FF7 Wonderland Story Or Reno Goes down the Rabbit

BY : SailorPoison
Category: Final Fantasy VII > General
Dragon prints: 628
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter 9 Mock Turle’s story

The Duchess, who has been forgotten by King and court, puts her fat arm around Reno making the Turk look like a stick.

Duchess, “ I am very pleased to see you, Dear Reno!”

Reno is not sure if this change in temperament is due to lack of pepper or the fact Duchess’s life will be spared now.

Reno, “ When I get home, I shall cut down on the pepper. And increase the booze.”

Wonders if there was something about pepper. Or the pepper here is different from his own world and drives people into insane rages. That would explain the wild tantrum of the cook and the Duchess earlier. He ponders the similar of hyper and pepper. Maybe he can take some pepper home and trick his enemies into use it on their food, thus attacking their own allies while he sits back and watches. No one will suspect harmless pepper.

Duchess brings him back from deep thoughts, “ Are you thinking about something? You must be for you went quiet. In fact there is a moral to all this.”

Reno, “ A moral?”

Duchess presses Reno more against her, “ Of course! Everything in life as a moral if you know where to look.”

Reno doesn’t care for the Duchess to be this close. She is a very ugly woman with a rather odd smell.

Duchess, “ Oh yes.. I found our moral! It is love that makes the world go round!”

Reno, “ I always thought money made the world go round.”

Duchess, “ Money is also the source of all evil.”

Reno grins, “ Then world spins because of evil then. So, world can not exist without evil.”

Duchess, “ Lets have ak atk at your Flamingo! I suspect you were given a foul tempered one.”

Reno chuckles, “ You may try but the bastard bites.”

Duchess nods as she lets go or Reno, “ Alot of things bite. Mustard is infamous for doing that! Which gives us another Moral ‘ Birds of a feather Flocking together makes hitting them with a rocket launcher easier.’ “

Reno, “ But mustard is a sandwich spread and not a bird,”

Duchess, “ Why you are correct!”

Reno finds the Duchess is agreeing to everything he says. This he doesn’t trust one bit. Wonders what Duchess is really after, “ I think you want something of me.”

Duchess is about to say something when they find themselves before the King. The King stares at the Duchess in a cold manner,

King of Hearts, “ Something is going to be lost in a moment. It will be either you or your head.” Duchess takes the hint and disappears. Kings looks back at reno, “ Time to continue our game.”

Reno reluctantly follows the King. Just something creepy scary about the King. Maybe because he is very much like Sephiroth of his world. Plus, Reno refuses to give into his fear. To run now would be to admit he is scared. Hating the fact the King makes him feel anything but cool and collected.

While the King was away, the others were using the time to sit under some cool shade. Queen entertaining them with amusing stories. The moment the king returns, they all take their places again.

To Reno’s dismay, the game proceeds like before. King declares all who dare to argue to be executed. Just ruins any fun the Turk might of had. Wants a hard drink more then ever before. Soon, Only the King, Queen, And Reno are left in the game.

King looks at Reno, “ Have you ever seen the Mock Turtle?”

Reno just looks back puzzled, “ No. “

King, “Why they make excellent soups. Now dear, why don’t you take him to the Mock Turtle. “

Queen turns to her company who were all under the order of execution, “ You are all pardoned!”

Reno sighs as this was all giving him a headache. At least the Queen seems to be a rather nice lady.

Queen, “Lets go for a walk dear.” taking him along a small path.

They come upon a large red furry creature that has cat like and dog like qualities. In fact, if Reno didn’t know better, he would have mistaken this for the creature Cloud calls Red XIII. The creature is sunning itself in the sun.

Queen, “ get up, dear, The king wants this gentleman to see the Mock Turtle.”

Nanphony yawns with his great big mouth and looks at Reno, “How lovely.”

Reno, “So where is this Mock Turtle?”

Nanphony, “Come this way!”

The cat leads Reno along ways to a beach. Upon the rock sat a turtle, sad and lonely, as he watches the surf roll in. Yet, something about this turtle reminds him of Tseng. This is the first time he is reminded of a fellow Turk here. He didn’t really pity this creature but can’t deny the curiosity as to why the turtle is sad.

Reno, “ He looks depressed.”

Nanphony, “ He fancies he is happy.”

Reno, “.... Okay. Self delusion seems a common thing here.”

Mock Turtle spares them a glance as they approach.

Nanphony, “ This young man wants to hear your story.”

Mock Turtle looks Reno over, “I shall tell you my story, but keep in mind you must stay quiet throughout it and stay awake.” He also speaks same way as Tseng. Smooth baritone voice.

Reno, “ Umm, sure, whatever.”

There Reno sits in silence waiting for the Turtle to even begin. He ponders that all the people here seem to begin a tale with a moment of silence. Either they are recalling it or they like the dramatic effect. This is wearing on Reno’s already frail patience.

Mock Turtle, “ Once upon a time, I was a real turtle.”

This is followed by another moment of silence only to be filled with bark from Nanphony and the dramatic sigh of the Mock Turtle. Reno is about to just walk out when the Turtle speaks again.

Mock Turtle, “When we were wee ones, we went to the school under the sea. There I was taught by the finest of teachers: the tortoise.”

Reno, “Was there an underwater hare?”

Mock Turtle, “ Of course not! They were all eaten by the sharks. That is a rather stupid thing to ask.” Once again he goes quiet.

Nanphony, “ Please, dear boy, continue the tale least the King looses patience with us. You know how tempermental he gets when he must come to the beach.”

Mock Turtle, “We were given the best education possible. We were there all day long.”

Reno, “I had a school like that.”

Mock Turtle, “ But mine had the special bonus features!”

Reno sighs, “I wont ask what they were.”

Mock Turtle, “I wasn’t able to afford the fancy course with the extras. I took the boring one. Reeling and writing always begins anything. Then the many different branches of Arithmetic-- Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.”

Reno marvels, “ I didn’t know Uglification was a class.” Also makes he wonder of some people in ShinRa took that class.

Mock Turtle, “ Of course! If come can get beautified, then they must be able to get uglified.”

Reno decides he just wants to get the story over with, “ What else occurred in this school?”

Mock Turtle, “ I learned about Mystery... both ancient and modern. About Seaology. My most favorite as Drawling. My teacher was an old Eel. He taught the mastery of drawling, stretching, and fainting. I would show you the tricks but I am too old.”

Nanphony, “ I never learned. I was busy with other classes. My teacher was Crab the Classics Master.”

Mock Turtle, “ I heard he could teach you how to turn tears into laughter.”

Both sign and hide their faces in their paws as they recall the more pleasant memories.

Reno was wondering if the story was going anywhere at all, “How many hours a day were you in school?”

Mock Turtle, “ The first day was ten hours long. Then it lessoned down an hour each day till we had holiday.”

Reno has to admit that actually sounded interesting.

Nanphony, “ Enough of the classes. Lets talk about the games!”

Reno, “ Games?


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