FF7 Wonderland Story Or Reno Goes down the Rabbit

BY : SailorPoison
Category: Final Fantasy VII > General
Dragon prints: 629
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter 2 Drowning in Tears. What Not in Beer?

Reno, “ What the hell?!”

The fact he was growing larger then expected. The room has become alarmingly cramped. Head hits the ceiling in a bang causing his eyes to water. When they begin to water, has trouble getting them to stop. Reno was not crying. Reno never cries. Her grabs the key despite the fact he has trouble seeing out of watering eyes,

Reno, “ Damn it.. If someone sees me they would think I was acting like a fucking woman. They would never let it go either.” His tears were creating great puddles on the ground. The puddles became vast pools.

Then came slashing and voice of the Cloud Bunny, “ I must hurry or the king shall behead me!”

Reno was feeling very frustrated by now. Maybe the Cloud Bunny can give him some answers! Cloud Bunny was coming closer to him. But upon seeing the giant Reno, drops a what looks like a cake? before running away. Well, Reno was feeling hungry again. Cake was hardly much to his 9 foot self but better then nothing.

Reno ponders in his own little world, “ Who am I to have to suffer this shit? As if god delights in making me squirm. What makes me so special to have been pulled to this crazy shitty place?! Maybe just because I am rather handsome. The gods are jealous I bet. “

Reno gives a rather sulky sigh.

Reno, “ I am not Palmer as my form is rather slender and not that of a gluttonous pig. I am not Scarlet for I am at least a little picky at whom I fuck. She would fuck that cat creature that escaped Hojo’s lab. They deserve this crap more then me any day of the week. Yet, I’m the one shitted upon.”

Reno,his his rants fails, to note he was shrinking.

Reno, “ Maybe if I took my mind off off this crazy shit? Hmmm.. I would love to get some of them bitches Cloud hangs out with naked about now. Tifa has a nice set of tits. But Aeris has an ass I could eat up. Elena wouldn’t be that bad if she kept her mouth shut. “ A small poem comes to mind.

How does the Behemoth improve his shiny scales.
How his wings glide though the ski like wings of silver.
How cheerful he does grin, before he blasts one to tiny bits.

Reno, “ Shit that was fucked up! Maybe I shall be stuck here for all my damn life and forced to beg beer off passing people. Maybe someday when I die, they’ll use my bones as decoration in some fucked up Halloween thing. “

Then Reno realized that once again the room was much roomier. Even worse, he was wadding in alot of water. But at least he had the key! Which, Reno used the key on the door. All the water that was in the room, now comes surging through the newly open door, dragging Reno along with it.

Reno was swimming along the salt water, “ This is truly the most gay way to die that I can even conceive of.”

Splashing was heard close by. Someone else was also swimming? Reno felt some satisfaction that he won’t be the only one to suffering possible drowning in salty tears. If he ever really knew the girl, he would have remarked the mouse has a striking resemblance to Priscilla of Junon Harbor.

Reno, “God, I’m going to drown and the last creature to speak to will be a rather large rat. “ Was a mouse but Reno labels all rodents as rats. “ Hey, rat, you find any large cats recent?”

The mouse leaps up some in water and screams in a painfully shrill voice., “Don’t joke like that! Would you want to discuss a creature that lives its life trying to eat you, ya jackass! Plus, I am a mouse, not a rat!”

Reno scowls, “ Tune ya voice down some syllables! I happen to know one cat who is too damn lazy to catch a toy rat let alone a real one.” But came to realize that this rodent can help him find some land or maybe tell him where they are. “ Lets talk about something else.”

Mouse, “ Indeed you should shut up about cats. They are vile, evil things! “

Reno, “ Okay, I get the damn point! How about dogs?” The mouse gave no reply, “ I saw this mutt once. Reddish hair. Friendly for a stray. I saw it once kill this huge fucking rat!” and realized his error

Mouse was now swimming away from Reno with all its might.

Reno, “ Damn it! Come back! We’ll talk about whatever the fuck ya want! At least we can keep each other’s mind off swimming.”

The mouse heard this and swims back to the Turk, “ Lets get to shore first, then we shall chat. I shall tell you why I despise cats and dogs!”

Soon they were joined by other animals. A chocobo, a duck, a Mu, an eaglet, and others he couldn’t take the time to identify. They had more of a clue where to go, thus Reno was led to the shore.


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