thing heard was a discussion about trying to shove Puss into a teapot.

Reno, “ I don’t need their damn help! I never needed anyone’s help! This is why I still think tea parties are for women or gay men.”

About now, Reno notices a tree with a doorway. Not that he has any place better to go, he decides to go through the doorway, On the otherside is a very lovely garden. Roses of various kinds all around and the most beautiful fountian sat in the middle of it all.


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