FF7 Wonderland Story Or Reno Goes down the Rabbit

BY : SailorPoison
Category: Final Fantasy VII > General
Dragon prints: 629
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter 12 Reno’s Testimony

Reno is for the moment stunned that Cloud Bunny has called his name. In all the very insane commotion of the court, Reno forgot one important detail. He is growing larger. He moves forward not used to the new mass of his form, thus tripping and falling forward. A jury members not pleased by almost being crushed by the Turk Witness.

Reno upon realizing this alarming fact of his new height is no longer worried about speaking before the court. Also a bit upset over some wounded pride that he has tripped infront of people.

Queen Zack, “ Please will everyone get back into their respectable places?”

Reno nods mutely as he attempts to sit in the Witness stand. It is rather uncomfortable on his ass. The jury writes down very diligently all about the accident as if it might prove to be important in near future.

Queen Zack, “ My dear, what do you know about this?”

Reno, “ Not a fucking thing.”

Queen Zack looks surprised, “ You know nothing about the stolen tart?”

Reno, “ No. I have heard nothing, Seen nothing. I was minding my own bloody business.”

Queen Zack turns to the Jury, “ Please make note of that Important information!”

Cloud Bunny speaks up in haste, “ The Queen means that is ‘ UN-important’ as in not important.” As the jury got confused. Some writing down it is important and others unimportant or coming close to the proper spelling of the word.

King Sephiroth whispers something into Queen’s ear and she yells out, “ Silence!” This causes everyone to shut up and pause.

Queen Zack, “ There is a rule in the books stating that no one above a mile High can attend this court.”

Reno is rather insulted, “ I am not a mile high! I am maybe 13 feet, thank you very much!”

Both are guessing as it was hard to see how tall Reno really is.

Queen Zack looks at Reno, “ But you are indeed very tall.”

King Sephiroth, “He has to be two miles Tall. Not too tall to be beheaded!”

Reno, “ I don’t have to leave till I damn well wanna leave! Besides I bet you made that rule up!”

Queen Zack looks into her book, “ This is rule forty-two and a very old one at that.”

Reno, “ If it was so bloody important then it should have been made the first rule there.” He smugly counters.

King Sephiroth was losing patience, “ Jury I want a verdict on this now!”

Cloud Bunny, “ Your majesty, we still have more evidence to bring before them.”

Queen Zack, “ What is the evidence?”

Cloud Bunny pulls out a letter, “ A letter addressed from the prisoner to someone.”

Queen zack, “ Whom is it addressed to?”

Cloud Bunny, “ It does not say! Plus it is not a normal letter but set in verse.”

Queen zack, “ But it was written in her handwriting, yes?”

Cloud Bunny, “ That is the strangest part of this. This was not written in the knave’s handwriting.”

The jury begin to get confused and whisper among themselves.

King Sephiroth, “ Simple, she had someone else write it.”

This brings an understanding in the jury as they all quiet down, smiling.

King Sephiroth, “ So the letter proves she is guilty!”

Reno can’t stand this much stupidity, “ That doesn’t prove jack shit! At least read the letter!” The adds with disgust, “ I thought the system at home was messed up.”

Queen Zack agrees with Reno, “ We should read it first, dear.”

Cloud Bunny opens up the letter and reads it out loud for whole court to hear.

`They told me you had been to her, And mentioned me to him: She gave
me a good character, But said I could not swim. He sent them word I had not
gone (We know it to be true): If she should push the matter on, What would become
of you? I gave him one, they gave her two, You gave us three or more; They all
returned from her to you, Though they were mine before. If I or she should chance
to be Involved in this affair, He trusts to you to set them free, Exactly as
we were. My notion was that you had been (Before he had this fit) An obstacle
that came between Him, and ourselves, and it. Don't let him know she liked them
best, For this must ever be A secret, kept from all the rest, Between yourself
and me.'

Queen Zack, “ That was very significant. I think it is time for the verdict!”

Reno, “That was pure nonsense! I’ll give anyone hundred gil to anyone who can tell me what that means.”

But no one can explain it to Reno. The Jury is too busy writing it down and hardly had the IQ to even begin.

Queen Zack, “ That does complicate things. But Knave can’t swim even if she wanted to.”

Scarlet Knave, “ I am made of Cardboard! I would sink!”

King Sephiroth, “ But the letter points out she is guilty by the lines, ‘I gave him one, they gave her two.’ They must mean my tarts!”

Reno, “ But it also says, ‘They all return from HER to YOU.’ That means something.” Can’t believe he is arguing in favor of anyone not in the Turks.

Queen Zack, “ But who are They? This also says, ‘ before they have fits. My Sephiroth never has fits.”

King Sephiroth, “ Never.” And hits the desk so hard with the small mallet that it knocks off a ink well onto Johnny’s head. Poor Johnny to this point had run out of ink and uses the ink dripping down his face to make more notes.

Queen Zack, “ Then the words don’t Fit you.” with some giggles as she made a pun.

The pun is followed by dead silence in the entire court room, exception of the King laughing. He takes great offense no one else found his Queen’s joke funny and glares about. This brings the court room laughing and the King is satisfied.

King Sephiroth, “Lets just give out the sentence now and decide the verdict after some snacks.”

Reno rubs the bridge of his nose now, “ That is not how you do it! You give the verdict first!”

King Sephiroth, “ This is our court room and we can say what goes.”

Reno, “ You are all so damn stupid! Are you all mentally challenged?”

King Sephiroth, “ Some one cut his head off!”

Reno, “ Why should I be scared of you! You are nothing but a silly pack oof cards.”

By now Reno was as tall as he was going to get and took up a bit of the ceiling space. The whole pack of soldiers did indeed come flying at Reno’s face forcing him to bat them off in angry swings. The next thing he knows he is falling backward into darkness.

The Turk opens his eyes finding himself a dumpster in the alley. Reno climbs out and looks around. Is he back home? Yes, this does look like Midgar. Quickly spots the same bar rude likes to visit and gamble at.

Reno, “ What in the world?”

Reno walks into the Bar and Rude waves him over. It seems Rude has acquired a sum of Gil.

Reno, “ Hey what day is it?”

Rude, “ What do you mean? I saw you only a couple hours ago. Have you been drinking that bootleg liquor again? I told you that stuff is going to fuck you up.”

Reno, “ Maybe I was just asleep on the bar stool,” as he realizes no one will believe him anyway. No proof of his visit. Not even the mushroom pieces in his pocket.

Reno sits and watches his friend gamble with the other ShinRa employees. But he can still close his eyes and hear the Cloud Bunny hurrying along the ways, the Poems of the Mock Turtle, and tea parties of the Mad Pilot ca

He wonders if he will ever have a chance to go back to that strange world. Maybe next time he can take Rude with him so he has someone to share hiorieories with.
Maybe someday, when he decides to settle down and have kids, he might tell them his story. Maybe watch as their eyes light up with each telling


~ The End ~

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